Overcoming the Enemies of Contentment

Suppose you were hired for a job and told the company had established 10 rules that had to be abided by without exceptions. Would you accept the job?

 

As long as the rules were reasonable, most of us would. Unless the rules were something like being required to work 100 hours a week, not being allowed to take any breaks or eat lunch, or doing something illegal. Virtually every job comes with certain rules. Some require wearing of uniforms or a specific dress code. Employers rightfully expect employees to arrive for work on time, and often give them detailed job descriptions. Without rules there would be chaos.

 

For many years it was not uncommon to find the Ten Commandments displayed at workplaces. We can still see them in some of the federal buildings in Washington, D.C., as well as government buildings in some states. But as someone has quipped, having the Ten Commandments in plain sight can create a hostile working environment for some folks.

 

Actually, the commandments are fairly straight-forward, as presented in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5. The first four deal with one’s relationship with God: Have no other gods but the Lord; don’t worship idols; don’t take God’s name in vain; keep the Sabbath as a day of rest.

 

The other six concern relationships with one another: Give honor and respect for one’s parents; don’t commit murder; don’t commit adultery; don’t steal things that aren’t yours; always tell the truth; and don’t covet other people’s stuff. Nothing in that list seems unreasonable, does it? But try as we might, we break one or more of those commands every day in thought, word and/or deed.

 

Each commandment is worthy of exposition to explore why God saw fit to include it in the “Top 10” list. But perhaps the one we hear about the least is the last, which says:

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. You shall not set your desire on your neighbor’s house or land, his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor” (Deuteronomy 5:21).

 

It’s not much of a mystery why the Lord inserted this one among the Ten Commandments. It’s hard to establish a healthy, trusting relationship with others when you are intensely coveting – or desiring – the things they possess. But the practice of “comparing ourselves with the Joneses” is something most of us have engaged in probably more than once.

 

Maybe a neighbor always seems to be driving a new car loaded with all the accessories. Their home might be the envy of everyone on the street. Photos they regularly post on social media about their latest exotic trip might cause us to wonder why we don’t get to travel as they do. Or they might have the seemingly picture-perfect marriage, their kids are the most mannerly, and they attend the very best schools. What’s wrong with coveting things like that?

 

There are many reasons, but perhaps foremost is that coveting is the enemy of a trait that should be evident in our lives if we are followers of Jesus Christ: Contentment. Writing to his young protégé, Timothy, the apostle Paul declared, “godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it” (1 Timothy 6:6-7).

 

What kind of witness for Christ can we be if we’re obviously jealous or envious of other people’s lives and what they have?

 

Of course, we live in a society that bombards us with messages discouraging contentment, saying what we have isn’t enough, that no matter how much we have we need more. This flies against biblical teachings that God is the one who provides us with what we need. As Paul wrote in another letter, “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

 

To covet what someone else has that we don’t is like complaining to the Lord that He hasn’t been good enough or kind enough to us, that if He really loved us He’d give us more.

 

Jesus warned against such thinking. He said, “…do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear…. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well” (Luke 12:22,30-31).

 

What about people who aren’t committed to following Christ? They might clearly be living contrary to God’s design, and yet they’re prospering, seemingly happy as they could be. What’s up with that? 

 

King David of Israel, who experienced more than his share of opposition and adversity during his lifetime, apparently wondered about this as well. His conclusion: “Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away” (Psalm 37:1).

Surrounded by enemies of contentment, we’d be wise to take to heart Paul’s advice to Timothy: “But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (1 Timothy 6:8). 

Conquering the Conundrum of Discontentment

Have you ever been invited into a friend’s home for the first time and marveled with envy at their house and its design? Or gotten out of your 10-year-old car just as your neighbor drove up with a new SUV and you thought, ‘Wow, I’d like to have a car like that’? Maybe you’ve felt jealous of someone who had a better job than you – or a better income?

 

To be honest, there have been times when feelings like that have crossed my mind. I suspect this is one of the reasons “you shall not covet” (Exodus 20:17) is included among the Ten Commandments. In our materialistic world, we’ll always find someone having something we’d like to have ourselves. It might be the pool in their backyard, the photo-perfect vacations they take each year, their wardrobe, or their seemingly ideal marriage. We can become preoccupied with thoughts of, ‘I wish…. I want…. If only….’

 

On top of that, we’re bombarded daily with TV, radio and movie ads, billboards and other messages designed to develop in us a sense of discontentment. The ads might not say it in so many words, but subtly they’re telling us, “Your life isn’t complete unless you buy this.” Or, “This is what you can’t do without.” It gets to the point where it’s hard to distinguish between our genuine needs – and our wants.

 

Of course, these impulses aren’t new. That’s why God commanded all of us not to covet “your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” I don’t know anyone who’s confessed to coveting his neighbor’s ox or donkey, but that’s beside the point.

 

We might say the antithesis of coveting is contentment, being satisfied with whatever we have and wherever we are at the moment. Writing to his protégé, Timothy, the apostle Paul offered this perspective: “…godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (1 Timothy 6:6-8).

 

I remember an old friend I hadn’t seen in a long while. When I asked how he and his family were doing, he responded, “Well, we have a lot of wants, but don’t have any needs.” How many of us can say that and mean it? And yet, the Scriptures exhort us over and over to strive for contentment.

 

After thanking Christ followers in ancient Philippi for their support of his mission work, Paul added, “I am not saying this out of need, for I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances. I know how to live humbly, and I know how to abound. In any and every situation I have learned the secret of being filled and being hungry, of having plenty and having need. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13). That is the key – through Christ.

 

While we might feel envious or jealous of other people’s life circumstances, most often our “coveting” is directly to money or things money can buy. The unidentified writer of Hebrews pointed this out: “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, for God has said: ‘Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5). In essence, coveting what someone else has is like saying to the Lord, “You haven’t given me enough!”

 

King Solomon, whose vast wealth was coveted by leaders of other nations, ironically concluded from his own experience that discontentment – never being satisfied with what one already has – leads to vain pursuits: “He who loves money is never satisfied by money, and he who loves wealth is never satisfied by income. This too is futile” (Ecclesiastes 5:10).

 

One of Jesus’ favorite topics during His earthly ministry was money and material possessions – but not seeking to accumulate them. Instead, He admonished us to concentrate on things that won’t become damaged or lost. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal” (Matthew 6:19-20).

 

Jesus made this declaration during His so-called “Sermon on the Mount,” but had more to say on the subject: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:25,33).

 

These truths are important for us to hold onto, especially with Christmas fast approaching. As if we needed a reminder of this, stores are already displaying Christmas trees and other holiday finery, even though Halloween and Thanksgiving haven’t yet arrived. In the retail world Christmas, what we could call our annual “season of discontent,” can determine the difference between a profitable year and one that finishes in the red.

 

Discontentment is a universal problem, but it’s especially concerning for followers of Christ. As Paul said, “godliness with contentment is great gain” – and a powerful witness to the unbelieving world that’s always grasping for more. In the words of the old hymn, as we “turn our eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face…the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”

Christmas and Its Conflict with Contentment

“What do you want for Christmas?” This is a question we’ve either asked of someone, or someone has asked of us. Perhaps both. Because Christmas is all about getting stuff we want, right? At least that’s the message we receive from advertisers and retail locations big and small, both real and virtual. 

 

We’re also told it doesn’t matter whether we can afford it or not. Just pull out a credit card. The old “buy now, pay later” strategy. Preacher Alistair Begg calls this the way to “fulfill your wanting without waiting.”

 

Of course, if you often read this blog, you might agree with my contention that Christmas isn’t about the advancement of materialism. Yes, gift giving is a time-honored part of the Christmas tradition, perhaps more in the U.S.A. than anywhere else. But when we start hearing characters in holiday movies, talk show commentators and TV commercials asking the over-used question, “What is the true meaning of Christmas?” my gut response is, “Duh!” 

 

Leave the Christ Child out of the equation and all we’ve got left is “mas.” Ironically, in Spanish the word “mas” means “more,” so perhaps that’s part of the reason that for many, Christmas turns into a quest for acquiring more and more stuff.

 

For followers of Jesus, however, the understanding of the meaning and purpose of Christmas is more straight-forward. It’s an annual celebration of a unique birth more than 2,000 years ago, when “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us…who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). If Jesus, whom believers came to recognize as “the Christ” or the promised Messiah, hadn’t been born, there would have been no need for a Christmas observance.

 

Let’s shift to the consideration of the gift-giving side of Christmas. After all, even Christ’s birth was marked with the presentation of gifts. Magi, wise men from the East who were led to seek out the fulfillment of prophecies dating back to the Old Testament days of Daniel, brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh as symbols of their reverence. 

 

We could rightly conclude that the exchange of gifts doesn’t violate any biblical principles or commandments. In fact, the Scriptures strongly endorse giving and cultivating a giving attitude. We often think of Jesus’ statement, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35), but we find admonitions for lavish, even hilarious giving throughout the Bible. 

 

I particularly like the encouragement from Proverbs 11:24-25, "One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

 

The problem comes when we confuse strivings for more and more with the ability to feel content with whatever we already have. The apostle Paul addressed this in cautioning his disciple, Timothy, “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (1 Timothy 6:6-8).

 

Elsewhere the apostle, while addressing the willingness of believers in Philippi to support his ministry, wrote, “…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” (Philippians 4:11-12).

 

This is the challenge we face during this special season of the year, seeking to keep separate our wants from our needs, and to cultivate contentment in what could be termed, to borrow the words of John Steinbeck, “the winter of our discontent.” 

The Problem With Taking Things for Granted

Quite a few years ago, before the shattering of the Iron Curtain and the disunifying of the Soviet Union, a friend in Atlanta hosted two Russian visitors. As hosts often do when people come to visit from out of town, my friend wanted to introduce his guests to some of the local sites. One of the destinations was a huge, indoor shopping mall.

 

“Who doesn’t like a trip to the mall?” he thought. Well, he found out. The Russians, accustomed to long food lines and sparse store shelves in their home country during Communist rule, went out of curiosity but quickly experienced sensory overload.

 

After about five minutes, the visitors rushed up to their hosts and insisted, “We must go now.” “But we’ve just gotten here,” my friend protested. “No,” one of the men repeated, “We must go. Too much – too much!” Trying to comprehend the material abundance everywhere they looked had overwhelmed them.

I was reminded of this while viewing a video produced by PragerU, a conservative non-profit devoted to teaching about the values that make America great. In the video, an immigrant from Cuba goes to Walmart  for the first time. In the grocery section, he’s amazed at both the array and size of the fresh produce. He picks up an onion about the size of a baseball in disbelief.

 

The newcomer to the U.S.A. next goes to the small appliance section, and then the toy department where he marvels at the many dolls on display. How would his daughter react if she saw this, he wonders. As the Cuban speaks on the video, you can see astonishment in his eyes. There was nothing like this in his homeland.

 

By comparison, how do lifelong Americans react in similar circumstances? We’re more likely to respond with a shrug, oblivious to the abundance all around us. I’ve actually felt a bit annoyed at times by having some many choices: Going into a paint store and discovering hundreds of different shades of…white, or blue, or green. Or walking down a grocery store aisle and encountering 55 varieties of baked beans – in sizes ranging from single-serving to “big enough to feed an army.” Why so many?

 

Remember the great toilet paper panic of 2020? (Who can forget, right?) In two blinks of an eye, the shelves went from stacks and stacks of TP to absolutely bare, causing some to consider subscribing again to the daily newspaper – just in case they ran out and needed an alternative. The crisis got so urgent that Mr. Whipple nearly came out of retirement to hawk his hoarded supplies of Charmin.

 

Such is the blessing – and the curse – of living in a prosperous nation. We can easily grow complacent, taking for granted our access to goods that people in many other countries can find only in their dreams. 

 

Maybe that’s why one of the virtues so rare in our society is contentment. Our desire for more seems limitless. Too much is never enough. Meanwhile, folks from other nations who visit – or just watch American programs on TV – find such abundance unfathomable.

 

I’m not suggesting we should go on a collective guilt trip, but maybe it’s time we started to gain some perspective. In a letter of exhortation to his young protégé, Timothy, the apostle Paul wrote, “godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (1 Timothy 6:6-8).

 

In this same passage we read, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil” (1 Timothy 6:10). Some have incorrectly quoted this as “the love of money is the root of all evil,” which it doesn’t say at all. But as Paul concludes his thought, “Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

 

Perhaps the greatest problem with material abundance – excess – is that it deceives us into trusting our own self-sufficiency. Which in turn diminishes our sense of dependence upon God. Jesus spoke about this, chiding His hearers for worrying about their daily needs:  

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?... For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:25-33).

 

In one sense, it’s wonderful to know we live in a society where we typically don’t have to worry about whether we’ll find a loaf of bread to buy when we go to the store. But it might be good to occasionally see things as folks visiting from other less “blessed” lands. Wouldn’t it be something to go to a mall and suddenly decide, “Too much!” and return home, happily content with what we have and not feeling an urge to acquire more? 

Pitfalls of Comparing ‘Highlight Reels’

Have you ever looked at another family, comparing them with your own, and thought, ”Why can’t we be like them?” Perhaps there’s a couple you don’t know well, but observing them, they seem so perfect. “Why can’t my (husband/wife) and I be like them?” Or maybe you’ve been inspired by a guest speaker at your church or a Bible conference and you thought, “That person has it so together. What I wouldn’t give to be like (him/her).”

We’ve probably all done this at one time or another. I know I have. The problem is, what we’re doing is contrasting our lives with what I heard one person call the “highlight reels” of other people’s lives. 

You know what a highlight reel is, don’t you? It’s the “best plays of the day” that ESPN at the end of every sports day. It’s the video package a football or basketball prospect puts together to catch the eye of coaches – outstanding runs, catches or tackles, or three-pointers and slam dunks. Judging from those little video snippets, how can one help but be impressed? 

It's similar to that in real life. Except not on reels. We see folks up close and marvel at how ideal they seem. “There are no perfect people,” we reason, “but they sure look pretty darn close.”

Therein lies the problem – or pitfall. Sports highlight reels don’t include the fumbles, dropped passes or missed tackles, the bad shots or fouls. They show only the good plays. That’s usually the case when we’re in public. As my friend Jimmy Lee says, we put on our “Sunday smiles.”

How did I learn to distrust other people’s “highlight reels”? I had the opportunity to see people behind the scenes, when they let their guard down, when they thought no one was watching, or I caught a glimpse of how they acted when the spotlight was turned off.

Those families who seem to in sync, who appear to be oozing with love for each other without a trace of conflict? In real life – rather than reel life – they experience strife just like anyone else. They might present their best at church and other public settings, but they’re just as riddled by sibling rivalry as the rest of us. As the saying goes, they put their pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else.

I recall during my years in parachurch ministry that I would watch couples seemingly in lockstep, totally in one accord as they ministered to others together. Then I would learn that some of them were in counseling, that they were wrestling with demons from their past, or bickering just like any other married couple. Even “perfect people” have flaws.

And those individual who seemed so smart and friendly from the podium? The ones you think, “Wow! If only he were my pastor and I could hear him speak every week”? Or, “She’s so warm, so compassionate. Wouldn't it be something to have her as a friend – or even a mentor”? Over the years I learned that some of them are lightbulbs. They shine when they’re on stage, with all the attention riveted on them. But in private, when the switch is turned off, they’re really introverts. Not nearly as sparkly and engaging as when they’re speaking.

Truly, appearances can deceive. But this isn’t to condemn these folks. It’s just that they’re not super heroes. They’re just like us, people with real joys and real sorrows, facing the same types of struggles and challenges we all do.

Perhaps this is one reason God included “you shall not covet” (Exodus 20:17) among His Ten Commandments. It’s just not wishing we had a house or car like someone has; it can also mean coveting what other people appear to be. Especially because in many cases, that’s not who they really are anyway.

This also might be another application of the apostle Paul’s declaration in Philippians 2:11, “…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Yes, he was writing from prison, in less than ideal circumstances, and during his ministry had often suffered from near-deprivation. But he had also learned to find contentment wherever he was and whatever situation he found himself in. Thus he emphasized to his protégé, Timothy, that “godliness with contentment is great gain.”

When we learn to accept our spouses and families for who they are, rather than some false image of what we think someone else’s is, we grow one step closer to God. When we accept being what the Lord made us to be and to become, rather than wishing we were like another person, we also grow one step closer to Him.

So those “highlight reels” other people are showing us every day? Only their best feet forward? Ignore them. Those are no more genuine than the Wizard of Oz, or Obi Wan Kenobi. 

Contentment – What’s It Require?

Are you contented? Are you satisfied with where you are in life right now? Well, if you are, stop it!

(At least that’s the message we receive every day from society.)

We won't find the path to contentment in the Sunday
newspaper flyers. Their goal is to create discontent.

In our materialistic, consumer-oriented world, contentment is discouraged. We’re not to be satisfied with what we’ve got – we need more, we need new, we need better! What if Americans from coast to coast became content with what they had? Why, our entire retail structure would crumble. The whole idea is we need to buy new shirts, dresses, shoes, purses, coffeemakers, computers, smartphones, cars and houses. Quit spending, apparently, and it’s the end of life as we have known it.

Even annual economic reports carry the underlying message of discontent. It’s not enough for our nation’s businesses to duplicate what they did the year before; they must do better, hopefully by several percentage points. And they need to do the same the next year.

I could give more examples, but we all know what being discontented feels and looks like. Because we experience it – maybe even today. So, when I came across an online listing entitled, “10 Signs You Are Doing Well in Life,” it caught my attention because it presents a very different perspective on what contentment is – or should be. Here’s the list of “Signs”:

1.     You have a roof over your head

2.     You ate today

3.     You have a good heart

4.     You wish good for others

5.     You have clean water

6.     Someone cares for you

7.     You strive to be better

8.     You have clean clothes

9.     You have a dream

10.  You’re breathing

Sadly, for countless millions of people around the world – including many in the U.S.A. – if that’s what contentment requires, then they have every right to feel discontented. Four items listed – a roof (somewhere to live), food, water and clothing – are tangible needs that far too many people lack. For those of us who do have these things, we ought to have two responses: 1) be thankful, and 2) consider how we could help those who don’t.

The other six items on the list, however, aren’t tangible. They’re states of mind, perspectives. Too many people lack them as well. In our increasingly negative, hate-filled, intolerantly “tolerant” culture, finding someone with a good heart and who wishes good for others is a treasure.

Equally priceless is someone who cares for us, especially those who do so unconditionally, despite our many flaws and weaknesses. When so many men, women and children are forgotten, isn’t it a blessing to have someone who cares for us?

Striving to be better often ties into having a dream. I have friends who not only have cultivated those qualities for themselves, but also have dedicated their lives to helping others do the same. Lacking a dream – having no hope for a brighter future, or to be a better person in one way or another – can become a virtual death sentence.

The last item on the list, the fact that we’re breathing for another day, means we have a chance to strive for and attain the other nine. And perhaps, to assist others in their own striving.

Contentment, as we might expect, receives prominent attention in the Bible. Writing to his young protégé, Timothy, the apostle Paul admonished, “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (1 Timothy 6:6-8).

Speaking to the throngs that followed Him, Jesus urged them to trust and find contentment in what God provides: “Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin…if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you? You men of little faith! And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying…your Father knows that you need these things. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you” (Luke 12:27-31).

Our society broadcasts the mantra, “Don’t be content. Don’t settle for where you are, or for what you have. You must do better!” To this the Scriptures respond, “give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God” (Proverbs 30:8-9).

Following Paul’s advice, if we pursue godliness, finding satisfaction with whatever chooses to God provide – whether it be a lot or just enough to meet our needs – contentment won’t be far behind.