Trying to Put Pain in Its Proper Perspective

We just observed another Thanksgiving Day, thinking of numerous things for which to be thankful. But as I mentioned in an earlier post, how many among us could pray with sincerity, “Thank you, Lord, for the pain I’m going through”?

 

For most of us, pain would fall to the very bottom of the list of things for which to be grateful – if on the list at all. In fact, a book by author Philip Yancey is titled, Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants. (Yancey is probably among the minority in being able to be thankful for pain, since a number of his best-selling books focus on that subject.)

 

I’ve been thinking about pain a fair amount lately, since I’ve got a torn meniscus in one of my knees that will require repair work very soon. It’s been reminding me of one of my personal mottos: I wouldn’t mind pain…if it didn’t hurt so much. 

 

Pain’s no stranger to any of us. If not physical suffering, we’ve had to deal with pain in other forms: Divorce, depression, loss of beloved family members and friends, having to watch helplessly as others endure serious illness, unexpectedly losing a job, coping with major expenses that weren’t in the budget. The list could go on.

 

As we go through such circumstances, we might wonder: What’s the point? Is there purpose behind the pain? We can debate to what extent God actually causes pain to occur, but He obviously allows it to come into our lives. Does He have reasons behind the pain we experience?

 

Author and Christian apologist C.S. Lewis wrote in his book, The Problem of Pain, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

 

What Lewis said is true. When things are going well, when we’re reveling in our successes and good fortune, we have a tendency to feel that we don’t need God. ‘I’ve got this!’ He might be speaking to us, but we’re not paying attention. But in the throes of pain, we often turn to Him. ‘Lord, I don’t think I’ve got this!’

 

The Bible declares that pain is part of our ‘job description’ as followers of Jesus Christ. As the apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 3:10, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection,” which sounds great, but then he adds, “and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death.” Wait…what? “Sharing in His sufferings”?

 

Another apostle, Peter, made a similar statement about our journey with Christ: “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12-13).

 

In his devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes, “In the history of the Christian church, the tendency has been to avoid being identified with the sufferings of Jesus Christ. People have sought to carry out God’s orders through a short cut of their own. God’s way is always the way of suffering – the way of the ‘long road home.’... We never realize at the time what God is putting us through – we go through it more or less without understanding. Then suddenly we come to a place of enlightenment and realize – ‘God has strengthened me, and I didn’t even know it!’”

 

Studying the Scriptures we find the Lord can – and does – use the pain in our lives in many ways. For instance, circumstances beyond our control reveal need for Him. “It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees” (Psalm 119:71).

 

Going through various kinds of suffering can be part of God’s process for transforming us into the people He wants us to be. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4). We find the same idea in Romans 5:3-4, “…And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

 

Another purpose for pain in our lives can be to cultivate humility, as Paul recognized: “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’... That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

 

Theologian J.I. Packer offered this perspective: “Perhaps He means to strengthen us in patience, good humor, compassion, humility, or meekness by giving us some extra practice in exercising these graces under difficult situations.”

 

I needed an MRI to confirm the cartilage tear in my knee; lying with my leg completely still for 20-25 minutes caused pain more intense than I ever experienced. To shift my focus, I thought about Jesus having endured scourging and then hanging on the cross not for minutes but for hours, nails piercing his hands and feet. My appreciation for what He went through for all who believe in Him was heightened more than I could have imagined.

 

No one likes pain and suffering. But what a privilege it is to know, “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps” (1 Peter 2:21).

Discovering God in Times of Testing

Can you imagine what the marble must have looked like
before Michelangelo began carving his "Pieta"?

There’s an adage we sometimes hear that we can learn more from failure than we do from success. We could offer a variety of possible reasons for this, but my experience and that of many people I know is that, whether we like it or not, it’s true.

Success might be the result of vision, hard work and determination. But it might also be a product of being in the right place at the right time, or happenstance. Causes for failure, however, are usually easier to identify: Poor judgment; bad planning; not working hard enough; unwillingness to persevere, quitting too soon; downright sinful wrongdoing. Those are just some of possible contributors to failure.

 

But there’s another one we don’t often consider: God might be allowing adversity in our lives because He has some lessons we need to learn. The Bible calls it “testing,” “tribulations” or “trials.” 

 

One of the earliest references in the Scriptures is Deuteronomy, after God had given to Moses His commandments and instructions for the people of Israel. Referring to the nomadic journey the Lord had taken them on after their escape from slavery in Egypt, Moses said, “Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands” (Deuteronomy 8:2).

 

If ever there were a stiff-necked people, it was the Israelites whom God had specifically and specially chosen to be His own people. He could have chosen many other people groups, but the people of Israel were those He ordained to be His for eternity. During their 40-year wanderings, they had rebelled against Him on numerous occasions. So, He kept them in the wilderness for four decades, not only to test what was in their hearts but also to shape their character for the future He had for them.

 

A number of New Testament passages speak to this as well. In James 1:3-4, the apostle exhorts his readers, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Verses later James adds, “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him” (James 1:12).

 

There’s a similar statement in the short book of 1 Peter. After opening his letter to readers he calls “God’s elect, strangers in the world…,” Peter encourages, “In this you greatly rejoice, though for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – or greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus is revealed” (1 Peter 1:1,7).

 

We could cite many other passages, but it’s clear that what we often regard as failure, or mistakenly believe to be the result of sinful disobedience, might actually part of the refining process God uses to mold and shape us into the people He desires for us to be.

 

I can think of many times of testing in my life, times when I often wondered, ‘What did I do wrong?’ ‘Why is this happening?’ The benefits of the testing began when I shifted my questioning to ask, ‘What are you trying to teach me, Lord?’ 

 

There was the time when after leaving the newspaper business to join the staff of a Christian ministry, our house in our former city sat on the market for an entire year. All the while we struggled to meet mortgage payments on that house and the house we had bought, along with a bridge loan to buy the purchase of the new house in the interim. 

 

During that time, I dug deeply and diligently into the Scriptures, seeking to learn that “nugget” God was trying to teach me. I learned many things over that period, but the most important was this: The Lord telling me, “I am God, Bob, and you’re not!” He was eagerly working to break down my self-sufficiency and learn to trust Him, no matter the circumstances.

 

Since then, I and my family have dealt with testing in many forms. We felt fear at times, as well as anger, frustration, you name it. But God knew exactly what He was doing. And we’ve learned much as we’ve gone through the process.

 

Some sculptors, they say, work on a block of granite or marble simply chipping away at everything that does not look like the image they have formed in their mind’s eye. I imagine God doing the same with us, knowing how broken we all are, and slowly chipping away at our flaws, determined to transform us into the image of His Son. 

As 1 John 3:2 says, “Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.” Wow! If that’s the outcome of God’s faithful and loving testing in our lives, I’m all for it. How about you? 

The Vanishing Virtues of Patience and Perseverance

Once in a while, it seems, a typo can be more accurate than the word spelled correctly. Case in point: The sign standing alongside a hospital parking lot read, “Impatient Parking Only.” Apparently, someone was too impatient to proofread the sign! But in reality, most people parking there were probably as much “impatients” as they were in-patients. 

How many times have you arrived at a doctor’s office as a patient and as time ticked away in the waiting room, you turned into an frustrated “impatient”? 

 

More and more, impatience is becoming a dominant factor in many areas of life. A popular adage told us, “A watched pot never boils,” but these days it’s more like, “A watched microwave never beeps.” We used to be willing to wait days for correspondence to arrive via postal mail; now we become anxious when an email doesn’t arrive within a few minutes after it was promised. And when we send a text, we expect an immediate response.

“Impatient parking only.” Maybe we all should post this sign by our driveways, our workplaces – and even our recliners. It’s an appropriate sign of our times. 

 

I’m old enough to remember the days when it took at least a couple of minutes for the TV to “warm up” before we could watch our favorite show. Now we become annoyed if the screen doesn’t illuminate the instant we press the remote. Waiting for the red light to turn to green? Or for the driver in front to start moving once it does? Don’t get me started.

 

Our entire existence is littered with time-saving devices, ones that have succeeded in making us ever-less tolerant of anything that delays our intended objectives. Even larger-scope matters, such as attending college or advancing in a career, are afflicted with IV – the Impatience Virus. 

 

Virtues like perseverance seem old-fashioned. Because it requires patience and determination, a resolve to persist even when obstacles and delays emerge. We want what we want – but we must have it now – not tomorrow! 

 

Those of us who’ve had to grind it out in life, however, understand the two steps forward one step back path that progress often takes. Were it not for applying patience and perseverance to the tasks at hand, we’d still be wallowing in the world of “woulda, shoulda, coulda.” 

 

The apostle Paul certainly recognized that. Writing to his protégé Timothy, he said, “Now you followed my teaching, conduct, purpose, faith, patience, love, perseverance” (2 Timothy 3:10), going on to recount the persecutions and suffering he endured during his ministry. 

 

How could Paul do this? He relied on the power of Christ at work in him – “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13) – and kept his eyes, mind and heart set on the overarching goal of advancing the Gospel.

 

We don’t have to be apostles or “super-Christians,” however, to manifest these traits. We’re repeatedly reminded that patience and perseverance are intrinsic to the victorious life of faith. The book of James opens with the admonition, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:2-4).

 

Like it or not, having our faith tested by challenges and adversity is one of the primary ways it grows strong, one day hopefully resulting in our becoming “mature and complete, lacking nothing.”

 

Writing to believers in Rome, Paul expressed a similar view: “…And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us…” (Romans 5:2-4).

 

I’d hate to admit the many times I’ve grown impatient as I prayed to God, asking Him to do a certain thing in a certain way. But what I perceived as His delay actually proved to be one of His means for developing in me the patience and perseverance I desperately needed – qualities I’d need even more later on. The best way to cultivate patience, I learned, is by having no recourse other than to be patient.

 

In retrospect, I also realized that for the Lord to answer specific prayer requests, often a series of other things had to occur first. Kind of like dominoes toppling in succession, one following the other. What I saw as delay was actually His flawless timing. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

 

As Ecclesiastes 3:11 states, “[God] has made everything beautiful in its time,” even if His time is not the same as our time.