Heartfelt Appreciation – in the Most Literal Sense

This time of year, I observe an anniversary of sorts. On Dec. 20, 2006, I experienced a literal heart-rending moment. I underwent open-heart surgery to fix an aortic aneurysm and correct several arterial blockages. I spent that Christmas in the hospital recuperating, away from my family’s festivities, but I could rejoice that I was still around.

 

Eighteen years later, thanks to God, a skillful surgeon and excellent cardiologists, I’m still writing, reading, exercising, taking photos, playing a little pickleball – and most important, getting to spend time with my wife, our children, grandchildren and great-grands.

 

Procedures like I had aren’t all that rare. I’ve talked with a number of people in the years since, sharing my experiences and encouraging them, whether they were preparing for similar surgery or had just undergone surgery. That doesn’t mean the procedure is easy. It’s a major operation, one of the most serious a person can go through, and the recovery is slow and time-consuming.

 

Every morning upon waking up I recognize the new day is a gift – undeserved – and I can pray along with the psalmist, “This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24).

 

Almost every day we hear of someone who has had a heart attack, but I suspect most of us take for granted the amazing muscle that beats non-stop during our entire lifetime, keeping blood pulsing through our bodies. 

 

A normal resting heart rate for adults ranges from 60 to 100 beats per minute. Let’s say your own heart rate is 72 per minute. That means in one hour, your heart beats 4,320 times. During a 24-hour day, it beats more than 100,000 times. Over the course of an entire year, it beats nearly 38 million times. That’s hard to comprehend.

 

Simple calculation tells me that in the 18 years since my surgery, my heart has beat well over 600 million times! That is, except for the brief time I was on a heart-lung machine, allowing my heart to stop so my cardiothoracic surgeon could make the necessary repairs – including an entirely new ascending aorta. Again, thankfully when the work was completed, my heart resumed beating upon being taken off the heart-lung apparatus.

 

I recall that in the days leading up to the surgery, I turned to the Psalms for comfort and assurance. One particular verse jumped out at me, as if it were printed in neon lights. It read, “The Lord will sustain him on his bed of illness and restore him from his bed of sickness” (Psalm 41:3). I encountered that passage during my regular daily reading; even if God had spoken it to me audibly it couldn’t have been clearer – or reassuring.

 

That experience has confirmed for me, more than ever, of the truth of Psalm 139:13-14, “For You created my inmost being…. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

 

Think about it: Every six months or so (if not more often), we need to bring our cars in for oil changes and other maintenance. The average car doesn’t last more than 10 years. Most appliances have an even shorter lifespan. Many buildings are erected only to be torn down 20-30 years later. But God has created our bodies in such a way that our hearts continue beating non-stop for 60, 70, 80 years – or even longer. And most of the time, without requiring invasive surgery to correct maladies.

 

We could make similar reflections about other vital organs, but the point is that in the human body the Lord created a marvelous organism that all of our ingenuity – even with its many advancements – cannot begin to replicate, much less make from scratch.

 

I’m eternally grateful to God for giving medical science the wisdom and skill to keep me ‘upright and taking nourishment,’ as they say, all these years since. It’s not a journey I would recommend for everyone, but if and when it becomes necessary, we worship a Great Physician who has put us together and knows how to fix us so we can keep going.

 

In 2 Timothy 4:7, the apostle Paul wrote to his young protégé, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” It seems my race is not yet finished, but my prayer is that in the days, months and even years to come, I will stay true to my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and when the time comes for my heart to beat for the last time, I will have finished well. I also pray that all who read this will be able to say the same.

The Amazing Thing About Being Born in Bethlehem

This scene at Lookout Mountain's Rock City depicts the birth of Christ.

You don’t have to be a follower of Jesus Christ to know He was born in the tiny, nondescript town of Bethlehem. The well-known Christmas carol, “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” ensures that. But have you ever considered that His birth there was practically a miracle?

 

Scholars tell us Jesus’ life, crucifixion and resurrection all were foretold by many prophecies, but none was more significant than that Bethlehem would be His birthplace. In the Old Testament, the prophet Micah foretold, “But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for Me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times” (Micah 5:2).

 

One of the historical marvels about Jesus is that He fulfilled every prophecy concerning the Messiah, including where He would be born. If He had failed to fulfill even one of the prophetic declarations, He wouldn’t have qualified as the promised Messiah.

But how did it come about that Bethlehem would be His place of birth? After all, Joseph – who would serve as His earthly father – and Mary, Joseph’s betrothed wife, resided in Nazareth, about 90 miles from Bethlehem. Being poor, without horses or camels available to them, and certainly not motorized transport, this trek wasn’t one they would have undertaken unless absolutely necessary.

 

Bethlehem wasn’t a vacation hotspot by any stretch of the imagination. But when Caesar Augustus decreed that everyone must return to his hometown to be counted in a census, distance and convenience didn’t matter. So, Joseph and Mary, with child by the Holy Spirit, packed up and headed for Bethlehem, the “town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David” (Luke 2:4).

 

At the time, neither Joseph nor Mary fully comprehended the magnitude of what was happening in their lives. The prophecy had clearly stated that Bethlehem, not Nazareth or any of the other towns and cities in the region, would be where the Messiah was born, but that wasn’t their reason for going there.

 

Not only was the census decree itself providential, but also its timing. Because, as preacher John MacArthur observed in one of his Christmas messages, if the decree had been issued weeks or months earlier – or later – Jesus would have been born elsewhere, thus negating the prophecy. As it happened, “While they were there [in Bethlehem], the time came for the baby to be born, and [Mary] gave birth to her firstborn, a son” (Luke 2:6).

 

Why does this matter? And what does this mean for us today? For one thing, knowing that thousands of years earlier the Messiah’s birthplace had been accurately prophesied shows that our Lord is not just the God of the big picture, but also the God of meticulous detail. There’s no room for happenstance in His divine planning. And that applies for us in whatever circumstances we’re facing.

 

Confidence in the prophecy also was why a group of wise men from the east, commonly known as Magi, undertook the arduous, time-consuming and costly journey from their homes in the Babylonian empire to Bethlehem. They understood the prophecies, dating back to the days of Daniel, so when they saw the star – God’s Positioning System (GPS) – they saddled up their camels, Bethlehem-bound.

 

No one knows for certain how long after Jesus’ birth they arrived, but what’s important is that He and His earthly parents were still there. We’re told, “On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshipped Him. Then they opened their treasures and presented Him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh” (Luke 2:11). 

 

They, as well as shepherds that angels had alerted on the holy night of Jesus’ birth, were among the first eyewitnesses to the exact fulfillment of prophecies made thousands of years earlier. It couldn’t have been a coincidence that Caesar Augustus had decreed the census at precisely the right time; that Joseph’s lineage required him to return to Bethlehem, taking Mary with him; and that the wise men had correctly calculated when and where the promised King would be born.

 

As Christ followers, we need to trust in the veracity of the Bible, from start to finish. The fulfillment of prophecies concerning Jesus’ birth was just the first of many prophetic writings He would fulfill during His life on earth, including details about His betrayal, crucifixion and resurrection.

 

During this Christmas season, whenever we glimpse a Nativity scene, it can serve as a reminder that God doesn’t make empty promises. When we read His promises to us in the Scriptures, we can have complete assurance that our Lord says what He will do, and does what He says.

Seeking the Light in the Season of Light

This image from a Jacquie Lawson e-card captures
the festivities of "the season of light."

Among the many nicknames for Christmas is “the season of light.” And rightfully so. Everywhere we look there are lights: Festive lights prominently displayed in malls and retail stores. City streets and roadways adorned with colorful lights and holiday images. Neighborhoods gaily illuminated in red, green, white and other colors. 

The Christmas tree in our home offers lighting options – all-white, all-colored lights, and if we can’t make up our mind, the lights alternate between all-white and all-colored.

 

Christmas lights have a rich tradition. Since the holiday is celebrated in December, bright lights provide a stark contrast to the cold days and dark nights we typically experience in the Northern Hemisphere. Before the advent of electricity, candles dispelled the oppressive darkness. Even today, many people employ candles to celebrate the season, whether with actual flames or those designed to replicate flickering flames but without the risk of fire.

The greatest light of all, of course, is the One for whom Christmas is celebrated. As John 8:12, tells us “When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life’.”

 

This is a declaration far more profound than artificial decorations that we drag out of storage, display for several weeks and then pack away again. In fact, literally from the very start, light is a recurring theme in the Bible. 

 

Opening the creation account, according to Genesis 1:3-4. “God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness.” 

 

In one of my devotional readings recently, the writer observed, “The Bible promises there is no darkness in God at all. That means there is no deceit, no underhandedness, no selfishness, and no manipulation. God never deceives, never misleads and never manipulates.” What a vast difference from the world in which we live, work and play.

 

Our world is hopelessly broken. If you haven’t already realized that, you can easily recognize it in ways you probably wished you didn’t. Suicides, depression, families torn apart, addictions – all are symptoms of the increasing darkness that’s surrounding us, threatening our very souls. For this reason, isn’t it good news – wonderful news – that God’s desire is to cast aside the darkness, inviting us into His incomparable light? 

 

In 1 John 1:5-7 we find this promise: “This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you. God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.”

 

On TV and in the movies, often mysteries and crime dramas unfold at night, when it’s dark and heinous acts can be carried out unseen. When the opening scene is dark, it’s a good bet that some bad stuff is about to happen. Unfortunately, in the real world the darkness caused by sin doesn’t happen only after sundown. All we have to do is watch the evening news for proof.

 

However, because of the birth of Jesus Christ, His life, teachings, death and resurrection, we can know that darkness and sin are not the victors. The apostle John, opening his narrative about Jesus, make this statement: “In Him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it” (John 1:4-5).

 

Have you noticed that light and darkness can’t coexist? When you enter a darkened room and turn on a light, darkness scatters. In a far more profound way, when Christ crashes into our lives, the darkness in our own hearts is dispelled, replaced by His incomparable light – a light that doesn’t fade over time.

 

Years ago, I came across this incredible assurance, one that continues to astound me to this day: “…I am writing a new commandment to you, which is true in Him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true Light is already shining” (1 John 2:8). 

 

This “new commandment,” as I’ve come to understand it, is that relying solely on our own devices, we might desire to do right and overcome our struggles with sin but fail repeatedly. Only through the indwelling power of Jesus Christ, by His Spirit, can we escape the overwhelming darkness and stand tall in His wonderful light.

 

Much more could be said about this. Suffice it to say, as we enjoy the glorious lights of this “season of light,” whether streaming from streetlights, draped in malls and retail stores, or gleaming from our own Christmas trees, we should remember what they symbolize: Jesus Christ, the light of the world.

Wrestling With Temptation – and Overcoming It

You’ve probably heard about the guy who said, “I can overcome everything except temptation”? Maybe you’ve said or thought something like that yourself. Temptations of every kind surround us, as pervasive as the air we breathe. And during this Christmas season, with commercials and ads bombarding us on TV, social media and phone apps, temptation seems to be surging at a frenetic rate.

It all started with Adam and Eve. They saw that first temptation – to eat of the one tree God told them not to eat from – and decided it was too enticing to resist. The result was the first sin, what theologians call “The Fall,” and humanity’s been wrestling with a sin problem ever since.

 

Temptation comes in many forms, and what’s tempting for you might not be tempting for me – and vice versa. (Emphasis on vice.) Centuries ago, someone in Christian tradition came up with a list of the “seven deadly sins”: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. But even those ‘big seven’ can manifest themselves in countless ways.

 

Lust might involve sexual desires, but can also pertain to lusting for a car, a house, a boat, an item of jewelry or piece of furniture. Anything that generates strong passion or longing, such as the lust for power or influence, or for prestige and prominence. 

 

When we think of greed, fictional characters like Ebenezer Scrooge and King Midas immediately come to mind. Individuals for whom too much was never enough. One translation of 1 Timothy 6:10 declares that “the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil.” It does not say that money is the root of everything evil, but money’s tempting powers are definitely manifested in a multitude of ways.

 

Gluttony is an interesting sin because it’s often overlooked. When was the last time you went to an all-you-can-eat church supper and found someone at the end of the line looking at your plate and saying, “Now, that’s all you can eat”?

 

Personally, I think that if there’s an actual root for every kind of evil it’s pride. Because pride – excessive regard for oneself without being concerned about the interests of others – seems to undergird every one of the big sins, and probably all of the smaller ones, too.

 

However, as I’ve often told men I was discipling and mentoring, temptation isn’t sin. Temptation is being presented with the opportunity to sin. Sin itself is acting upon the specific temptation, deciding it seems like a good idea.

 

How do we know that temptation and sin aren’t synonymous? Because as we read about Jesus Christ in Hebrews 2:18, “For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted.” Later in the same book we’re told, “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15).

 

Putting it simply, we don’t have to confess or repent being tempted. Because even Jesus was tempted. Confession and repentance are needed when we succumb to temptation – whatever it is – and commit sinful thoughts or actions.

 

The question is how do we successfully deal with temptations, fending them off so they don’t lead to sinful behavior? We can be heartened in knowing that Jesus, our Savior and Lord, experienced temptation. We can’t offer the excuse, ‘But Lord, you don’t understand.’ Because He indeed can and does understand, having faced similar temptations – and probably worse than any we could imagine.

 

This is why the next verse in Hebrews assures us, “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). God promises to provide the strength and wisdom necessary.

 

Another passage speaks directly and clearly to this perplexing issue of temptation and how to overcome it. The apostle Paul wrote to the ancient church in Corinth, offering this counsel: “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:12-13).

 

These verses contain several important points. First is the warning: If we’re feeling smug, with an attitude of ‘I’ve got this. No problem,’ beware. That might be the time we’re most vulnerable. History is littered with sad stories of spiritual ‘giants’ who fell into sins they felt confident could never touch them.

 

The second point is whatever it is, the temptation we’re facing isn’t unique. We haven’t discovered some unknown sin no one has ever experienced before. We’re not the first ones to ever deal with the temptation we might be wrestling with right now. 

 

One other key point is that in His faithfulness God promises He won’t allow us to face temptations beyond our capacity to cope with them. If we’re willing to let Him, the Lord will always provide ways out of temptation. “A way of escape,” as another translation states it.

 

An old friend, a diabetic, admitted having a weakness for Krispy Kreme donuts. He often would drive past the donut shop when its red neon sign was on, “Fresh Donuts,” beckoning to potential customers. For my friend, the ‘way of escape’ was to keep driving and resist the temptation to turn into the parking lot.

 

Temptations are everywhere. We don’t have to look for them. They’ll find us. But they don’t need to defeat us. As Paul wrote elsewhere, “I can do everything through [Christ] who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Including overcoming temptation.

Resolving the Giving Conundrum

We’ve just passed Giving Tuesday, the last of the pecuniary “triplets” of the Christmas season, following the Black Friday and Cyber Monday opportunities for eager shoppers. Giving Tuesday is probably the most important of the three, with so many charitable organizations dependent on the generosity of their supporters.

 

This issue of giving can be a bit perplexing for me. I’m not reluctant to give charitably, but so many causes deserve consideration. How do we respond to a seemingly unlimited number of possibilities with limited funds for giving?

 

My mailboxes – both email and snail mail – have been deluged by solicitations to support a wide range of needs, from hospitals to the homeless, from discipleship to diseases, from missions to Christian media. Unless you’re a millionaire – even a billionaire – you can’t support them all. How do you choose?

 

Searching the Scriptures won’t provide specifics, like ‘Support XYZ Ministry’ or ‘Give to That Foundation.’ But in His Word, God does provide clear principles on the how’s of giving, if not necessarily the what’s and the who’s. The Lord’s greatest concern, I’ve concluded, is not who benefits from our giving but the motives behind our giving.

 

Giving and generosity can be difficult to discuss, but something stirs when we hear heartwarming stories of generous, unselfish acts. The response to recent hurricanes is one example. While government agencies seemed to be spinning their wheels at times, debating what to do, individuals and Christian organizations like Samaritan’s Purse were quick to take action.

 

But we don’t have to wait for calamities to occur. Generosity can and should be a normal part of everyday life, like breathing and eating. While one doesn’t have to be a follower of Jesus Christ to be generous, giving becomes part of our “spiritual DNA” when we become “new creations in Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:17). 

 

It was Jesus Christ who declared, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). He also addressed this ‘reciprocal’ aspect of giving in another way: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Luke 6:38).

 

It would seem, according to Jesus, that if we’re willing to share from the resources the Lord has provided, He’s quite able to replace what we’ve given with more – so we can continue to be involved in this divine cycle of generosity. 

 

I’ve had the privilege of meeting and writing about numerous individuals whose commitment to giving was lavish by any standard. Industrialist R. G. LeTourneau practiced a “reverse tithe” – giving away 90% of his income and keeping 10% – rather than ‘give 10 and keep 90’ as it’s traditionally taught. 

 

Entrepreneur Stanley Tam, who died in 2023 at the age of 107, explained in his book, God Owns My Business, how he arranged to legally give 100% ownership of his company to God, with all profits used to support charitable causes and mission work. When I interviewed him, Tam quipped, without boasting, “I shovel out, and God’s shovels in. And God’s got a bigger shovel.” Wise counsel indeed from someone who practiced what he preached. 

 

Most of us, of course, aren’t in a position to take such bold steps. We may not have the spiritual gift of giving, which those men definitely had. But this doesn’t excuse us from being generous whenever God sets opportunities in front of us. Which brings us back to the conundrum: With so many worthy causes, how do we decide which to support personally?

 

Most would agree we each should start with our own churches, where we’re ministered to through worship services and other programs, and want to support their work. But I don’t believe they should be the only recipients of our charitable gifts. 

 

There’s no exact formula for singling out other beneficiaries. But we can rely on God’s leading through His Spirit, as well as recognizing which causes we feel particularly passionate about.

 

Over the years I’ve found two Bible passages especially instructive. One of them is 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 which says, “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.” 

 

The word “cheerful” could literally be translated as “hilarious.” I think of the closing scenes of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, in which transformed Ebenezer Scrooge begins bestowing his wealth on others rather than hoarding it for himself. Having abandoned his miserly ways, Scrooge becomes giddy upon realizing how generosity can enhance the lives of others.

 

If we’re giving grudgingly or feeling compelled to do so, that doesn’t please the Lord. He wants us to give freely – and excitedly.

 

One other verse also is helpful in reminding us that giving is not a seasonal activity. In 1 John 3:17 we’re told, “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?” This doesn’t mean having to respond to every panhandler we encounter, but the Lord can give us the wisdom and discernment in how best to steward the resources He has entrusted to our care.

 

If God loved us so much that He gave His own Son for our salvation and redemption, how can we refuse to give as He guides?

Finding True Meaning in ‘The Best Christmas Pageant Ever’

They’ve already started – conversations, discussions and commentaries about ‘the real meaning of Christmas.’ As if it were a topic for debate, like what color to paint the living room. The holiday rom-com movies are posing their opinions, TV commercials are offering their points of view, and familiar seasonal songs are presenting all manner of Christmas sentiments.

 

It’s heartening that a new movie, which some have already proclaimed “a Christmas classic,” provides an answer to the real-meaning-of-Christmas question that’s consistent with the biblical account. Based on the 1972 novel by Barbara Robinson, “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” offers a glimpse of annual Nativity reenactments in a way most of us have never seen or imagined.

How do you suppose people in a church would react if a gaggle of troublemakers showed up at auditions for their cherished Christmas pageant and demanded to be stars of the show? In “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever,” that’s exactly what happens. The Herdmans, six rabble rousing siblings deemed to be “the worst kids in the world,” decide to take over the town’s “sacred” tradition.

 

They steal schoolmates’ lunches, pelt neighbor kids with snowballs, use rough language, and terrorize everyone they encounter, including adults. How could youngsters like these ever be considered to take part in a calm, “we’ve always done it this way” presentation of Christ’s birth? This is what’s so compelling about the film directed by Dallas Jenkins, best-known as the director, producer and co-writer of “The Chosen” video series about Jesus Christ and His followers. 

 

“The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” is at once heartwarming, humorous, thought-provoking, tear-jerking, and maybe even a little convicting. We know Jesus came to save sinners like us – but for sinners like the Herdmans, too?

 

In the minds of some, the all-too-familiar Christmas story might provoke a ho-hum attitude, maybe a bit of a yawn. Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus swaddled in a feeding trough because of the inn that had no room for them. Shepherds, sheep and other barnyard animals, wise men, and angels. We know that story. Been there, done that. This is where “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” triumphs. It affords an opportunity to look at this timeless biblical narrative with fresh eyes.

 

The Herdmans, you see, have never heard the story. They know nothing about Mary, or Joseph, whom Imogene, ringleader of the Herdmans, calls “Joe.” They’re astounded that a king – Herod – would want to kill a little baby. And the way the angel gets the shepherds’ attention isn’t quite what we have envisioned from the Scriptures.

 

Prior to the film’s release, Jenkins said capturing Robinson’s book for the silver screen has been a lifelong dream. He, his production team and the cast have done an outstanding job, its tone evoking such holiday classics as “A Christmas Story” and “Miracle on 34^th Street.” And with an unapologetic declaration of the Gospel message.

 

In Luke 2:10, the angel declares to the lowly shepherds – who had no social clout in those days – “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” Watching the Herdmans absorb the Christmas story and undergo a slow but certain transformation, like butterflies emerging from a nondescript cocoon, we realize perhaps more than ever that this “good news of great joy” truly is for all the people.

 

Isaiah 9:6 gives the prophecy, “For a Child is born to us, a Son is given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.” Somehow, as we view this greatest story of stories through the eyes of a bunch of ragamuffins called the Herdmans, these words take on even greater meaning. Indeed, the true meaning of Christmas.

This is a film for the entire family. For many it will surely prove a highlight of the entire Christmas season. I’m eager to see it again. 

Changes in Attitude, Changes in Gratitude

Many of us remember the popular song by the late country legend Jimmy Buffett, “Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes.” Featuring a lilting Caribbean beat, the tune reflects on how traveling to different places can greatly alter one’s perspective. With the annual Thanksgiving Day celebration upon us this week, it might be fitting to revise that a bit to: Changes in Attitude, Changes in Gratitude. 

Because despite all the heartwarming commercials and seasonal movies that depict loving, happy and harmonious families overflowing with gratitude, more than a few people are probably wondering, ‘Thankful for what?’ 

 

The past weeks, months, even year might have been difficult for you. Perhaps prolonged inflation has put a tremendous strain on your finances. Maybe you have lost a loved one, or experienced the devastation of a cherished relationship that’s been broken. Or serious health issues have overshadowed all else, making it hard to feel thankful about anything.

Problems like these, as well as others, can cast a pall on a season that should be festive and joyous. How can we overcome this?

 

At such times I often think of my friend Albert, who with his family has experienced more hardship in life than most of us could imagine. And yet, he’s managed to maintain a positive, upbeat perspective in life. In fact, he wrote a booklet about his life that he titled, “Saying ‘Thank You’ Even When You Don’t Feel Thankful.”

 

This might sound strange to some, but it’s consistent with what the Scriptures teach us. One of the first Bible verses I learned admonishes us to “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). It doesn’t say to give thanks in some circumstances, or to give thanks when things are going well. It says, “in all circumstances.”

 

Admittedly, this is more easily said than done. But over and over we see examples in the Bible of people going through great trials yet managing to remain thankful. As King David wrote, “If I say ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day and darkness is as light to You” (Psalm 139:11-12).

 

The apostles Paul and James write that we should “rejoice in our sufferings…” (Romans 5:3-5), and “Consider it pure joy…whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance…” (James 1:2-4).

 

How is this possible? We could attribute it to changes in attitude, changes in gratitude. Each of these important individuals in the Bible had gone through great adversity but discovered how even in the most difficult times, God was in the midst of them. They understood the truth of Romans 8:28, that “in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

 

There’s another good reason for choosing thankfulness and gratitude in life, even when those seem contrary to what we’re going through at the time. An article published on Epoch Health, a department of the Epoch Times online newspaper, was titled, “Gratitude: An Alternative Medicine for Anger and Depression.”

 

It discussed a scientific study in 2012 that discovered individuals who cultivated and practiced gratitude experienced lower levels of aggression, even after they had been insulted. By comparison, people in a control group – who did not practice attitudes of gratitude – experienced higher levels of aggression when insulted.

 

This study, that appeared in Social Psychological and Personality Science, found that “those practicing gratitude were significantly less likely to retaliate against others. This correlation is akin to laughter interrupting physical exertion: Just as it is impossible to continue a strenuous workout while laughing, gratitude elicits a psychological state where aggression and anger find little foothold.”

The conclusion was that the impact of gratitude for displacing hostile feelings shows it to be a personal virtue, a useful tool for the fostering of positive social interactions.

 

Another study published in 2005 showed the act of writing thank-you letters increased participants’ happiness by 10 percent – and reduced their depressive symptoms by 35 percent. And apparently this was not a short-term effect. The article says, “These feelings were sustained up to six months after writing the letter, highlighting the powerful effect of [thankfulness].”

 

Moral of the story? If you’re feeling down as the Thanksgiving Day holiday approaches, determine to be thankful anyway. Practice an attitude of gratitude – even if you can’t, as the Jimmy Buffett tune suggests, change your latitude.

 

As Psalm 118:24 declares, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” This is true for Thanksgiving Day, and for every day. If He’s given us a new day, and we believe that He is good – which He is – we can and should rejoice and be glad in it. Happy Thanksgiving!

Laws and the Perpetual Problem of Evil

We’re a nation of laws, maybe more than any other country. When we elect men and women to the House and Senate, we refer to them as ‘lawmakers,’ and that’s exactly what they do – make laws.

 

We have traffic laws, zoning laws, housing laws, parking laws, and education laws. Laws for banking, food and drugs, marriage and families, animals, noise, and advertising. Even laws for enforcing laws. We have criminal laws for dealing with people that insist on breaking the law. 

 

You’d think that with all our laws and regulations, society would be orderly and law-abiding. ‘Here are our expectations. Here are the boundaries. Now do as you’re told.’ That’s hardly the case. 

 

Despite laws against operating motor vehicles under the influence of intoxicating substances, almost every day we hear about people killed by vehicles steered by drunk drivers. Laws have banned texting while driving, but we still notice drivers with their eyes down, focusing on the latest message rather than what’s happening on the road right in front of them.

Child abuse. Domestic abuse. Burglary. Robbery. Murder. Scamming. Lying. We have countless laws concerning these and other forms of bad behavior, but they persist.

 

Whenever I hear someone saying something like, “We need stricter gun laws,” I wonder about the copious laws we already have regulating the use of guns. The problem is the folks who pay no attention to them. The late Charlton Heston, when he was president of NRA, observed: “There is no such thing as a good gun. There is no such thing as a bad gun. A gun in the hands of a bad man is a very dangerous thing. A gun in the hands of a good person is no danger to anyone except the bad guys.”

 

If we want to consider the power of laws to control behavior, all we need to do is look to ancient Israel. Besides the Ten Commandments (listed in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5), God gave His chosen people many other laws. Reading through the Old Testament, it seems the Israelites delighted in how many of the laws they could ignore and how frequently they did.

 

Even “heroes” of the Old Testament, people like Jacob, Moses, Samson, King David, King Solomon and Hezekiah, had an amazing propensity for disobedience. They knew the laws yet defied them in many ways.

 

This isn’t to say we shouldn’t have laws. They’re important and we need them. Without speed limits on our roads, some drivers would exhibit reckless disregard for the safety of others and themselves. There’s a reason we have laws against taking merchandise from stores without paying for them. But no matter how stringent, those determined to break laws will continue doing so.

 

The problem isn’t that laws aren’t clear enough, or we don’t have enough of them. It’s more basic than that. The problem is the perpetual presence of evil, as it’s been from the beginning of history. Adam and Eve were given one simple law, “…you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die” (Genesis 2:17).

 

It wasn’t that there were too many laws to keep up with. They had one law, just one. God said they could eat of any other tree in the Garden of Eden. So, what did they do? They ate fruit from the one that was off limits.

 

Since then, every individual born into this world has been doing what seems to come naturally: Rebelling against God, His laws, precepts and statutes. “But we’re only human!” is the excuse. In one sense that’s true. We read in Romans 3:23, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Perhaps there’s a spiritual component to our genetic makeup and we’re behaving according to a ‘sin gene.’

 

In the words of the old hymn, “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” we’re “prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.” This wandering is a result of the perplexing appeal of evil. As has been stated more than once, “If sin wasn’t fun, we wouldn’t want to do it.”

 

How do we respond? Forget about making laws? Resign ourselves to people just doing what they’re going to do? From what I hear, that’s kind of the conclusion some states have made. But there’s a better answer.

 

In Jesus Christ, who called Himself “the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6), we find the capacity to turn away from evil, to say no to sin. When we become born again as new creations in Christ (John 3:3, 2 Corinthians 5:17) we step outside the “I’m only human” box. The Lord not only gives us new life spiritually but also the desire to pursue right and reject wrong.

 

The apostle Paul expressed it this way in Romans 8:2-4, “…through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering…that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.”

 

This isn’t saying we should cease making laws since our “sinful nature” doesn’t like obeying them. But it also doesn’t say the only reason for pointing people to Jesus is to get them “saved” and assured of going to heaven when they die. He wants us to become living, breathing, law-keeping examples of what a life transformed by the power of Christ looks like. 

 

Other stanzas from “Come Thou Fount…” say it well:

“Jesus sought me when a stranger,
  Wand’ring from the face of God;
He, to save my soul from danger,
  Interposed His precious blood….

 

Take my heart, oh, take and seal it
  With Thy Spirit from above.
Rescued thus from sin and danger,
  Purchased by the Savior’s blood,
May I walk on earth a stranger,  

As a son and heir of God.” 

Are We Missing Out on the ‘Secret Sauce’?

Recently I read a concerning report about the current state of the Church in America. Weekly church attendance was once part of the fabric of everyday life in America. However, according to the Barna Group, a prominent research organization that studies churches and trends in evangelical Christianity, only 20 percent of Americans report they attend worship services every week. 

 

The same research includes a slightly more positive indicator: Just over 40 percent of people surveyed say they attend church once a month or more. But many people visit the doctor’s office that much, so that isn’t saying a lot. This also means nearly 60 percent of people in our country seldom or never attend a religious service.

 

We know that attending church doesn’t make one a true follower of Jesus Christ any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. But it’s still troubling that the tradition of “Sunday going to meeting” seems to have become a relic of the past. Why is that? 

 

It’s not like evangelical denominations and congregations haven’t tried to keep up with the times. For many years the King James Version of the Bible was the only translation used. But in recent decades numerous translations and paraphrases have been produced and published, overcoming the complaint that “the Bible is hard to read.”

 

The high quality of books, videos, audio recordings, websites, and other technology have helped churches fit into the 21^st century. And the contemporary worship and praise music we hear today has complemented, and often usurped, traditional hymns and liturgy.

 

Many churches have introduced small groups to help in building community, along with special interest groups for people going through divorce, grieving, adopting, addiction recovery, parenting, and other interest areas.

 

There have been huge strides in entertainment media as well. Christian movies no longer hide in church basements. The production, writing and acting in many films these days compare favorably with the secular standard. Some well-known actors are going public with their faith, happily cast in films that make Christ the central focus.

 

So, what’s the problem? Why isn’t the Church having more impact in society these days? Is there a missing ingredient in God’s recipe for vitality and fruitfulness within the body of Christ? Are we lacking a “secret sauce”?

 

Before ascending to heaven, Jesus gave a final charge to His followers. It’s often called His Great Commission: “All authority has been given to Me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20).

 

Many congregations have adopted various evangelistic strategies and approaches for presenting the Gospel message to non-believers. Some refer to this as “soul winning.” However, even when successful, many times they’ve only made converts, “baby Christians” wondering, “Now what do I do?” Like human children, these new believers need to be fed, nurtured, comforted, even assisted in cleaning up their messes. 

 

In His Commission, the Lord clearly instructed us to “make disciples.” This involves investing time and energy to teach and show these babes in Christ how to grow into strong, devoted, spiritually reproducing followers of Jesus.

 

What does it mean to disciple someone – to make disciples? Isn’t that what happens at worship services, Sunday school, and small groups? Those are all good, contributing toward the overall goal, but aren’t the biblical model for making disciples.

 

A powerful description is found in the second letter the apostle Paul wrote to the younger man he was discipling, Timothy: “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others” (2 Timothy 2:2). This single verse shows four generations of believers – you (Timothy), me (Paul), reliable men, and others.

 

We might call this spiritual multiplication, hearkening to God’s command way back in the first chapter of Genesis: “God blessed them and said, ‘Be fruitful and multiply…’” (Genesis 1:28). Having already said one verse earlier His intent was to create human beings “in His own image, in the image of God…male and female He created them,” the Lord desired not only an increase in numbers but also people in His own image.

 

During His earthly ministry, Jesus had lots of people following Him, many being curiosity seekers. But He had 12 disciples with whom He spent countless hours round the clock for three years. They met together as a group, but there also were many occasions when He spent time with them individually. Today we’d call it mentoring, or one-on-one discipling.

 

The apostle Paul, himself mentored/discipled after his conversion by Barnabas, followed the same model. In letters to the various churches, we see he was always traveling with at least one other man –Timothy, Silas, Titus, Sosthenes, and others.

 

I’ve benefited from ministries that have made disciple-making central to their work. After I became a believer, God guided me into a discipleship program created by The Navigators. When I joined the staff of CBMC I learned how to come alongside other men and help them in their desire to grow in Christ.

 

There’s something about the very personal, candid spiritual relationship you can build with another person through one-on-one discipling. It provides a setting where trust and vulnerability are cultivated, where no question is a dumb question, confidences are protected, and both disciple-maker and disciple can grow together, learning from each other.

 

It’s a place where, even with our imperfections, we can say as did Paul, “Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you” (Philippians 3:17). Understanding his complete dependence on Christ, Paul could boldly say, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).

 

Maybe a renewed vision for making disciples is the “secret sauce” today’s Church desperately needs.

The Joy of Rebounding from Failure

What are you afraid of? An airplane crashing into your house? The boogeyman? Walking under a ladder?

 

An online search reveals there are hundreds, many even thousands of fears. The technical term for them is ‘phobias.’ There are common ones like fear of spiders (arachnophobia); fear of closed spaces (claustrophobia); fear of heights (acrophobia); fear of flying (aerophobia); and fear of crowds (agoraphobia).

 

There also are some less common ones, such as fear of needles (trypanophobia); fear of men (androphobia); fear of computers (cyberphobia); fear of beautiful women (venustraphobia); fear of small things (microphobia); and fear of hospitals (nosocomephobia). There’s even fear of vacuum cleaners (zuigerphobia). Do people with that phobia avoid making sweeping generalizations?

 

One fear most of us experience at one time or another is atychiphobia. What’s that? It’s a fancy name for the fear of failure. In its most extreme form, an atychiphobic person might find daily life difficult – avoiding or postponing tasks, suffering from panic or anxiety, or feeling scared about taking risks or embracing growth opportunities.

 

I’ve been atychiphobic at times, resisting the desire to try or learn new or unfamiliar things, thinking, ‘What if I try and fail?’ I remember years ago when I accepted a job to work with CBMC (Christian Business Men’s Connection). We lived in Houston at the time and were moving to Chattanooga, so I told my pastor about our relocation and my transition to the new position.

 

He caught me off guard by suggesting, “I think you should get up during the service and tell everyone what you’ll be doing.” What?! (Years before I had been asked to speak at another church but became so nervous I barely got through what I had to say.) I’d be staring at hundreds of faces, even though I knew many of them. What if I got up there and started stammering, or forgot what I wanted to say?

 

So, I responded, “No, I couldn’t do that.” However, my pastor persisted, asking me to pray about it. I did and eventually felt God wanted me to step out of my comfort zone and trust Him. I felt anxious that Sunday morning, but prayed, “Lord, enable me to tell everyone about this new door You’ve given me.” 

 

When the moment came, I stepped to the pulpit and suddenly felt a sense of calm. God got me through the brief talk without making a fool of myself. Rebounding from my past failure was an important step of obedience. In the years since, the Lord has given me opportunities to speak in a variety of places.

 

In the Bible we encounter many individuals who suffered great failures but managed to rebound from them to experience victory in their walk with the Lord. One of my favorites is John Mark, a cousin of Barnabas, a leader in the early Church and mentor for the apostle Paul.

 

We first meet John Mark, also known as Mark, in Acts 12:12. He accompanied Barnabas and Paul on a missionary journey to Antioch and Cyprus, but for some unspecified reason abandoned the group at a later stop. Perhaps he’d grown homesick or found traveling too arduous. In any event, at that point Mark parted ways with Barnabas and Paul. 

 

Then he apparently reconsidered what might have been a rash decision. Barnabas and Paul were planning to revisit the cities on their first mission trip, and “Barnabas wanted to take John, called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work" (Acts 15:37-39).

 

Can you blame Paul? The mission trips they were undertaking were demanding, even dangerous. As someone who placed great value on “faithful men” (2 Timothy 2:2), he didn’t want to be held back by someone who seemed unreliable.

 

Barnabas, however, disagreed. It might have been the family relationship or that, as with Paul, he saw promise in John Mark that others didn’t. In any event, we’re told, “[Paul and Barnabas] had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus” (Acts 15:39).

 

Happily, that’s not the last we hear of John Mark. Barnabas must have done well in taking his cousin under his wing, because twice Paul mentions the young man in his epistles. To believers in the city of Colossae, he writes, “My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you greetings, as does Mark the cousin of Barnabas. You have already received instructions about him: If he comes to you, welcome him” (Colossians 4:10).

 

And in a letter to his protégé Timothy, Paul states, “Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11). How’s that for a resounding word of confidence?

 

Even at that, the greatest testimony to John Mark’s rebound from failure is the fact that he is credited as the author of the gospel of Mark. Not bad for a young guy who at one point bailed during an important missionary journey.

 

There’s a lesson here for us all. If atychiphobia is holding us back, fear of failing because of past failures, or hesitation about trying something new or different, remember John Mark. If he can do it, so can we.

Now Is Not the Time to Stop Praying

Election Day is over. That means, mercifully, annoying political TV ads have ceased, mailboxes are no longer overflowing with promotional flyers touting this candidate or that, and phone calls and texts generated by many campaigns no longer plague us.

 

In some quarters there’s been great celebration and rejoicing, while elsewhere there’s been grumbling and gnashing of teeth. Prior to the election, some celebrities boldly declared if their candidate did not win, they’d be leaving the country. No word on whether they’ve obtained their plane tickets yet.

 

Days before the election there was a call for prayer, asking God to guide the outcome. Millions of men and women answered that call. Many of them were pleased with how they believe the Lord responded, but others were not. Either way, since then the sun has continued to rise and set. Soon thoughts will shift to more immediate matters, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas.

 

But before moving on, let’s revisit this matter of prayer and its role regarding what transpires in the public square. For some of us, prayer is an activity we undertake only in times of crisis and distress. Hence the eagerness of many to engage in praying for the outcome of the recent election. But God never intended for prayer to be a tool for crisis management.

 

We’re told in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 (the first Bible verse I ever learned) to, “pray without ceasing.” As another translation expresses it, “pray continually.” To pray we don’t need to retreat to a special place, or to assume a specific posture. We can do it in the car (with eyes open), during a business meeting (no need to fold hands), in the midst of a conversation, or while cleaning a bathroom. Even in the middle of the night if we awaken and God brings someone or something to mind.

 

Too rarely do many of us remember the admonition of 1 Timothy 2:1-2, “I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone – for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.” 

 

Years ago, I had a good friend who said he was praying every day not only for family members, friends and people he knew, but also – by name – for the leaders of the then-Soviet Union. I probably scratched my head then, wondering why we should pray for atheistic, Communist authorities. But my friend prayed – and on Nov. 9, 1989, the Berlin wall fell. Not long afterward, the U.S.S.R. collapsed. 

 

Did this all occur because of my friend’s faithful prayers? I suspect he was just one of many whom God had impressed to pray in such a way. He understood clearly the biblical instruction that “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God” (Romans 13:1).

 

Which brings us back to the current state of our nation and its impending transition of power. Whether we appreciated the outcome of the election or not, there’s no better time than now to commit to faithfully praying for “all those in authority,” that God would direct their deliberations and decisions. 

 

My own prayers will include the request that steps will be taken to return the United States to being a nation that recognizes and honors the involvement of God in the affairs of humankind. Our U.S. currency still declares, “In God We Trust,” and the Pledge of Allegiance, whenever it’s recited, includes the words, “One Nation Under God.”

 

Psalm 33:12 declares, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people He chose for His inheritance.” Some may disagree, but I believe one reason our country has prospered is because it was established with Judeo-Christian principles – drawn from the Scriptures – as its foundation. Can we expect His continued blessings if we as a society persist in drifting further and further from Him? 

 

In less than two years, our nation will be observing the 250^th anniversary of its founding – its semiquincentennial. (I’ve just added that word to my vocabulary.) This is a duration longer than many revered societies over the course of history have endured, so we’d hope to find the United States of America in a healthy place on July 4, 2026.

A good start toward that end would be a regular observance, as I’ve noted in the past, of the exhortation from 2 Chronicles 7:14, “if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” 

Love Demonstrated in Discipline

When I was growing up, discipline was a daily part of my life. As a little boy I learned that talking disrespectfully – what we now call “acting out” – or disobeying what I had been asked to do or not to do, soon resulted in a meeting with the “board of education.” As I got older, paddling no matter made sense. After all, I was a head taller than my mom. But one look from her would quickly convict me that I’d done something wrong.

 

This was not unusual in those days. Just about every kid I knew experienced discipline in some form. We were taught to respect our elders, teachers, anyone in a role of authority – and also were expected to act accordingly. 

 

Things seem to have changed a lot since my ‘olden days.’ Teachers, even those impassioned by their desire to teach and have a positive influence on young minds, are burning out quickly and resigning. This is often because their classrooms have turned into chaos. A variety of factors have contributed to this, but one of the big ones is that discipline too often isn’t taking place in the home, so young people haven’t been taught to behave in proper ways and be respectful in school.

 

Classrooms aren’t the only places where this occurs. I’ve observed toddlers in grocery stores and other public places totally out of control, and all their parents do is shrug their shoulders. To them, little Jasper’s or Josie’s misbehavior is nothing more than their efforts at self-expression. They’re expected to make their own choices about how to act.

 

It’s interesting that in the book of Proverbs, discipline is a recurring topic. It seems important, a matter close to the heart of God. To parents who think their 2- and 3- and 5-year-olds are wise enough to make their own decisions, Proverbs 22:15 states, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.”

 

As I’ve observed with my own children and grandchildren, to tell them not to do something because it’s in their best interest is often a sure-fire way for seeing them attempt to do it. Wisdom is acquired from time and experience; foolishness is something we’re born with.

 

For that reason, discipline is crucial if we desire to see our children grow up to be responsible adults and become good decision-makers. This doesn’t mean beating a child or responding to their wrong behavior in unrestrained anger. That’s abuse. But discipline – the parent’s desire to guide the child in doing what’s right and proper – is actually a manifestation of love. Proverbs 13:24 tells us, “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.”

 

We’re all born with what the Bible calls a “sinful nature” (Romans 7:25, 8:3, Colossians 2:11 and many other passages). This means having a rebellious spirit – against God and anyone in authority. Some might term it, ‘doing what comes naturally.’ How do we combat that, in ourselves as well as in our children?

 

Ultimately, it’s through the power of Jesus Christ, with His Holy Spirit working in us. In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we’re told that everyone who places their faith in Christ becomes “a new creation.” But as parents we also have the responsibility for teaching and helping children to discern right from wrong. As Proverbs 29:15 points out, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.”

 

I think as parents and grandparents, most if not all of us have a primary desire to see our children prosper, live happy and fulfilling lives, and avoid the dire consequences of sin as much as possible. Loving, godly discipline is one of the tools for working toward that goal: “Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; he will also delight your soul” (Proverbs 29:17).

 

Even when children are young, there’s an urgency, as Proverbs 22:6 admonishes, to “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” If we don’t provide instruction and guidance in how they should live, we can be assured someone else will. This is why Proverbs 19:18 warns, “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.” Discipline can serve a warning sign: Danger Ahead!

As preacher John MacArthur has pointed out, “Early childhood teaching requires both parental discipline, including corporal punishment, and balanced kindness and love.” If we truly love our children, discipline is part of the package, even though it might be difficult at times. To withhold discipline when warranted is to fail in loving them properly.