The Pointless, Fruitless Pursuit of Happiness

Most of us are familiar with the phrase early in the Declaration of Independence that says people are “endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness….” This belief has undergirded the United States for two-and-a-half centuries, but it’s the last part – the “pursuit of Happiness” – that seems to be a sticking point for many folks. 

It’s important to note the Declaration doesn’t suggest happiness is guaranteed. Only the “pursuit” of it is assured. Which seems to be a problem for some people who feel they are entitled to happiness, and if they don’t get it – or can’t find it – they’re mad.

 

One of the problems is trying to define what happiness actually is, since what it means can vary from one individual to another. For a toddler, happiness is a new toy, a sweet treat, or being held by mom or dad. But as we get older, our idea of happiness can take the form of stuff, status, success, or many other things.

 

This is fine when we receive or achieve them, but what about when we don’t? Even then, the happiness we feel is fleeting. An old Latin phrase is tempus fugit – time flies. Well, happiness “fugit,” too. We have no better example of this than King Solomon of ancient Israel, who resolved to pursue happiness in all of its myriad forms.

 

We find him recounting this in the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, much of which seems to have been written in a cynical tone. Chapter 2 is specific in citing many of the pleasures the king strived to attain, only to reach the conclusion that, “everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:11).

 

What things captured his attention? Solomon enumerates them: Pleasure, laughter, lavish feasts and abundant wine, great building projects, stockpiles of silver and gold, various forms of entertainment, a harem of 700 wives and 300 concubines, fame and renown. 

 

He said, “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor…. So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Ecclesiastes 2:10,17).

 

Here was a man who literally had it all, everything his mind and heart could imagine. Solomon even had royalty from other nations come to bask in his presence and to benefit from his unparalleled wisdom. If anyone could find happiness, surely it would have been him. And yet, despite everything, he said all of it was meaningless. Other translations use the word “vanity.” A supreme waste of time, energy and resources.

 

We live in a very materialistic society, and for many among us the solution to all problems is money and stuff. Yet anthropologists have undertaken studies that showed the happiest people in the world aren’t necessarily the ones who wallow in material wealth. 

 

While finishing his painful analysis of the futility of pursuing happiness through things, accomplishments and experiences – repeatedly declaring, “Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless!” (Ecclesiastes 12:8) Solomon arrived at a stunning conclusion. 

 

He said, “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth…. Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:1,13). Instead of becoming fixated on the elusive, temporary things of this word that bring happiness that lasts about as long as a bite of cotton candy in one’s mouth, Solomon had arrived at the realization that a focus on eternal matters is what truly fulfills and endures.

 

On a stormy day, have you ever gone outside and tried to grab hold of the wind with your hand? Can’t be done, right? It’s much the same with happiness. One moment we’re happy about something we’ve acquired or achieved, the next we’re fretting over what we don’t have or can’t reach.

 

Writing to his young protégé, Timothy, the apostle Paul made a similar observation. He told him, “…godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (1 Timothy 6:6-7). Or as King David declared, “Blessed is the man [whose] delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night” (Psalm 1:1-2).

 

There’s nothing wrong with having things and enjoying achievements. But if we’re expecting them to provide us with lasting happiness and fulfillment, we’re fooling ourselves. No wonder so many people, even in our prosperous land, are miserable. Like love, they’re looking for happiness - in all the wrong places.

 

As Solomon learned, “[the Lord] has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). This life is a mere blip on the radar screen of eternity – we’d be wise to pursue those things that have eternal consequence.

Getting Better at Doing Something – Even If It’s Not Good to Do

Practice and repetition. These are keys to improving in whatever endeavor we choose to pursue. Whether it’s playing a musical instrument, flying an airplane, teaching in a classroom, learning to speak a foreign language, excelling in a sport, performing surgery, public speaking, or myriad other things, we become better at whatever we’re doing through practice and repetition.

 

For me it’s included writing, typing, taking photographs, and mentoring other men. I mention typing because when I took a personal typing class during my junior year of high school, I could never have imagined that proficiency at the keyboard would become an important aspect of my long career as a journalist, author and editor.

 

I’d like to say it has also been playing the drums, which I enjoy doing (but not particularly well). Looking back, I wish I’d invested more practice and repetition to develop my drumming skills. Alas, the best I’ll ever get at this stage of my life is playing in the privacy of my own home – and with the tolerant blessing of my wife.

 

There can also be a downside to practice and repetition. The more we do certain things, the better we get at doing them – even if they are counterproductive, even destructive things. For instance, some folks have spent much of their lives with negative self-talk, and they’ve become very good at it. ‘I’m a loser. I’ll never amount to anything. What’s the use of trying? I’ll never be able to succeed.’

 

The Bible admonishes us, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment” (Romans 12:3). This not only warns us against going on a lengthy ego trip but also encourages us to view ourselves and our abilities realistically. No one has ever achieved victory by harboring a defeatist attitude. 

 

Similarly, these days we see lots of people – on social media, in the news, in public places, even in our own homes – who through much practice and repetition have become experts at being angry, bitter and vindictive. These antagonistic feelings might be directed toward a parent or sibling, ex-spouse, former friend, even politicians, other public figures or sports teams. Sometimes these negative emotions become life-controlling. But not in an instant; they were developed and nurtured over time.

 

The Bible, in its timeless, practical way, speaks to this: “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God, and that no root of bitterness springs up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15). If you’ve done any gardening, you’ve observed some weeds form very deep roots and are hard to get rid of. In the same way, a “root of bitterness” nurtured over time can sink deeply into our psyches and make us miserable – and everyone around us.

 

Habits fall into the same category. Through practice and repetition, we can excel at things like exercise, eating properly, getting enough sleep, helping others, spiritual disciplines, and many other pursuits. But we can also become “good at” harmful habits such as excessive drinking, gambling, undisciplined spending, displaying fits of anger, indulging in online pornography, overeating, and lots of other stuff.

 

It’s a simple fact: The more we do of anything, the better we get at doing it. Even if it’s bad.

 

So, how should we respond? We’ve all had behaviors and habits we knew were wrong, that filled us with regret whenever we did them. Part of the solution is striving to do those things less and replacing them with things that are good. 

 

This is why the apostle Paul urged believers in ancient Philippi, along with followers of Christ through the centuries since, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put into practice…” (Philippians 4:8-9).

 

One remedy for someone who has become very good at dwelling on the negative is to put just as much effort – even more – into focusing on positive, uplifting, productive things. 

 

Scripture is abundantly clear that we’re saved by faith, through God’s grace and mercy, and not by anything that we do. However, to experience a healthy, thriving life with the Lord often requires that we learn to reorient our thinking. Paul addressed this in another of his letters, instructing us, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). 

 

I like the way the J.B. Phillips translation of this verse states it: “Do not let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God re-mold your minds from within….”

We’d like to think that once we’ve received Christ into our lives it’s easy to flesh out what we believe. But it’s not. It’s an everyday, even moment-by-moment challenge. About this, Paul the apostle offered this counsel: “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed – not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence – continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling…” (Philippians 2:12-13). Diligently strive to work out what God has worked into you.

Understanding the Times, Knowing What to Do

Occasionally I glance at sites on social media dedicated to folks like me, Baby Boomers. We were born between the years of 1946 and 1964, living in a world very different from what we know today. In some respects, about as different as ice cream and brussels sprouts.

 

We had funny-looking phones with circular dials. We’d have to wait for the dial to move back into place before selecting the next number. Many of us can remember ‘party lines,’ when one or more neighbors shared the same line. But it was no party if you had an urgent call and Mrs. Farquhar was in the middle of sharing the latest gossip. 

 

It’s hard for younger generations to imagine, but do you recall having only three TV channels? ABC, CBS and NBC were all there were. And those weren’t even round-the-clock. At midnight the stations would air the “Star-Spangled Banner.” Then all we had were test-patterns until the following morning. Great for insomnia, but not much for late-night entertainment.

 

When a child received a toy doll, she didn’t ask, “What does it do?” Because for the most part, back then dolls didn’t do anything. They just laid there. Kids had to use their imagination to figure out what the dolls would be doing if they could. When taking pictures, cameras had film in them. And most of the time it was black and white. When someone asked, “Did you get any good pictures?” we had to wait days for the film to be developed and photos to be printed before we knew the answer to that question.

 

Fast-forward to today and there’s so much we couldn’t have envisioned back then: Cell phones and text messaging. TV 24/7 with hundreds of channels; some of them even worth watching. Computers and the Internet that put the world’s information and knowledge literally at our fingertips. Email. Overnight package delivery. Electrically powered cars. Digital cameras that display the images instantly; if they’re not good, we can simply press “Delete” and they’re gone. As the hippies of my college days would have said, “Far out!”

 

And now we have AI – Artificial Intelligence. While many are debating its pros and cons, I sometimes wonder whatever happened to real intelligence. It appears to be in diminishing supply. 

 

Technology has brought many wonderful advancements. But it also seems that with all its positives, we’ve also gotten many negatives. I won’t attempt to single out the real and potential problems. You can think of some yourself. But we can’t just ignore them – they won’t go away on their own.

 

One response – particularly among those who profess to be followers of Christ and adherents of the Bible and its teachings – would be a blanket taboo. “We’re not going to do social media at all.” “Forbid our children to have cell phones until they’re at least 35.” “The Internet is the devil’s playground.” “Let’s just do away with computers altogether and retreat to the Stone Age!”

 

Somebody might be nodding, “Yeah, that’s right!” But most of us realize such extreme measures aren’t practical. In our digital world, it’s virtually impossible. So, what are we to do, other than accept the inevitable?

 

This brings to mind what the Bible refers to as “the men of Issachar” in 1 Chronicles 12:32. Who were they? We don’t know much about them, besides the fact that they were descendants from one of the 12 sons of Jacob, who was later given the name Israel by God.

 

The men of Issachar appear in a listing of large groups of armed men who pledged their support to David after the death of King Saul. Most of these are described as “armed for battle” or “warriors ready for battle. But then we come to the “men of Issachar, who understood the times and knew what Israel should do….”

 

There’s not a lot of elaboration, but apparently these were people known for being wise and discerning, who would have a good sense for what was required for achieving the transition from Saul’s tumultuous reign to David, the former shepherd boy.

 

Those were very difficult days for the people of Israel. Because of willful disobedience, Saul had been rejected by God as king; through the prophet Samuel, God had anointed David to be Saul's successor. The transition, it turned out, was never smooth.

 

We live in hard times today, perhaps all the more difficult because of advancements cited above and others. Where are the ‘men of Issachar’ who could tell us what we should do? We can’t exactly depend on AI to inform us as to what should be done, since that’s one of the areas of concern.

 

For believers, our ultimate source is the Lord and the Word of God. As James 1:5 instructs, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

 

And Proverbs 1:7 asserts that if we’re to acquire the necessary wisdom for navigating the turbulent waters of the 21^st century, it must start with God: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

 

We’re in an age when information is more plentiful and readily available than ever, but no matter where we look – be it in politics, entertainment, education, the media, even the sciences – wisdom is relatively scarce. Perhaps it’s because we’ve forgotten another observation from Proverbs, “For the Lord gives wisdom, and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding” (Proverbs 2:6).

 

The timelessness of the Scriptures is clear in these words from the apostle Paul: “We do, however, speak a message of wisdom among the mature, but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing. No, we speak of God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began” (1 Corinthians 2:6-7).

To become 21^st century men and women of Issachar, we need wisdom. And there’s not greater resource for that than the Bible, which is truly “trans-century.” 

First Step in a Long, Life-Changing Journey

A student receives a letter of acceptance from the college of choice. Hooray! The easy part is done; the hard work now begins. The job applicant receives a phone call from human resources saying, “You’re hired!” All right! Now all that’s necessary is to prove capable of doing the job – and to keep doing it. The prospective groom goes to one knee and proposes to his beloved. She says, “Yes!” Then the difficult part starts – first the wedding, followed by the reality of building a marriage.

 

It’s like this spiritually as well. Over the weekend our church held a spiritual retreat for nearly 800 young people during which they sang lots of songs, heard powerful biblically based messages, met in small groups and played games. To close the weekend, a number of them went forward to be baptized. Praise the Lord! There were choruses of joyful shouts after each baptism, sharing in the excitement of the milestone moments.

 

But for each of those adolescents and teens, that was just the beginning, the first step of a long, life-changing journey with Jesus Christ. That’s the hard part – studying, learning and applying the Scriptures, being obedient to what they teach, and discovering the Christian life is an impossibility apart from God’s Spirit and His indwelling power.

 

Years ago, I attended a church where every service ended with a lengthy altar call. I used to quip that we sang “Just as I Am” so long that by the end we were singing, “Just as I Was.” Inevitably, someone – often a number of people – would walk forward to commit their lives to Christ, or recommit themselves to Him, whichever was the case. But over time I’d notice that some of the same people would go forward again, and again, and again. 

 

I heard someone describe this as “rededicating until their re-dedicator wore out.” This isn’t to belittle the sincerity of those returning for a “do over,” since apparently it didn’t take the last time. It’s just recognizing that the lifelong journey with Jesus isn’t easy. It’s not a straight path, and sometimes it’s the proverbial two steps forward and three steps back. We may “reckon ourselves dead to sin” (Romans 6:11), but alas, sin isn’t dead to us. We’ll continue to wrestle with it until the day we take our last earthly breath.

 

A Chinese proverb states, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” This is true of the Christian walk – or trek, if you will. That single step might be getting baptized, walking a church aisle, raising a hand or signing a card to indicate having prayed to receive Christ, His forgiveness for our sins, and the promise of new life that lasts forever. But after that step countless others must follow.

 

How do we do that successfully? Many books have been written about this, but one thing is certain: It’s not a journey that’s intended to be undertaken alone. One of my favorite passages about this is Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, which says:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

 

Another Old Testament verse declares, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). From the beginning, God’s intention for the life of faith has been for it to be a partnership, whether a husband and wife in marriage, people sharing abilities and experience at work, members of an athletic team joining together for the common goal of victory, or most important, addressing the challenge of becoming “ambassadors of Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:20). 

 

When Jesus sent His disciples out for their first missionary assignments, He didn’t send them out alone. “Calling the Twelve to Him, He began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over impure spirits” (Mark 6:7).

 

When we read the story and writings of the apostle Paul, we find he wasn’t some super-Christian singing, “I Did It My Way.” He always was in the company of others, starting with Barnabas, who sought him out (then still known as Saul) after his dramatic Damascus Road experience with Jesus. After Barnabas, Paul traveled with a succession of others – Silas, Priscilla and Aquila, Sosthenes, Timothy, Tychicus, and even John Mark, the once-wayward cousin of Barnabas.

 

We in the Church of Jesus Christ do a disservice to new believers – and even lukewarm ones – when we fail to come alongside and help them in understanding how to follow the Lord. Hebrews 10:24-25 describes this so well: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

That “Day” – the promised return of Christ – is nearing. At the very least, we’re one day closer to it than we were yesterday. We should all desire to follow Paul’s admonition to, “stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord….” (1 Corinthians 15:58). The best way to succeed in this is to be certain no one has to undertake the journey alone. 

Considering Things Jesus Never Addressed

When I was visiting my uncle, aunt and cousins in Houston, Texas after my junior year of high school, Uncle Joe kindly took it upon himself to teach me how to drive. He was amazingly patient as I tried to follow his instructions on the old, orange Chevy pickup truck he called “Aurora.” It had a 3-speed manual transmission on the column, starter button on the floor, and clutch I had to learn to negotiate along with the gas pedal and brake. 

 

It was frustrating early on, figuring out how to engage and disengage the clutch while releasing the brake and stepping on the gas without either stalling out the truck or revving up the engine. Then there was learning to back out of his long driveway. Cars – and old trucks – didn’t have backup cameras then. Eventually I caught on, and his tutoring has served me well.

 

To this day I remember many of the things Uncle Joe taught me about driving. But some things he didn’t need to teach me. For instance, he never cautioned me about texting while driving. The reason is obvious: There were no cell phones in those days. Even if they had existed, he wouldn’t have said, “Yeah, sure, go ahead and chat on your phone. Sounds like a great idea to me. Let the other drivers look out for themselves.” He also never cautioned me about carrying explosive devices in the trunk of my car, or driving blindfolded.

 

Some things are so evident they don’t need to be said.

 

I mention this because increasingly we’re hearing people opine about what somebody else didn’t say. That somebody is Jesus Christ. People – even some within the Church – read His quotations in the four gospels, along with some in the Book of Acts and other New Testament books. (Printed in red in some Bibles.) Then they conclude, “Jesus didn’t have anything to say about this, so He must have had no objections to it.”

 

Seems they’re assuming Jesus’ words in the Scriptures represent the totality of everything He said and thought about during his 33 years on earth. This is ludicrous. If we were to take every one of His statements in the Bible and put them together, they probably wouldn’t amount to more than a week or two of conversation, if that.

 

The words of Christ in the Scriptures aren’t everything He ever said. They are, however, everything the Lord deemed necessary for the writers of the New Testament to include as they recounted His life and ministry. Just as the Bible doesn’t comprise everything there is to know about God – but it’s everything He determined we need to know about Him. All the libraries and bookstores in the world couldn’t begin to contain all the information about the infinite, eternal God who created the universe. 

 

The apostle John wrote, “Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of His disciples which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name” (John 20:30-31).

 

What I’m getting at is the way some folks offer opinions of what Jesus would say about myriad topics, ranging from abortion and illegal immigration to lifestyles that would have been unthinkable just a few decades ago. As if to say, “Since Jesus didn’t comment on it, He must not have a problem with it.”

 

Jesus never said anything either about kicking puppies, jumping out of airplanes without a parachute, running with scissors, taking up two spaces in the mall parking lot, or leaving the seat up on the toilet. Does that mean He would advocate such things?

 

When someone asked Jesus about what He considered the greatest of all commandments, He replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:38).

 

In other words, if we can succeed in following these two commandments, we’re doing well. Some choose to put extra emphasis on “Love your neighbor as yourself,” but Jesus said the greatest commandment of all is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Our thoughts, our actions and our words should all be governed by this mandate.

 

Another time, near the beginning of His “Sermon on the Mount,” Jesus asserted that His intent was not to cast aside the teachings that had been clearly established in the Old Testament, which comprised the Scriptures at that time. He declared, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished” (Matthew 5:17-18).

 

Jesus was affirming that Old Testament teachings on such things as sexual immorality, stealing, murder, envy, and many others were not being nullified. He had come not only to serve as the atoning sacrifice for such sins, but also to provide us with the strength and freedom to overcome them.

 

The entirety of the Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, is the revealed Word of God. In essence, the very words Jesus would speak to us today. As 2 Timothy 3:16 states, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking correcting and training in righteousness.”

Managing the Marriage Marathon

Every year people stand before an altar and say “I do” to each other. Then some morning one of them wakes up and says in wonderment, “I did?” Or, after trying this institution called “marriage” for a time, decides, “I don’t!” Roughly 50 percent of marriages end up on the scrap heap. A sad fact.

 

In one respect, it’s understandable. It’s trite to say, but true – opposites attract. Two people from totally different backgrounds, along with diverse interests, skills and values, and often unlike personalities, are drawn together and attempt to build a permanent, happy relationship. Not to mention neither is perfect or anywhere close; how can you create a “perfect union” out of imperfection? Too often, once the honeymoon ends, rather than attract, opposites choose to attack.

 

Maybe part of the problem is what I’d call the “rom-com syndrome.” Romantic comedies make love seem so simple, such a splendid thing. There’s the “meet cute” when man and woman have a serendipitous encounter. There’s almost always instant chemistry. Then, a week or so later, they decide even though they’re as different as water and fire, they’ve found true love.

 

We never get to see the sequel, where the neat freak loses patience with the slob, or the homebody faces constant friction with the partner who likes to flit from place to place. Introverts tend to marry extroverts, and spenders are inclined to link up with savers, so conflict is inevitable. 

 

But there’s good news! Marriages can – and do – last, some for many years. We just attended a celebration for a couple married for 50 years. My wife and I just celebrated a milestone of our own, being married for 52 years. More than half a century!

 

I’m not being self-congratulatory. Because the credit doesn’t go to us. It totally goes to our Lord who has kept us together despite the many hurdles we’ve had to overcome through those years: Old baggage. Financial problems. Health challenges. Difficult family issues. Dealing with major course corrections God provided during our adventure of life together.

 

It’s been said the best model for marriage should be a triangle, with husband and wife at opposite ends of the base and Jesus Christ at the top. The closer the couple grows toward Christ, the closer they grow toward each other. That’s been our experience. 

 

Early in our marriage, even though we met at a church, Jesus wasn’t a significant part of our lives. We kept Him at an arm’s length, disinclined to let Him interfere with life the way we wanted to pursue it. The problem was we had no idea about how to forge a strong marriage and build a healthy family. By God’s grace, He put us in churches and surrounded us with friends that taught and modeled for us what a Christ-honoring home looked like.

 

There’s no “secret” to marital longevity. They say that life isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. The same holds true for marriage. But it shouldn’t be simply a matter of endurance, of trying to “grin and bear it.” It should be a demonstration of teamwork and partnership, grounded in mutual love and respect – two different people complementing one another, carrying out differing roles but sharing the same goals.

 

Over the years the Lord has taught me many lessons about what it takes to make a marriage work. Even now I’m hardly an expert, but here are just a handful of the things I’ve learned:

 

I’d have to start with principles from 1 Corinthians 13, often recited during wedding ceremonies but too quickly forgotten even before the reception. That doesn’t mean they’re not valid or worth applying. The passage tells us that love, the kind God designed: 

“…is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

 

Every failing marriage, I’m certain, lacks some of those traits. When ‘self’ is on the throne, insisting on always having its own way, it’s hard to cultivate marital unity.

 

Teamwork is important on an athletic field, in workplace settings, and especially in marriage. As Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 affirms, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

 

I especially like the “cord of three strands.” If Jesus is one of the ‘strands,’ being a central part of the marriage, chances for success rise exponentially.

 

For me, it’s been critically important learning to tame my tongue. Proverbs 10:19 says it well: “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” Much of my adult life, especially when angry, I had a distressing tendency to put my tongue into gear while my mind was still in park. Putting it another way, to give someone a piece of my mind I couldn’t afford to lose.

 

The destructive power of uncontrolled anger is so common that Proverbs offers numerous warnings. For instance: “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly” (Proverbs 14:29).

 

Proverbs 17:28 states, “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent.” Perhaps that’s been the inspiration for a quote attributed to various people, including Abraham Lincoln and Mark Twain: “It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

 

Why’s it not a good idea to just say whatever’s on our mind? Proverbs 26:21 suggests the answer: “As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.” As I learned and still strive to practice, rather than spouting words in the heat of the moment, wait a little while. Many times, once emotion has calmed down, you won’t even remember what you were mad about!

Bottom line: If we follow God’s guidelines and submit to His authority, He is “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20). As they say, that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it! 

Don’t Make Light of the Confusing Meanings of ‘Light’

While visitors from other countries were spending time in the United States for FIFA World Cup soccer and raving about many aspects of American life, I wonder what they thought about our language. We might not realize it, but American English can be difficult to learn and comprehend. 

Take a simple example: the word “light.” If you want to pin it down to just one meaning, good luck. We have light beer and light butter, meaning fewer calories than the regular varieties. We might opt for a light snack or a light meal – something to appease hunger pangs but not enough to stuff our stomachs.

 

Some of us like to engage in light humor, which probably won’t provoke a belly laugh but might prompt at least a smile and a chuckle. I’ve long been a fan of light classical music – it’s not as lengthy and complex, and more geared for easy listening.

 

We’re careful not to make light of some topics, meaning they should be treated with proper respect and seriousness. Then we have light moments, when we’re not as serious. At times we’re asked to perform light duty, meaning tasks that won’t require a lot of time and energy. There are even more ways for “lighting” up our vocabulary, but can you see why a foreigner could get confused by our everyday jargon?

 

There’s also the most common and important use for the word light: That which refers to things like celestial orbs, light bulbs, flashlights and chandeliers. Even then, the light we find in nature has at least three intrinsic properties: Luminiferous, which means to illuminate, produce, yield or transmit light; actinic, which causes chemical changes, like photosynthesis; and calorific, which involves the production of heat or energy.

 

Light also carries great spiritual significance. It plays a starring role at the start of the Creation account. After noting, “the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep,” Genesis 1:3-5 tells us light was the first item on God’s to-do list. “And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness.”

 

What would be the point of everything else He planned to do without light by which to see it? The passage explains God commanded, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth” (Genesis 1:14-15). This is speaking, of course, about the sun, moon and stars.

 

As impressive as that was, biblical teaching about God and light was just beginning. The gospel of John opens by revisiting the Creation, declaring the preincarnate Christ was very much involved in it:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made. In Him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it” (John 1:1-4)

 

Jesus didn’t shy away from being compared to light. Speaking to a crowd in the temple courts that included teachers of the Jewish law and Pharisees, He underscored the concept: “When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life’” (John 8:12).

 

Later Jesus used a man who had been born blind as an object lesson while preparing to heal the person of his blindness. He told His disciples, “While I am in the world, I am the light of the world” (John 9:5). He came to bring light, physically and spiritually.

 

Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar room, perhaps in a hotel or the home of a friend, and tried to negotiate your way to the bathroom in the dark? An obvious solution is to turn on a light. Instantly the darkness is dispelled, and you can see the way clearly. In a far more profound way, sin and rebellion against God have plunged the world into spiritual darkness. Jesus, in declaring He is “the light of the world,” is the only remedy for this universal problem.

 

He knew His physical presence on earth was temporary. Forty days after His resurrection from the dead, Jesus ascended to heaven. In his stead, He left what we might call His “light brigade.” Speaking to a huge crowd during His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus announced to His followers, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16).

 

We aren’t The Light, but through our lives – our actions, words, the way we conduct our lives – we can be used by God to bring His light into our world filled with the darkness of unbelief, evil and hopelessness. As the apostle Paul wrote to Christ followers in ancient Corinth, a city notorious for its pagan practices: 

“The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God…. For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ” (2 Corinthians 4:4-6).

 

When Jesus ascended to heaven, He didn’t abandon us; He gave the Holy Spirit, who abides in every believer. Only in that way could “the Light of the World” pass along the responsibility for us to represent Him as “the light of the world.” We can’t create the Light – but like moons, we can reflect it!