Upon receiving his award for Most Valuable Player in the
NBA, Oklahoma City superstar Kevin Durant gave an emotional homage to his
mother, who as a single parent raised Durant and his brother. It was a
wonderful, stirring tribute to a woman who had toiled and sacrificed mightily
to provide a livelihood for her sons. But underlying Durant’s glowing words of
gratitude was an unanswered question: Where was their dad?
In no way do I wish to diminish the loving devotion demonstrated
by Durant’s mom. She – and all single mothers like her – deserve accolades for
the incredible challenge they accept each day in holding down jobs while also
raising their children, hoping to build them into responsible, productive
adults. The mom of Dr. Ben Carson deserves similar commendation, providing the
inspiration and motivation for a young man who came from the ghetto to gain
acclaim as an accomplished neurosurgeon, author, speaker and – in the view of
some – become a credible candidate for President.
Yet for every wonderful story about a single mother and her
family, there’s also a back-story of an father missing in action. In many cases
the dad never played much of a role in the lives of his progeny; sadly, in too
many cases the biological father was absent from day one.
Having joined my wife in raising our children, and now
watching them guide their children (our grandchildren) through the various
stages and phases of childhood, I know how difficult the job of parenting is.
How a single parent can pull it off successfully is almost beyond my
comprehension. Ecclesiastes 4:9 states, “Two
are better than one, because they have a good return for their work.” This
passage clearly relates to the workplace, but also holds strong meaning for the
home and parenthood.
I greatly admire my sons-in-law as I observe their devotion
to nurturing their own children. In some cases they’ve made work decisions to
ensure they don’t spend too much time away from the kids. Regrettably, I think
back to my own career as a newspaper editor and have to admit I spent far too
many hours at the office and not nearly enough watching our daughters grow up.
If I could do it over again, yes, I would do it differently.
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| My father, shown with me and my sister, wasn't a man of many words, but he served as a good example. |
My own dad was not a hugging, touchy-feely type of man. Few
from his generation were. But he modeled for me the virtues of hard work,
integrity and marital fidelity. He, like myself, wasn’t extremely vocal, but
his actions spoke loudly and true.
I think of my uncle Joe, my dad’s brother, who in many
respects served as a second father. He also built into me a work ethic, a
vision of what I could be, and instilled a sense of confidence. Many times
after some professional accomplishment, I couldn’t help but wonder, "What Uncle Joe would think about this?”
The Bible speaks extensively about fathers and their
importance for society as well as the family. The Scriptures assign fathers the
primary responsibility for spiritual training of children, a role too many
fathers today have neglected. “Fathers,
do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and
instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). They – along with mothers – are told
to provide instruction and discipline. “Train
them (your children) up in the way they should go (follow their natural bent),
and when they are old they will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
When fathers do wrong, there are consequences. The Bible
speaks of the “sins of the fathers”
affecting multiple generations of children (Exodus 34:7). This doesn’t mean God
holds children responsible for their father’s misdeeds, as other passages make
clear, but they often endure “collateral damage.” We see this today with the
rise of broken homes and the emotional toll children suffer; abuse in the home,
and many other problems resulting from family strife.
But this Sunday, Father’s Day, is a time to focus on the
positive, celebrating the vital contribution dedicated, caring dads have in
their homes and society.
It’s also a time for remembering the only one we can count
on with complete confidence, our heavenly Father – Jehovah God. Jesus assured
His followers, “do not worry, saying,
‘What shall we eat?” or ‘What shall we drink?’ or “What shall we wear?’…your
heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his
righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew
6:31-33).
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