Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A Pun-ny Thing Happened

Carpenters have hammers, plumbers have wrenches, painters have brushes. Writers have words, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve had a love affair with words. Sometimes I even use them like toys.

For instance, did you hear about the hard-driving businessman from Taiwan who gave a blood sample for his annual checkup? The lab techs marveled at the Taipei Type-A’s Type A blood!

My favorite country song is, “Run Down to the Roundhouse, Nellie – He Can’t Corner You There.”

Have you heard about the candy for couples not ready to conceive children? They’re called CondomMints. Where do those couples typically live? In condominiums.

Whenever I get a haircut, I like to annoy my barber with a few puns. His standard reply is, “There you go, playing with words again.” Yes, my toys.

I can’t help it – my parents were born and raised in Punnsylvania. Do you know where they send people that always tell bad jokes? To a punintentiary.

Did you hear about the Eastern mystic who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

A monastery assigned each new resident the duty of preparing their kettle-cooked potato snacks. They give the person the official title of Chip Monk.

Some pastors are acquiring fake seminary degrees online. They’re said to be artificially insemin-ated.

Why was Noah considered the boldest financier in the Bible? Because he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Describe Boaz of the Old Testament before getting married: Ruth-less.

Dumb jokes? Unquestionably. But the way I see it, if humor like this provokes a snicker even for a split second, it’s worth it. We all have a tendency to take ourselves a bit too seriously, and as the Bible says, “A merry heart does good, like medicine” (Proverbs 17:22).

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