Adoption – An Important But Often-Ignored Option

January is “Sanctity of Human Life Month,” with the annual March for Life scheduled for Jan. 23 in Washington, D.C. The theme of this year’s march: “Life is a Gift.” The pro-life/pro-choice debate has been raging since the early 1970s. Even with Roe v. Wade being overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2022, this issue is far from settled. Abortions are still performed in many states.

With so many facets to the arguments, both pro and con, it’s impossible to compress them into simple summaries. Highly charged emotions on both sides rival and even exceed rational considerations. That doesn’t mean, however, there’s no value in presenting perspectives that might be helpful.

 

Like everyone, I’ve got my own point of view. But observing how the national and local media cover the ongoing controversy over abortion, I can’t help hearkening back to my journalistic studies in college many years ago. Back then, foundational principles for reporting the news were emphasized: Being objective, fair, and balanced in what and how news events are covered. These were ideals I aspired to during my decade as a newspaper editor.

 

Unfortunately, those virtues have largely been cast aside in favor of advocacy reporting, selectively choosing to use or not to use information based upon the agenda of the reporter or news organization. I regard it as “skewed news,” shaping information to advance a preferred, very subjective narrative.

 

Getting back to the abortion debate, among the numerous pro-abortion arguments we often hear is “my body, my choice.” A woman finds herself with an unwanted pregnancy. Regardless of the circumstances, she’s facing up to nine months of carrying an unborn child she doesn’t want. ‘Why not terminate it and get on with my life?’ For her, it seems like a decision that affects her alone. Except that’s not true. 

 

Much could be said in response to the “my body, my choice” stance, but let’s focus on one very viable but oft-ignored alternative to abortion: Adoption. Yes, the pregnant woman still must give birth, but adoption relieves her of the responsibility of motherhood if she doesn’t want that. And from the moment a child is adopted, it begins having an impact on other lives in ways we couldn’t even imagine.

 

In our immediate family we have three individuals who were adopted, whose birth mothers had the courage to allow their babies to enter the world and then offer them to good, loving homes.

 

One is a son-in-law, now in his 50s, who lives in another state. Today he’s married, has two daughters and two sons-in-law of his own, two of them being first responders, along with two energetic grandsons. Being the owner of two businesses, over the years he has employed hundreds of people. Through the businesses, he has served many clients, operating with high integrity and commitment to quality. And he and his wife are actively involved in their community in a variety of ways, touching many lives directly and indirectly.

 

His adoptive parents raised him with much love, and some years ago he was able to meet not only his birth mother but also her other children – his half-siblings. She was thrilled to discover what a fine person he had become. Can you see how that one decision to give birth rather than to abort, certainly not a simple one, has made a difference in the lives of hundreds of people? There’s a term for this – the “butterfly effect” – a singular action or decision having an incalculable impact.

 

We also have two adopted grandsons, both sources of great joy for our family. Our daughter and son-in-law – like countless couples across America – were unable to have children biologically. After exploring every possible avenue with no success, they chose to adopt. Again, this meant two other women had to make the selfless, courageous decision: Not to abort an unborn child but to give birth so a couple they didn’t know could adopt him. I can attest that lives beyond number have been influenced because our grandsons were given the gift of life.

 

This isn’t just a matter of human morality. It’s a decision of divine magnitude. Psalm 139:13-16 expresses this well:

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb,

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you…Your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were created in Your book

Before one of them came to be.”

 

Even in the womb, God knows and cares for us, already making special, unique plans for each of us. This is reason enough to advocate for the unborn. As it says in Proverbs 24:11-12, “Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, ‘But we knew nothing about this,’ does not He who weighs the heart perceive it?”

 

Reading the gospels we see Jesus Christ’s special interest in children, reaching out to young ones that others saw as having little value or importance. He admonished, “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of My Father in heaven" (Matthew 18:10).

 

There’s one other biblical perspective on adoption worth considering. Adopting a child provides a metaphor for how God brings people into His eternal family as His children. Ephesians 1:5-6 tells us, “He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will – to the praise of His glorious grace which He has freely given us in the One He loves.” 

 

Numerous other passages address this, but one of my favorites is Romans 8:15, which talks about our spiritual rebirth: “For you have not received a spirit of bondage again to fear, but you have received the Spirit of divine adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba, Father!’”

 

What a beautiful picture this is when a woman confronting an unwanted pregnancy chooses to give the unborn child the gift of life, then enables a loving couple to bring that child into their family, beginning a chain of events that will have an unimaginable, even eternal impact on many other people.

Heartfelt Appreciation – in the Most Literal Sense

This time of year, I observe an anniversary of sorts. On Dec. 20, 2006, I experienced a literal heart-rending moment. I underwent open-heart surgery to fix an aortic aneurysm and correct several arterial blockages. I spent that Christmas in the hospital recuperating, away from my family’s festivities, but I could rejoice that I was still around.

 

Eighteen years later, thanks to God, a skillful surgeon and excellent cardiologists, I’m still writing, reading, exercising, taking photos, playing a little pickleball – and most important, getting to spend time with my wife, our children, grandchildren and great-grands.

 

Procedures like I had aren’t all that rare. I’ve talked with a number of people in the years since, sharing my experiences and encouraging them, whether they were preparing for similar surgery or had just undergone surgery. That doesn’t mean the procedure is easy. It’s a major operation, one of the most serious a person can go through, and the recovery is slow and time-consuming.

 

Every morning upon waking up I recognize the new day is a gift – undeserved – and I can pray along with the psalmist, “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).

 

Almost every day we hear of someone who has had a heart attack, but I suspect most of us take for granted the amazing muscle that beats non-stop during our entire lifetime, keeping blood pulsing through our bodies. 

 

A normal resting heart rate for adults ranges from 60 to 100 beats per minute. Let’s say your own heart rate is 72 per minute. That means in one hour, your heart beats 4,320 times. During a 24-hour day, it beats more than 100,000 times. Over the course of an entire year, it beats nearly 38 million times. That’s hard to comprehend.

 

Simple calculation tells me that in the 18 years since my surgery, my heart has beat well over 600 million times! That is, except for the brief time I was on a heart-lung machine, allowing my heart to stop so my cardiothoracic surgeon could make the necessary repairs – including an entirely new ascending aorta. Again, thankfully when the work was completed, my heart resumed beating upon being taken off the heart-lung apparatus.

 

I recall that in the days leading up to the surgery, I turned to the Psalms for comfort and assurance. One particular verse jumped out at me, as if it were printed in neon lights. It read, “The Lord will sustain him on his bed of illness and restore him from his bed of sickness” (Psalm 41:3). I encountered that passage during my regular daily reading; even if God had spoken it to me audibly it couldn’t have been clearer – or reassuring.

 

That experience has confirmed for me, more than ever, of the truth of Psalm 139:13-14, “For You created my inmost being…. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

 

Think about it: Every six months or so (if not more often), we need to bring our cars in for oil changes and other maintenance. The average car doesn’t last more than 10 years. Most appliances have an even shorter lifespan. Many buildings are erected only to be torn down 20-30 years later. But God has created our bodies in such a way that our hearts continue beating non-stop for 60, 70, 80 years – or even longer. And most of the time, without requiring invasive surgery to correct maladies.

 

We could make similar reflections about other vital organs, but the point is that in the human body the Lord created a marvelous organism that all of our ingenuity – even with its many advancements – cannot begin to replicate, much less make from scratch.

 

I’m eternally grateful to God for giving medical science the wisdom and skill to keep me ‘upright and taking nourishment,’ as they say, all these years since. It’s not a journey I would recommend for everyone, but if and when it becomes necessary, we worship a Great Physician who has put us together and knows how to fix us so we can keep going.

 

In 2 Timothy 4:7, the apostle Paul wrote to his young protégé, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” It seems my race is not yet finished, but my prayer is that in the days, months and even years to come, I will stay true to my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and when the time comes for my heart to beat for the last time, I will have finished well. I also pray that all who read this will be able to say the same.

It’s Uncanny What a Pelican Can Do That We Cannot

What’s your favorite bird? The cardinal, with its bright red plumage? Or the blue jay, another crested specimen in an equally beautiful blue? How about the wobbly-walking penguin, with its tuxedo-like color scheme? Or the stately bald eagle, appropriately chosen as a symbol of American pride and grandeur?

Perhaps your choice would lean toward a more domesticated variety, like a parakeet, canary, cockatoo, or even a parrot. My personal favorite? As was reaffirmed during a recent trip to Daytona Beach, Fla., it’s the pelican. What? That ugly bird? Well, yeah, but not because it has a face only a momma bird could love.

Over the years I’ve observed pelicans at a variety of beaches on Florida’s Atlantic and Gulf coasts. Each time I’ve been amazed by these skillful fish hunters. They can seem so unpresentable up close – at least when compared to their feathery counterparts, like gulls, puffins, gannets, petrels and terns. (Did you know that one good tern deserves another?) And yet, when flying in formation, gliding along the wind currents as they soar effortlessly overhead, they collectively become a thing of beauty.

 

To me, pelicans provide a powerful visual metaphor for how we must look to God. Ephesians 2:10 declares that we are “God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” However, in His holiness and righteousness, we must sometimes look anything but glowing examples of His workmanship.

 

Earlier in the same chapter it states, “As for you, you were dead in your trespasses and sin, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world…gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts…” (Ephesians 2:1-3). Not a very pretty picture; as such, we appeared to be anything but being godly, created in the image of God, as Genesis 1:27 tells us.

 

And yet, to return to the example of Mr. Pelican, he’s been created specially and specifically by God: Beady eyes that work perfectly for spotting fish far above the surface of the water. Its mouth equipped with muscles to pull the flexible lower jawbones outward to form a large pouch suited for catching and transporting its fishy prey. And wings that not only propel it quickly over the water, but also enable it to soar far overhead. 

 

Relating this wondrous design to humans, God’s consummate creation, we can recognize that just as He devised a unique design for the humble pelican, He also has a purposeful, one-of-a-kind design for each of us. As Psalm 139:13-14 reminds us, “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made….”

 

When we are doing what the Lord created us to do, whether it’s raising children, giving a speech, tending to the sick, teaching students, starting a new business, writing a book or dancing on a stage, the Lord must marvel at us with delight. We become transformed, flaws and foibles unseen, like the gawky-looking pelican flying aloft with others in formations that would rival that of precision-piloted jet fighters.

 

As God declares in Isaiah 43:6-7, “…Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth – everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” When we’re engaged in pursuits the Lord has prepared for us, we have the privilege of bring Him honor and glory.

 

Speaking of how He revels in turning the hearts of His rebellious children back to Him, God says, “When they see among them their children, the work of my hands, they will keep my name holy; they will acknowledge the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob and stand in awe of the God of Israel” (Isaiah 29:23).

We might not be capable of soaring high above, carried about by the winds, or diving swiftly into the ocean to capture fish in our mouths. (I’m kind of glad we can’t do the latter.) But when we go to work as ambassadors of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20); or train up our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6); or love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31), I suspect we bring even more joy to the heart of God. 

Belated Appreciation for Moms Everywhere

Since I write my blog posts at least a couple of weeks in advance, I usually try to consult my calendar for significant holidays or remembrances coming up that I should acknowledge. Well, I must admit this practice lapsed recently – I failed to take note that Mother’s Day was coming up.

 

So first of all, I want to wish a belated happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. In the nation’s capital we have a memorial to the “unknown soldier,” but if there were a statue for unsung heroes, mothers would have to featured prominently.

As a father and grandfather, I have some understanding of kids. But like all other men, I can’t fully comprehend what it means to be a mom. Not only the pregnancy part, the nine months of carrying a little life in the womb until it’s ready to present itself to the outside world – even though that’s very significant in its own right. 

 

I’m thinking of the unique bond mothers have with their children, being there when little Jimmy or Jeannie falls and suffers an “owie.” Running to the rescue when a child awakens from a nightmare. Transforming into a nurse when the little one gets sick. Going the extra mile to provide for whatever the child needs, whether it’s help with homework, washing clothes, or even teaching how to tie shoes. (Some kids still do have shoes that tie, don’t they? Ones without Velcro?)

 

Yes, fathers can do many of these things, too. Hopefully I’ll address that in June. But there’s something about a mom that a dad can’t replicate. When there’s a single-parent home, the majority of the time that parent is called Mom, Mommy or Mama. I can’t even imagine the sacrifice many mothers make, not only to be present to tend to their children’s needs, but also to work more than one job to make ends meet.

 

My mom passed away more than 45 years ago to heart disease. Many wonderful experiences with her are hidden deep in my memory bank, but I can still recall some of the ways she tried to encourage me. 

 

She, not my dad, was the one to first play catch with me so I could at least become a mediocre Little League ballplayer. When I was ill and stayed home from school, I could count on her to run out and buy comic books for me. I still remember the LPs she would play of old religious songs by the likes of Tennessee Ernie Ford, Perry Como and others. (I know some of you are probably thinking, “Who?”) I suspect some of the first seeds of my spiritual journey were sown as I heard those melodies.

 

If I have a regret in my relationship with my mother, it’s that once I started college, I became fiercely independent from her, determined to “cut the apron strings.” I’m sure she would have liked for me to call much more than I did, leaving her wondering – and worrying – about what was going on in my life. Yes, it was in the days before cellphones and there was actually a charge for every phone call; but I still could have done better. Sadly, it’s too late to say I’m sorry for having been so self-absorbed.

 

Ephesians 6:1-3 makes a stunning declaration about how we should relate to both our moms and dads. It says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ – which is the first commandment with a promise – ‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’” I wonder how many sons and daughters, failing to observe this command, are not realizing the fulfillment of this promise?

 

Today our nation is facing a great conflict which, at its heart, concerns the privileges – and pressures – of motherhood. The U.S. Supreme Court is reportedly on the verge of announcing a critical decision regarding abortion and the 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling. Some will simplify this issue as “a woman’s right to her own body” or “women’s reproductive rights.” However, even though I’m not a mom, I think it’s fair to state it is much more than that.

 

Psalm 139:13-14 declares, “For you [God] created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb; I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” God, according to His sovereign will, chose to have women serve as the holy instruments in which He would take a sperm and egg and fashion them into a special, uniquely gifted human being. Some see this as a terrible burden, but to the Lord, it’s intended as a blessing beyond description.

 

This idea is not confined to a single psalm. Speaking to Jacob and His people Israel, and extending this assurance to people even in the 21^st century, God said, “Thus says the Lord who made you and formed you from the womb, who will help you, ‘Do not fear, O Jacob My servant…. I will pour out My Spirit on your offspring and My blessing on your descendants…’” (Isaiah 44:1-8).

If you’re a mom, Mother’s Day may have passed, but the incredible and awesome calling God has placed on your life remains. He has entrusted you will the care of a child – or children – for whom He has a very special plan. Thank you for the unique, wondrous role that only you can play in their lives! 

All Are Created Equal – But Not Identical

There’s a lot being said these days about equality and “equity.” I used to think the latter term was referring to the amount of money my house would be worth if I sold it. That’s the thing about language; it’s dynamic and always taking on new meanings and uses.

 

When I think of equality, the words from the Declaration of Independence come to mind; “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among them are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness….”

Unfortunately, in my opinion, the term “equality” has been hijacked and given a sense very different from what our Founding Fathers intended. I believe the words “created equal” related to being afforded equal opportunity. For some, however, they understand those words now to mean equal outcomes – something very different.

 

Consider this: At a university, one student attends every class, completes every assignment, studies diligently for all of the quizzes, tests and exams, and earns an A-plus. Another student goes to class occasionally, when she doesn’t find any more appealing options. She only does some of the assignments – you need time for fun, right? Once in a while she crams for a test, but for the most part presumes she can get by with only a minimum of effort. As a result, she is awarded with a C-minus.

 

Both students had the same opportunity, but only one took full advantage of it. Would it be fair to give both students an A? Or what if the fruits of their labor – or lack of it – were averaged together and both were given a final grade of B? Would that be fair?

 

That, I believe, is the difference between equality and equity. Both being given equal opportunity, but neither being guaranteed an equal outcome. “Pursuit” of happiness does not promise achieving it.

 

Where does the whole notion of being “created equal” come from, anyway? Throughout human history there have been the haves and the have-nots: caste systems, such as exist to this day in some nations; feudalism, in which the nobility (lords) ruled over the peasants (serfs); slavery, in which one group – even of the same race and color – owns and controls members of another group. Something that exists to this day in some parts of the world.

 

Many students of history point out that the idea of equality, as it’s traditionally understood, was born out of Christianity and Judeo-Christian thought. For instance, the oft-quoted Psalm 139:14-16 declares, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well…. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

 

This passage states we indeed were created by God, planned and formed in the womb, but also implies a uniqueness. That we created equally by the Lord, but not identical. In fact, Isaiah 64:8 says, “But now, Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our potter, and all of us are the work of Your hand.” 

 

Just as a potter using clay doesn’t always create the same pot over and over, our heavenly Father molds and fashions us into unique, special creations for His divine purposes. That’s why some people have wonderful singing voices or resonant speaking voices; some are gifted artists or writers, while others are mechanically inclined; some are drawn to the field of medicine, while others are accountants, teachers, law enforcement officers, or entrepreneurs.

 

Growing up in New Jersey, I was a New York Yankees fan and used to daydream about becoming the next Mickey Mantle or Yogi Berra. The only problem was, I wasn’t fast or quick, not especially strong, couldn’t hit a baseball well, was only average in catching it, and was very lacking in other important athletic attributes. No matter how hard I might have tried, I never would have made it to center field or behind home plate at Yankee Stadium. It just wasn’t in God’s plan for me.

 

The challenge is trying to discover who we are – who God created us to be – and to learn to be the very best we can be at that. No sense in arguing, saying, “Why couldn’t that be me, Lord?” As the apostle Paul admonished in Romans 9:20-21, “But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’ Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?”

So, I see no point in begrudging the fact that I’m not rich like Bill Gates or Elon Musk, musically talented like Paul McCartney or a gifted actor like Denzel Washington. God created me to be me, to do those things He intended only for me, and to do the best at those that I possibly can. Just as He created you to be you. In the Lord’s sight, we’re equal to anyone else – but not identical. We’re the clay; He’s the potter. 

Finding Beauty in the Midst of the Ugliness

Every time I go to the beach, it’s like a spiritual experience: Observing the waves crashing on the shore. Enjoying a beautiful sunrise or sunset. Seeing footprints someone has left in the sand. Watching a sailboat harness the breeze to skim across the water. These all are wondrous sights, giving me a renewed appreciation for the wonders and variety of God’s creation. 

Probably my favorite is the sight of pelicans soaring in the wind, diving to catch a fish, or bobbing peacefully in the ebbs and flows of the ocean. Pelicans are a paradox of sorts, rather ugly birds up close, with long, slender beaks, beady eyes, and mouths that sag under the weight of a just inhaled meal. Not nearly as majestic as a bald eagle or captivating as a cardinal. And yet, when flying together, riding the air currents in perfect unison, they transform into visions of unquestionable grandeur.

 

I'd imagine these winged creatures experience a sense of joy and fulfillment as they soar in tandem, doing what they were uniquely designed to do. I’d never expect anyone to adopt the slogan, “pretty as a pelican.” But seeing these seabirds frolicking so effortlessly through the air, especially with a blazing sky at sunset as a backdrop, is exhilarating. 

This is kind of a metaphor for the Church. Not all of us are beautiful blue jays, proud peacocks or songbirds festooned in feathery splendor. Some of us are more like the peculiar pelican or comical penguins; a few among us bear a suspicious resemblance to vultures. But when we come together in unity and harmony, blending our distinctive talents, skills and gifts, we can become a wondrous spiritual body that powerfully reflects the divine traits of our Creator.

 

The psalmist writes, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). While we typically ascribe this to humanity, I don’t see any reason for not applying this description to all of His works. Because in Romans 1:20 we’re told, “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.”

 

But getting back to the Church – the body of Christ – and the crazy, quirky folks that comprise it, even though individually many of us aren’t all that much to look at, when we merge to perform a spiritual symphony for the Lord, the melody that results is unforgettable.

 

We find the apostle Paul describing this, but using another metaphor – the human body: “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts, and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ…. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ and the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’ On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor…. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it” (1 Corinthians 12:12-27).

 

When the odd-looking pelicans align in formation as they catch the wind, they are doing so in silent praise to God. Working together in symmetry to fulfill His purpose and design for them. We can do the same when we too come together to convey – verbally and non-verbally – Jesus’ eternal, life-changing message of forgiveness, redemption and reconciliation. Psalm 133:1 declares, “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!”

 

Unity seems to be a much-neglected quality in our society these days, and the spirit of disunity has trickled down into the Church. If only we could become more like pelicans, casting aside our differences and idiosyncrasies to form a vision of oneness for all the world to see.

 

As Paul wrote, “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 15:5-6).

Positive Thinking Powerful When Thinking Positively the Right Way

Years ago, Norman Vincent Peale wrote a very popular self-help book, The Power of Positive Thinking, when self-help books weren’t yet all that popular. While it received criticism from some mental health experts, theologians and academics, his book explored 10 helpful rules for “overcoming inadequacy attitudes and learning to practice faith.”

 

Among these were visualizing oneself succeeding; drowning out negative thoughts with positive thoughts; not attempting to duplicate others, and recognizing the role God plays in achieving our goals. To be honest, I skimmed the book many years ago, so I don’t recall much of it. But even nearly 70 years since Peale’s book was published, many of his points make good, common sense – to a point.

For instance, picturing ourselves finding success in our chosen pursuits is definitely preferable to envisioning our efforts ending in failure. I have a friend who often quips, “I’m a positive thinker. I’m positive things are going to get worse.” We don’t want to be our own self-fulfilling prophecies. 

 

Comparing ourselves to others and seeking to replicate their accomplishments can also be self-defeating. I’ve learned that during this hard-knocks life. I can’t be someone else, just as they can’t be me. Psalm 139:14 declares, we each are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” We’re unique, not only in how we look but also in the way we think, our innate talents, our experiences, the skills we cultivate, and the spiritual gifts God entrusts to us. So trying to copy others can result in our rejection of how the Lord has uniquely designed us.

 

And if you’ve read these posts for very long, you know I’m all in about the belief that God wants to be directly and personally involved in every aspect of our lives. In his book, Peale asked his readers to repeat, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” 10 times every day. Taken from Philippians 4:13, a more contemporary translation is, “I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.” This is certainly valid biblical assurance we can trust – although I’m not sure we need to turn it into a mantra.

 

Ultimately, the strength of positive thinking depends on the basis for such thinking. If we adopt a “think happy thoughts” or “don’t worry, be happy” mindset, our apple carts are sure to become upset at some point. Because from the moment we’re born, life is tough; and often it gets harder from there. But if our trust – our faith – is centered on the God of all eternity, His sovereignty, faithfulness, love, grace, mercy, holiness and righteousness, we have every reason for thinking positively.

 

We live in a world that bombards us with negative thinking and information. We wake up and if we’re foolish enough to turn on the news, we’ll want to jump back in bed, pull the covers over our heads and stay there. Sadly, the atmosphere in some homes is negative as well. As someone has said, it’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re walking with turkeys. 

 

Cultivating a positive attitude toward oneself can help to a degree, but that can’t safeguard us from events and circumstances that are beyond our control. The most positive attitude in the world won’t help a 6-foot-6, 275-pound person to become a world-class jockey. Sometimes our picnics get rained out no matter how positively we think.

 

But as we study the Scriptures, examining and meditating on the life of Jesus Christ, as well as learning about His children – sins, warts and all – we find the best source for learning to think positively. I’ve long appreciated the counsel of the apostle Paul, who wrote, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

 

Each of these adjectives aptly describes the Lord Jesus, and the more we can focus our thoughts on Him and His example, the better our lives will be. We also find incredible treasures in His teachings, whether it’s His so-called Sermon on the Mount or the many other interactions He had with people during His earthly ministry.

 

There was the time Jesus was confronted by the Pharisees, a self-righteous, self-assured group of Jewish leaders, who decided to test Him with what they considered a trick question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” (Matthew 22:36). They probably figured that if the Lord singled out one commandment, they could challenge Him on why He didn’t think others were just as important.

 

But Jesus wisely responded, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40).

In this, He was not only summarizing all of the commandments and their intent, but also giving us a simple template for positive thinking: Love God with all we have, and let love and concern for others be the governing factor in our actions and decisions. If we’re thinking the right way, we’ll find positive thinking imbued with limitless power. Power from above. 

Sound Suggestions for Living Our Everyday Lives

At my granddaughter’s recent high school graduation, the keynote speaker, Dr. Paul Conn, chancellor of Lee University in Collegedale, Tenn., offered some succinct, simple, yet profound suggestions on how the students should begin living their post-high school years. As he stated at the start, “My goal is to stop speaking before you stop listening.”

 

Conn challenged them to “live your life as a statement,” and then described how not to live their lives: “Don’t live your life as an apology…. Don’t live your life as a whimper…. Don’t live your life as an echo.” Since I was attending the event as a proud grandpa, and not as a reporter, I didn’t capture all the veteran educator said, but I’ll share the gist of his meaning.

 

Let’s start with his don’ts. By not living life “as an apology,” Conn explained he meant not having to apologize for or give an excuse for being male or female; a specific race or ethnicity; having certain interests, hobbies or passions; or even having certain physical characteristics. As Psalm 139:14 declares, we each are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” so we need not offer any apologies for how God created or wired us.

 

By not living one’s life “as a whimper,” the longtime college administrator and author urged the students not to muster up complaints or grumble about life circumstances, especially when they don’t always go in one’s favor. My take on what he said was rather than focusing on why one can’t do a certain thing, pointing to obstacles or factors that might stand in the way, concentrate on ways to overcome those hurdles just as many great people have done through the centuries. In the words of Ecclesiastes 9:10, “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might….”

 

When Conn exhorted the students not to live “as an echo,” he was encouraging them to not parrot the views and perspectives of those around them, whether they are friends, college professors, the media, even parents. “Learn to think for yourself,” he said, “don’t blindly agree or disagree, or let others do the thinking for you.” 

 

Critical thinking skills seem to be discouraged in many quarters these days, with authorities on any and every topic more than willing to inform us on what we should believe. Romans 12:2 speaks powerfully to this, admonishing, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” A popular paraphrase states it this way: “Don’t let the world shape you into its mold.” The passage proceeds to add, “Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

 

But it was Conn’s positive exhortation that stood out most strongly: “Live your life as a statement.” He challenged them in several ways, such as, “Can you dream?” “Can you commit?” He also told them to seek their own answers to the question, “For you to live is…?” Ultimately, Conn proposed, our lives should be a statement of faith – not only in God and His revealed truth in the Scriptures, but also in what we believe He has called and uniquely equipped each of us to do.

 

I’ve always admired the words of the apostle Paul, who unwavering declared, “For in him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). The apostle was certain about his calling and the purpose God had prepared for him, and pursued it with relentless zeal – even more enthusiastically than he had pursued and persecuted followers of Jesus as a Pharisee prior to his life-changing encounter with Christ on the road to Damascus.

 

Often commencement messages are filled with lofty, ethereal ideals, kind of a feel-good hurrah for those eagerly waiting to grab their diplomas and embark on their next stage of life. But Conn, the savvy, seasoned educator that he is, packed his brief message with wisdom that hopefully will resonate in the advancing students’ minds for many years to come.

 

Would that we all would embrace his advice, refusing to let our lives become an apology, a whimper or an echo, but resolving for them to be clearly conceived, resolute statements enabling us to become true difference-makers, rather than difference-experiencers.

Who Are You? Our Identity Conundrum

Everyone these days seems concerned about their identity. “Who am I?” How we answer that question can take many directions, ranging from the work we do, to our family history, to the color of our skin, and increasingly, our gender.

 

For people in the working world, careers and jobs have long been a big part of their identity. I’ve lost count of how many times while traveling for business that I was asked, “What kind of work do you do?” I would ask fellow travelers the same thing. It might have been out of curiosity or sincere interest, but this  question functioned as a convenient way to discern where someone fit on the social importance scale. “Oh, you’re a doctor? Interesting!” “You’re a nuclear scientist? Wow!” “A professional athlete. That’s great!” “You’re a best-selling novelist? Well, so glad to meet you!”

 Alas, folks like hotel maids, sanitation engineers, newsstand operators and retail clerks usually don’t get the same kind of eager reception. Because some jobs equate to affluence and status while others don’t, and the more money you make, the more important people think you are. That’s what we’re taught to believe.

 

But jobs are only one of many determinants we use for identity. If you’ve ever taken an online survey, toward the end they often ask questions about marital status, the number and ages of children you have, your own age, education, race and gender. They might ask about your political affiliation. Sometimes they inquire about your income. All are used as means for identifying who you are. Or at least, who you’re supposed to be, based on demographics.

 

Twenty years ago, no one was talking about “gender identity.” It was agreed that gender, or sex, was determined by the equipment a baby had when it was born. These days, however, a whole cadre of people want to “identify” gender according to the impulses racing around their minds. You are who you think you are or perceive yourself to be, we’re now being instructed.

 

Rather than wading into that debate, I have another question: Is it really fair – or right – to define someone’s true identity solely based a single criterion, or even several external criteria? Such as the kind of job they have; how many years they spent in college; the size of their bank account and investment portfolio; whether they’re married, single, or divorced; the color of their skin; or even their lifestyle choices? 

 

For instance, I’m a male, Caucasian (for which I offer no apology), a husband, father, grandfather, writer and journalist (in the traditional sense of the term), college graduate and Buckeye fan. But not one of those descriptions – or all of them together – represent my full “identity.”

 

What if we resolved to determine our identity not based on what we do or have, or how we feel, but rather according to what God says about us?

 

Indeed, what does God say – and think – about us? Answers to that question could fill a book, but I’ll highlight just a handful of passages that have meant a lot to me, ones that have made a huge difference in how I understand my own identity. For instance, Psalm 139:14 says I am, “fearfully and wonderfully made” – a unique and special creation of God. That’s very good news.

 

The Bible also tells me some bad news, that I’m a sinner: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23), and “There is no one righteous, not even one…there is no one who does good, not even one” (Romans 3:11-12). I don’t like this part of my identity, but it’s true.

 

But as the Scriptures so often do, when they give us bad news, they also provide good news to offset it. In response to this sin problem we all have, which separates us from a perfect, holy, righteous God, we’re told, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). This ties in with the passage most of us know well, John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That is, to borrow the phrase from an old rock song, a whole lotta love!

 

Getting back to my identity, the answer to the question, “Who am I?” The Bible declares that as a disciple of Jesus Christ, I have received a brand new identity. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Abiding in Christ, as the Scriptures term it, I’m a new person, fully forgiven for my sins and empowered by His Holy Spirit to live this new life.

 

A few verses down in the same passage, we’re informed that as His followers, “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors…. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (Romans 5:20-21).

 

We could consider many more portions of Scripture, but I think one verse sums up what our focus should be, the way we address the matter of our “identity,” the answer to “who am I?” If we have trusted in Christ, have committed our lives to Him in faith and are seeking to know and serve Him more and more each day, then we all can rest in this promise: “See how great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1).

 

It matters not whether we’re male or female, married or single, with or without children; whatever kind of work we do, what our skin color or ethnicity might be, how much education we have, or how much money we have in the bank. Those are facets of our lives, mere fractions of who we are in totality. But they don’t define us. Am I a child of the living God, promised life both now and forever as a member of His eternal family? That is who I am. 

Masterpieces of Our Own Making

Works of art, such as these statues and the architecture in St. Mark's Square
in Venice, Italy, are not just the result of artistry, but also devotion to God.

Have you ever stood in front of a painting and just marveled? It might not even be a world-famous masterpiece, just some artwork an amateur painter created. But there’s something about it that captures your eye.

Or maybe it’s a musical performance that lifts your spirits and makes you smile, leaving you humming the tune long after the presentation has ended. Again, it might not involve a world-class musician, and yet it sparkles, deeply touching the spirits of those listening.

What is it about the painting or the music that evokes an inner thrill, while another might do nothing more than cause its audience to respond with a collective ho-hum?

Perhaps John Ruskin had it figured out. A writer, painter and art critic in the 19^th century’s Victorian era, Ruskin said, “When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.”

If someone insisted that I build a birdhouse, for whatever reason, I might manage to fashion something vaguely resembling a birdhouse. But it wouldn’t be anything about which even the kindest person in the world could find any nice words. Because first of all, my mechanical ability on a scale of 1-10 is a minus-3. But also, the task of constructing a birdhouse is something I would detest, not love.

But if one of our little grandkids were to do a little art project at school for Grandma and Pop, even with limited skill, it would be a masterpiece because it was made out of a heart filled with love.

One of my favorite hymns is “It Is Well With My Soul,” composed in 1873 by Horatio Spafford after his four daughters perished when the passenger ship on which they were sailing, Ville du Havre, collided with another vessel and sank into the icy Atlantic Ocean. The hymn’s first verse begins, “When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrow, like sea billows roll.” It is concludes with the refrain, “It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

How could this hymn – which lacks the upbeat rhythms of today’s praise music – remain a favorite today, even a masterpiece, nearly 150 years later? I suspect it’s because, as Ruskin stated, love and skill were working together as the grieving father clung to his faith, devotion to a sovereign God who works all things together according to His perfect purpose (Romans 8:28). Even when we don’t understand why.

However, that pales in comparison to the wonders we see everywhere by the Lord Himself, starting with the first acts of creation described in the opening chapters of Genesis – light, the universe, the earth, living creatures of all kinds, and finally, mankind. After each stage of His creative work, God declared it was very good. Love and skill working together, creating an unimaginable masterpiece.

And it continues to this day. As the psalmist writes in words that could apply to every one of us, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:13-14). Whether it’s a glorious sunrise or sunset, a delicate flower, or a wonderful newly born baby, there is no limit to masterpieces the Lord continues to create.

Because of this, we have the wonderful privilege of joining in what God is doing, serving as His “instruments of righteousness” (Romans 6:13). The Lord has entrusted each of us with skills and spiritual gifts, to be used in bringing honor and glory to Him and also for serving others. Motivated by love for our Savior, we can utilize our skills to create works that He will no doubt appraise as masterpieces.

Terrifying News for a Young Woman

Can you imagine what it must have been like for young Mary, probably barely a teenager, to carry the unfathomable, incomprehensible burden of being chosen to become the earthly mother of the incarnate Christ? She had recently been betrothed, and suddenly the angel Gabriel appeared to her to announce, “”Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you” (Luke 1:28). 

The Scriptures don’t record Mary’s response, but I suspect her first thought was, “Uh, okay?” They do inform us she was “greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be” (verse 29). Ya think? Then the angel dumped the whole load: 

“Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High” (Luke 1:30-32).

Again, the passage doesn’t offer her immediate response, but I bet it was the Hebrew equivalent of, “Say what?!” It does tell us she asked an obvious question: “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” (verse 34). Can you blame her for asking? After briefly describing the divine process that would soon come about, Gabriel finished by declaring, “For nothing is impossible with God” (verse 37).

To her credit, Mary didn’t prolong the discussion, asking if the angel could repeat what he had just told her. She simply responded, “I am the Lord’s servant…. May it be to me as you have said” (verse 38). Then Gabriel, as you might say, left the building.

I don’t mean to make light of this holy moment, but the Bible is nothing if not a very honest, very human book – yet divinely inspired. This definitely wasn’t what Mary had in mind in beginning preparations for her wedding. Who to invite? Yes. What kind of meal to serve? Probably. But the prospect of carrying the Son of God – God in the flesh – in her virgin womb? Not a chance.

Keep in mind that, unlike today when hardly anyone blinks anymore if we hear of a woman having a baby out of wedlock, it was a shameful state in Mary’s time. Women typically were regarded as second-class citizens, even property, in those days. They were expected to toe the line in laws and customs. This was why the Bible tells us her fiancé, Joseph, upon learning the news, “had in mind to divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:19), being a righteous man, despite his feelings of embarrassment. 

Then an angel of the Lord, perhaps Gabriel, also appeared to Joseph and interceded: “…do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save the people from their sins” (Luke 1:20-21). Also a man of great faith, Joseph did as the angel instructed.

So can you understand the conundrum, the exciting yet terrifying news that first Mary, and then Joseph, had to absorb and deal with?

I think about this because, in one respect, it seems a biblical statement about abortion. I don’t know if abortion was even practiced in the days of Jesus, but surely being unwed and pregnant was more than an inconvenience for Mary. What would people think? What would they do? Thank the Lord her betrothed husband was willing to follow through on his marriage commitment.

Do you think Mary even for a moment might have thought, “How can I get rid of this baby? I didn’t volunteer for this!” And yet, the massive, world-changing Christmas story we’re soon to celebrate found its inception in the lives of these two young people.

Fast-forwarding to today, we find many in the “pro-choice” abortion camp declaring “it’s a woman’s body,” and “it’s about women’s reproductive health.” I know, being a male, I’m not supposed to know about such things. But my wife has borne five children, and together we have 12 grandchildren and soon, six great-grandkids. So I do know at least a little about women getting pregnant, having babies and starting to raise them in this world.

At its heart, a decision to have an abortion is not just a “personal choice.” It affects far more than an individual woman troubled by a tiny, growing human being in her tummy. It’s a decision that affects many people, perhaps countless. How many lives have been touched – and changed – by the life of Jesus Christ through the centuries?

In our family, we are the beneficiaries of three women who made truly courageous, unselfish decisions not to terminate their pregnancies. One, more than 50 years ago, gave birth to a baby boy in times when being pregnant while not married was still regarded as a taboo. Today, he employs about 60 people in a thriving small business that’s making a difference in his community, and many customers benefit from the services his company provides.

Best of all, a few years ago, he was reunited with his birth mother and soon afterward met siblings he never knew existed. What an image to see him, his birth mom, and his loving, adoptive mother who raised him from infancy getting together for the first time!

We also have two adopted grandsons, wonderful, engaging little boys whose impact on our entire family is beyond measure. In both cases, their birth mothers courageously chose to go through the trials and challenges of pregnancy to give them life – and surrender them to a loving home that was ready to care for and nurture them, when they were not.

Recently, a brief segment during a college football game told about a young woman about 20 years ago who initially went to a facility to have an abortion, but then left and chose to give birth to her baby and raise him. Today, he is a stellar athlete and a young man of great character. Countless millions have enjoyed his athletic prowess and will continue to do so for years to come.

So to say that abortion should be solely a woman’s choice is wrong, when in fact it’s taking the life of a little human who is not yet ready for life outside the womb. Each new life, famous or not, has the potential for influencing and having an impact on the lives of countless others.

I get it. Having an unwanted pregnancy is a daunting, even terrifying prospect, as it was for Mary some 2,000 years ago. But in God’s sight, no life is without reason or without purpose. As Psalm 139:13-16 tells us:

“For [God] created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well…. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

As you contemplate Mary and the Christ Child this Christmas season, please think about that.

Thinking of Those Who Will Never Know Their Mothers

Another Mother’s Day is just a few days away, giving us another opportunity to express and demonstrate our appreciation. Not only to our moms, but also to the mothers of our own children, and all women who offer such devotion and sacrifice in caring for their sons and daughters. Thank you all, so very much!

But as the “pro-choice” vs. pro-life debate continues to ramp up, I can’t help but think of the millions of infants who will never celebrate a Mother’s Day, those unborn persons whose “moms” chose to end their lives in the womb.

Admittedly I have “skin in the game” when it comes to this: We have two grandsons whose birth mothers made courageous, selfless choices by bringing their babies to term and then, unable to take on the responsibility of raising a child, surrendered these little boys for adoption. We also have a son-in-law who, more than 50 years ago, was born to a teen-aged birth mother who also released him to be adopted, refusing to terminate her pregnancy.

How our lives would have been different if any – or all – of these birth moms had chosen to kill their babies before they were born. And because of these brave, noble decisions, two women unable to conceive biologically have had the joy and privilege of becoming “Mommy” or “Mom” to their sons.

I know terms like “kill” and “murder” for some are the equivalent of waving a red flag in front of a bull. Fighting words. Civil discourse and common sense are so lacking in this crucial issue. While it’s difficult to dissuade the opposition, the rights of the unborn must be defended.

Before one of our granddaughters arrived on the scene, we were delighted to see her ultrasound photo. The image of pre-born Brynn was at 23 weeks, still in her second trimester. Clearly she already had all of her parts – her head, body and limbs were formed. She just wasn’t ready for life outside the womb. No doubt, even at that stage of development, she was a baby, fully human, not fetal tissue just floating around in amniotic fluid.

It’s reported that abortion centers are reluctant, and often refuse, to show pregnant women ultrasounds of their unborn babies. When I’ve shown pro-abortion friends the ultrasound image of my granddaughter, they have looked away. Why do you think that is? 

Brynn was born five weeks premature, at 35 weeks, necessitating a stay in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) of Children’s Hospital. Even at that point, according to recent legislation, had she been born in states like New York or Virginia, she would have been eligible for “termination.” Looking at her lying in the incubator, tubes attached, growing slowly and gathering strength for going to her new home, it was hard to imagine how anyone could authorize ending such a tender, promising life.

Today that same little girl, now 2, is attending preschool, singing along with her favorite songs, learning colors, and brightening the room with her mischievous smile. 

Some would argue that since I’m a man, what right do I have to tell women what they should do with their bodies? To an extent, I understand such thinking. A pregnant woman is, after all, “inconvenienced” for nine months during gestation. And if she doesn’t want a baby, or lacks the resources to care for one, isn’t it more “humane” to end the pregnancy in the womb? 

Nothing, I believe, would have been humane about not allowing a little one like Brynn – or any child – to be born and be able to experience the opportunities of this wonderful world. Or begin to fulfill the potential of God’s unique design for them. 

As Psalm 139:13-16 beautifully expresses it, “For you [Lord] created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb; I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well…. All the days ordained for me were written in your book, before one of them came to be.”

This isn’t the only place where the Bible talks about the life of the unborn. In the gospel of Luke, we see the response to Jesus by prenatal John, who would become known as John the Baptist: “…Mary got ready and hurried to the town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah’s home and greeted Elizabeth [her also-expectant relative]. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby [John] leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit” (Luke 1:39-41).

How can we read such passages and assert the Bible says nothing about the personhood of the unborn or aborting them?

Even more tragic, in many cases there’s more than one victim of an abortion. In 2017, the Journal of American Surgeons and Physicians published a study of 1,000 women showing that for the vast majority of them, abortions had not made their lives better; many needed post-abortion counseling. 

Studies also have shown abortion can cause future infertility and miscarriage, and other medical studies have found post-abortive women run a higher risk of mental health disorders and substance abuse. These facts, of course, are typically ignored or excluded from the abortion debate.

So on this eve of Mother’s Day, I’d like to again congratulate all moms and wish them a wonderful day. We owe you much gratitude for giving us life. For those birth moms who have unselfishly offered their babies to be adopted by loving parents, thank you! You’ve made someone else’s Mother’s Day. And for women who have undergone abortions and suffered pain in the aftermath, may God grant you peace, comfort, and the restoring power of His grace and mercy.