Sometimes Good Might Not Be As Good As It Feels

“If it feels good, do it!” How many times have you heard this? It’s often repeated in our culture, and we might have said it ourselves or heard it from friends. As one popular song years ago declared, “How can it be wrong when it feels so right?”

The problem is, acting solely based upon how things feel can easily get us into trouble. Feelings can cloud our judgment or distort our thinking. Many years ago, I amassed a sizable credit card debt, largely the result of impulsive spending decisions that made me feel good. Then the bills started coming in. It took years to recover from the damage of being guided by my feelings.

 

I was on the interstate recently, driving the speed limit at a reasonable distance from other vehicles. Suddenly, a sportscar zoomed past me, moving at least 30 miles faster than I was going. The driver might have been feeling good, exhilarated by traveling at such a high rate of speed. But this was not the German autobahn, and the highway was filled with cars. If the driver’s delight in speed had resulted in a terrible accident, or even a costly citation, his or her feelings would have changed dramatically.

 

Leadership consultant Tim Kight has observed on social media: “Not everything that feels good is good for you. Not everything that is good for you feels good.” Lots of wisdom in a handful of words.

 

If a person struggles with alcohol, having “just one drink” might feel good, but it will probably lead to many more, along with undesired results. The sexual revolution of the 1960s became a major catalyst of the “if it feels good, do it” philosophy, but the negative consequences of casual one-night stands and “hooking up” have been immeasurable.

 

The second part of Kight’s statement is one we often overlook: Not everything that is good for you feels good. There’s perhaps no better example than discipline, whether it’s in learning a skill, military training, improving one’s health, or raising a child. 

 

If a person decides to get fit physically, a first step might be to adopt a training regimen and plan regular trips to the gym. I’m not a top athlete by any means, but following my open-heart surgery in 2006, I began a cardiac rehab program and have tried to maintain a consistent workout program ever since. My motto is, “I hate to exercise – but I love to have exercised.” Exercise always looks better in past tense.

 

Have you ever said something like, “I wish I could play the piano,” or “I’d love to learn how to paint in watercolor”? A reason many people can’t do things like that is because they don’t feel like going through the tedium of spending many hours practicing or learning the craft.

 

Discipline seems to have become a neglected aspect of parenting. Rather than giving their children guidelines for behavior and then enforcing those when necessary, a mom or dad might decide instead to let little Buddy or Suzy make their own choices, even though they might not be old enough to determine what’s best for themselves. 

 

In the Bible, however, we find that discipline is not optional – it’s a mandatory, essential part of growth and training. And the Scriptures clearly acknowledge the reality that discipline often doesn’t feel good, even if it’s good for us.

 

The book of Proverbs alone contains more than 30 verses related to the importance of discipline and correction. Here are some examples:

“He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray” (Proverbs 10:17).

“He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding” (Proverbs 15:32).

“He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him” (Proverbs 13:24). 

“Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul” (Proverbs 29:17).

 

Discipline, the Scriptures teach, is an integral part of God’s spiritual training program for us. It’s also a demonstration of His love. Hebrews 12:9-11 makes the connection between human and divine discipline and correction:

“Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:9-11).

 

Many times, life’s trials and tribulations serve as a form of discipline, experiences God uses to mold us into the people He intends for us to become. Unfortunately, going through adversity rarely feels good.

 

Peter the apostle noted this when he wrote, “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine…” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

 

So, the next time you find yourself thinking, “If it feels good, do it,” think again. And if something you’re going through doesn’t feel good, take heart – maybe there’s a good reason for it. 

An ‘Outdated’ Virtue We Should Recapture

Although I never served in the military, my father served for more than 22 years, so I’ve always said he served enough time for us both. Growing up as an Army brat, I gained an appreciation for many of the principles that embody effective military service. One of them is discipline.

We’ve all seen on TV or in the movies the images of boot camps where new enlistees are trained to follow orders, whether it’s marching in step, standing at attention, dressing sharply, making their bed every morning according to rigid specifications, and many others. As much as anything, these are designed to teach discipline. In wartime there’s no place for individuality; it’s all for one, one for all.

We see the same on display for championship sports teams. The best teams feature athletes who understand their respective roles and work together. Understanding that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Even star players must rely on the support of their teammates, and that calls for discipline.

So it’s sometimes dismaying to see the precipitous decline of discipline in our society today. Parents who refuse to discipline their children, explaining, “I want them to learn to make their own decisions.” When they’re two or three years old? Come on! Seriously? As a result, we see whining kiddos in the grocery store, annoying everyone around them while the parent scans the shelves, apparently oblivious to the commotion “little Billy” is creating.

And it doesn’t get better as they get older. Teachers report about the chaos in their classrooms and inability to manage them because they haven’t learned such things as respect, self-control, attentiveness and being quiet. Judging from video clips I’ve seen of students on college campuses, it only gets worse.

Discipline, we are led to believe, is outdated and restrictive. Certainly not in line with “Me Generation” thinking. However, it’s something the Bible addressed thousands of years ago and I believe it remains crucial for 21^stcentury living. Especially with so many distractions vying for our attention, we desperately need discipline just to keep on track.

For instance, Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us, “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves as a father the son he delights in.” Could it be that parents refusing to properly discipline a child are lacking in love, that they would rather avoid the hard work and inconvenience of having to say “No” or insisting that rules be followed?

Another passage, Proverbs 22:6, admonishes parents, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” This doesn’t necessarily say that if we take our children to church regularly and teach them to pray, this guarantees they will be lifelong followers of Jesus Christ. It does literally mean to teach them to follow their natural bent, to determine how God designed them so they can enjoy fruitful, rewarding lives. (Hopefully following Jesus will be a part of that.)

Consider a grapevine that is regularly pruned for greater fruitfulness, and attached to fencing or stakes so it will grow properly. Jesus referred to this when He said, “I am the vine, and my Father is the gardener (vinedresser). He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:1-2).

To the uninitiated, the idea of cutting back or pruning a vine, a rosebush, hydrangeas or other plants seems counter-productive. But for experienced gardeners it makes absolute sense because they know the process stimulates future growth and health.

Years ago I heard Dr. Bruce Wilkinson, author of Secrets of the Vine,explain the difference between discipline and punishment from God’s perspective. Both can feel the same, he said, causing discomfort or even some pain, but their purpose is very different. Discipline – pruning – is designed to correct us and cause us to grow the right way spiritually, while punishment is executing judgment for wrongs. 

The writer of Hebrews expressed it succinctly: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons…. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:5-11).

So why don’t we recapture this virtue of discipline, whether for training our children, for mastering a vocation or craft, or most important, for growing into the followers of Jesus Christ that God intends for us to be?