Comforting Others With the Comfort We’ve Received

One of the recurring questions we hear when we consider life’s realities concerns pain and suffering. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is there so much suffering in the world? Countless books have been written on the subject, suggesting many possible answers. But the problem remains.

I certainly don’t have any definitive answers or solutions, but I think we find one of the reasons at the opening of one of the apostle Paul’s New Testament letters. He wrote: 

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

The passage goes on to explain how we can both share in one another’s sufferings and in the comfort we experience as we go through them. We dare not underestimate the importance and power of being able to comfort others with the comfort we have received while going through similar trials. 

A year after undergoing open-heart surgery in 2006, when I returned to the hospital to celebrate my “anniversary,” someone asked if I would consider becoming a “cardiac volunteer.” I would visit with patients who recently had also undergone open-heart surgery. I agreed to do so, and for about five years I dedicated one evening a week talking with folks who had gone through procedures similar to mine. 

I couldn’t take away their pain, but was able to share from my own experience, my recuperation process, and by my own example, offer encouragement that better days were ahead for them. Many of them – and family members who were there for my visits – expressed how reassuring it was to hear my perspectives and suggestions for their recovery.

Recently I heard about an even more vivid example of what it means to “comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” I have a friend, a veteran of the Vietnam war, who heads an organization dedicated to serving military veterans suffering from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), as well as physical wounds from combat, especially those returning from Afghanistan, Iraq, and other battle fronts in the Middle East.

Having suffered severe wounds himself, along with the psychological trauma of combat, my friend can identify with the many struggles and challenges returning veterans are confronting. His organization provides a place where these men and women can gather for rest, recreation, nice accommodations and good meals – along with opportunities to interact with people who can offer the hope and comfort that come from a genuine, growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

My friend told about one veteran who had lost an arm and both legs from an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) explosion in the Middle East. Most of us can’t begin to imagine what that must be like. But during a weekend retreat, which includes a variety of competitions and even hunting, the recovering veteran was able to shoot his first pheasant. The joy he showed was palpable.

Many veterans, even those who have not suffered physical wounds, return home in despair, struggling to reacclimate themselves to civilian life. The suicide rate among this group of heroic people is staggering. So the power of receiving comfort from those who themselves have been comforted is immeasurable.

We might not be able to relate to this particular form of pain, but we all have endured suffering in one way or another. Sometimes the problems were eventually resolved; but often the aftermath continues. Either way, we have the capacity – and privilege – of being able to draw from the comfort God has provided to us and extending it to others. 

Even if the problem can’t be “fixed,” as is usually the case, we can’t put a price on the value of having someone willing to say and demonstrate, “I care” or “I understand.” 

Coping With Crisis – and Crises

With the arrival of Thanksgiving Day, we’re officially in the midst of the holiday season. Time for fun, frivolity, family and friends, we’re told. But what if this time of the year only magnifies feelings of frustration, failure, and even fear? When it seems you have little reason for giving thanks?

Recently I heard a description of the human condition: It seems there are three kinds of people – those who are in crisis, those who have just gotten out of a crisis, and those who are about to get into a crisis (whether they know it or not).

There’s good reason the term “crisis mode” is so widely used. Just when things seem to be going smoothly, and we’re about to proclaim, “life just can’t get any better than this!” some not-quickly-resolved dilemma decides to pop up, placing unavoidable bumps and ruts in the road.

Suddenly, rather than reveling in the ease of living, we’re more apt to agree with Mr. Murphy, whose law insists, “If anything can go wrong, it will.” If this describes your frame of mind right now, when the prevailing holiday mood of “happy, happy, happy” seems to have escaped you, take heart. You’re not alone.

This is why apostles Paul and James felt led to write we’re to “rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4), and “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

In the midst of the struggle, particularly in a season when we’re supposed to feel overflowing happiness, it’s not easy to “rejoice” or “consider it pure joy.” Not quite the words that come to our minds. But if we trust in God and His revealed Word, we’re assured this is exactly what we should do – and can do.

But again, we’re not alone. We’re not the only ones suffering pain inwardly, even if, like us, they force their faces to display happy smiles. And we shouldn’t have to endure our trials and hurts alone, either. We can turn to others for comfort, and thank God as we’re doing it. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Corinthians 1:2-4).

Sometimes, in the midst of our own adversity, the best remedy is offering comfort to someone else. It can take our minds off our own troubles. We might discover our difficulties aren’t as bad as we thought. And we may find that giving comfort to another is the greatest Christmas gift we could give, one that gives both ways.

Lastly, and most important, we can turn to Jesus. We’re told, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:15). Having taken on human flesh, enduring all of life’s challenges, He can say, without hesitation, “Child, I understand. I truly do.”

So if Thanksgiving for you is just the beginning of weeks of festive celebration, enjoy it! But if, like many others, the happiness of this season only serves to heighten your personal pain, look to the Lord with hope and confidence, knowing He is using this time in your life – no matter how hard – for your and His ultimate good and purpose.

Believing God is in control, and trusting that He genuinely has your best interests at heart, you then can do as 1 Thessalonians 5:18 exhorts us to do: “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

No Greater Love Than This

The killings of four U.S. Marines and one Navy petty officer in Chattanooga, Tenn. on July 16 marked yet another episode in the growing, tragic narrative of extremist violence across our land. The debate about the how’s and why’s rages on, but in the days following the tragic events, in which the shooter also was killed, two positives emerged – if such a thing is possible.

One was the incredible bravery demonstrated by the military personnel and law enforcement officers who responded. In fact, after doing all they could to guide innocent bystanders to safety, two Marines reportedly rushed back to the reserve facility hoping to subdue the shooter and protect others that were in harm’s way.

Marine Staff Sgt. David Wyatt and Marine Gunnery Sgt. Thomas Sullivan had guided nearly 20 people out of a building and beyond a security fence before returning when they discovered two were missing. Wyatt and Sullivan lost their lives attempting to save others.

Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends” (John 15:13). He said this prophetically about His own crucifixion for the sins of mankind, but the principle is universal. What greater, more courageous sacrifice can anyone make than to offer their life for another?

A poster at a memorial site shows photos
of the Marines and Navy petty officer who died.

We hear of acts like this in times of war and in response to violence, but it also applies any time we willingly place the interests and well-being of others ahead of our own. As Philippians 2:3-4 states it: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

Surely those noble Marines didn’t re-enter the building with the intent of dying, but were willing to do so if necessary. They were looking out for the interests of others.

The other positive was the incredible show of compassion and pride exhibited by citizens of Chattanooga and its surrounding area, as well as hometowns of the other fallen military heroes. For each of the funeral processions of Wyatt, Sullivan, Sgt. Carson Holmquist, Lance Cpl. Squire “Skip” Wells and Petty Officer 2^nd Class Randall Smith, many thousands lined the routes.

American flags of all sizes were waved all along the roadways, on highway overpasses and in the cemeteries. Homemade signs of support were held high, and tears were shed, even by those that never personally met any of the shooting victims. I’ve never seen such a mass display of the Stars and Stripes, even on July 4^th.

Those that assembled were not warmongers – just men, woman and young people with great pride in being citizens of the United States, greatly appreciative of the sacrifices made by our men and women in uniform, and sharing sympathy for the great losses by family members and friends.

A wooden cross joined a display of American flags
at a memorial set up near the recruiting office.

While the grief shared by the mourners was profound, this great show of support must have helped to provide much-needed strength. The Scriptures tell us about, “…the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Most in the crowd certainly had not experienced that kind of loss, but we’ve all known our share of sorrow, enabling us to offer some small measure of comfort to the survivors. In a letter to the Chattanooga community following her son’s funeral, Sgt. Wyatt’s mother, Deborah Boen, wrote. “Even in our sorrow, we feel that God’s blessing us with the outpouring of love from this community. We…were in awe of all who stood in the hot sun to honor our son and all the fallen heroes. We saw it all, and felt all the love showered upon us.”

Even in times of great tragedy and the aftermath of heinous acts of violence, God’s grace and mercy – and the best of humankind – can shine through.