Applying the Remedy for Discouragement

Do you ever feel discouraged? Maybe the special meal you planned didn’t turn out as expected. Or the diet you’ve tried hasn’t produced the results you wanted. Or just when you thought you were getting your finances in order, an emergency threw your budget out of whack. 

Perhaps the source of your discouragement is more profound: After years of striving to be the perfect parent, following advice from all the ‘experts,’ a headstrong teenager has you worrying well into the night. Where did you go wrong? Or after watching too much news on TV, the current state of the world has your head spinning, knowing there’s absolutely nothing you can do to fix it.

 

Reasons for being discouraged come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we can’t seem to overcome those feelings. By definition, discouragement means to lack encouragement. This is where we can step up to help one another. 

 

The anonymous writer of the New Testament book of Hebrews understood this, because he wrote one of the Bible’s most powerful passages about applying the remedy for discouragement: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…” (Hebrews 10:23-25). 

 

There’s a lot packed into those three verses. We find it’s not a matter of, “Suck it up! Things will get better. Just be positive.” No, the primary reason we can feel encouraged – to have hope – is because of God and His character. He’s ever-faithful, doesn’t fall asleep on the job, and is busily at work, even when we can’t see exactly what He’s doing. He’s the source of confident hope, no ‘hope-so,’ wishful thinking.

 

Next, I like the phrase, “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” When I was a boy, I spent many hours watching cowboy shows – Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Hopalong Cassidy, Wild Bill Hickok, the Long Ranger. They’d ride about proudly on their “trusty steeds,” and when immediate action was required, would spur their horses into action.

 

Encouragement should work the same way. It’s not about engaging in a mutual self-pity party, commiserating about how bad things are. It’s prodding or ‘spurring’ one another into action, acting on the hope and trust we have in the God who in Jeremiah 29:11 says, “… I know the plans I have for you…plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.”

 

Circumstances might not change or improve immediately, but instead of acting like turtles and retreating into our shells we can continue moving forward, assured the Lord hasn’t forgotten about us.

 

Then there’s the part about “meeting together” to encourage one another. This life, as I’ve stated before, isn’t about mimicking the aforementioned Lone Ranger, living a life of isolation. We need one another, one day being the recipient of encouragement and another day being the one who offers it.

 

While it doesn’t use the word ‘encouragement,’ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 addresses this strongly: 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

 

Where do we find encouragement? Where can we give it? It might be a close friendship in which two people are always there for each other; whenever there’s a need the other promises, “I’ve got your back.” It might be a personal accountability group, a handful of folks who don’t exchange pleasantries but are willing to ask tough questions when needed, along with offering timely help and support. Or it could be colleagues at work, ready to assist one another when workloads become too heavy or demanding.

 

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Barnabas, who’s introduced in the 4^th chapter of the book of Acts. His given name, we’re told, was Joseph. But he earned the nickname Barnabas, literally Bar-Nabas – “son of encouragement.” 

 

His very first act in the Scriptures was to sell a field and donate the entire proceeds to the work of the apostles, who had been commissioned to carry on Jesus’ work after He ascended to heaven. What a way to let the Lord’s closest followers know he believed in them and wanted to support what they were doing.

 

But his greatest moment of encouragement was when he came alongside Saul of Tarsus, after the one-time persecutor of Christians had encountered Jesus Christ while heading to Damascus, planning to carry out more mayhem. Saul – later renamed Paul – experienced a miraculous transformation, but the apostles weren’t buying it. We’re told, “…he tried to join the disciples, but they were afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple” (Acts 9:26).

 

In stepped Barnabas, who obviously spent considerable time with Saul to hear him out. Barnabas boldly stood up for the new believer, knowing his own reputation was on the line. Probably with reluctance the apostles allowed Saul to remain with them, and he proved to be a bold witness for Christ. Can you imagine how encouraging it must have been for Saul to have Barnabas vouch for his transformed life?

 

Their story doesn’t end there, but it’s a glowing example of the powerful impact of one person offering encouragement to another. Through the power of Christ, we can do the same. God might not send another apostle Paul our way, but even a brief time spent with a person needing a kind word or a generous gesture can have more impact than we could imagine. And we’ll discover that by encouraging others, we’ll be encouraging ourselves.

‘Keep On Keepin’ On’ – Easier Said Than Done

Have you ever started an ambitious endeavor with great enthusiasm and high expectations, only to experience the excitement fading as your goals took much longer to achieve than you had imagined? 

 

That has happened to me a number of times – a project at work that proved more complex than anticipated; a book I intended to write until some unexpected hurdles got in the way; even taking drum lessons and becoming dissatisfied with my progress.

 

It’s easy to utter the cliché, “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” but when days turn into weeks and weeks become months, we can find discouragement lurking right around the next bend. Perseverance and patience are noble virtues, but unlike coffee and pudding, they don’t come in instant form. They require time and determination.

 

Kind of like the little boy who opened a door and discovered a room filled with horse manure. Rather than being repelled, he started digging and digging. “With all this manure,” he reasoned, “there must be a pony in here somewhere!”

 

Sometimes well-conceived projects turn out to be just stinky, without a pony in sight. As time drags on, the work gets harder, and the objectives remain beyond reach, it’s very tempting to become disheartened and entertain thoughts of giving up. ‘What’s the use?’ “I knew I couldn’t do it.’ 

 

What if inventors like Thomas Edison, the Wright brothers, Alexander Graham Bell, and many other inventors had thrown in the towel after failing time after time? Who knows? We might still be sitting in the dark at night, telling each other than human flight is a fantasy, and believing that talking to someone long distance is just a crazy idea.

 

How can we “keep on keepin’ on” despite setbacks, obstacles, and the expending of much blood, sweat and tears that cause our confidence to waver? Especially in a spiritual sense, when familiar sins continue to trip us up, prayers seem to go unanswered, and God-shaped dreams seem unrealistic?

 

Much could be written about this and already has, from many perspectives. But a few simple tips might help to keep us going during the tough times. For instance, don’t attempt important, even daunting initiatives alone. I love the admonition from the author of the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, whom many scholars identify as King Solomon of Israel:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friends can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

 

We find similar wisdom in the New Testament: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…” (Hebrews 10:24-25). As a friend of mine has often said, “Not one of us is as strong or as smart as all of us together.”

 

Another helpful tip is to maintain a clear vision, remaining focused on the intended outcome. One verse that quickly comes to mind in that respect is 1 Corinthians 15:58, in which the apostle Paul admonished first-century believers, “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” 

 

For those of us involved in seeking to advance God’s kingdom in one way or another, we can easily fall into the trap of discouragement when desired results seem slow in coming. Paul was acutely aware of this, because he wrote elsewhere, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9)

 

If anyone’s entitled to become discouraged or disillusioned, it would be the Lord Himself as He surveys what’s going on in the world right now. I can’t help thinking of Jesus Christ, who following His crucifixion, burial and resurrection reconnected with His disciples and commissioned them just before His ascension. We find His final instructions in Mathew 28:19-20, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”

 

Even though disciples surely are being made in many places, and the Gospel is being preached in more nations and languages than ever, the cause of Christ seems to have so far yet to go. Do you think the Lord is wringing His hands in frustration or feeling disheartened? I don’t think so.

 

If anything, we need to continue looking to Jesus for unwavering hope. Hebrews 12:1-3 amounts to one incredible pep talk, an exhortation for us not to give up:

     “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

We All Need a Rock – We Don’t Need to Be an Island

The Faraglioni rocks off the Amalfi Coast at Capri,
Italy are a popular subject for photographers. 

During my college days, listening to music was a favorite pastime. Each week I’d march down to the campus record store and check out the latest releases. The Beatles and Rolling Stones were big then, and protest songs were popular. Everyone was into hard rock, but I often gravitated toward moody, pensive tunes. Simon and Garfunkel were among my favorites of that genre, a duo whose popularity peaked in the late 1960s.

Their songs were the kind that tended to get stuck in your head. They included some lilting tunes like “Feelin’ Groovy” and “Mrs. Robinson,” but Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel also recorded their share of mournful songs. It wasn’t until recently that I gave the meanings of their songs much thought. Maybe it was because of my own frame of mind in those days, but I hadn’t realized how gloomy some of them were. 

 

Consider, for example, 1964’s “The Sound of Silence”: 

“Hello darkness, my old friend – I’ve come to talk with you again

In restless dreams I walked alone, narrow streets of cobblestone 

‘neath the halo of a street lamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp….”

 

“Bridge Over Troubled Water,” released in 1970, was a bit more hopeful: 

“When you’re weary, feeling small, 

when tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all.

I’m on your side, 

oh, when times get rough and friends just can’t be found….” 

At least it offered a sense that in times of aloneness, there was someone available to offer comfort.

 

Perhaps the most striking was one that was always a particular favorite of mine,1966’s “I Am a Rock”:

“A winter's day
In a deep and dark December

I am alone…
I am a rock I am an island

 

I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain…

I am a rock I am an island….”

 

How’s that for the angst of youth? Maybe it appealed to me especially because of the words of another stanza: 

“I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock I am an island”

 

Being an avid reader and an aspiring writer, those closing words resonated strongly with me. If you’d asked me then, I might have proudly told you that, “I am a rock. I am an island.” Problem is, that’s no way to live – at least not a healthy way.

 

Fast forward more than five decades and I have a very different perspective. Being an “extroverted introvert,” I value my space, but being alone, hiding in my room where no one touches me isn’t part of my emotional menu. Having gone through a number of formidable challenges during my lifetime, I’ve discovered I’m not “a rock,” and being “an island” seems like a pretty miserable existence.

 

Instead, my Rock is Jesus Christ. Psalm 62 expresses it so well. In verses 2 and 6 the psalmist writes, “Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Another psalm also written by King David of Israel asks, “For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God” (Psalm 18:31-32).

 

I’ve also learned the value of spending time with others for support, encouragement, comfort and mutual exhortation. Just as human organs can’t function properly apart from each other, people usually work best when they're together. I often think of the challenge from Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” 

 

That “Day” is the promised return of Jesus Christ, His second coming. No one knows when that day will be, but certainly we’re one day closer to it than we were yesterday. 

Perhaps, to paraphrase Simon and Garfunkel’s lyrics, when we’re weary, feeling small, when tears are in our eyes, God’s on our side. Even when times get rough and other friends can’t be found. He’s our Rock, and we don’t have to be an island. 

Peer Pressure: Perilous or Positive?

Did you hear about the ship that was faulted for damaging a large dock? They said it caused unnecessary pier pressure. (Lame joke, I know – but I’m a dad, so I’m told that makes it okay.) But growing up, I heard a lot about its homonym, peer pressure.

 

Most of the time, peer pressure was referred to in negative terms, such as fellow students coercing or persuading someone to do something they knew they shouldn’t. “If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?!” 

And without doubt, the power – and potential perils – of such peer pressure these days might be greater than it’s ever been: “Challenges” being posted on social media, often to do dumb or even dangerous things. Demands by the “in crowd” at school to behave, dress and even speak in certain ways. Protests promoting and endorsing certain lifestyles and worldviews. 

 

I know of a parent planning to remove a child from her present school because of relentless peer pressure. Even though the daughter is popular, she’s being pressed by her peers to engage in activities her parents have consistently taught her were wrong.

 

Once regarded as primarily a teenage phenomenon, it seems more than ever peer pressure has extended its reach to all age levels. We’ve seen its effects in terms of how people responded to pronouncements regarding COVID and vaccinations, political perspectives, views on myriad social issues and concerns, even types of recreation and entertainment to engage in. Sometimes that’s a good thing; sometimes it’s not.

 

In the Bible we don’t find the term peer pressure, but it’s addressed just the same – both in the positive and negative senses of the word. Proverbs 22;24-25 warns, “Do not associate with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” Uncontrolled anger is not a trait worth emulating.

 

Another passage admonishes, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Another translation states it, “Evil companionships corrupt good morals.” Behavior, good and bad, is both caught and taught.

 

However, peer pressure also can provide great benefits, as the Scriptures repeatedly affirm. For instance, the value of mutual encouragement: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

 

The importance of maintaining a sharp blade is everyday reality for many people, such as lumberjacks and chefs. As followers of Christ, we too must strive to remain “sharp” in living out our faith. This is why we’re instructed, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). As we “rub together,” we can keep each other sharp and focused.

 

What we know as the “Christian life” was never intended to be lived in isolation. We each have our own strengths, abilities and gifts, but to effectively serve the Lord we need to support, cooperation, and “peer pressure” of one another: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

 

Other than the relationship of Jesus Christ with His disciples, perhaps there’s no better illustration of positive peer pressure in the Bible than the relationship between the apostle Paul and his protégé, Timothy. Paul rightly regarded himself as Timothy’s spiritual father. Over and over, we find him reminding Timothy to hold firmly to the essentials of the faith and never to forget his calling.

 

“Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith…” (1 Timothy 1:18-19).

 

In a subsequent letter, Paul offers this exhortation: “You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 2:1-3).

As we persevere in our journey of faith, we’d be wise not to avoid peer pressure – as long as it’s pressing us closer to the Lord, not pulling us away from Him. 

What Should We Do During Times of Doubt?

Raise your hand if you have found the last 12 months or so to be difficult, confusing, even painful. The rest of you, raise your hands for not being truthful. Because in one way or more, 2020 and so far in 2021 (aka 2020, version 2.0), have perplexed us, confounded us, and maybe even unsettled our faith.

 

With chaos manifesting itself in so many forms – pandemic fears and mandates, extreme weather, political madness, the abrupt and drastic departure from “normal” – one could hardly be faulted for wrestling with periods of doubt. For non-believers, the go-to question has been, “How could a loving God allow this?” Even for believers, we’ve probably all had times when we wondered, “Lord, where are You?”

 

However, during less stressful, more predictable moments, doubts can emerge as well, from just about anywhere. A few days ago, a friend admitted her faith had been shaken a bit while reading a challenging section of the Old Testament, one of those portions of Scripture that make us think, “Wait! What?” What she read didn’t seem to mesh with the God of love, grace and mercy, manifested in the person of Jesus Christ, the New Testament shows to us.

 

Even though we’d like to deny them, doubts are actually an integral reality of the walk of faith. We see this throughout the Bible. The Israelites were a classic example. Every time circumstances got a bit difficult, they were ready to throw in the towel and trudge back to Egypt. “Hey, Moses! Yeah, we were slaves, but at least we had leeks and onions and a little bread!”

 

Reading the accounts today, we wonder, “Come on, Israel, after all God had done for you – being freed from Egypt, walking through the parted Red Sea, being given manna, then quail to fill your bellies – how can you doubt Him?” But they did. Repeatedly. It was an attitude of, “Yahweh, what have You done for us lately?” No wonder Moses smashed the first set of the 10 commandments in anger and frustration.

 

We see this over and over in the New Testament as well. By the time the man approached Jesus with the son possessed by a demon, the Lord had performed many miracles of healing and restoration. Explaining his son’s plight, the man said to Jesus, “But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” To which Jesus replied, “’If you can?’… Everything is possible for him who believes” (Mark 9:22-23).

 

The list of biblical doubters could go on and on, but we can’t omit Mr. Doubter himself, doubting Thomas, the skeptical disciple. Ole Tom hadn’t been there when Jesus appeared to the other disciples following His resurrection, so when he heard the others declare, “We have seen the Lord!”, his response was in the “yeah, right” category. “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it” (John 20:25). He was probably president of the Galilean Skeptics Society.

 

Even when Jesus appeared a second time, with Thomas in attendance, the disciple was hesitant. Jesus addressed his doubts. “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Finally, Thomas set aside his incredulity and responded, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:27-28).

 

We’re tempted to dismiss dubious Thomas, but aren’t we like that? There’s no need to rehash the trials and travails of the past year, but we’ve probably all wondered why God has seemed silent, even absent, when a loved one has died or suffered greatly from the virus. Or when financial woes have set in, or when an unexpected, unrelated crisis only added to our dismay.

 

I heard recently that studies have shown more than 70 percent of atheists lost their faith after going through difficult circumstances. That’s the case for people like Charles Darwin, Stephen Hawking and many others. But just because God doesn’t respond the way we want Him to, when we want Him to, doesn’t mean He’s not there – or that He doesn’t care.

 

So what are we to do as such times when nagging doubts don’t want to disperse? There are no easy answers, but for one thing, don’t deny the doubts. Going back to the story of the man with the demon-possessed son, when Jesus assurance him that everything is possible for those who believe, the father replied, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). God isn’t threatened or befuddled by our doubts or questions.

 

We also need to make sure we’re listening to folks who will affirm our faith, not undermine it. As Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together…let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Faith isn’t intended or designed to be embraced and lived out in isolation.

 

God knows our minds and our thoughts, so we can be honest in approaching Him. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

 

And lastly, press through our doubts, reminding ourselves of what the Lord has already done in our lives and trusting He will continue to hear us and meet our needs. “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does” (James 1:6-8). God is always at work, even when we can’t see or understand what He’s doing.

Choosing Between Wings and Weights

Way back in the late ‘80s, a chick-flick named “Beaches” featured a song called “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler. While the film itself was largely forgettable, the song rose to the top of the Billboard singles chart and won two Grammy Awards.

It became No. 1 elsewhere, too. You might be surprised to know it was the most-played song at British funerals, according to a 2002 poll in the United Kingdom. Maybe their version of the old gospel hymn, “I’ll Fly Away”?

The film is about two women who, despite very different backgrounds and personalities, become BFFs before anyone ever heard the term, “best friends forever.” They encourage and hold each other up through an assortment of personal hardships, hence the “wind beneath my wings” metaphor.

When I heard this song again recently on an oldies radio station, it struck me that there basically two kinds of friends – those who serve as wings and others who serve as weights. Wing-friends are those who uplift us emotionally, spiritually and sometimes even physically. My friend, Dave, whose way-too-early passing we remembered a couple of weeks ago, was one of those.

I remember the day we sat down in a restaurant and he told me about how he had started his non-profit, Leaders Legacy. I was looking to change jobs at the time and Dave commented, “If you need a place where you can flourish and become everything God wants you to be, we’ve got a place for you.” Within a few months I joined the Leaders Legacy team and it indeed has become a place where I could accomplish many things I’d never dreamed of doing.

Over the years I’ve been fortunate to have a number of friends like that, people who encouraged me and sometimes saw things in me I couldn’t see myself. We all need those kinds of friends at various stages in our lives.

Unfortunately, there are other “friends” who prove to be more like weights, whether by being poor influences, tempting us to head in directions we should avoid, or by failing to uplift us with words of affirmation and encouragement. Sadly, millions of people find themselves surrounded by supposed friends who more closely resemble weights than wings.

Perhaps the reasoning is it’s better to have unhealthy friendships than to have no friends at all. But life’s too short to spend it hanging out only with folks that bring us down and constantly dampen our spirits. We all need those who help to provide “wind beneath our wings.” But how do we find them?

Of course, followers of Christ know He’s the one who ultimately fulfills that role. But God also has known from the beginning, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). We all need someone “with skin on” to accompany us through this journey called life. So the Scriptures offer some helpful criteria for us in choosing who that should be.

Proverbs 27:17 states, for example, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” We need people to sharpen us, who can challenge and inspire us in becoming everything God has designed for us to be. Along the same lines, the writer of Hebrews 10:24 admonishes us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

If we want to hear bad, disheartening news, we don’t have to search far. We’re surrounded by it. So we must be intentional in seeking out people who act like good news when they show up and uplift us with their positive, affirming interaction. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).

We all need such edifying people in our lives. But even more, we should strive to be people like that for others. This is why Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 admonishes, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up…. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Weights or wings? Which will it be?