‘I Love You”: The Familiar Phrase With So Many Meanings

“I love you.” When you hear that, what comes to your mind? When you say it, what do you mean?

 

In a few days we’ll be celebrating Valentine’s Day, the annual event dedicated to love. (In the case of retailers, it’s the love of money – the result of increased sales of flowers, candies, jewelry, and anything else someone can think of that represents their affection for another.) We see commercials with the Valentine’s theme, and the Hallmark channels use it as an excuse for more of what they do – show movies about schmaltzy, sentimental love.

However, thanks to the multi-tasking nature of the English language, when someone says, “I love you,” we almost need to ask, “What do you mean by that?”

 

Because expressions of love can mean just about anything. We can love our dog, our car, our job, our favorite TV show, a warm, sunny day, or our favorite sports team. Each use of love carries very different meaning. We can love our spouse (or significant other), and love our children – our love can be just as intense, but it doesn’t mean the same and the way we demonstrate it is different. And love for God has a meaning all its own.

 

We read a lot about love in the Bible, but the ancient Greeks had numerous words for love that covered a broad range of meaning. “Philia” refers to affectionate regard, or friendship. The city of Philadelphia got its name from this word. “Storge” refers to affection, particularly between parents and children. “Eros” was the word for sexual passion; we get the word “erotic” from this. But most commonly used is “agape,” which typically refers to selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love.

 

The latter usage is the focus of 1 Corinthians 13, that favored passage often inserted into marriage ceremonies, sometimes with serious intent and other times to confer a sanctified tone. But it says: 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

 

After declaring that, “Love never fails,” this passage concludes, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:4-13).

 

We often hear the phrase, “What the world needs now is love.” And so it does. But what it – and we – need is not the warm, fuzzy, mushy kind of love, but the kind described above, that intentionally and determinedly puts others first, setting personal agendas aside.

 

As for Valentine’s Day, which is the best kind of love to have? Friendship, affection, sexual passion, or sacrificial, unconditional love? How about all of them? They’re all important, invaluable parts of the whole, one being incomplete without all of the others. Sealed with love for God and His love for us, they cannot be conquered.

 

After all, as John 3:16 emphatically declares, “For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Imagine divine love so deep, and so wide, that even the outstretched arms and hands of Jesus Christ – on a crude, cruel cross on a desolate hillside in Jerusalem – couldn’t begin to contain its measure! 

Dog-gone Canines!

A friend of mine recently wrote a loving tribute after his family’s dog died. I can relate to their loss. Been there, done that. Several times.

Canines somehow manage to work their way into your heart with a wag of a tail – and then stay there. They arrive with trusting eyes, wagging so hard their whole body shakes, ready to lick your hand or face whenever you’re near. You can leave them and when you return, they’re patiently waiting. No recrimination, no pouting, just a look that says, “Hey, you’re home! Hooray!”

When mankind decided to domesticate dogs, it was one of the best ideas ever. For many people, they do become man’s best friend – you can ignore them, neglect them, even forget to feed them, and they’re still there for you. They’ll fetch a ball or stick, delight in a dog biscuit, and lie down just about anywhere you let them. When you call them, they scamper to your feet.

I’ve never fancied cats. They seem so…disinterested. But dogs are a different animal – literally and figuratively. If you ever want to see a good example of unconditional love, get a dog. Feed it a couple of times, give it a treat, pat its head or rub its tummy, and you’ve got a buddy for life.

In my lifetime I’ve had six dogs. My first real experience was Markham, a Toy Manchester Terrier we got “pre-owned.” A previous owner had abused him. When we first saw him, his tail was between his legs, his ears were folded down, and he flinched whenever you reached out to him.

But he got over the mistreatment he’d received and proved to be a great dog with a wonderful temperament. While I was single, a couple of my dates referred to him as “a rat,” because he was small and mostly black. That was the last Markham and I would see of them. “Love me, love my dog” was my motto.

He lived to be nearly 15 years old and set the stage for my becoming a lifelong dog lover.

Now we have a Chihuahua-terrier mix named Molly. She’s 14 and doesn’t hear anything but loud noises, so if you want her to scamper to you, you have to make a commotion. But she’s the latest – and perhaps last – in a line of good dogs. I’m now at the age myself where another dog could outlive me, so Molly might not have a successor.

On a deeper level, I think when God created dogs He had a very special purpose for them. Yes, some actually have work to do, like herding sheep or cattle, leading the blind, sniffing out crime, or catching varmints. But as I mentioned, they also demonstrate love without conditions, independent of the owner’s performance. They accept you, warts and all.

This is also one of the great distinctions between what the Bible reveals about God and perspectives other spiritual disciplines offer: Only in the Scriptures do we see love offered, unconditionally and undeservedly, by the Lord of the universe.

In the original Greek of the New Testament, the word that expresses this is “agape.” Not a warm, fuzzy kind of love at all, but a sacrificial, selfless love. The kind we rarely see in everyday life.

But more than 2,000 years ago it was on public display on a cross atop a hill of disgrace. Romans 5:8 states, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Chronologically speaking, Jesus paid the price for our sins long before each of us even thought of committing the first one.

That’s why in a few weeks we will observe "Christ-mas." Because without the incredible, unconditional love freely poured out on the Cross, there would be no reason for Christmas.