Years ago when I was a
magazine editor, we did a cover story on “accountability.” Personal
accountability was a hot topic. Everyone was talking about accountability
groups or having accountability partners. We don’t hear the term as much these
days, but it’s no less important.
Whether dancing, as this Asheville, N.C. statue depicts, or struggling through life, it's usually better to partner with others. |
I recall key principles
we presented in that edition of the magazine. One was that the goal of an
accountability partner is not to catch the other person doing something wrong,
but rather helping that individual to “win” by attaining goals and objectives he
or she had agreed upon to pursue. The person being held accountable sets the goals; the
accountability partner serves only to provide reminders and encouragement to
keep him or her on track.
For that reason, an
accountability partner should be someone without a vested interest in the other
individual’s performance. Being accountable to a person you report to in a
workplace setting, for example, wouldn’t be good, since that individual has a keen investment in what you do – and how you do it. We should be accountable
to someone whose apple cart won’t topple if we’re unsuccessful in meeting our goals.
The third important
principle I learned is we can’t be held accountable if we're not truly willing to be held
accountable. Sounds simple, but that’s foundational. For instance, a person
might be struggling with a major issue in his life – perhaps a recurring sin –
but if he doesn’t want to submit to being held accountable in that area, any
efforts to help will be futile.
Back in 1969, Frank
Sinatra’s hit tune “My Way” became an enduring classic, reflecting on our predisposition
to “do it my way.” Sinatra, of course, didn’t invent this perspective, but he
did give it an enchanting melody. The tune lilts through my mind as I write.
The problem is, as
many of us have sadly discovered, “my way” isn’t always the best way. Living
life on impulse and in isolation, guided by self-absorbed tunnel vision, can keep
us from seeing potential potholes and pitfalls as we advance in our journey
through life and work. Becoming accountable to another person – or a small
group of people – isn’t a guarantee that we won’t fail, but can help us in
avoiding a lot of mistakes while helping us to achieve a lot of positive goals.
A couple of Bible
passages address this specifically. Proverbs 27:17 declares, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man (or
woman) sharpens another.” Do you have someone “sharpening” you, helping you
in your desire to accomplish some things you’d struggle to achieve on your own?
Then there’s
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, which talks about the power in numbers: “Two are better than one…a cord of three
strands is hard to break.” Sounds like a small accountability group to me,
a handful of men or women that agree to meet on a regular basis with their sole
intent being to help one another to win, to work toward meaningful goals and
overcome besetting struggles through mutual support, admonition, and a
willingness to ask – and be asked – tough questions.