What’s This Thing Called Love Really All About?

With another Valentine’s Day upon us, thoughts of love seem to be swirling everywhere. Which prompts us to wonder, what’s this love thing really all about?  

The old Burt Bacharach tune told us, “What the World Needs Now Is Love Sweet Love.” Aww! The Beatles seconded the motion with their song, “All You Need Is Love.” We had TV shows in days gone by, like “The Love Boat” and “Love: American Style”? The modernized versions are “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette,” and a slew of copycat productions. Everyone desperately in search of love. 

 

Love’s a simple four-letter word, yet so complex, with a broad range of meanings. In fact, the ancient Greeks understood the intricacies of love so well they created a number of words for it. For one, there was “eros,” referring to romantic love or sexual passion. The TV love shows, the Hallmark genre of movies, and theatrical rom-coms are mostly about this form of love – or lust.

But the Greeks understood there’s more to love than just hormones and touchy-feely emotions. “Philia” was used to describe deep friendship – brotherly love. “Storge” referred to love and affection, especially between parents and children. And then there was “agape,” the unconditional, selfless, sacrificial love that is central to the life of Jesus Christ and the Gospel.

 

There were other Greek words for other manifestations of love, but suffice it to say, there’s a whole lot more to love than warm fuzzies and physical attraction.

 

I’ve cited it before, but perhaps the best biblical description of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13. After declaring that without love we can seem like a “resounding gong” or “clanging cymbal,” that without love we are nothing and gain nothing, the passage explains what genuine love is:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:4-13).

 

As we read this list, we don’t find a love based on what someone can do for us; it’s about what we do on behalf of the person who’s the object of our love – demonstrating patience and kindness, selflessness, protection, trust, hopefulness, perseverance. Things like envy, pride, rudeness, anger, bitterness and holding grudges don’t qualify.

 

Ultimately, this love – agape – is manifested by the God we worship and serve. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Jesus expressed it this way: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). Then He proceeded to do just that, willingly giving His life on the cross to become the atoning sacrifice – the “propitiation,” theologians term it – for our sins.

 

When we read “God is love” (1 John 4:16), it embodies a lot more than the image of a grandfather-like deity looking down from on high, loving and accepting us no matter what. Because His love takes into account His holiness and righteousness, as well as all that it cost the Lord to extend His grace and mercy, forgiveness and adoption, to us. And as the passage from 1 Corinthians states, love doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

 

This isn’t to say Valentine’s Day and the romantic aspect of love should be discounted. Not at all. Or as the apostle Paul would have phrased it, “May it never be!” Looking at my wife, I still see my girlfriend, the beautiful woman who first caused my heart to flutter and skip beats so many years ago. I’m all about flowers, candy hearts, cute little cupids, and other happy traditions. 

 

However, our decades of marriage have taught us that enduring love, the kind that survives crises and disagreements and adversity in many forms, is more like 1 Corinthians 13 than the closing scenes of your favorite movie romance would have us believe.

 

If we want to know what love is really all about, we need to look to the God of the Bible. May we never forget, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). In that simple yet profound sentence, just two dozen words or so, we find the greatest “Valentine” gift ever offered!

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Today being Valentine’s Day, it seemed appropriate to write something about love. (Not that I’m an expert or anything – although I highly recommend it.)

The question is, what is love – really?

According to the media, entertainment industry, even our nation’s evolving culture, love is all about feeling. Something you fall into or fall out of, depending on your mood, the time of day, or the person you’re with at the moment.

Shows like “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” showcase a couple dozen attractive women (or men) throwing themselves at a willing member of the opposite sex. Everyone “falls in love” countless times during the progressing episodes in the series. If someone catches your eye and you feel a pleasant tingling in your “naughty bits” (as classical singer Katherine Jenkins termed it on “Dancing With the Stars”), you most definitely must be in love.

Of course, this idea’s hardly new. Years ago the TV sitcom “The Love Boat” (I called it “The Lust Boat”) assembled sexy-looking singles and over the course of a several-day cruise, many of them found “love.”

But is that what true love is all about – “You look good, you make me feel good, therefore I love you”?

Years ago I was a newspaper editor in Tomball, Texas. (If you’ve never heard of it, it’s a town about 30 miles north of Houston. Its name actually came from a fellow named Tom Ball.) Anyway, I joined the local Rotary Club to connect with some of the community’s movers and shakers.

One of the members – moving, but no longer doing much shaking – was a engaging old guy named Jimmy Tanner. He was Rotary’s self-proclaimed poet laureate, and every couple of weeks or so he’d regale us with a brief recitation of “poemtry.” One he offered frequently fits Valentine’s Day. According to Jimmy:

A song is not a song until it’s sung;

A bell is not a bell until it’s rung.

Now love wasn’t given in your heart to stay –

For love isn’t love ‘til you give it away.

There’s a lot of wisdom in those few words. Contrary to the prevailing notion that love is something you get, love should be something you give. I suppose that’s why 1 Corinthians 13 is so popular at marriage ceremonies, when idealistic notions of happily-ever-after momentarily overshadow the harsh realities of two becoming one.

The passage talks about love being patient and kind, not envious, boastful, prideful, rude, self-seeking, easily angered or keeping a record of wrongs. ”Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth,” it says. “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Elsewhere the Bible instructs, “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). What? Give yourself up? How restrictive; how intolerant! “Isn’t love supposed to be all about me – my wants, my needs, my happiness?”

Apparently not, according to the Scriptures. Otherwise it wouldn’t declare, “For God so loved that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

That, it seems to me, is what love is – really.