Recognizing the Myth of the Greener Grass

Have you ever felt envy toward someone – a friend, a neighbor, a coworker, maybe a member of your church? If you can honestly say you haven’t, I’m envious of you. I suspect we’ve all envied others from time to time. Maybe they seem more successful, their car or home seems nicer than ours, their marriage seems picture-perfect, their kids always seem well-mannered, they take more exciting vacation trips, or many other reasons we can think of.

There’s even an adage that describes this common problem of feeling envious toward others: “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” Actually, it might be better stated, the grass always seems greener….” Because more often than not, seems is the key word. Appearances don’t always represent reality.

 

One of the first books I co-authored, with my friend Ken Johnson, was Pursuing Life with a Shepherd’s Heart. Ken shared experiences he and his family had while managing a “hobby farm” in Minnesota. The primary animals on the farm were sheep, and they were curious critters. There was even a time when they got caught in the greener grass trap.

 

One summer had been particularly dry and all the little farm’s pastureland had been used up. Ken, his wife and kids collaborated in building a temporary fence that ran near the side of their house. Once the fencing was completed, they let the sheep into the area to munch on the untouched grass. The family retreated to the house for lunch.

 

Not long afterward, Ken glanced out the window to check on how the sheep were doing. What he saw was all of the sheep lined up along the fence, heads stuck through it and straining to reach the grass on the other side. Ironically, in the process, they were ruining the grass right underneath their hooves.

 

This is a funny story, but it illustrates that fixation on “greener grass” is no laughing matter. J. Allen Petersen actually wrote a book about it, entitled The Myth of the Greener Grass. In his book Petersen focused on how to “affair-proof” a marriage, emphasizing how the temptation to look yearningly outside one’s marriage is flirting with disaster. Marriages often fail because one or both spouses deceive themselves by thinking how much better things would be if they were out of the marriage or married to someone else.

 

God understood this tendency when He gave us the Ten Commandments. The last of His “top 10” was, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife…or anything that belongs to your neighbor” (Exodus 20:17). Even though the commandments were given to Moses thousands of years ago, human nature hasn’t changed with the passage of time.

 

Maybe the ‘greener grass’ isn’t someone other than one’s spouse. But as Gilda Radner’s character on Saturday Night Live, Roseanne Roseannadanna, used to say years ago, “It’s always something!” We might feel envious when a colleague receives a promotion and we don’t. We attend a party at someone’s house and find ourselves envying their furniture, giant-screen TV, or beautiful deck overlooking the valley. Or we arrive for Sunday worship after fussing over something in the car and we see the couple that seems to have everything all together. ‘Why can’t we be like them?’

 

This is one reason the Lord gave us the commandment about not coveting what others have. Being envious or jealous accomplishes nothing, it greatly diminishes our appreciation for what we do have, makes us want things that may not be as they appear, and leaves us feeling miserable and discontented.

 

Writing to believers in ancient Philippi, the apostle Paul wasn’t referring to a shiny chariot someone else had or a more stress-free lifestyle. He had more pressing matters to command his attention, including being wrongfully imprisoned. However, after expressing gratitude for people concerned about his well-being, he wrote:

“…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through [Christ] who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13).

 

That indeed is the secret – trusting in Jesus Christ and being grateful for whatever He sees fit to give us. And not wallowing in self-pity over what He hasn’t chosen to provide. 

 

As another apostle, Peter, wrote, “[God’s] divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3). The Lord knows better than we do what we need – and what we don’t. So, if we should find ourselves gazing longingly at the ‘greener grass’ nearby, whatever it is, we need to remember He indeed has given us “everything we need for a godly life” and be content with that.

Joy of a Job Well Done

It's amazing to consider the diversity in the talents, abilities
and gifts we all possess personally and professionally.

One of the realities of homeownership is, to borrow the profound words of the late comedienne Gilda Radner’s character, Roseanne Roseannadanna, “it’s always something!”

In recent years we’ve had our kitchen and bathrooms remodeled, roof replaced, new windows and siding installed, and recently needed to have a new concrete driveway poured. Since I have a mechanical IQ of about minus-2, all I can do is watch with amazement as craftsmen do their thing, performing work I wouldn’t begin to attempt.

I also look on with appreciation for the diverse gifts and talents these carpenters, plumbers, roofers, concrete workers and contractors possess, so different from mine own. When it comes to working with my hands, the only tasks I can do with any success are with fingers applied to a computer keyboard.

A prevailing notion views work as “a necessary evil,” but work done well can be a source of much joy and satisfaction. Serving customers at a restaurant, building a house, teaching a class, writing an article, landscaping a yard, directing a meeting, performing a concert, selling a car, baking a casserole, or doing countless other jobs, there’s something noble about a job well-done.

All work is noble and honorable in God's sight
if it's performed with diligence and excellence.

The organs in a human body perform different but equally critical roles for maintaining good health. In a similar way, we’re all blessed with diverse interests, strengths and abilities all needed in a strong, thriving society. I’m thankful for the person that delivers our morning newspaper (yes, we still receive one of those), the mail carrier, cashiers and clerks at our grocery store, the fellow that guides me into the car wash, people that fix the potholes on the roads, even meter readers that come by to see how much electricity and water we’ve used.

There’s a passage in the Scriptures that describes this well: “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts, and though all the parts are many, they form one body…” (1 Corinthians 12:12). It goes on to point out, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor…” (1 Corinthians 12:21-23).

But there’s another aspect of work that makes it even more meaningful and fulfilling. It’s when we recognize we’re not only serving other people but also the God who created and ordained work. Colossians 3:22-24 states, “Slaves (workers), obey your earthly masters (employers) in everything, and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men…. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

With that perspective, how can we ever give less than our very best – no matter what kind of work we find ourselves doing?