Considering How You Would Want to Be Treated

We see it all too often: People berating a customer service associate or cashier. Students displaying disrespect to their teachers. Faceless individuals typing insults or mercilessly bullying others on social media. Protesters shouting epithets, sometimes engaging in acts of physical violence.  

TV commentators showing little patience or respect, shouting down each other’s statements and opinions. Athletes spitting on each other. In some cities, looters breaking into stores and carrying out goods of all kinds. Hostile politicians grandstanding to demonstrate opposition to the speaker.

 

The list could go on. Depending on who they happen to agree with, observers either applaud such actions or condemn them. A couple lines from the 1966 Vietnam-era protest song by Buffalo Springfield, “For What It’s Worth,” summarized what we’re still seeing 60 years later:

“There’s battle lines being drawn

Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong…

A thousand people in the street

Singing songs and a-carrying signs

Mostly say hooray for our side….”

 

Sound familiar? Why has our society come to this? What has spawned this age when incivility has become the norm; acrimony is viewed as acceptable, even commendable behavior; and common manners and decorum have been cast into the dumpster?

 

In a time when people across the political spectrum build arguments based on their own interpretations of “the rule of law,” it seems we’ve forgotten – or dismissed – a far greater rule. It’s what we commonly know as “the Golden Rule”: “In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12, Luke 6:31).

 

Jesus Christ addressed this in a variety of ways. Matthew 22:36-40 records an occasion when the Pharisees, religious leaders who prided themselves on external rules-keeping, asked, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Perhaps they presumed He would select a particular favorite from the Ten Commandments.

 

His response wasn’t what they expected. “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

 

The first is foundational for everything, but let’s focus on the second. Jesus’ words, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” were another way of saying, ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,’ as the King James Version translates it. The phrase is repeated elsewhere in the New Testament, including Romans 13:8-9, Galatians 5:14 and James 2:8. 

 

Unfortunately, the prevailing mindset these days seems very different, more like, “do to others before they can do it to you.” Do whatever you feel like doing; worry about the consequences later.

 

What does it actually mean to “do to others as you would have them do to you”? Maybe the best way to answer that is to look at the last part and ask, “How do you want others to treat you?”

 

Would you want people to politely hear and respect your opinions, even if they don’t agree with them? Whether in your home, at work or another setting, would you want someone to genuinely listen to what you had to say? If you were a teacher and had spent hours preparing the lesson for the day, would you want your students to be attentive and desiring to learn? 

 

Looking at it another way, if you were a sales associate in a department store, would you want someone angrily accosting you about some grievance, even if you had nothing to do with it? If you were a law enforcement officer, would you want folks throwing objects at you simply because you’d been assigned to that area to maintain order? If you owned a retail business, would you want people breaking windows and stealing everything within reach?

 

This brings to mind the adage attributed to native Americans about walking a mile in the moccasins of another individual. Doing to others as we would have them do to us involves putting ourselves in their place, trying to understand their needs and feelings, and responding appropriately.

 

Jesus’ parable about the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37) illustrates this perfectly. A man, a Jew, had been robbed and beaten, left for dead. Two upright religious leaders, a priest and a Levite, saw the man but moved to the other side of the road, acting as if they hadn’t noticed them. Obviously, they never considered what if they had suffered the same plight.

 

Then a Samaritan came along and even though Jews and Samaritans weren’t exactly bosom buddies in those days, he attended to the wounded man, took him to an inn nearby and promised to pay all expenses for his care. Whether he knew the commandment or not, the Samaritan literally did for another what he would have wanted someone to do for himself.

 

Years ago, people wore WWJD bracelets representing the question, “What would Jesus do?” Maybe we need to start wearing bracelets that read, DUOAYWHTDUY – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It could help to usher in a new season of civility and compassion.

What Better Standard for Treating One Another?

Several years ago, a friend recommended reading The Founders’ Bible: The Origin of the Dream of Freedom, compiled by historian David Barton and general editors Brad Cummings and Lance Wubbels. Along with the complete Bible in the New American Standard version, it contains hundreds of articles and extensive commentary about what our Founding Fathers thought about Christianity, the Bible, and their role in the shaping of our nation.

 

My family bought me a copy of The Founders’ Bible as a birthday present a couple years back, and I’m finally starting the enjoyable and enlightening process of reading through it. One commentary I came across recently concerned the “Golden Rule,” which Jesus Christ presented in Matthew 7:12, “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

This Bible’s contributors cited statements from several leaders that figured prominently in our nation’s history who affirmed that principle. One was John Adams, our second President and a signer of the Declaration of Independence, who said, “One great advantage of the Christian religion is that it brings the great principle [of the Golden Rule]…to the knowledge, belief, and veneration of the whole people.” 

 

Another was Frederick Douglas, a minister, statesman and abolitionist, who declared, “I love the religion of our blessed Savior!... I love that religion that is based upon the glorious principle of love to God and love to man (Luke 10:27) – which makes its followers do unto others as they themselves would be done by (Matthew 7:12).”

 

The commentary closed with the statement, “Today, two thousand years after Jesus initially delivered it to His followers, the Golden Rule remains the best standard for how we should treat one another.” Indeed, where – whether in vast realms of religion, philosophy, sociology or psychology – can we find a better standard for treating one another?

 

At the same time, this concept was not some brainstorm Jesus had 2,000 years ago during His earthly ministry. When asked – actually challenged – by a religious leader to specify which was the greatest of all commandments, He responded by referring to Old Testament teachings. 

 

He said, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:36, Luke 10:27). These were taken from Deuteronomy 6:5 and Leviticus 19:18, passages the Pharisees and others in the religious hierarchy of that day would have known very well.

 

While similar perspectives might appear in other belief systems, Christianity is unique in making these statements foundational for faithful belief and practice. Exodus 20:1-17 gives us the Ten Commandments, but in a wonderful economy of words, Jesus gave a clear and concise summation of them, the first four commandments addressing our relationship with God, and the subsequent six describing how we should interact with one another.

 

It's been said that in the seats of power, such as politics or business, there’s a very different “golden rule” espoused: “He who has the gold, rules.” But that’s not at all what the Lord had in mind when He gave this teaching to both His disciples and His detractors.

 

We find this truth permeating the Scriptures. We’re taught to fear God – holding Him in reverent, worshipful awe, acknowledging His greatness and power – and to love our “neighbors,” anyone we encounter over the course of our lives from day to day, even to the point of sacrificing our best interests so we can put others’ needs and concerns ahead of ourselves.

 

That’s what Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan is all about, even though as our society has drifted further and further from having the Word of God as its anchor, many people would be hard-pressed to identify where the term “good Samaritan” originated.

 

Imagine if by some miracle, people actually began treating other people the way that they themselves would want to be treated; that they actually started loving their fellow man and woman just as they’d like to be loved themselves, unconditionally and without reservation.

Indeed, if that were to be the case, we could probably strike half of the laws off the books – maybe more than that – and no one would ever know the difference.  

Tweet Unto Others As You Would Have Them Tweet Unto You

Social media. I have a definite love-hate relationship with it. Sites like Facebook, LinkedIn and even Twitter have been great for staying connected with people I don’t see on a regular basis, as well as reconnecting with folks I hadn’t seen or talked with for many years. What a way to quickly reach out to old friends! 

 

But the social media also have their dark side. Behind the safety of their screens and keyboards, some people use these forums to say things they would never think of speaking in public, especially face-to-face with their “targets.” No wonder our society has become increasing negative, even snarky. With the flick of a finger, people can bully or demean without fearing repercussions. And social media definitely  aren’t the place to conduct a civil discussion or debate.

Which leads me to the topic for today: Most of us are familiar with the so-called “golden rule.” And I don’t mean the one that goes, “He who has the gold, rules.” I’m referring to what Jesus taught in His “sermon on the mount,” as well as His response when religious leaders challenged Him, asking Him to specify which commandment in Jewish law He considered to be the greatest, or most important. 

 

Addressing a large crowd of His disciples, as well as many curious onlookers, Jesus was teaching about relationships, especially with those they would regard as enemies. He taught that instead of responding to their unkind or even evil treatment with the same kind of behavior, instead they should pray for them and, whenever possible, do good to them.

 

He said, in the King James translation I heard as a young person, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). That’s clear enough, but I like the way a popular paraphrase, The Message, expresses it: “Here is a simple, rule-of thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them” (Matthew 7:12).

 

Jesus also stated this principle another way. After asserting that the greatest commandment of all is, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” He added, “the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:37-39).

 

Imagine for a minute if, before they impulsively texted something hurtful, sent a nasty email, or crafted a nasty response to someone on a social medium like Facebook or Twitter, everyone paused long enough to consider, “Is this the kind of thing I would like others to say to me? Is this the way I’d want other people to treat me?” 

 

They could also check themselves by self-inquiring, “Is what I’m preparing to post (or text) a reflection of the love I have for myself – and what I’d like others to demonstrate to me?”

 

As I’ve read through the book of Proverbs, I’ve found many passages that concern how we communicate with one another. For instance: “Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips” (Proverbs 4:24). And Proverbs 11:12 states, “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.” 

 

Proverbs 12:18 affirms, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” I could cite dozens of other passages, in both the Old and New Testaments, but the one I think sums it up is Ephesians 4:25, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

 

Maybe, for communication’s sake, we should rephrase the Golden Rule to, “Tweet unto others as you would have them tweet unto you.” And if you think I’m preaching, even meddling, please know my No. 1 audience is myself.

What’s With Customer Service?

In the classic film, “Miracle on 34^th Street,” there’s a scene when Kris Kringle, Macy’s Department Store’s designated Santa Claus, tells a parent unable to find a gift for her child she should go to Gimbels Department Store instead. That’s a picture of what customer service is all about – even if it means sending a customer to a competitor.

I’ve been wondering what’s happened to this whole notion of customer service. At one time, too many salesmen in stores became pests, hovering nearby as you examined their merchandise at your leisure. Today, however, finding any sales associate is tantamount to finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. Often we even have to trudge across a store to make a purchase.

Several weeks ago I bought a new, expensive light bulb to replace one that had burned out in the range hood above our stove. Last week the replacement bulb burned out. So I went back to the name brand, big-box hardware store and exchanged it for another. The packaging for each of the new bulbs that matched mine was torn apart, so I purchased a different bulb a store associate stated would do the trick.

When I got home, however, I opened the intact packaging only to discover the new bulb was cracked in three places. So I returned to Name-Brand Hardware Store again, bought a bulb that seemed sound – no cracks – and brought it home. But this one didn’t work either. (Hint: When you pick up a bulb and you hear something that sounds like broken glass inside, it probably is.)

Lastly, for the second time in one week, the national newspaper I subscribe to – which is delivered every morning with the local daily paper – didn’t arrive. I called the newspaper’s circulation department, received the obligatory “I apologize” and “I’m sorry,” and was assured the periodical would be delivered by 3 p.m. As I write, it’s 4:30 – and still no national newspaper!

We read about the woes of the retail industry, citing declining sales and often decrying purchases made online rather than in stores. Is that any surprise, when retail institutions have cut service to the bone until it bleeds and we receive as much personalized attention on the Internet?

Years ago, entrepreneurs like J.C. Penney and Sam Walton built their businesses on genuine interest and concern for their customers, who felt valued and received help when needed. Penney and Walton were men of faith, undoubtedly motivated by biblical passages like, “do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12) and “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

Modern-day business, loosed from the moorings of a Judeo-Christian worldview, prefers a short-term, profit-centered approach. Customers are treated like cattle rather than valued assets that help the businesses to survive.

God actually set the best example. He took a “customer service” attitude when He sought to reconcile rebellious humankind to Himself. In Romans 5:8 we’re told, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” And Jesus declared in Mark 10:45, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Wow! If that’s not the ultimate in customer service, what is?

What HAS Happened to Civility?

This week USA Today asked, “What happened to civility?” In recent days, a congressman has disrupted a speech on health care reform by President Obama, calling him a “liar”; a rapper interrupted an award acceptance speech by a country-western singer because he disagreed with the choice; and two tennis stars berated match officials with expletive-laced tirades.

But the issue goes beyond such public moments. We live in an age when apparently if you disagree with someone, you have the right to shout them down. In workplaces we have lost our sense of politeness. If two people are meeting, we barge into their conversation because we are too impatient to wait our turn.

One person suggested the reason for growing rudeness and hostility in our society is because of a pervasive sense that “we don’t have power or even any say-so in what’s going on.” This may be true, but still doesn’t license us to adopt an “it’s all about me” attitude in daily interactions with others.

Perhaps it dates back to the 1960s, when many in my generation adopted the mantra, “Question authority!” To an extent, I agree with that – having a position of authority does not ensure being correct. But there are more appropriate, more civil ways of getting our point across.

Even if you disagree with some of Barack Obama’s views, doesn’t the office of President of the United States still deserve respect? Don’t award recipients deserve their moment? Don’t people in a work meeting deserve an opportunity to conclude their business before we butt in?

It goes back to the “Golden Rule”: “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31), also known as “the ethic of reciprocity.” How can we expect respect from others unless we insist on giving it to others?