Crosswords, and Important Last Words

Being the “wordsmith” some people describe me to be, I find doing crosswords an enjoyable pastime. I have smartphone apps that challenge my word skills, and occasionally I work crossword puzzles in the newspaper. But this time of year, a different kind of “crosswords” comes to mind.

As Good Friday and Easter approach, our church presented a series of messages titled, “Crosswords,” exploring words of Jesus Christ linked to His crucifixion. In reviewing the biblical accounts, two “cross words” caught my attention in particular, ones that can be truly life-changing, if only we can grasp their magnitude both for now and for eternity.

         The words are: Forgive and finished.

Despite the excruciating pain and trauma of the cross, Jesus managed to utter several things as He endured His tortuous – and totally undeserved – execution. But in those two words He largely summed up His purpose in willingly enduring the cross.

As He hung from it, surrounded by a mainly angry, blood-thirsty mob spewing venomous insults and epithets, Jesus would have been fully justified in spitting at them, or returning their verbal abuse. Despite incomprehensible pain – coupled with great sorrow in being rejected by so many – He felt compassion instead, and called for grace. “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing’” (Luke 23:34).

Simple words, “forgive them,” carrying volumes of meaning. Who among us has never yearned for forgiveness for wrongs committed? Sometimes we find it futile even to forgive ourselves. Also, who hasn’t struggled to forgive others for pain they’ve inflicted on us, intentional or not? Yet in saying, “forgive them,” even on the cross Jesus was interceding, asking God the Father to extend mercy, to offer what His enemies – including us today – did not deserve. Forgiveness, once and for all.

With those two words, Jesus was not only assuring each one of us that we can experience forgiveness from the God of all creation, but also was telling us that it’s incumbent upon us all that we, too, forgive. Pastor and author John MacArthur has made the observation, “Never are you more like God than when you forgive.” Many are quick to observe, “God is love,” asserting we should act in kind. But we’re not as fast to recognize the equal truth that God is forgiving – as we should be.

But Jesus was not quite done, even in His dying moments. Upon taking a sip of wine vinegar lifted to his lips on the stalk of a plant, Jesus’ last words were, “’It is finished.’ With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit” (John 19:30).

The word “finished” was not referring to the conclusion of His earthly life, but the culmination of His mission, His purpose for being God incarnate – “God with us,” as Matthew 1:23 expresses it. Some saw Jesus as a great teacher, or a prophet. Today some regard Him as a model, an eminent example of right living. But Jesus walked among us for much more than that.

He came to become the Savior of mankind, the propitiation for sins, the atoning sacrifice. John 3:16-17 informs us, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” He was the promised Messiah who had been prophesied thousands of years before.

In coming to Earth, Jesus arrived to address an unsolvable, irreconcilable problem confronting humankind: Sin. We don’t often hear people talking about sin these days, even preachers, except in giddy conversation. But to God, there’s no humor in sin; not in the least. Sin was so serious, He took upon Himself its punishment, satisfying His justice and absorbing His wrath, while offering a singular way for men, women and children to experience an everlasting, living relationship with Him.

All that needed to be done was done, except for us to receive the free gift He offered.

Two “cross words” – forgiveness and finished. So, as we contemplate the gathering darkness of Good Friday, and the exquisite jubilation of Easter, let’s keep both in our minds, and on our hearts.

Forgiveness: More Blessed to Receive Than to Give?

A mean-spirited country bumpkin was asked, “Do you have a grudge?” “Heck, no,” he replied in a huff. “Ah jest put mah truck in the front yard like everybody else.” Well, many of us do have a grudge – just not the kind this fellow had in mind. We harbor grudges about many things, ranging from hurtful words people have said, to not receiving thanks for a kind act, to an unresolved family dispute.

Unfortunately, there’s only one way of getting rid of grudges: Forgive. But to do so, it often seems, is like knowing someone who’s sick, then swallowing the nasty-tasting medicine for them.

We’re told, “forgive and forget,” but much of the time it’s difficult to do either. Forgiving is hard, especially when the offender hasn’t apologized or shown remorse. To forgive in effect would mean letting someone off the hook for doing or saying something wrong without making amends. Instead, we decide never to forget the harm they’ve done to us.

On the other hand, if we’ve inflicted harm upon someone else – whether a minor slight or a serious, selfish act – we believe our apologies should be readily accepted, without repercussions. Isn’t “I’m sorry” good enough?

One of the great thinkers of the mid-20^th century was C.S. Lewis, whose profound conclusions about matters of faith still resonate powerfully in this century. Lewis observed, “Everyone thinks that forgiveness is a lovely idea, until he has something to forgive.” Forgiveness, it would seem, is more blessed to receive than to give.

But should it be that way, especially for followers of Jesus? In His “Sermon on the Mount,” Jesus presented a vivid picture of what forgiveness should look like. Dismissing the “eye for an eye” philosophy, He stated, “But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well…” (Matthew 5:38-40).

When His followers asked how they should pray, Jesus included these words as a guide: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). Moments later He added, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). Strong words.

In another passage, the apostle Paul also challenged unwillingness to let bygones be bygones: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Particularly penetrating is the phrase, “just as God in Christ has forgiven you.” If we truly understand the magnitude of God’s forgiveness, what it cost Him to make forgiveness available, harboring ill will toward others and refusing to forgive amounts to an act of rebellion.

This teaching is anchored in the biblical concept of grace – God’s unmerited and unconditional favor. Grace strikes us as an alien concept, since we so rarely experience it in everyday life. Author Max Lucado, in his book, Grace: More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine, describes it: “Grace is not blind. It sees the hurt full well. But grace chooses to see God’s forgiveness even more. It refuses to let hurts poison the heart…. Where grace is lacking, bitterness abounds. Where grace abounds, forgiveness grows.”

We have two strong motivations for forgiving others: First, because of what God in Christ has done for us. If we can comprehend how much God has forgiven us, how can we not forgive others, no matter what they have done?

Second, failure to forgive “poisons the heart,” as Lucado writes. Hebrews 12:14-15 speaks of a “root of bitterness” that acts like an emotional cancer that destroys from within: “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

Regardless of the circumstances, forgiveness can prove to be more blessed to give than to receive, because the giving provides access to peace and release from a lifetime of bitterness

Forgiveness: The Gift You Give Yourself

The response by some family members and friends of the victims of the shootings at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, along with members of the congregation, has heartened many, confused some, and confounded others.

The response of grieving friends
and family members of Emanuel
AME Church has added another
chapter to its rich story of faith.

One day after the shooter (whom I won’t name, since he’s already gotten enough notoriety) killed nine men and women, despite sitting among them for about an hour at a prayer meeting at the historic church, some surviving family members stated they had forgiven the assailant, despite his merciless and horrendous acts.

A spirited and sometimes agitated discussion and debate resulted, with some people hailing the expressions of forgiveness and other observers commenting it’s too early or perhaps even unwarranted for numerous reasons.

How can you forgive someone who for no cause at all has taken the life of a loved one? How do you forgive the unjustified hatred that would motivate such mayhem? And how can you forgive someone when he has not even shown any evidence of remorse or repentance?

From a purely human standpoint, it’s difficult if not impossible to do. One’s honest, natural response is for justice or vengeance. For some, forgiveness in the face of unthinkable evil seems like repaying the vicious with kindness. And for some it borders precipitously on condoning or excusing the heinous crime.

I can’t say how I would respond – and hope I’ll never have to find out. But I’d like to think my reaction would mirror that of the grieving men and women at that noble African-American church. Because as followers of Jesus Christ, that’s what we’re instructed to do.

For one reason, if we’re to be like Christ, we should act as He did. On the cross, enduring the most excruciating form of execution mankind has ever conceived, He said, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). I won’t delve into the theology behind that statement, but not long before His crucifixion Jesus gave His followers a veiled reference when He said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

The apostle Peter elaborated on this, stating, “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps” (1 Peter 2:21).

Also, when Jesus made the statement people often quote, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged” (Luke 6:37), in the same breath He continued by saying, “Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”

Our heads may shouting, “No, I can’t!” along with our hearts. But to that He simply replies, “Do it – because I said so.”

But there’s another good reason for forgiving even the most egregious wrongs. We can do it for ourselves. We talk a lot about the “pursuit of happiness,” and no one has ever found unrestrained anger and bitterness and wrath to be effective paths for becoming happy. All those emotions achieve is misery and multiplied pain. 

The apostle Paul wisely wrote, “In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are angry” (Ephesians 4:26). He was not saying we don’t have a right to feel angry when wronged, whether the offense is minor or of unimaginable magnitude. He was telling us not to allow our ire – no matter how justified – to control us and fester, like an emotional cancer day after day.

You want to know courage and bravery? We saw in the faces of those men and women in Charleston, looking at the monster who had killed their beloved family members and friends, expressing forgiveness and essentially telling the shooter, “We will not allow you to cause any more death by stealing our joy and peace and hope. Your hatred will not govern our hearts.”

This Word Can Change Your Life

I’m not a craftsman, handyman, mechanic or anything of the sort. So I don’t identify with the guy (or gal) that goes into a hardware store with great anticipation, much like a child stepping into a toy or candy store. For those skilled at working with their hands, seeing all the tools, machines, gizmos and contraptions must be a source of unlimited delight.

But being a writer, I’m that way with words. For many years libraries or bookstores were my “candy store” – in a word-ly sense. Today the “library” has been brought into the comforts of our homes through the Internet and search engine of choice. But the principle remains the same: We have unlimited access to words, infused with vast power, both for good and for ill.

With a few choice words – or even a single word – we can bring joy or inflict pain, heal or reopen wounds. I’ve been reflecting on a specific word, one that whether spoken or not has the capacity for great healing. The redemptive properties of this word are vast. It’s an amazing word, but one that’s greatly underutilized, underappreciated, and undervalued. And unfortunately, for some people the mere thought of it is as offensive as any four-letter expletive we can imagine. This word I refer to is:

Forgiveness.

There are those that even now are cringing, as if I’d just written some terribly offensive racial or ethnic epithet. Forgiveness has been extracted from their vocabulary, for good reasons – at least in their opinion.

“After what he did to me, don’t talk to me about forgiveness!” “How can we forgive all of the terrible things they did to us?” “Why should I forgive? If anything, she needs to come to me on her knees, begging for forgiveness!”

Because of attitudes like these, forgiveness is not offered; overtures to seek forgiveness are not extended; relationships remain torn asunder; and groups of people stay in states of alienation, all with festering wounds that refuse to heal and scabs repeatedly being ripped open.

In a world that demands justice, even revenge,
forgiveness seems like a forgotten virtue.

Frankly, forgiveness is one of the most difficult of human virtues to practice. Partly because we want justice – even vengeance. When hurt, whether physically, emotionally or both, we want to “get even,” eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, jab for jab. To forgive is to release the right to revenge, to deny the capacity to return damage.

So when the apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:19, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord,” we recoil. We want to be the ministers of justice, not a loving God.

We also refuse to forgive because that means leaving the past in the past – which would require letting go of our hurts. Many people insist on harboring animosity and grudges toward people that are deceased. The offending parties have been laid to rest, while the unforgiving continue to nurture bitterness and anger, developing ulcers over people who couldn’t apologize even if they wanted to do so. Who’s the real victim of an unforgiving spirit now?

The Bible talks about a “root of bitterness” which can cause great harm. “Pursue peace with all men…. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many are defiled” (Hebrews 12:15). Bitterness – often the result of the failure or refusal to forgive others – can become like an emotional cancer, devastating mind, body, spirit and relationships.

But the best reason of all for extending forgiveness to others – whether they seek it or not – is because that is what God offers to us.

Talking to His disciples, Jesus taught appreciation for receiving forgiveness from God should be reflected by willingness to forgive others, no matter what they have done. “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25). Even on the cross, despite the anguish of imminent death, Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

Perhaps the reason many of us who profess to be followers of Jesus struggle so much with forgiveness is we’ve failed to fully grasp the magnitude of God’s forgiveness for our own sins and misdeeds. Romans 4:7-8 states, “Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sins the Lord will never count against him.”

So is there anyone you need to forgive, regardless of whether they’ve asked for forgiveness – or even want it? If you’re willing, no matter how severe the offense may have been, God will enable you to do so. And you’ll be better for it, without a doubt. It could be life-changing.