A Pun-ny Thing Happened

Carpenters have hammers, plumbers have wrenches, painters have brushes. Writers have words, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve had a love affair with words. Sometimes I even use them like toys.

For instance, did you hear about the hard-driving businessman from Taiwan who gave a blood sample for his annual checkup? The lab techs marveled at the Taipei Type-A’s Type A blood!

My favorite country song is, “Run Down to the Roundhouse, Nellie – He Can’t Corner You There.”

Have you heard about the candy for couples not ready to conceive children? They’re called CondomMints. Where do those couples typically live? In condominiums.

Whenever I get a haircut, I like to annoy my barber with a few puns. His standard reply is, “There you go, playing with words again.” Yes, my toys.

I can’t help it – my parents were born and raised in Punnsylvania. Do you know where they send people that always tell bad jokes? To a punintentiary.

Did you hear about the Eastern mystic who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

A monastery assigned each new resident the duty of preparing their kettle-cooked potato snacks. They give the person the official title of Chip Monk.

Some pastors are acquiring fake seminary degrees online. They’re said to be artificially insemin-ated.

Why was Noah considered the boldest financier in the Bible? Because he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Describe Boaz of the Old Testament before getting married: Ruth-less.

Dumb jokes? Unquestionably. But the way I see it, if humor like this provokes a snicker even for a split second, it’s worth it. We all have a tendency to take ourselves a bit too seriously, and as the Bible says, “A merry heart does good, like medicine” (Proverbs 17:22).

Humor at Others’ Expense

During a recent opening monologue, late-night talk show host David Letterman made a comment that still has people debating its appropriateness.

Letterman said "an awkward moment" occurred for former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin when, "during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by (Yankee third baseman) Alex Rodriguez." Without naming her, the joke apparently referred to Palin's 18-year-old daughter, Bristol, an unwed mother. But it was 14-year-old daughter, Willow, not Bristol, attending the game.

When Palin reacted the next day with understandable anger, Letterman offered a weak, halfhearted apology – couched within another joke.

I wonder: What if Letterman had said something like that about Chelsea Clinton while the Clintons were in office, or about one of President Barack Obama’s daughters? Or a daughter or granddaughter of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi? No doubt Letterman today would be among the ranks of the unemployed; at the very least taking extreme measures to demonstrate genuine remorse.

Growing up, and even as late as the 1980s, I heard jokes about various ethnic groups – Italians, Poles, Jews, Hispanics, etc. Today most of us agree such efforts to elicit laughs at the expense of individuals or specific groups of people are unkind, inappropriate, and just wrong.

Perhaps because she is Caucasian, conservative and Christian – apparently the “unholy trinity” for elitist, left-wing wags – Palin and her family are considered fair game. But ideological and political differences do not excuse insensitivity and bigotry.

Once again, the Bible offers a simple, yet profound principle to apply to these situations: “Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). In other words, “If you can’t say something nice about somebody, don’t say anything at all.”