Coping With All the Foolishness

Have you noticed foolishness on the increase in our society today? Seems it’s growing in epidemic proportions, whether on TV, social media, personal conversations, public debates, even from the pulpits of more than a few churches. Sometimes you can’t help thinking, “Huh? Say what?! Are you serious?”

I won’t get into specifics, because I’m aware that what one person perceives as foolishness is what someone else understands as good sense. Kind of like one man’s junk being another man’s treasure. But recently I came across some good suggestions on how to deal with fools and their folly whenever you encounter them.

For many years I’ve made an almost-daily practice of reading the chapter of Proverbs corresponding to the date of the month. So the day I’m writing this, I’ve turned to the 26^thchapter of Proverbs, which has much to say about fools and folly. Obviously, foolishness isn’t an innovation of the 20^th or 21^st centuries. King Solomon, who wrote much of Proverbs, had to cope with his share of fools several thousand years ago. He demonstrated foolishness at times in his own life. So he devoted portions of several chapters to sharing his conclusions.

Proverbs aren’t written as commands, but rather as principles. Or probabilities. Even if you never read any other parts of the Bible, from the book of Proverbs you can glean an abundance of insights into the human condition and practical wisdom on how to live. What struck me most as I read this particular chapter were verses 4 and 5, which at first glance seem to contradict each other. Except they don’t.

They advise, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.” Uh, okay, Solomon, which is it? Should we respond to a foolish person, or not? I believe the answer the king would give is: Both.

Let’s take them one at a time. I think verse 4 is referring to folks who say something so outrageous, so off-the-wall, you’re certain they’ve just arrived from the dark side of the moon. There’s a tendency to talk down to their level in an attempt to expose their folly, but in the process we can come across as just as foolish. Being the bull-headed fellow I sometimes am, I’ve been guilty of that on more than one occasion. 

To remedy that inclination, Solomon offered this reminder: “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions” (Proverbs 18:2). Even if such a person physically hears what you’re saying, he or she isn’t listening. They’re not interested in learning, considering a different point of view, or having wrongful thinking corrected. So that’s why we’re admonished, “don’t answer a fool according to his folly.” Don’t respond in like manner.

However, that doesn’t mean we should always remain silent in the presence of foolishness. If we’re interacting with someone and strongly disagree with their statements or conclusions, we can attempt to point out their error. If we find they are receptive to ideas that differ from their own, we can have an honest, even cordial discussion.

There have been times in my life when someone was kind enough to point out foolish thinking on my part and, when I was willing to listen and mull over what they had to say, I’ve learned the error of my ways. At least I’ve discovered that just because I think or believe a certain way, that doesn’t mean other people don’t have reasons for thinking differently. 

This is why King Solomon observed, “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction” (Proverbs 16:23). I’m grateful for the times when God gave me enough wisdom to recognize my own foolishness when someone was caring enough to point it out.

“A man finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word” (Proverbs 15:23). As a headstrong young man, I had my share of foolishness that needed to be exposed and expelled. I praise the Lord for sending people my way who were armed with apt replies and timely words to help in setting me straight in both my thinking and my actions.

Moral of the story: When we cross paths with someone who can best be described by one of my favorite words, “knucklehead,” we can attempt to guide them to clearer thinking. But if we perceive their minds are like trapdoors, locked from the inside, give them a wide berth. “Folly delights a man who lacks judgment, but a man of understanding keeps a straight course” (Proverbs 15:21).

The Perverse Pleasure of Demeaning and Diminishing

“If you can’t say something bad about somebody, don’t say anything at all!”

It seems this twist on a familiar adage unfortunately has become a motto for many these days, whether on social media, the news media, or even in casual conversation. Never miss a chance to demean, disparage, denigrate or diminish. Whatever you do, don’t say anything nice.

Case in point, within hours of Dr. Billy Graham’s passing, a major newspaper published a feature article about his family, implying that as he was aggressively preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in various parts of the world, he was failing his children at home.

Just because we know something,
that doesn't obligate us to say it.

One might explain this as the periodical’s attempt to present an accurate, three-dimensional portrayal of the famed evangelist, including his flaws. They certainly had the right to do so, as our Constitution’s First Amendment guarantees. I have no quibble with this; it was the timing that troubled me.

Having been a journalist for many years, I know it’s common practice to prepare obituaries of the famous and infamous well in advance, in the event of their passing, expected or not. I’ve written some of those myself. So this “news” story of struggles within the Graham family obviously had been poised for publication, knowing the preacher’s advanced age and declining health. Even though these accounts were hardly breaking news, having already been acknowledged in books by Dr. Graham and several of his offspring, it seemed clear the intent was to emphasize his feet of clay. (Which we all have.)

This is just one example among many of society’s eagerness to expose the darker side of any well-known individual, sometimes even before the flesh has grown cold or the body’s been interred. But one need not hold qualifications for “Who’s Who” to receive similar treatment.

We’ve all felt dismay about the rise of social media bullying, individuals verbally pummeling anyone they choose, cowardly acts committed with computers and smart devices in the safety of their homes. What an curious practice, seeking to enhance one’s self-image by attacking others.   

Technology has conveniently placed at our fingertips the capacity for demeaning other individuals – and groups. But it’s hardly a new phenomenon – it’s as old as humankind. In fact, the Bible has much to say about this timeless form of antagonism.

Proverbs 12:18 tells us, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Elsewhere in the same chapter we read the antithesis, how encouraging words can have a profound, uplifting impact on the hearers: “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up” (Proverbs 12:25).

This isn’t calling for a Pollyanna perspective on life, ignoring problems, pain and peculiarities. But it takes little or no talent to identify faults in others – even as we ignore or minimize flaws of our own. It may take a bit more effort to form expressions of kindness and compassion, but they can do far more than we might imagine to help in making our world a better place.

As Proverbs 16:21 declares, “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.” When we hear juicy reports about others, whether it’s someone we know only through programs like “Entertainment Tonight” or our neighbor down the street, it’s easy to rush to a friend so we can let them in on the “news.” But as we’re cautioned by Proverbs 18:8, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels, they go down to a man’s inmost parts.”

Rather than succumbing to that temptation, it might be far better to remind ourselves that, “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9). There’s something tantalizing about knowing “inside information” we can share with others, but that doesn’t obligate us to broadcast it to everyone else. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered” (Proverbs 17:27).

We might not be the editors of an established publication making decisions about what to print and not to print about someone. But we all have it within our power to determine what we say about others, what we don’t say – and even how we say it. As Proverbs 15:23 notes, “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word!”

A Compelling Case for Quiet Wisdom

I can’t get over the preponderance of noise being produced by our society. I’m not referring to sirens of emergency vehicles racing down the road, jets flying overhead, or even the roar of stock cars thundering around the track at a NASCAR race. It’s the clamor of myriad voices all seemingly shouting, “Look at me! Listen to me! Hey, over here – I’m over here!”

As I noted in a previous post, we’re observing this in increasing decibels as the Presidential primaries and party conventions draw nearer. Listen to any radio talk show, or most TV news networks, and the noise is enough to make anyone want to run out and buy a set of earplugs.

It’s called “cacophony,” which is defined as “dissonance; a hard discordance of sound.” I’d call it an incessant, irritating barrage of sound that’s become so pervasive we ignore it or are barely aware of it anymore. But rather than resulting in a reduced level of noise, it seems many – too many – have concluded they’ve just need to get even louder.

Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th U.S.
President, could engage in fiery
rhetoric, but endorsed "speaking
softly...and carrying a big stick."

But it’s not just the noise. Because too often the din serves as a strategy for disguising a lack of substance in whatever people claim to be communicating. Kind of like the old-time preacher who counseled a young protégé, “If a point in your sermon is weak, just yell louder.” We’re seeing and hearing a lot of that these days, and not just from pulpits on Sundays.

This is one reason the following verse from the Bible’s Old Testament seemed to jump out when I read it. It speaks not only to how we deliver our words and messages, but also contrasts solid, sincere content with the mindless babbling that assaults our eardrums these days:

“The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools. Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good” (Ecclesiastes 9:17).

This, more than sheer volume, seems the real issue here. Because anyone with healthy lungs and vocal chords can be loud and bombastic and opinionated. But the way wisdom “shouts” is with depth and substance and meaning, not bluster. Once again, it’s the old “when E.F. Hutton speaks, people listen” scenario.

Even when Mother Teresa was drawing so much media attention, I don’t recall her posturing from a soapbox. Helen Keller, deaf, blind and mute, was understandably limited as a communicator, and yet she left a treasure chest of wisdom. U.S. President Teddy Roosevelt described his approach to foreign policy as, “speak softly and carry a big stick.” By this he meant, “the exercise of intelligent forethought and of decisive action sufficiently far in advance of any likely crisis." Sounds kind of like what the Bible calls “the quiet words of the wise.”

The Bible also tells us some of God’s greatest messages were delivered in quiet, inconspicuous ways. Not always in the thunder-and-lightning manner frequently portrayed in films and cartoons.

For instance, speaking to the prophet Elijah, God said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by. Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks…but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19:11-12).

So whether it’s a coach or athlete in a post-game press conference, a celebrity promoting a favorite cause, a CEO announcing a new product or corporate strategy, a political hopeful stating his or her case in a debate, or a pastor expounding during a worship service, I think we have a compelling reason to listen for quiet wisdom. As Proverbs 16:21 states, “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.” By comparison, the Bible declares, “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions” (Proverbs 18:2). I’ll take the former over the latter any day.