A Time for Giving and Forgiving?

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring – except for those who continued to grouse.

Gifts have been unwrapped, given and received, and for some it’s permission to shed their festive holiday facades and resume their miserable pre-holiday moods. Their inner bah-humbug can finally re-emerge into the open. As if there had been no times for glad tidings and good cheer at all. But does it have to be this way?

Leading up to Christmas we had Black Friday, then Cyber Monday, followed by Giving Tuesday. But why does the giving have to stop with Dec. 25? Perhaps there’s a need to continue giving, long after the ooh’s and aah’s of Christmas have silenced, unwanted gifts returned, and retailers resume scheming about what the hot products will be for next Christmas.

There’s a practical, fiscal reason to start with. Non-profit organizations are preparing to close their annual budgets, hoping to settle into the black as a new year begins. So, having enjoyed the blessings of material giving as both givers and recipients on Christmas morning, it might be good to designate the day after as a time for giving to noble causes we believe in, as well as rack up some last-minute tax deductions.

My wife and I make charitable donations throughout the year to entities whose services we value. These include our local church, a variety of ministries, and several agencies devoted to assisting the poor and needy. But I find it fun to give a little extra just as another calendar is ushered out. 

When Jesus said, “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35), He wasn’t uttering an idealistic platitude. Being able to share from our resources to enhance others’ lives benefits not only them, but ours as well. This practice helps to shift our attention from ourselves and our wants, responding to the legitimate needs of others.

Can you imagine how God felt when He looked upon a broken, sin-riddled, hopelessly wayward humanity and sent His own Son to serve as the atonement for their grievous sins? I don’t think there’s any way we can fully comprehend what this meant for Him, but we do know, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall have eternal life” (John 3:16). Among the many wonderful things our Lord is, He’s a giver. And perhaps we never look more like Him than when we ourselves are giving, freely, unselfishly, even sacrificially.

But there’s another kind of “giving” that many of us would be wise to pursue and apply that could be revolutionary. How about engaging in some healthy, life-changing for-giving? Almost every day we hear about someone who suffered harm of some sort, whether it was inflicted physically, psychologically or emotionally. The damage might have resulted from neglect rather than overt action. Regardless of how it came about, in its wake we find resentment, bitterness, anger, even hatred.

Sometimes wrongs committed seem beyond forgiveness; other times unresolved conflicts fester, escalating far beyond the level of the original damage. Either way, lack of forgiveness has a way of destroying the unforgiver, as well as the unforgiven.

Contrast this to the image of the young man in the news whose unarmed brother was unwittingly killed by a police officer who somehow confused his apartment with her own. Upon her conviction, the surviving brother, rather than spewing words of rage and hatred, actually stepped forward to embrace the clearly distraught woman in a grand and wonderful act of forgiveness. 

This did not bring his brother back to life. Nor did it erase the grief he felt in having lost a beloved sibling. But like chains taken off a prisoner, the young man’s willingness to forgive freed him of the burden of bitterness that was certain to remain if he didn’t.

On the cross, Jesus in the throes of deadly pain, said an incredible thing: “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Those who had wrongly convicted Him of crimes He had not committed knew they were ridding themselves of a “problem,” but hardly realized the magnitude of their murderous scheming: That they were seeking to kill God incarnate, who had come to redeem fallen and unreconcilable humanity.

In 1 John 2:12, the apostle declares, “I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his (Jesus’) name.” In His so-called Lord’s Prayer, Jesus provided an example when He prayed, “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matthew 6:12). When God has forgiven us for so much, who are we not to forgive others – no matter what they have done?

So if, as echoes of Christmas frivolity begin to fade, you find yourself wallowing in unforgiveness, give yourself one more gift: the gift of forgiveness. Not only for the one who has offended or harmed you, but also for yourself. This world is so filled with pain – why inflict yourself with more of it? After all, we might rightly say that Christmas is for giving and forgiving.

An Example Worth Emulating

S. Truett Cathy, one who "practiced what
he preached," leaves a strong legacy.

The old saying, “Actions speak louder than words,” is perhaps never more valid than when comparing what leaders say with what they do. Too often – whether they are politicians, executives in business, or cultural icons – leaders espouse high-sounding values, only to have behavior betray their supposed convictions.

A couple of weeks ago S. Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A, passed away at the age of 93. Unlike some of his contemporaries, who would be members of the “do as I say, not as I do” camp, he was a man who lived, worked, and served his fellow man in a manner consistent with principles and ideals he expressed. I had the privilege of interviewing Mr. Cathy for a magazine article years ago, and found him to be a humble, non-pretentious, genuine individual devoted to helping to make the world around him a better place.

At the time he was phasing out his involvement in day-to-day operations of the fast-food franchise he started in 1946 in Hapeville, Ga., an Atlanta suburb, with a single little restaurant then called the “Dwarf Grill.” His sons, Dan and Bubba, were already taking the lead.

One of the most notable aspects of Chick-fil-A has been its steadfast resolve to close on Sundays, even in shopping malls where all other stores are required to open seven days a week. Before committing to place one of their restaurants in a mall, the Cathys always sign a contract exempting their business from that requirement.

I interviewed Mr. Cathy years
ago for a magazine article.

It’s often reported this practice is due to Mr. Cathy’s and his family’s “religious” beliefs. To an extent that’s true, but he always felt it gave their employees a day to rest and spend time with family, whether that included attending a worship service on Sunday or not. In fact, when I asked him about the store’s Sunday closing tradition, he quipped that in his business’s early days, “after six days of operation round the clock, the reason we closed was not we were all that religious, but because we are all that tired.”

Throughout his tenure as head of the privately held, family-owned company, Mr. Cathy and his sons operated according to two guiding principles:  

      - To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us.

     - To have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A.

The latter principle, of course, would be hotly debated by those who viewed personal, pro-traditional family statements by son Dan as “intolerant” and “homophobic.” However, there has never been evidence of the Cathys or their company discriminating against employees, suppliers or customers on any basis, including sexual orientation.

Throughout his business career, Mr. Cathy was known for his generosity, including sponsorship of foster homes, college scholarships for restaurant employees demonstrating leadership and community service, a summer camp for young people, and various charity events, as well as his personal contributions to many worthwhile causes. Chick-fil-A also has long been recognized for having unusually low management turnover rates in the quick-service restaurant industry.

More than 30 years ago I was hired to serve as editor, and then director of publications, for CBMC (then known as Christian Business Men’s Committee). A running joke was when someone claimed to be a “Christian businessman,” the response would be something like, “Make up your mind – are you a Christian, or a businessman?” The implication being you couldn’t be both at the same time.

Thankfully, over the 20 years I served as a member of the CBMC staff I had the opportunity to meet hundreds of business people – top executives, middle managers and professional people – who daily demonstrated you could indeed pursue a career in the worlds of commerce and industry and still be a faithful, consistent follower of Christ. Mr. Cathy was one of them, an example truly worth emulating.

Proverbs 20:6 asks the question, “Many claim to have unfailing love, but a faithful person who can find?” One could always be found in the person of S. Truett Cathy, who understood, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35), and lived accordingly.

It’s ‘All About Me!’ – Or Is It?

The other day I saw a news report declaring 2014, “The Year of the ‘Selfie’” – the fascination so many people have developed for taking photos of themselves in different settings with their smartphones.

Sure, it’s fun to go to a nice place on vacation and take a “selfie” in front of some well-known sight, but people these days are going to extraordinary lengths to put themselves into the picture. At the Tour de France, for instance, spectators jogged just ahead of the competing bikers, arms extended and smartphones angled strategically to prove to all the world, “That’s me. I was there!”

I wouldn’t be surprised to learn about someone taking a “selfie” in Pamplona, Spain while racing to stay a step or two ahead of the charging bulls.

Even as children, we quickly learn
the lesson, "It's all about me!"

You don’t even need to be holding the cell phone. People “photo-bomb” by popping into the mix when photographs are being taken of others, at events ranging from weddings (“See, that’s me with the bride and groom”) to awards ceremonies (“Can you believe that’s me there with DiCaprio?”)

Years ago we heard a lot about the “Me Generation.” We’ve become so me-conscious we don’t even need to use that phrase anymore. It’s assumed. And thanks to the wonders of technology and portability of smartphones, we have ever-improving ways for declaring to the world, “it’s all about me!”

“Me, me, me” is being repeated so often it sounds like the vocal warm-up session preceding an opera or vocal concert.

I’m not stumping for all-out altruism or iron-clad vows of self-denial. No need to get extreme. Not that there’s any real danger of an epidemic of selflessness, anyway. But wouldn’t it be nice to see more people demonstrating more awareness of persons other than “me, myself and I”?

Reading the Bible, it seems evident God isn’t a “selfie” fan. "Unselfish" is the word He’d rather His people emulate. As it states in Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Maybe one reason Jesus Christ came during the time in human history that He did, rather than in the 21^st century, is He didn’t want people flocking to take “selfies with Jesus” and then post them on social media. Quite to the contrary, He instructed His followers, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

But this isn’t easy, especially in a society that in one way or another constantly insists we must “look out for No. 1.” So how do we overcome this tendency? Is there an antidote for “me-ism”?  Let me offer a few suggestions:

·       Perform an act of kindness – or more than one – for people that can’t possibly repay you. That way you don’t have to examine yourself as much for ulterior motives.

·       Find a local organization or project you believe in and volunteer your time and talents to help advance its mission and help those that will benefit. How about tutoring, mentoring, or working in a soup kitchen?

·       Contribute to a charity or non-profit that provides services to meet urgent needs. And if you’re already contributing, give more – or find additional causes to support.

·       Do something special for a neighbor, even if you don’t know them well. And try to do it anonymously so you won’t be doing it to gain an expression of gratitude or receive a similar gesture in return.

If you do any, or all, of these you might discover Jesus was right when He said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). And you’ll begin to understand why.