Consulting the ‘Map’ for Avoiding Life’s Everyday Perils

Can you imagine being a soldier deployed in a war zone somewhere in the Middle East, Iraq or Afghanistan perhaps, and being sent out on a mission on foot or by transport vehicle? You know the intended route is littered with IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices), but you have no clue where they are. 

 

What might that be like? Sadly, many in our military have experienced that firsthand, suffering grave injuries or even losing their lives when one of those lethal devices detonated. If only they had been able to refer to a guide – a map of some kind – that could pinpoint the location of each IED or other enemy threats so they could steer clear of them. 

 

Pastor Tony Evans made reference to this on a recent radio broadcast, observing that in many ways our journey through life presents us with similar perils. They might not be physical explosions, but have the capacity to blow up our lives apart in other ways. We call them temptations. They present themselves to us without warning, threatening to set us off course or even stop us dead in our tracks. How can we avoid them?

Fortunately, we have a safety guide, a “map” called the Bible. At times life seems to throw us into harm’s way at every turn, imperiling our health, marriages, families, careers, finances, even our goals and aspirations. Throughout the Scriptures we find principles and truths to help us navigate around the potholes, dead ends and unwanted detours we encounter along the way.

 

We can find beneficial teachings throughout the Bible, but for many years the book of Proverbs has been one of my favorites to find practical, down-to-earth wisdom for virtually every aspect of life. I compiled an book, Business At Its Best: Timeless Wisdom from Proverbs for Today’s Workplace, citing principles and practices Proverbs offers for folks who spend many hours each week in the marketplace. But Proverbs is just as relevant for teachers, homemakers, married couples, parents, pilots, mechanics, mentors and counselors.

 

Suppose you have a problem with anger, tempted to flare into a destructive rage with little provocation. We find words of caution such as these: “A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult” (Proverbs 12:16) and, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Proverbs 29:11). To show how common the issue of unrestrained anger is, we’re provided many other passages on this topic.

 

Maybe you’re a person who isn’t always careful about the things you say. Consider these: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). Or, “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down” (Proverbs 26:20). And then there’s my personal favorite, one I’ve had to put into use many times, “When there are many words, transgression is not avoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).

 

Early in my adult life I thought credit cards were magical. I didn’t need money in my checking account; all I had to do was “charge it.” Only later did I learn the consequences of accumulated debt and compound interest. Thankfully I came across this admonition: “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). I became much more judicious in the use of credit cards and readily available credit.

 

When it comes to decision-making, it’s easy to proceed without considering all perspectives. As they say, we want what we want when we want it. But there’s great wisdom in seeking the advice of people we trust: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22) and, “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise” (Proverbs 19:20).

 

Husbands may be tempted to take their wives for granted, but Proverbs reminds us they can be among God’s greatest blessings: “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord” (Proverbs 19:14). And most of Proverbs 31 is devoted to extolling the virtues of a godly wife, starting with, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies,” and concluding,“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised…” (Proverbs 31:30).

 

Integrity and honesty are all-or-nothing virtues. You can’t have a little bit of integrity, or be fairly honest. As Proverbs 11:3 says, “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity,” and “A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare” (Proverbs 21:6).

 

We’ve probably all felt repulsed by people displaying excessive pride and ego. On the other hand, almost invariably we’re drawn to people who display a humble spirit. We see confirmation of this in the book of Proverbs: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2) and, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). We also find this principle: “Humility and the fear of the Lord bring wealth and honor and life” (Proverbs 22:4).

 

There are many other topics we could look at, but even these listed are just the tip of the iceberg of the great wealth of wisdom we find in Proverbs, not to mention the other 65 books of the Bible. Spend a little time in the Scriptures, even use a handy reference to research topics of particular interest to yourself. You’ll find a true roadmap for everyday life, preparing you for the inevitable traps and hazards that pop up along the way.

 

As a passage from the New Testament declares, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Often that “way out” is recalling and implementing God’s promises in His Word.

The Perverse Pleasure of Demeaning and Diminishing

“If you can’t say something bad about somebody, don’t say anything at all!”

It seems this twist on a familiar adage unfortunately has become a motto for many these days, whether on social media, the news media, or even in casual conversation. Never miss a chance to demean, disparage, denigrate or diminish. Whatever you do, don’t say anything nice.

Case in point, within hours of Dr. Billy Graham’s passing, a major newspaper published a feature article about his family, implying that as he was aggressively preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in various parts of the world, he was failing his children at home.

Just because we know something,
that doesn't obligate us to say it.

One might explain this as the periodical’s attempt to present an accurate, three-dimensional portrayal of the famed evangelist, including his flaws. They certainly had the right to do so, as our Constitution’s First Amendment guarantees. I have no quibble with this; it was the timing that troubled me.

Having been a journalist for many years, I know it’s common practice to prepare obituaries of the famous and infamous well in advance, in the event of their passing, expected or not. I’ve written some of those myself. So this “news” story of struggles within the Graham family obviously had been poised for publication, knowing the preacher’s advanced age and declining health. Even though these accounts were hardly breaking news, having already been acknowledged in books by Dr. Graham and several of his offspring, it seemed clear the intent was to emphasize his feet of clay. (Which we all have.)

This is just one example among many of society’s eagerness to expose the darker side of any well-known individual, sometimes even before the flesh has grown cold or the body’s been interred. But one need not hold qualifications for “Who’s Who” to receive similar treatment.

We’ve all felt dismay about the rise of social media bullying, individuals verbally pummeling anyone they choose, cowardly acts committed with computers and smart devices in the safety of their homes. What an curious practice, seeking to enhance one’s self-image by attacking others.   

Technology has conveniently placed at our fingertips the capacity for demeaning other individuals – and groups. But it’s hardly a new phenomenon – it’s as old as humankind. In fact, the Bible has much to say about this timeless form of antagonism.

Proverbs 12:18 tells us, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Elsewhere in the same chapter we read the antithesis, how encouraging words can have a profound, uplifting impact on the hearers: “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up” (Proverbs 12:25).

This isn’t calling for a Pollyanna perspective on life, ignoring problems, pain and peculiarities. But it takes little or no talent to identify faults in others – even as we ignore or minimize flaws of our own. It may take a bit more effort to form expressions of kindness and compassion, but they can do far more than we might imagine to help in making our world a better place.

As Proverbs 16:21 declares, “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.” When we hear juicy reports about others, whether it’s someone we know only through programs like “Entertainment Tonight” or our neighbor down the street, it’s easy to rush to a friend so we can let them in on the “news.” But as we’re cautioned by Proverbs 18:8, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels, they go down to a man’s inmost parts.”

Rather than succumbing to that temptation, it might be far better to remind ourselves that, “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9). There’s something tantalizing about knowing “inside information” we can share with others, but that doesn’t obligate us to broadcast it to everyone else. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered” (Proverbs 17:27).

We might not be the editors of an established publication making decisions about what to print and not to print about someone. But we all have it within our power to determine what we say about others, what we don’t say – and even how we say it. As Proverbs 15:23 notes, “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word!”

The True, the Good, and the Useful

A story is told about the time someone approached Greek philosopher, Socrates, to tell him something about his friend. Before letting the person proceed, Socrates decided to ask three questions.

The first was, “Is it true? Are you absolutely sure it’s true?” The individual wanting to share the information wasn’t certain it was true, but presumed it was. Socrates’s second question was, “Is what you’re going to tell me good?” He elaborated, “If not, are you wanting to tell me something that isn’t good, and you’re not certain it’s true?”

Socrates proceeded with the third question. “Even if you don’t know whether what you’re about to say is true, and it’s not good, can you tell me this: Is it useful? Because if what you’re intending to say isn’t good, might not be true, and is not useful, then why say it at all?”

Jay Shetty, described as a motivational and lifestyle blogger, and a former monk, told this story in one of his video posts. He closed with this observation: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”

It would be good to start learning 
early in life to speak only what is 
true, good and helpful.

Does this describe anyone you know? We hear an incredible lot of talk about people – famous, not so famous, and infamous – but how often do the speakers (including ourselves) pause first to ask if what we’re about to say is true, good, or useful?

Apparently, this is hardly a new phenomenon. It dates to the beginning of time, probably. In fact, we have proof. After Adam and Eve defied God by eating from the one tree He had declared off limits for them, Adam not only invented the fine art of passing the buck, but also failed miserably in the true, good, and useful test.

When the Lord (fully knowing the answer) asked, “Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you to eat from?” redhanded Adam immediately replied, “The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it” (Genesis 3:11-12). Way to go, Adam! If you’re going to sin, might as well do it big time, right? He even indirectly blamed God for his wrongdoing.

It’s clear that harmful speech has been a perpetual problem afflicting humankind. The book of Proverbs is filled with admonitions against misusing the tongue and its power. For instance, “Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips” (Proverbs 4:24). It also offers this contrast: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

In all, I counted more than 50 verses in Proverbs that address speech in its uses, misuses and abuses. But in case we overlooked that book, God included exhortations in other parts of the Bible. The apostle James wrote about the dilemma of trying to tame the tongue, noting it “is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body” (James 3:6). Later he concluded, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be” (James 3:9-10).

Getting back to Socrates’s true, good, and useful criteria for talking about others, the same standard is presented in Ephesians 4:29, which says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

I don’t know about you, but the next time I start to say something about someone else – a family member, friend, acquaintance, celebrity or politician – I’m going to do my best to first ask, “Is it true? Is it good? Is it useful?”