Trying to Put Pain in Its Proper Perspective

We just observed another Thanksgiving Day, thinking of numerous things for which to be thankful. But as I mentioned in an earlier post, how many among us could pray with sincerity, “Thank you, Lord, for the pain I’m going through”?

 

For most of us, pain would fall to the very bottom of the list of things for which to be grateful – if on the list at all. In fact, a book by author Philip Yancey is titled, Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants. (Yancey is probably among the minority in being able to be thankful for pain, since a number of his best-selling books focus on that subject.)

 

I’ve been thinking about pain a fair amount lately, since I’ve got a torn meniscus in one of my knees that will require repair work very soon. It’s been reminding me of one of my personal mottos: I wouldn’t mind pain…if it didn’t hurt so much. 

 

Pain’s no stranger to any of us. If not physical suffering, we’ve had to deal with pain in other forms: Divorce, depression, loss of beloved family members and friends, having to watch helplessly as others endure serious illness, unexpectedly losing a job, coping with major expenses that weren’t in the budget. The list could go on.

 

As we go through such circumstances, we might wonder: What’s the point? Is there purpose behind the pain? We can debate to what extent God actually causes pain to occur, but He obviously allows it to come into our lives. Does He have reasons behind the pain we experience?

 

Author and Christian apologist C.S. Lewis wrote in his book, The Problem of Pain, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

 

What Lewis said is true. When things are going well, when we’re reveling in our successes and good fortune, we have a tendency to feel that we don’t need God. ‘I’ve got this!’ He might be speaking to us, but we’re not paying attention. But in the throes of pain, we often turn to Him. ‘Lord, I don’t think I’ve got this!’

 

The Bible declares that pain is part of our ‘job description’ as followers of Jesus Christ. As the apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 3:10, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection,” which sounds great, but then he adds, “and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death.” Wait…what? “Sharing in His sufferings”?

 

Another apostle, Peter, made a similar statement about our journey with Christ: “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12-13).

 

In his devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes, “In the history of the Christian church, the tendency has been to avoid being identified with the sufferings of Jesus Christ. People have sought to carry out God’s orders through a short cut of their own. God’s way is always the way of suffering – the way of the ‘long road home.’... We never realize at the time what God is putting us through – we go through it more or less without understanding. Then suddenly we come to a place of enlightenment and realize – ‘God has strengthened me, and I didn’t even know it!’”

 

Studying the Scriptures we find the Lord can – and does – use the pain in our lives in many ways. For instance, circumstances beyond our control reveal need for Him. “It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees” (Psalm 119:71).

 

Going through various kinds of suffering can be part of God’s process for transforming us into the people He wants us to be. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4). We find the same idea in Romans 5:3-4, “…And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

 

Another purpose for pain in our lives can be to cultivate humility, as Paul recognized: “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’... That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

 

Theologian J.I. Packer offered this perspective: “Perhaps He means to strengthen us in patience, good humor, compassion, humility, or meekness by giving us some extra practice in exercising these graces under difficult situations.”

 

I needed an MRI to confirm the cartilage tear in my knee; lying with my leg completely still for 20-25 minutes caused pain more intense than I ever experienced. To shift my focus, I thought about Jesus having endured scourging and then hanging on the cross not for minutes but for hours, nails piercing his hands and feet. My appreciation for what He went through for all who believe in Him was heightened more than I could have imagined.

 

No one likes pain and suffering. But what a privilege it is to know, “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps” (1 Peter 2:21).

Comforting Others With the Comfort We’ve Received

One of the recurring questions we hear when we consider life’s realities concerns pain and suffering. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is there so much suffering in the world? Countless books have been written on the subject, suggesting many possible answers. But the problem remains.

I certainly don’t have any definitive answers or solutions, but I think we find one of the reasons at the opening of one of the apostle Paul’s New Testament letters. He wrote: 

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

The passage goes on to explain how we can both share in one another’s sufferings and in the comfort we experience as we go through them. We dare not underestimate the importance and power of being able to comfort others with the comfort we have received while going through similar trials. 

A year after undergoing open-heart surgery in 2006, when I returned to the hospital to celebrate my “anniversary,” someone asked if I would consider becoming a “cardiac volunteer.” I would visit with patients who recently had also undergone open-heart surgery. I agreed to do so, and for about five years I dedicated one evening a week talking with folks who had gone through procedures similar to mine. 

I couldn’t take away their pain, but was able to share from my own experience, my recuperation process, and by my own example, offer encouragement that better days were ahead for them. Many of them – and family members who were there for my visits – expressed how reassuring it was to hear my perspectives and suggestions for their recovery.

Recently I heard about an even more vivid example of what it means to “comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” I have a friend, a veteran of the Vietnam war, who heads an organization dedicated to serving military veterans suffering from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), as well as physical wounds from combat, especially those returning from Afghanistan, Iraq, and other battle fronts in the Middle East.

Having suffered severe wounds himself, along with the psychological trauma of combat, my friend can identify with the many struggles and challenges returning veterans are confronting. His organization provides a place where these men and women can gather for rest, recreation, nice accommodations and good meals – along with opportunities to interact with people who can offer the hope and comfort that come from a genuine, growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

My friend told about one veteran who had lost an arm and both legs from an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) explosion in the Middle East. Most of us can’t begin to imagine what that must be like. But during a weekend retreat, which includes a variety of competitions and even hunting, the recovering veteran was able to shoot his first pheasant. The joy he showed was palpable.

Many veterans, even those who have not suffered physical wounds, return home in despair, struggling to reacclimate themselves to civilian life. The suicide rate among this group of heroic people is staggering. So the power of receiving comfort from those who themselves have been comforted is immeasurable.

We might not be able to relate to this particular form of pain, but we all have endured suffering in one way or another. Sometimes the problems were eventually resolved; but often the aftermath continues. Either way, we have the capacity – and privilege – of being able to draw from the comfort God has provided to us and extending it to others. 

Even if the problem can’t be “fixed,” as is usually the case, we can’t put a price on the value of having someone willing to say and demonstrate, “I care” or “I understand.”