Having Achieved Independence, Let’s Revisit Dependence

We’ve just concluded celebrations of Independence Day and the 250^th anniversary of our nation’s founding. Independence, in many ways, has been a marvelous thing, not only for us as a country but also as individuals. Freedom is truly a blessing. However, as we enter the 251^st year of the United States, with no certainty about what the future may hold, it might be wise to recognize in some respects dependence isn’t a bad thing.

 

I’m not suggesting that we restore a dependent relationship with Great Britain. (My fake British accent is terrible.) But even though a “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” philosophy has provided great motivation for many of our nation’s great achievers – whether explorers, settlers, farmers, inventors or entrepreneurs – we’re still dependent on others for our success.

 

This isn’t a message we often hear in our society. Napoleon Hill, in his 1937 book, Think and Grow Rich, emphasized individuality and independence in a statement that has shown amazing endurance over the decades since: “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” That declaration epitomized the so-called “American Dream,” that if a person works hard, he or she can achieve their wildest dreams. But tell that to a six-foot-five man who weighs 250 pounds. His dream of being the winning jockey in the Kentucky Derby is as probable as seeing a hippopotamus fly.

 

A corollary to Hill’s slogan is, “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” It sounds clever, it rhymes, and it resonates with our natural bent toward self-centeredness. But in truth it’s not that simple. Every achievement requires some level of dependency.

 

Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. Abbott had Costello. The best race car driver can’t win without the pit crew. The best wide receiver in football can’t do anything without the quarterback throwing him the ball. The best chef in the world can’t create a world-class meal without the people that grow, raise and produce the necessary ingredients. And the old song reminded us, “It takes two to tango.”

 

Nowhere is dependency more essential than in growing spiritually. Yet this is exactly where some of us insist on trying to demonstrate our independence. I know, because I’ve tried it – and failed miserably. People say, “You just have to have faith,” and then proceed as if there’s no God at all, as if everything weighs on their own shoulders.

 

But Jesus Christ said just the opposite: “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29). He was evoking the image of two oxen yoked together, pulling a wagon or a plow. They share a load neither could pull on its own. The same is true spiritually. When the Lord calls us to do something, we’re to do our part but He doesn’t ask or expect us to operate independently from Him.

 

Elsewhere Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). The apostle Paul, in reviewing the various circumstances he had experienced in life – good and bad – affirmed that truth: “I can do everything through Him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

 

There have been times when I thought I knew exactly what God wanted me to do and set out to do it – without consulting Him or seeking His direction. Only after spinning my wheels or finding myself at a dead-end did I remember, “Oh, yeah. I can’t do this without the Lord!”

 

To live the so-called “Christian life” also requires that we learn to value and utilize the strength of other believers. One of the best passages about this is Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, which says:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work;

If one falls down, his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered; two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

 

Everything is easier when the workload is shared, whether it’s cooking a meal, making a bed, handling finances, or navigating through the many challenges of life. And growing in our faith isn’t intended to be pursued in solitude. As Proverbs 27:17 observes, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” A good friend used to say, “We should all be mentored mentors.”

 

There are those who think they can survive and thrive in their journey of faith without the aid of others, but from the beginning that wasn’t God’s intent. After creating the first man, Adam, the Lord concluded, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). That remains true today.

 

The writer of Hebrews recognized the importance of having support from others as we strive to know and serve God and His people: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:23-25).

“The Day” is the promised second coming of Christ. No one knows when that will be, but each day we’re closer to it. Independence has its benefits, but when Jesus returns we want to “be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58). To accomplish that, we need to depend on one another – and especially on Him. 

Are We Overlooking the Greater Pandemic?

Can you remember back about two years, when none of us had ever heard of the coronavirus? Thoughts of COVID-19 had never crossed our minds. These days, however, the latest pandemic developments dominate newspaper and TV news coverage. We can’t escape the frightening reports. At the same time, as this global crisis continues, I wonder if there’s an even greater “pandemic” that’s getting no attention.

 

I’m referring to a problem that actually began building long before the first words about the virus were uttered – the pandemic of loneliness. One example is social media and how it has come to dominate many of our lives. They have created an artificial environment when we can have hundreds – even thousands – of “friends” and still be desperately lonely because we have no one with whom to talk and confide on a deep, personal level.

 

We’ve been bombarded by the statistics about COVID-19 deaths and the millions of other confirmed cases. But the realities about the impact of shutdowns, work stoppages and social isolation have not received nearly as much notice. People who regularly received support and fellowship from church, as well as other social activities, have understandably felt alone, even abandoned.

Suicides, drug overdoses, domestic violence and emotional breakdowns have escalated dramatically. It would be overly simplistic to blame those solely on the pandemic, but experts confirm it has been a very significant factor in the alarming increase of these and other social ills.

 

From the first moments of creation, God has underscored the importance of relationships. Referring to the eternally existing Trinity, Genesis 1:26 says, “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth….’” And soon after He formed the first human, the Lord said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).

 

Granted, some people are more sociable than others. Extroverts, by nature, need to be around people to remain energized while introverts – like me – prefer our interactions with others in smaller doses. But we all need to be around other folks to remain mentally, emotionally and even spiritually healthy.

 

Social media can be useful, but only to a limited degree. According to Facebook, I have more than 1,000 “friends,” but most of them I’ve never met in person. I could probably pass many of them on the street and not recognize them. And I wouldn’t want to have 1,000 real friends with whom I interact on a regular basis – who has time for that?

 

But we do need friends, including but not limited to family members. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 tells us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

 

Proverbs 27:17 expresses a similar sentiment: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Imagine attempting to sharpen a knife blade without something to hone it. Some of my most enjoyable times at work occurred when a small group of us gathered and engaged in creative friction.

 

The need to do whatever we can to escape the plague of loneliness is even more critical spiritually. One of my favorite passages concerning this is Hebrews 10:24-25, which admonishes, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” 

 

During His earthly ministry, Jesus probably could have been a loner, walking from town to city by Himself, but He chose to select followers. This was in part to train them for carrying on His work after His death, resurrection and ascension. However, being both fully God and fully man, I suspect even Jesus needed the companionship and daily interactions. He often recruited them by simply saying, “Come and you will see” and “Follow Me” (Matthew 1:35-51).

 

It's important to recognize our own need for personal interactions that go far deeper than comments and “likes” on social media, even during a global health crisis that has impeded many of us from spending time with one another as we have in the past. We should also be sensitive to the needs of others, especially folks in places like nursing homes and hospitals, who might feel forgotten and unwanted. 

Recently I found an apt observation by Charles Ringma in his book, Dare to Journey with Henri Nouwen. He writes, “We are called to serve the world in which we live. Such serving is not simply a matter of techniques. It is also a matter of personal encounter. It is a matter of drawing close. It is a matter of care.” Think about that.