With another Valentine’s Day upon us, thoughts of love seem to be swirling everywhere. Which prompts us to wonder, what’s this love thing really all about?
The old Burt Bacharach tune told us, “What the World Needs Now Is Love Sweet Love.” Aww! The Beatles seconded the motion with their song, “All You Need Is Love.” We had TV shows in days gone by, like “The Love Boat” and “Love: American Style”? The modernized versions are “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette,” and a slew of copycat productions. Everyone desperately in search of love.
But the Greeks understood there’s more to love than just hormones and touchy-feely emotions. “Philia” was used to describe deep friendship – brotherly love. “Storge” referred to love and affection, especially between parents and children. And then there was “agape,” the unconditional, selfless, sacrificial love that is central to the life of Jesus Christ and the Gospel.
There were other Greek words for other manifestations of love, but suffice it to say, there’s a whole lot more to love than warm fuzzies and physical attraction.
I’ve cited it before, but perhaps the best biblical description of love is found in 1 Corinthians 13. After declaring that without love we can seem like a “resounding gong” or “clanging cymbal,” that without love we are nothing and gain nothing, the passage explains what genuine love is:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:4-13).
As we read this list, we don’t find a love based on what someone can do for us; it’s about what we do on behalf of the person who’s the object of our love – demonstrating patience and kindness, selflessness, protection, trust, hopefulness, perseverance. Things like envy, pride, rudeness, anger, bitterness and holding grudges don’t qualify.
Ultimately, this love – agape – is manifested by the God we worship and serve. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Jesus expressed it this way: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). Then He proceeded to do just that, willingly giving His life on the cross to become the atoning sacrifice – the “propitiation,” theologians term it – for our sins.
When we read “God is love” (1 John 4:16), it embodies a lot more than the image of a grandfather-like deity looking down from on high, loving and accepting us no matter what. Because His love takes into account His holiness and righteousness, as well as all that it cost the Lord to extend His grace and mercy, forgiveness and adoption, to us. And as the passage from 1 Corinthians states, love doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
This isn’t to say Valentine’s Day and the romantic aspect of love should be discounted. Not at all. Or as the apostle Paul would have phrased it, “May it never be!” Looking at my wife, I still see my girlfriend, the beautiful woman who first caused my heart to flutter and skip beats so many years ago. I’m all about flowers, candy hearts, cute little cupids, and other happy traditions.
However, our decades of marriage have taught us that enduring love, the kind that survives crises and disagreements and adversity in many forms, is more like 1 Corinthians 13 than the closing scenes of your favorite movie romance would have us believe.
If we want to know what love is really all about, we need to look to the God of the Bible. May we never forget, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). In that simple yet profound sentence, just two dozen words or so, we find the greatest “Valentine” gift ever offered!
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