Sound Suggestions for Living Our Everyday Lives

At my granddaughter’s recent high school graduation, the keynote speaker, Dr. Paul Conn, chancellor of Lee University in Collegedale, Tenn., offered some succinct, simple, yet profound suggestions on how the students should begin living their post-high school years. As he stated at the start, “My goal is to stop speaking before you stop listening.”

 

Conn challenged them to “live your life as a statement,” and then described how not to live their lives: “Don’t live your life as an apology…. Don’t live your life as a whimper…. Don’t live your life as an echo.” Since I was attending the event as a proud grandpa, and not as a reporter, I didn’t capture all the veteran educator said, but I’ll share the gist of his meaning.

 

Let’s start with his don’ts. By not living life “as an apology,” Conn explained he meant not having to apologize for or give an excuse for being male or female; a specific race or ethnicity; having certain interests, hobbies or passions; or even having certain physical characteristics. As Psalm 139:14 declares, we each are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” so we need not offer any apologies for how God created or wired us.

 

By not living one’s life “as a whimper,” the longtime college administrator and author urged the students not to muster up complaints or grumble about life circumstances, especially when they don’t always go in one’s favor. My take on what he said was rather than focusing on why one can’t do a certain thing, pointing to obstacles or factors that might stand in the way, concentrate on ways to overcome those hurdles just as many great people have done through the centuries. In the words of Ecclesiastes 9:10, “Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might….”

 

When Conn exhorted the students not to live “as an echo,” he was encouraging them to not parrot the views and perspectives of those around them, whether they are friends, college professors, the media, even parents. “Learn to think for yourself,” he said, “don’t blindly agree or disagree, or let others do the thinking for you.” 

 

Critical thinking skills seem to be discouraged in many quarters these days, with authorities on any and every topic more than willing to inform us on what we should believe. Romans 12:2 speaks powerfully to this, admonishing, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” A popular paraphrase states it this way: “Don’t let the world shape you into its mold.” The passage proceeds to add, “Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

 

But it was Conn’s positive exhortation that stood out most strongly: “Live your life as a statement.” He challenged them in several ways, such as, “Can you dream?” “Can you commit?” He also told them to seek their own answers to the question, “For you to live is…?” Ultimately, Conn proposed, our lives should be a statement of faith – not only in God and His revealed truth in the Scriptures, but also in what we believe He has called and uniquely equipped each of us to do.

 

I’ve always admired the words of the apostle Paul, who unwavering declared, “For in him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). The apostle was certain about his calling and the purpose God had prepared for him, and pursued it with relentless zeal – even more enthusiastically than he had pursued and persecuted followers of Jesus as a Pharisee prior to his life-changing encounter with Christ on the road to Damascus.

 

Often commencement messages are filled with lofty, ethereal ideals, kind of a feel-good hurrah for those eagerly waiting to grab their diplomas and embark on their next stage of life. But Conn, the savvy, seasoned educator that he is, packed his brief message with wisdom that hopefully will resonate in the advancing students’ minds for many years to come.

 

Would that we all would embrace his advice, refusing to let our lives become an apology, a whimper or an echo, but resolving for them to be clearly conceived, resolute statements enabling us to become true difference-makers, rather than difference-experiencers.

You Are What You Decide

Have you ever heard the saying, “You are what you eat”? With obesity now at what some experts term epidemic proportions, we see many walking, talking examples of that. What about, “You are what you read”? What we choose to put into our minds, as with what we put into our bodies, can make a huge difference in how we view the world around us. I’d suggest another one: “You are what you decide.”

There are many aspects of this. I recall as a young adult how excited I was to receive my first credit card. I could buy whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it! Sadly, I failed to consider the downsides of my spending decisions – high interest rates and growing balances each month that I couldn’t pay off. As a consequence, I joined the hordes of people encumbered with credit card debt. 

I didn’t realize it at the time, but deciding to acquire things I wanted but really couldn’t afford fit me for the biblical warning, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). Thankfully, years later I learned what the Bible teaches about money management. I and my wife (who inherited my debt when we married) received financial counseling based on those principles. We decided to begin the process of slowly getting rid of that debt, and over the years have saved thousands of dollars in interest that would have accrued.

Other decisions over the course of my life also have made an incredible difference in who I am today. I started college in Houston, Texas, where my English instructor encouraged me in the direction of professional writing. Following up on that, I transferred to (the) Ohio State University, where I majored in journalism. Upon graduation, my career in writing and editing was launched at a small newspaper in central Ohio. It wasn’t my dream job, but it turned out to be a critical career decision.

Looking at my vocational path after that, I’m not certain it was guided so much by my own decisions as it was decisions God made for me. As the passage I later adopted as my life verse instructs, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him – and He will direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). That has certainly proved true for me.

While at that first newspaper, I met a young woman with two children and we started dating. Within a year we decided to marry. Although we’ve endured our share of bumps along the way, we’ve enjoyed more than 44 years of marriage. She’s been every bit the “completer” or “helpmate” that God promised when He said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone.”

Without a doubt, the greatest, most profound decision I have ever made – or will make – in my life has been to receive Jesus Christ into my life as Savior and Lord. As it says in John 1:12, “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” After many years of passive, intellectual belief, making a decision based on faith to follow Jesus has changed my life in ways I could never have imagined or even hoped.

These are some of the radical, life-changing decisions I’ve made in my life, ones that have shaped who I have become. But every day we make smaller, yet very significant decisions that influence our attitudes as well as our actions. 

A friend of mine used to say, “You can’t stop birds from flying over your head – but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” We’re bombarded daily with negativity, when it’s the news – as my pastor recently called it, “Bad Morning America”; poisonous messages on social media; inconsiderate texts and emails; or just hostile people in the supermarket checkout line. Unexpected problems threaten to ruin our day.

We can decide to let these diverse messages manipulate our minds, making us just as miserable as many of the folks we encounter. Or we can decide instead to do as the apostle Paul exhorted. For instance, in Romans 12:2 he wrote, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” One paraphrase puts it this way: “Don’t let the world shape you into its mold.”

Elsewhere the apostle instructed his followers, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about these things” (Philippians 4:8). Some of us are “glass half full” thinkers: others are more inclined toward “glass half empty.” But even the most positive thinker, if not careful, can become sucked into the darkening gloom that seeks to envelop us. 

Ultimately, we’re the deciders of what we let affect our thinking. As Proverbs 23:7 tells us, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." The decision, big or small, is ours. And to large measure, what we will be is determined by what we decide.

Pattern Followers, or Pattern Formers?

“Are we seeing a pattern here?” How many times have you heard someone ask this question? Usually it’s referring to observable behavior or recurring events, but we see patterns all around us in many ways.

Some people still use patterns for making dresses and other items of clothing. (Honestly, when was the last time someone you knew did that?) In the arts, we see patterns – rhythms and progressions in music; rhyme and meter in poetry and prose; geometric patterns in paintings, sculptures and photography. There are airplane flight patterns, and good wide receivers know how to run proper pass patterns in football.

Some of us are old enough to remember TV test
patterns. But they're not the only patterns
presented to us every day.

Do you remember TV test patterns? They were fixtures in the early days of television, long before 24/7 broadcasting was ever imagined. One way toddlers learn to talk is by listening to and observing speech patterns of their parents and others. Sadly, experts explore patterns of violence and terrorism.

But have you ever considered how we conduct our lives serves as a “pattern” for others to observe, and perhaps choose to follow?

This happens all the time. A younger sibling watches older sister or brother and emulates their behavior, good or bad. New employees are encouraged to meet with mentors and learn the patterns for success the more seasoned team members have used. Seeking to advance spiritually, young believers look to pastors, Sunday school teachers, or more mature believers to provide a pattern for growing in their faith.

The Bible talks about patterns, explaining they can be a good thing, but can be unfruitful, even destructive as well. So, we’re advised to be diligent to form the right pattern for others, and to select with care those whose life patterns we copy.

Writing to one of his disciples and fellow workers, the apostle Paul wrote, “Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works, in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say about you” (Titus 2:6-8, NKJV)

Hebrews 10:24 exhorts us to, “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” The impact we can have on others, both in terms of offering encouragement and giving a pattern for others to follow, can be immeasurable. It’s a sober responsibility.

At the same time, we need remain alert to negative influences – patterns – presented by the world around us which too often refuses to look to God and His Word for guidelines. As Romans 12:2 admonishes, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...” (NIV). The Phillips translation of this verse offers strong imagery: “Don’t let the world squeeze you into its own mold, but let God remold your minds from within….”

Given the many kinds of patterns we encounter every day, the question we need to ask is, where are we finding the patterns we implement for our own lives, and what do the patterns look like that we are establishing for others?

Going Clockwise in a Counter-Clockwise World

Technology has touched our lives in many ways, some good and some bad. It’s even intensified the communications gap between generations. Take the evolution of the telephone, for example. If you can define the meaning of “party line” or explain why we still talk about “dialing” the phone, chances are very good you’re a Baby Boomer. A millennial has no clue what those terms mean.

And if you can remember the days of using a knob for changing channels on the TV; how it was necessary to maneuver the “rabbit ears” to get good TV reception, or even referred to the device as a “television set,” again you’re probably a member of the so-called Boomer generation.

As clocks change, in generations to come,
how will we know if we're going
clockwise or counter-clockwise?

In this digital age – when time on most of our watches, clocks and cell phones appears in numerals like 3:45 and 10:17, without hour, minute and sweeping second hands – how long will we still understand what it means to go “clockwise” or “counter-clockwise”?

I started wondering about this at our local mall early one morning during my power-walking regimen. Like most of the walkers, I was going counter-clockwise, just as stockcars and thoroughbred horses do when racing in the United States. Then I noticed one fellow who’d resolved to go against the flow, like a salmon choosing to swim downstream rather than upstream like the rest of its finny friends.

This gentleman was a stranger, but judging from his gray hair and the ponytail cascading down his back, he might have been a remnant of the hippie era, staging an ambulatory protest against conformity. Since most of the walkers weren’t moving very quickly, risks of a head-on collision were slight. But it did seem disconcerting to pass Mr. Clockwise going in a contrary direction.

Then it occurred to me that as followers of Jesus Christ, part of our calling could be described as choosing a clockwise path in an increasingly counter-clockwise world.

Romans 12:2 warns, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Another passage exhorts followers of Christ, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – come not from the Father but from the world” (1 John 2:15-16).

Tough words for sure, and perhaps a bit difficult to accept. After all, we live in the world, don’t we? If everyone else is going counter-clockwise, why should we be different?

And just what is “the pattern of this world”? What is “loving the world” all about?

We get the “pattern” in part from the media and popular culture. They’re constantly telling us what to think and believe, sometimes in ways that clearly contradict teachings of the Bible. This applies to individual behavior, moral convictions and ethical standards. If we disagree with shifting values, society tells us we’re out of step and need to get with the program.

We see it in society’s pervasive emphasis on materialism, the underlying message being that true happiness and fulfillment are found in money and things we possess. We even have churches and TV evangelists that affirm this perspective.

Then we have political correctness and the so-called “thought police,” trying to press us into their mold. They often bring to life the biblical description, “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity…they not only continue to do these things but also approve of those who practice them” (Romans 1:29-32). Not only that, but if we don’t concur with their redefining of morality and acceptable behavior, we’re portrayed as bigots, haters, narrow-minded and judgmental.

Yes, it seems in many ways to be a follower of Jesus today means to go against the tide, or to go clockwise in a counter-clockwise world. But it was the same for Jesus Himself. His was the ultimate “road less traveled,” and we’re called to do much the same, as He directs.

Is it easy going against the flow? Maybe in a mall, but definitely not in the world around us. But as Jesus said, “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:14).