Focusing On the Things That Really Matter in Life

Whenever possible, I give credit where it’s due, whether borrowing an insight from a friend, quoting from a book, or even using something I’ve read on social media. However, recently I came across a list called “Things That Really Matter in Life” and although I would like to give proper attribution, I have to admit I don’t know the originator.

 

Nevertheless, it’s too good not to discuss. So I’ll cite and comment on parts of it, with appreciation to Mr. or Ms. Anonymous. Each item on the list starts with, “3 things in life that….” Here they are, for your consideration:

 

3 things in life that never come back when gone: Time. Words. Opportunity.

3 things in life that should never be lost: Peace. Hope. Honesty.

3 things in life that are most valuable: Love. Faith. Prayer.

3 things in life that make a person: Hard work. Sincerity. Commitment.

3 things in life that are constant: Change. Death. God.

 

Reading through this thoughtful list, I’ve noticed one common theme: Not one of these can be purchased with money. They are, in fact, priceless. Which is interesting, because of the things we spend the most money on – cars and houses and clothes and gadgets, education, travel, power, career advancement, status – none of them appear on the list above.

We can spend money on “time management” systems and devices, but in reality, time passes at the same pace, no matter what we try to do. We can’t stop its passage. All we can do is decide how to use the time we have – when we have it.

 

The saying, “Talk is cheap,” is true to an extent. But talk can also be costly, when we say the wrong things to the wrong people at the wrong time. When we miss out on an opportunity, we usually can’t buy it back no matter how hard we try.

 

With the chaos and turmoil of the past year – which threatens to continue into this new year – what we wouldn’t pay for peace and hope, right? And honesty? These days that seems in shorter supply than toilet paper!

 

Most of us received gifts for Christmas; some got lots of them. But you can’t buy genuine love. Faith is another priceless intangible. I’ve learned it’s worth more than the combined net worth of Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Jeff Bezos, Oprah Winfrey, Elon Musk and as many other multi-billionaires you can think of. And you can’t put a price tag on prayer, the sacred privilege of communing and communicating with the Creator of the universe.

 

In today’s world, so many people seem determined to get “free stuff,” things they have not earned and, probably, don’t deserve. But what employer wouldn’t want to hire people dedicated to working hard, are sincere in everything they do, and committed to doing their very best, regardless of the circumstances?

 

Many of us like change only when it’s on our terms, but things still change whether we like them to or not. And often, the changes are not of our preference. Death was much in the news over the past 12 months, but it’s the destination for us all, pandemic or no pandemic. Which leads us to the last, but most important of the three constants listed: God.

 

In his grand, but often cynical Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon essentially affirms the theme of the above list. He opens by declaring, “’Meaningless! Meaningless,’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless!’” (Ecclesiastes 1:2). Tell us exactly how you feel, Solomon! Don’t beat around the bush, okay?

 

He proceeds to explain, “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work…. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:10-11). 

 

Wow! Clearly, the great king of Israel didn’t have the spiritual gift of encouragement. But after elaborating about how futile are many of the things we pursue so earnestly, he arrives at a reasonable conclusion: “So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 8:15).

 

What Solomon meant by this becomes clearer as we read the book of Proverbs, most of which he wrote. He speaks extensively about such things as discipline, hard work, wisdom, prudence, faithfulness, relationships, generosity, humility, honesty, integrity and right living. Maybe this wise man served as the inspiration for the list above.

 

As Solomon observed, “[God] has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Another wise man, C.T. Studd, famously wrote, “Only one life, ‘twill soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.” We could do worse than make these things the focus of our lives.

Be a Thermostat for Thanksgiving

When it comes to the temperature of a room, we commonly use two devices. One is a thermometer, telling us what the temperature is. The other’s the thermostat, which controls what we desire the temperature to be. Similarly, for our everyday lives, we can choose to be one or the other.

We see lots of people acting like thermometers, reflecting the “temperature” around them, whether it’s beliefs, attitudes, or social behavior. Like walking into an extremely warm room, or the frigid outdoors, they soon become just like the environment surrounding them. But other people function more like thermostats, being influencers of their environments rather than becoming “influenc-ees.”

This is important as we approach another Thanksgiving Day. Later this week, many of us will gather with family and friends for a lavish meal. Turkey or ham may be the featured attraction, accompanied by mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce, various casseroles, bread and rolls, followed by pumpkin or pecan pie. The menu varies from home to home, but surrounded by such abundance, it’s easy to feel thankful in the moment. Prayers around the table before we dig in confirm that.

Are you a thermometer - or a thermostat?

But what about the weeks leading up to the holiday? Or the days after? How thankful are we then? This is where we can choose our role – thermometer, or thermostat.

We can all think of reasons for not feeling thankful, some of us more than others. It could be a chronic, or even terminal, illness we or a loved one may be facing. Financial pressures might seem unrelenting. Personal conflicts may be resistant to resolution. You can add to the list from your own situation. The onslaught of negative news nationally and internationally tends to reduce the “thankfulness quotient.” Nevertheless, the Scriptures give us these challenging words: “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

This verse doesn’t tell us to be thankful in some circumstances, or even most of them. We’re told to give thanks in all circumstances. As a friend of mine often says, when the Bible says “all,” it means ALL. Even if we find there’s too much month left at the end of our pay, we’re to be thankful. Even when the physician gives us a diagnosis we don’t like, we’re to give thanks. Even when we’ve been wronged, and it appears there’s been no justice against the wrongdoer, God wants us to have an attitude of thanksgiving anyway.

Thousands of years ago, King Solomon recorded his quest for happiness and ultimate gratification. His findings are recorded in the Old Testament book we call Ecclesiastes. Much of what he concluded is pretty dismal: “Meaningless! Meaningless!… Utter meaninglessness! Everything is meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 1:2) is how he starts off, repeating it often over the succeeding chapters.

He doesn’t sound very thankful, does he? Solomon was called the wisest man of all time, possessing more wealth than anyone could imagine. If he couldn’t find reason to give thanks in all circumstances, how can we be expected to do so?

But not everything the king wrote was discouraging. His pursuit of pleasure and prosperity did give him much-needed perspective. Because he also realized, “I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil – this is the gift of God” (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13).

At the end of his writings, Solomon added this summary: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13). He seemed to be saying that if we keep the Lord foremost in our lives and our thoughts, He will give us more than we need for living a thankful life.

And in the New Testament, we discover an even greater “gift from God.” Ephesians 2:8-9 assures all who trust in Him, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”

Salvation, forgiveness for our sins, reconciliation with God – and the faith to believe we have all this – are more than enough cause for giving thanks, not only on Thanksgiving Day but also every day, regardless of our current circumstances.

As we express and live out our thanksgiving despite the situations in which we must live, we can serve as “thermostats” for those around us, creating an environment of thankfulness for others to experience.

How Can Happiness Be Such Hard Work?

Bowling is just one of many diversions we use in search of happiness.

“If our condition were truly happy, we would not seek diversion from it in order to make ourselves happy.”

Who do you suppose said this? Steve Jobs or Bill Gates? Walt Disney? The Kardashians? Not even close. It was French mathematician, scientist, inventor, philosopher and writer Blaise Pascal – and he wrote it in the mid-1600’s. More than 350 years ago – how can that be? They didn’t have cable TV (or even regular TV), smartphone apps, social media, PlayStation or Xbox, adult coloring books, virtual reality goggles, fantasy football – or fidget spinners. What could Pascal or folks back then have known about diversion?

Apparently, the notion that the path to happiness requires escaping the realities and pressures of daily life isn’t new. People were trying to find diversions back in the 17^th century, even though they lacked the high-tech gizmos that hold our fascination today. They were taking vacations, pursuing pleasure in various forms, playing games, and cultivating hobbies. But even then, it seems, happiness was elusive.   

Throughout history, mankind has explored every means possible for becoming happy. Who knew achieving happiness would be such a laborious endeavor? Even King Solomon, called the wisest man in history, understood this. The pages of the book of Ecclesiastes are filled with his conclusions about the futility of seeking happiness through things or experiences.

Even in the first chapter, Solomon didn’t leave his readers in suspense. “’Meaningless! Meaningless!’ says the Teacher. ‘Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless’” (Ecclesiastes 1:2). Don’t you wish the king had expressed how he really felt?

He writes about the pursuits and diversions he attempted in his quest for meaning – and happiness. “I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven…. I thought in my heart, ‘Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good.’ But that also proved to be meaningless. ‘Laughter,’ I said, ‘is foolish. And what does pleasure accomplish?’ I tried cheering myself with wine, and embracing folly – my mind still guiding me with wisdom. I wanted to see what was worthwhile for men to do under heaven during the few days of their lives” (Ecclesiastes 1:13-2:3).

Solomon tells about undertaking challenging projects – building great houses and planting fabulous vineyards, gardens and parks. He worked hard and recorded achievements beyond imagining. You name it, he tried it. There’s not a single diversion he didn’t consider.

It would be worthwhile for you to read Ecclesiastes and the wise king’s observations in their entirety. But – spoiler alert! – here’s how he summarized his pursuit of happiness: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).

Diversions, Solomon seemed to be saying, may take up time and distract our minds for a while, but ultimately, they steer us away from our purpose, the primary reason we’re here. God created us for us to serve Him, not for Him to serve us.

As Psalm 1:1-2 counsels us, “Blessed (happy) is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.”

Does this mean God is opposed to fun, or uproarious moments that leave us grinning ear to ear? Not at all. If we read the Scriptures with open minds, Old Testaments and New, we find the Lord finds much to amuse Him about the human condition. But as Jesus taught repeatedly, happiness isn’t found in stuff, no matter how much of it you have. It’s not found in status. It’s not even found in human relationships, even though they can provide many happy moments.

Ultimately, true happiness – and joy – are found only in a genuine, growing relationship with the God of all eternity, who desires that it be a relationship that lasts forever.

I like how Corine Gatti, a reporter at Beliefnet, expressed it recently: “Yes, happiness is overrated, depending on the prism you choose to view it through. By digging deeper, we can find the happiness that is not just a pretty word, but an eternal reality.”