Never Underestimate the Value of a Good Name

Recently I took our grandson Mac to a summer camp program at his school. As I was registering him, a teacher handling the sign-in sheet asked if I was Mac’s grandfather. Then he asked if I was his mom’s or dad’s father.  

When I replied that I was the father of Mac’s mom, Sarah, the teacher said something that warmed my heart. “Oh, then you’re also Becca’s dad (another of my daughters). I’ve had both of her daughters in my classes, and they’re really good kids.” (Cue proud smile!)

 

Although I appreciated the compliment, I can’t take the credit. My daughters and their husbands do all the hard work, raising and trying to properly guide their children – our grandchildren, of whom I’m admittedly very fond. Nonetheless, it was nice to hear someone speaking well of our family.

 

Once upon a time, families took great care to ensure the protection of their “good name.” Family members understood their words and actions reflected not only on themselves, but also on the reputation of their parents and siblings.

 

There’s a huge difference between an enthusiastic “Hey, look, here come the McDougals!” and, “Uh-oh, here come the McDougals!” Our reputations precede us.

 

But is a good name all that important? Does it really matter what people think of us and our families? The Bible says it matters a lot. For instance, Proverbs 22:1 declares, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” 

 

King Solomon, who wrote much of Proverbs and is widely regarded as the author the book of Ecclesiastes, also asserted, “A good name is better than fine perfume…” (Ecclesiastes 7:1). Perhaps this is because you can always buy silver, gold or fine perfume; you can’t purchase a good name.

 

So, how do we earn – and maintain – a good name? It’s not a one-time thing. We have to be consistent, steadfast in our resolve to speak words and do things that reflect positively on who we are. Proverbs 25:9-10 offers this caution: “If you argue your case with a neighbor, do not betray another man’s confidence, or he who hears it may shame you and you will never lose your bad reputation.” 

 

Since one’s reputation and good name are so closely linked, the same can be said of both: It takes a lifetime to build a solid reputation (and good name), but they can be destroyed in a single moment of foolish or reckless behavior. 

 

We need to have a clear understanding of those values we hold dear and the principles that dictate how and why we do and say what we do. Acting like one type of person in one setting but behaving like someone entirely different in a different environment is no way to build a good name – or solid reputation. Social chameleons aren’t known for their good names.

 

We’re advised in Proverbs 3:4, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” (Proverbs 3:4). 

 

The psalmist presents us with this wise observation: “How can a young man make his way pure? By living according to [God’s] word…. I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You” (Psalm 119:9-11). Interestingly, King David of Israel, who wrote many of the psalms, apparently didn’t always keep this admonition in the forefront of his mind, given his tragic moral lapses.

 

So, it seems a good name is something we should always be striving to establish and protect, but there’s no time to let down our guard. The junkyard of reputations has been filled by folks who seemed to be living upright lives – until the time they didn’t.

 

Putting the interests of others is one powerful means for avoiding calamitous stumbles. As the apostle Paul wrote, “‘Everything is permissible’ – but not everything is beneficial. ‘Everything is permissible’ – but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others” (1 Corinthians 10:23-24). If we can succeed at doing this consistently, our good name mostly likely will remain secure.

Integrity, Like Pregnancy, Is All Or Nothing

Much of life we perceive in 50 shades of gray, so to speak. It all depends on your point of view. But some things are stark black and white. Like being pregnant. You can’t be “a little bit pregnant.” A woman either is – or she’s not. It’s the same with integrity. One can’t have “a little bit of integrity.” It’s pretty much all or nothing.

Once again the thorny issue of integrity has popped up, thrust into the spotlight by a figure in the public eye. This time, instead of a football coach or politician, it was NBC News anchor Brian Williams, an admired member of the national media, who “earned” the spotlight of scrutiny.

Information surfaced disputing Williams’ story of having been aboard a military helicopter in Iraq that was struck by a rocket-propelled grenade in 2003, a report that had seemed to grow over the years. Confronted by eyewitness accounts debunking his claim, Williams admitted “a mistake in recalling the events.” NBC News, faced with an assault to both Williams’ and its own credibility, suspended him for “misrepresenting the facts.”

Even a tiny crack can be the start of a spoiled egg,
a sinking ship, or a shattered reputation.

Another example of the strength – and fragility – of integrity. We can spend our lives building a reputation for integrity, and this can serve us well. But it can all be destroyed in a moment, even by a isolated occasion of misjudgment or misbehavior.

But why should someone who has been trusted for years and years suddenly have that swept away by a lapse in honesty? Maybe it’s not fair – but that’s the way it is.

Whether you’re a media star, business leader, educator, pastor, police officer, parent or a spouse, trust is not optional to the “job description.” It’s essential, non-negotiable. If someone were to put a drop of poison in your favorite beverage, you wouldn’t want to drink it even though the poison would be only an infinitesimal percentage of its volume. In a similar way, a tiny bit of deceit can spoil a lifetime of trust and confidence.

That’s why I’m so impressed by the wisdom of the Bible. It tells it like it is, even though we often don’t like what it says. For instance, “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out” (Proverbs 10:9). Another passage underscores the point: “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful will be destroyed by their duplicity” (Proverbs 11:3).

Just as a tiny crack can cause a ship to sink, even a small act of deception can bring about the destruction of one’s once-sterling reputation.

I don’t know how the rest of the Brian Williams saga will play out. Some might ask, isn’t it harsh to condemn a man for distorting the truth on such a seemingly inconsequential matter? Shouldn’t he be forgiven?

Yes, forgiveness certainly could be warranted. As we so often hear, nobody’s perfect. But it’s also important to recognize our actions – good and bad – have consequences. When a person is in a position of public trust, as someone like Williams has been, there are expectations, even demands, for retaining that trust. Once that is compromised, it’s not easily regained.

But as someone wisely said, when we point a finger at someone else, the other fingers are pointed toward us. Rather than looking down our noses, reveling in the quandary resulting from someone else’s moral or ethical misdeeds, we need to remember we’re all only one selfish, thoughtless, reckless act away from a similar plight. As the Bible reminds us, “So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12).

Character vs. Reputation

“Character is who you really are. Reputation is who people think you are.”

A speaker made this statement recently and I’ve been pondering it since. I’ve heard character defined as “who you are when no one’s looking.” Experience tells me these statements are true because too often I’ve discovered the public face people present is not always an accurate reflection of who they are in private. In other words, what you see – or think you see – isn’t always what you get.

Perhaps the classic current example of this is Jerry Sandusky, who for decades built a reputation not only as an accomplished chief assistant coach to Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno, but also as a man with great compassion for troubled boys. This “great compassion” many presumed Sandusky possessed turned out to be the mask for a devious sexual predator.

If only we could see behind the masks.

This distinction between character and reputation is particularly significant at this time of year as political candidates desperately seek to convince us of their worthiness to be elected. They are all putting their best face forward, enticing us with ready smiles, clever rhetoric, apparent concern and genuineness. They're selling us an image. “Would I lie to you?” they all seem to be asking, sincerity oozing from their pores.

But that’s the problem: We really don’t know these people. We only know what we see – actually, what they’re willing to let us see. And their opponents are eager to make us believe what we think we’re seeing isn’t true at all.

How do we determine who’s right? I’d like an easy answer to that.

But that’s why character – and not reputation – is most important to God. In 1 Samuel 16:7 we’re told, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Perhaps to underscore that point, Proverbs 16:3 says, “All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

Good character gives birth to a good reputation, but a good reputation does not ensure good character.

As I watch those aspiring for public office make bold promises, assuring me they are far more capable and better suited for office than their opponents, I think, “I hear their words and see their polished gestures and expressions, but wish I could see their heart.”

At times I’ve been disappointed to learn people weren't who I thought they were, but apparently that’s not a problem the Lord ever had. As curious followers clamored for Jesus after witnessing His miraculous acts, it says, “Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. He did not need man’s testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man” (John 2:23-24).

In a way, that’s good news: I needn't bother trying to fool the Lord, or attempt to convince Him I’m something I’m really not. He knows already. And He says, “I’ll take you as is.”