Peer Pressure: Perilous or Positive?

Did you hear about the ship that was faulted for damaging a large dock? They said it caused unnecessary pier pressure. (Lame joke, I know – but I’m a dad, so I’m told that makes it okay.) But growing up, I heard a lot about its homonym, peer pressure.

 

Most of the time, peer pressure was referred to in negative terms, such as fellow students coercing or persuading someone to do something they knew they shouldn’t. “If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?!” 

And without doubt, the power – and potential perils – of such peer pressure these days might be greater than it’s ever been: “Challenges” being posted on social media, often to do dumb or even dangerous things. Demands by the “in crowd” at school to behave, dress and even speak in certain ways. Protests promoting and endorsing certain lifestyles and worldviews. 

 

I know of a parent planning to remove a child from her present school because of relentless peer pressure. Even though the daughter is popular, she’s being pressed by her peers to engage in activities her parents have consistently taught her were wrong.

 

Once regarded as primarily a teenage phenomenon, it seems more than ever peer pressure has extended its reach to all age levels. We’ve seen its effects in terms of how people responded to pronouncements regarding COVID and vaccinations, political perspectives, views on myriad social issues and concerns, even types of recreation and entertainment to engage in. Sometimes that’s a good thing; sometimes it’s not.

 

In the Bible we don’t find the term peer pressure, but it’s addressed just the same – both in the positive and negative senses of the word. Proverbs 22;24-25 warns, “Do not associate with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” Uncontrolled anger is not a trait worth emulating.

 

Another passage admonishes, “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Another translation states it, “Evil companionships corrupt good morals.” Behavior, good and bad, is both caught and taught.

 

However, peer pressure also can provide great benefits, as the Scriptures repeatedly affirm. For instance, the value of mutual encouragement: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

 

The importance of maintaining a sharp blade is everyday reality for many people, such as lumberjacks and chefs. As followers of Christ, we too must strive to remain “sharp” in living out our faith. This is why we’re instructed, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). As we “rub together,” we can keep each other sharp and focused.

 

What we know as the “Christian life” was never intended to be lived in isolation. We each have our own strengths, abilities and gifts, but to effectively serve the Lord we need to support, cooperation, and “peer pressure” of one another: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

 

Other than the relationship of Jesus Christ with His disciples, perhaps there’s no better illustration of positive peer pressure in the Bible than the relationship between the apostle Paul and his protégé, Timothy. Paul rightly regarded himself as Timothy’s spiritual father. Over and over, we find him reminding Timothy to hold firmly to the essentials of the faith and never to forget his calling.

 

“Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith…” (1 Timothy 1:18-19).

 

In a subsequent letter, Paul offers this exhortation: “You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 2:1-3).

As we persevere in our journey of faith, we’d be wise not to avoid peer pressure – as long as it’s pressing us closer to the Lord, not pulling us away from Him. 

What Else Do You Need?

At times it seems the realm of entertainment is devoid of anything vaguely resembling solid, biblical – or even traditional – values. It’s almost as if someone in charge of LaLa Land told everyone, “Whatever the Bible says to do, we need to do the opposite.” Occasionally, however, glimmers of hope emerge.

Even the illumination of a small
spotlight can dispel the gathering
darkness.

One of those recently was a statement by actor-director-comedian Tyler Perry, whose “Madea” comedic films have drawn millions to the theaters and who, as I understand it, is a man of strong faith. In a quote online, Perry said, “It doesn’t matter if a million people tell you what you can’t do, or if 10 million people tell you, ‘no.’ If you get one ‘yes’ from God, that’s all you need.”

Those are words many of us need to hear, because we live in a world that will either beat us down, killing our aspirations and dimming our vision, or seeking to dictate how we are to think and act. As Perry says, one “yes” from God should be all that we need.

Peer pressure is a reality of the human condition we all encounter. It can be bad, seeking to force us into doing or believing what we deep-down know is wrong. Or it can be good when we’re surrounded by those who uphold strong, positive values and encourage us to do the same. But even when we lack helpful support, we can recognize, one “yes” from God is all we need.

One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” This statement came from the apostle Paul who, following his conversion, encountered one obstacle after another, challenges that would put the faith of most of us to the test. He surely had more than his share of detractors, but Paul learned time and again that the Lord indeed would equip him to do everything he was being called to do.

This doesn’t mean we can do anything we have a mind to do. Even if I wanted to do so, I’ll never ride the winning horse in the Kentucky Derby. No man will give birth to a baby. And no woman will ever jump from the Eiffel Tower and fly unaided, regardless of how much thrilling it might be to attempt.

But whatever the Lord calls us to do, He promises to provide the strength and resources to get the job done. I think of men like William Wilberforce and John Newton, followers of Jesus who dared to resist the prevailing current by opposing slavery and eventually serving as catalysts for its abolition. Joni Eareckson Tada, a well-known and much-accomplished quadriplegic, continues to be a role model for what it means to overcome great adversity and achieve what most observers would have said was unthinkable, including painting, writing and public speaking. Her faith in Christ also has served as her anchor.

We all find ourselves celebrating individuals who overcome circumstances and disabilities of many kinds in setting and then reaching lofty, seemingly impossible goals. Not all, of course, are driven by strong inner faith. But I believe that just as the Scriptures say we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14), God provides the inner motivation that compels us to unimagined heights.

Another verse tells us how: “And my God will meet all your needs, according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19). This applies to our basic, everyday needs, but also to whatever we need to carry out those things He uniquely calls us to do.

So if you are being asked to do something that seems far beyond your capabilities, a call the Lord has placed on your heart that won’t go away, disregard the naysayers. If God says yes, that’s all you need.