The Perverse Pleasure of Demeaning and Diminishing

“If you can’t say something bad about somebody, don’t say anything at all!”

It seems this twist on a familiar adage unfortunately has become a motto for many these days, whether on social media, the news media, or even in casual conversation. Never miss a chance to demean, disparage, denigrate or diminish. Whatever you do, don’t say anything nice.

Case in point, within hours of Dr. Billy Graham’s passing, a major newspaper published a feature article about his family, implying that as he was aggressively preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in various parts of the world, he was failing his children at home.

Just because we know something,
that doesn't obligate us to say it.

One might explain this as the periodical’s attempt to present an accurate, three-dimensional portrayal of the famed evangelist, including his flaws. They certainly had the right to do so, as our Constitution’s First Amendment guarantees. I have no quibble with this; it was the timing that troubled me.

Having been a journalist for many years, I know it’s common practice to prepare obituaries of the famous and infamous well in advance, in the event of their passing, expected or not. I’ve written some of those myself. So this “news” story of struggles within the Graham family obviously had been poised for publication, knowing the preacher’s advanced age and declining health. Even though these accounts were hardly breaking news, having already been acknowledged in books by Dr. Graham and several of his offspring, it seemed clear the intent was to emphasize his feet of clay. (Which we all have.)

This is just one example among many of society’s eagerness to expose the darker side of any well-known individual, sometimes even before the flesh has grown cold or the body’s been interred. But one need not hold qualifications for “Who’s Who” to receive similar treatment.

We’ve all felt dismay about the rise of social media bullying, individuals verbally pummeling anyone they choose, cowardly acts committed with computers and smart devices in the safety of their homes. What an curious practice, seeking to enhance one’s self-image by attacking others.   

Technology has conveniently placed at our fingertips the capacity for demeaning other individuals – and groups. But it’s hardly a new phenomenon – it’s as old as humankind. In fact, the Bible has much to say about this timeless form of antagonism.

Proverbs 12:18 tells us, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Elsewhere in the same chapter we read the antithesis, how encouraging words can have a profound, uplifting impact on the hearers: “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up” (Proverbs 12:25).

This isn’t calling for a Pollyanna perspective on life, ignoring problems, pain and peculiarities. But it takes little or no talent to identify faults in others – even as we ignore or minimize flaws of our own. It may take a bit more effort to form expressions of kindness and compassion, but they can do far more than we might imagine to help in making our world a better place.

As Proverbs 16:21 declares, “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.” When we hear juicy reports about others, whether it’s someone we know only through programs like “Entertainment Tonight” or our neighbor down the street, it’s easy to rush to a friend so we can let them in on the “news.” But as we’re cautioned by Proverbs 18:8, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels, they go down to a man’s inmost parts.”

Rather than succumbing to that temptation, it might be far better to remind ourselves that, “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9). There’s something tantalizing about knowing “inside information” we can share with others, but that doesn’t obligate us to broadcast it to everyone else. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered” (Proverbs 17:27).

We might not be the editors of an established publication making decisions about what to print and not to print about someone. But we all have it within our power to determine what we say about others, what we don’t say – and even how we say it. As Proverbs 15:23 notes, “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word!”

What’s God Got to Do With It?

There’s been considerable discussion about how – and even if – spiritual faith should intersect with how a privately owned company should be run. What's God got to do with it, right? The question has even reached the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court.

I’m not the person to weigh in on this issue from a legal perspective, but a broader concern is involved here. We often hear religion or faith described as “personal,” as if it’s something to stored away and dragged out only at appointed times and special occasions. “Faith is faith, and work is work, and never the twain shall meet” seems what society would have us believe.

This type of thinking often manifests itself in all strata of society, including the Oval Office. When President Obama discusses issues of faith, he often uses the term “freedom of worship” rather than “freedom of religion.” This distinction is significant.

The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is very specific in guaranteeing freedom of religion, and to me this is very different from freedom of worship. In the minds of many, worship is an isolated religious activity, removed from the flow of everyday life. To them it takes place in a church, synagogue, temple, mosque or other worship center – set apart from daily realities.

An ornate cross on a tabletop or desk
might be reflective of one's belief,
but genuine faith requires action.

This might suffice as “religion” for some, but many people sincerely find their beliefs influencing every aspect of their lives. Frankly, I cringe when people call me “religious.” To me that sounds rigid and superficial. I prefer being considered very spiritual, my spirituality being informed by the Bible.

There was a time when I, too, confined my religious/spiritual activities to an hour or two on a Sunday, only to spend the rest of the day – and remainder of the week – living as if there were no God. I’d attend worship services, then get frustrated in the church parking lot because people in front of me were slow in exiting. They were making me late for the football game on TV!

Then a discovery transformed what I believed: God was not a deity who’s “out there,” distant and unknowable, but Someone desiring an up-close-and-personal relationship with me. This meant much more than having my sins forgiven and receiving the promise of eternal life. It meant a new way for living each day, gaining God’s power to pursue life as He desired. God didn’t just want a sliver of my life, an hour or two each week. He wanted all of me, including my work.

Years ago a friend introduced me to Acts 17:28 which states, “For in him (Jesus) we live and move and have our being.” This means more than having a different mindset; it also involves changing our “modus operandi” – our method of operation or way we do things.

One of the curious aspects of Westernized thinking is we can claim to believe one thing and then unapologetically act in contradiction to that belief. However, the Bible clearly teaches true belief means acting upon what you believe. “In the same way, faith by itself, if it not accompanied by action, is dead” (James 2:17).

Over the years I’ve met hundreds of business and professional people, devoted followers of Jesus, whose thinking and actions are shaped by principles and truths they’ve learned in the Bible. They can’t separate their professional lives from their faith any more than they could remove their heads and continue walking.

The apostle Paul stated, “…I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). This is true for every genuine follower of Jesus. Spiritually, His life is manifested in us and He affects every dimension of our being.

It’s not a matter of being “religious,” or of worship for that matter. It’s a matter of living out the values and convictions Christ has given us – and this includes the workplace, whether we’re business owners, top executives, or simply employees.

To do otherwise is truly hypocritical.

A Problem of Prepositions

The ACLU and the Freedom From Religion Foundation are up in arms. People are making bold references to religion and faith – in public, no less. What’s a nation to do?

Here are just a few recent examples of these heinous, unconscionable acts: A pastor uses the word “God” six times, and quotes one Bible verse, in a seven-minute talk at a public school. Students pray over the PA system just before kickoff at football games. At some local government meetings, officials open with a brief prayer and Pledge of Allegiance, including the phrase “under God.” And a congregation decides to erect huge metal crosses on church property within easy view from the interstate highway.

Doesn’t the Constitution clearly call for a separation of church and state? What’s religion – or faith, or spirituality for that matter – got to do with real life? And how dare people who embrace such beliefs rub it in the noses of those who don’t?

Well, I think I’ve figured it out. It’s simple, really – it’s a problem of prepositions.

In case English wasn’t your strong subject in school, a preposition is a word that links nouns, pronouns and phrases to other words in a sentence. Prepositions include words such as “about,” “across,” “after,” “by,” “except,” “into,” “on” and “to.”

They also include “of” and “from.” And therein lies this dilemma we face with this compelling issue surrounding church and state.

The First Amendment of the Constitution's Bill of
Rights says government cannot restrict free
exercise or expression of religious faith.

The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech….” (I highlighted the preposition “of” in bold italics on purpose.) Nowhere does the Constitution make any provision for freedom from religion, although people certainly have the right – as many have exercised – not to believe.

Referred to as “the establishment clause” after its adoption, the amendment prohibits Federal or state governments from establishing an official church, along the lines of the Church of England, which early American immigrants had fled. But “establishment of religion” and freedom from religion are two very different and distinct things. Frankly, it’s a grammatical issue that Mrs. McGillicudy and her freshman English class at Anywhere High School could easily resolve.

Clearly in our age of “tolerance” and “enlightenment,” there are those who argue against any references to matters of faith and religion in the public square. But everyday we all are subjected to a “faith” and religion of a different sort – the worship of knowledge and the human intellect, the notion that the only things that matter are those that can be seen, felt and measured.

Faith, of course, doesn’t meet that criteria. After all, Hebrews 11:1 explains, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

But we’ve gone too far – and we did it too long ago. For many people, studies indicate the vast majority of people, spiritual beliefs are an important and influential dimension of their lives. Countless followers of Jesus, for example, would affirm the apostle Paul’s words in Acts 17:28: “For in him we live and move and have our being.” We could no more exclude Christ from every facet of our lives than we could do without oxygen.

Granted, many people believe differently. Muslims pray to Allah, and the most devout do that numerous times every day. Hindus, Buddhists and others pursue their beliefs in their own ways. And I wholeheartedly support their right to do so.

But we don’t need freedom from any of those. If an imam chose to offer a Muslim prayer at a public gathering; if a rabbi that doesn’t believe Jesus is the Messiah prayed to the God of Abraham; or other spiritual leaders gave prayers or offered thoughts on their respective beliefs, we should respectfully listen – and choose to disagree if we wish. There's no need to argue or become antagonistic.

Why can’t we return to the long-lost realm of common sense and realize – or rediscover – that our revered Constitution guarantees freedom of religion, but not freedom from religion? If anything, it assures freedom from the establishment of non-religion.