Who Gave Discipline a Bad Name?

Being sports spectators gives us the advantage of being able to admire and appreciate the skills of athletes who have trained countless hours to excel. Watching the recent Summer Olympics, for example, we saw gymnasts performing an array of flips, tumbles, spins and other feats that would leave the rest of us with broken bones and torn muscles.

 

We saw pole vaulters soaring to amazing heights. Discus and hammer throwers hurling heavy weights incredible distances, executing powerful spins that would leave most of us in a dizzy heap. Sprinters blazing at world-record paces, and runners battling through fatigue and pain over distances we wouldn’t even attempt.

 

How do they become so accomplished in their various events? I think of the pro football player who was asked how the pregame practice had gone. “Practice?” the player asked in amazement. “We talkin’ about practice?” Yes, practice – lots of it – is how gifted athletes hone their talents to become champions.

 

However, there’s more to practice than just repetition. Even though it seems to have gone out of fashion in the minds of many, it’s discipline. It’s the determination and resolve to be unrelenting in the pursuit of excellence and mastery. It’s putting in countless hours repeating basic skills so they become second nature, executed without having to think about them. 

 

Consider the virtuoso pianist who, decades after having begun playing, still spends time practicing the scales to maintain finger dexterity and strengthen muscle memory. Many of us marvel, wishing we could play the piano with such skill. But the truth is, which of us would be willing to discipline ourselves to invest the innumerable hours needed to become so skilled?

 

Most of us will never be championship athletes, celebrated musicians, or elite surgeons or scientists. But that doesn’t mean we can’t benefit from discipline in our lives. Somewhere along the line, discipline received a bad name. As if it’s some contagious disease no one wants to catch.

 

Discipline and punishment are often regarded as synonymous, but they’re very different. Punishment is designed to address wrongful behavior; discipline is intended to train and equip people to do what’s right. 

 

These days many parents are reluctant or unwilling to discipline their children, thinking even toddlers have enough sense to recognize right from wrong. The fact is, they don’t. This is why Proverbs 22:6 admonishes, “Train [discipline] a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” The role of parents is to love their children and provide for their needs, but also to discipline – correct them when they’re off course and train them in how to live, think and behave properly.

 

But discipline isn’t only for children. It’s something we all need and should embrace. The Scriptures explain it’s one of God’s primary means for guiding and shaping us. In Proverbs, one of the Old Testament’s wisdom books, discipline is often mentioned. One chapter, Proverbs 19, offers three significant references:

“Discipline your son while there is still hope…” (Proverbs 19:18). There may be a time when it’s too late for sound correction. Don’t wait until then.

“Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days” (Proverbs 19:20). Rejecting well-intended discipline and godly counsel often leads to foolish decisions and regretful actions.

“Cease listening, my son, to discipline and you will stray from the words of knowledge” (Proverbs 19:27). Many a hard-headed individual has ignored discipline and correction and later had to face hard consequences.

 

Sometimes when we encounter adversity, we feel confused or angry. ‘Why is God doing this to me? Why’s He allowing this to happen?’ Before jumping to the conclusions that we’re being punished or that the Lord is mad at us for some reason, we need to consider what the Scriptures say about how He uses discipline in our lives:

 

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastens everyone He accepts as His son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as His children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined – and everyone undergoes discipline – then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who…disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in His holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:5-11).

 

Sometimes a parent will deny a child something he or she wants; other times the parent will insist that they do something they don’t want to do. “I’m doing this for your good. It’s because I love you,” the parent will say. At the time the child may think, ‘Yeah, right,’ only to realize later the parent in fact did it for his or her good. Sometimes the best demonstration of love is discipline.

 

God loves us far more than any parent could. He gave His one and only Son to die on a cross to redeem us from our sins (Romans 5:8). If that’s true, why shouldn’t we trust that when He disciplines us, it’s for our very best – part of His process for training and transforming us into the people He wants us to be.

 

And if we also desire to become who the Lord wants us to be, we must learn to discipline ourselves. There are many good ways of doing this, but one of the best is devoting consistent time to reading, studying, meditating on, memorizing and applying the Word of God. Like the professional athlete who practices until certain skills become second nature, we need to make the Scriptures central to our everyday lives so that over time they become second nature for our thinking and behavior.

 

Sometimes Good Might Not Be As Good As It Feels

“If it feels good, do it!” How many times have you heard this? It’s often repeated in our culture, and we might have said it ourselves or heard it from friends. As one popular song years ago declared, “How can it be wrong when it feels so right?”

The problem is, acting solely based upon how things feel can easily get us into trouble. Feelings can cloud our judgment or distort our thinking. Many years ago, I amassed a sizable credit card debt, largely the result of impulsive spending decisions that made me feel good. Then the bills started coming in. It took years to recover from the damage of being guided by my feelings.

 

I was on the interstate recently, driving the speed limit at a reasonable distance from other vehicles. Suddenly, a sportscar zoomed past me, moving at least 30 miles faster than I was going. The driver might have been feeling good, exhilarated by traveling at such a high rate of speed. But this was not the German autobahn, and the highway was filled with cars. If the driver’s delight in speed had resulted in a terrible accident, or even a costly citation, his or her feelings would have changed dramatically.

 

Leadership consultant Tim Kight has observed on social media: “Not everything that feels good is good for you. Not everything that is good for you feels good.” Lots of wisdom in a handful of words.

 

If a person struggles with alcohol, having “just one drink” might feel good, but it will probably lead to many more, along with undesired results. The sexual revolution of the 1960s became a major catalyst of the “if it feels good, do it” philosophy, but the negative consequences of casual one-night stands and “hooking up” have been immeasurable.

 

The second part of Kight’s statement is one we often overlook: Not everything that is good for you feels good. There’s perhaps no better example than discipline, whether it’s in learning a skill, military training, improving one’s health, or raising a child. 

 

If a person decides to get fit physically, a first step might be to adopt a training regimen and plan regular trips to the gym. I’m not a top athlete by any means, but following my open-heart surgery in 2006, I began a cardiac rehab program and have tried to maintain a consistent workout program ever since. My motto is, “I hate to exercise – but I love to have exercised.” Exercise always looks better in past tense.

 

Have you ever said something like, “I wish I could play the piano,” or “I’d love to learn how to paint in watercolor”? A reason many people can’t do things like that is because they don’t feel like going through the tedium of spending many hours practicing or learning the craft.

 

Discipline seems to have become a neglected aspect of parenting. Rather than giving their children guidelines for behavior and then enforcing those when necessary, a mom or dad might decide instead to let little Buddy or Suzy make their own choices, even though they might not be old enough to determine what’s best for themselves. 

 

In the Bible, however, we find that discipline is not optional – it’s a mandatory, essential part of growth and training. And the Scriptures clearly acknowledge the reality that discipline often doesn’t feel good, even if it’s good for us.

 

The book of Proverbs alone contains more than 30 verses related to the importance of discipline and correction. Here are some examples:

“He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray” (Proverbs 10:17).

“He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding” (Proverbs 15:32).

“He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him” (Proverbs 13:24). 

“Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul” (Proverbs 29:17).

 

Discipline, the Scriptures teach, is an integral part of God’s spiritual training program for us. It’s also a demonstration of His love. Hebrews 12:9-11 makes the connection between human and divine discipline and correction:

“Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:9-11).

 

Many times, life’s trials and tribulations serve as a form of discipline, experiences God uses to mold us into the people He intends for us to become. Unfortunately, going through adversity rarely feels good.

 

Peter the apostle noted this when he wrote, “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine…” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

 

So, the next time you find yourself thinking, “If it feels good, do it,” think again. And if something you’re going through doesn’t feel good, take heart – maybe there’s a good reason for it.