Black Friday, Charcoal Thursday?

Are you one of those people that can’t wait for the day after Thanksgiving to do your best to boost the American economy through your pursuit of great bargains on the so-called “Black Friday”?

Happily, this year you don’t have to wait. Many retail institutions have kindly agreed to open their doors early. Not even in the wee hours of Friday morning, but Thursday evening, while remnants of the turkey-basted holiday still lie scattered on tables and kitchen counters across the USA. Don’t you just love this country?

Doze-inducing tryptophan is still coursing through our veins; some of the Thanksgiving Day football games haven’t even kicked off yet; helium still holds some of the holiday parade balloons aloft, and we have an early opportunity to engage in that great American holiday – spending money we don’t have to buy gifts for people we don’t even like that much, to give them things they don’t really need.

But that’s what America, capitalism and conspicuous consumption are all about right? Especially at Christmas.

I’ll never forget President George W. Bush’s cautionary closing words when he spoke the day following the events of 9/11: “Don’t stop shopping.” He understood, of course, our national economy is based on our propensity for buying stuff, satisfying our wants as well as our needs. That holds true even in times of frivolity and celebration. If we all suddenly decided to take a spending sabbatical, even a week or two, it would usher in economic chaos.

So if you hear the siren song of the mall around 6 p.m. or so on Thanksgiving Day, don’t feel guilty if you feel compelled to rush right over and take out your credit cards – or cash, if you’re into that kind of thing – and spend, spend, spend to save. You’ll be a true patriot, giving the U.S. economy a much-needed shot in the arm. Don’t even think of it as Thanksgiving Day – rather, in deference to Black Friday, call it Charcoal Thursday. (Especially if you managed to overcook the turkey a bit.)

But while you’re doing that, consider the advice Jesus gave to followers and curiosity seekers while delivering His sermon on the mount:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, whether moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21).

Don’t let me Scrooge all over your very early Christmas preparations. I’ll admit to enjoying the seasonal gift exchange tradition myself. But while we’re singing about having ourselves a merry little Christmas and roasting chestnuts over an open fire, it’s never too early to start remembering the real reason for the season.

It’s not about things concealed in pretty paper and bows that will break, fall apart or wear out before the next Christmas rolls around. They’re nice and fun and all that. But ultimately, the Christmas season is – or should be – about a much greater treasure.

Giving Thanks When You Don’t Feel Thankful

Sometimes blessings seem to be overflowing.
 But what about times when they're not?

Thanksgiving means different things to many people: Pilgrims and native Americans sharing a meal; turkeys – living, or roasted and stuffed; family and friends getting together to stuff themselves; traditional football games; Grandma’s favorite recipes; holiday parades; pecan or pumpkin pie. Some people actually see it as a day for truly giving thanks to God for blessings they’ve experienced over the past year.

But what if the day arrives and you don’t feel thankful? You’ve recently lost a dear loved one; confronted seemingly insurmountable financial problems; dealt with serious health issues; faced intense family conflict; lost a job, or just feel like has dealt you a bad hand in general and there’s no re-deal. How can you be thankful for things such as these?

Years ago I helped my friend, Albert, write a booklet about his life titled, “Saying ‘Thank You’ Even When You Don’t Feel Thankful.” Those who know him understand he’s had many reasons for not feeling thankful.

He grew up in the Netherlands during World War II, enduring great poverty and near-starvation. He and his family subsisted on tulip bulbs and occasional sugar beets. One result of malnutrition was contracting tuberculosis and being confined to a bed for more than three years, 2½ of those in a hospital far from his family.

After immigrating to the United States, Albert worked hard and eventually became a successful entrepreneur, but has endured various vocational setbacks and other illnesses, including cancer. He’s got every reason to not be thankful, whether at Thanksgiving or any other time. And yet, he’s perhaps the most joyful, thankful person I know.

Why? He insists there’s only one reason – his relationship with Jesus Christ and confidence that no matter what happens, God is with him every step along the way, providing comfort, strength and whatever else is needed to endure and overcome his adversities.

Albert explains, “God is in control of all things. When you accept Christ, your life is going to be totally changed. One of those changes is that you realize everything is going to be all right, no matter what.

“I have seen God prove this in my life many times,” he says. “I’ve had half of a lung removed because of a faulty biopsy report. One night I was riding in a car on the German Autobahn. Suddenly a car stopped directly in front of us. We struck it going about 95 miles an hour, yet I was able to walk away from the accident. And I’ve had many ups and downs in business.

“God never promises things will be easy when you become a Christian, but He does promise He will take care of you no matter what the circumstances may be.”

For Albert, reflecting on his life’s highs and lows, one passage from the Bible sums up the hope – confident assurance and earnest expectation – that has sustained him during his adult life: “Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Having known Albert for more than 30 years, I know these are not empty words or platitudes, but the heartfelt expression of a man who has walked intimately with God and wouldn’t trade his life with anyone or for anything.

I hope when Thanksgiving Day arrives this Thursday, you’ll find much for which to be thankful. If not, I hope that like my friend, you’ll have the faith to give thanks even if you don’t feel thankful. 

Challenges of Change

Like the relentless, always changing waves of the sea,
everyday life and work are subject to constant change.

How do you react to change? Does it make you excited, eager to tackle the new and unfamiliar? Does it fill you with dread, terrified by what lies ahead? Or do you respond, “Well, it depends – what kind of change are we talking about?”

In Leaders Legacy, the organization I work with, we use a motivational assessment tool, the Birkman Method, a great help with leaders we are coaching and mentoring. One of the key components the Birkman identifies is how much change people want and can manage effectively.

Some people have a strong need for change. They find repetitive routines despiriting and energy draining. From their standpoint, the more change the better. Other people, however, aren’t fond of change. In fact, some resist it in all forms. Slight alterations to their work environment, a store closing at their local mall, or even moving the furniture around at home, can be disconcerting.

Most of us probably fit somewhere in the middle. Variety is the spice of life – as long as it’s not too spicy, right? And in reality, change is a lot more palatable when it’s on our terms, or at least we feel we’ve had input into what changes are made, and how.

But love it, like it or hate it, change is here to stay. The saying used to be that there are two certainties in life – death and taxes. Now there’s a third – change. Whether it’s technology, the economy, political trends, the weather, sports, or society in general, change is the only constant.

Ecclesiastes 3 starts with the declaration, “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die…a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…” (verses 1-4). If those words sound familiar, most were part of a rock song in the ‘60s, “Turn! Turn!” by The Byrds.

Time’s relentless march ages our bodies, turns babies into children and then adults, wears out our clothes, and brings decay to our cherished machines. As soon as we grow accustomed to anything, it changes. It seems like spring was just yesterday, and today we’re in the midst of autumn. Before you blink your eyes, winter will be here.

Don’t you sometimes wish we could slow down change? Wouldn’t it be nice if some things never changed? We’re hard-pressed to find much in the natural world that doesn’t change, but in the spiritual realm we’re assured we can trust in a faithful, unchanging God.

“I the Lord do not change,” He declares in Malachi 3:6, and Hebrews 13: 8 promises, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

What does this mean for us? When we read God’s promises to His people, we can trust those promises will be fulfilled for us – just as they have for believers through the centuries. He offers us grace, love and mercy, and won’t withhold them because He’s changed His mind.

And as we look beyond this life toward the life to come, we can anticipate what Jesus assured His followers 2,000 years ago: “Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am” (John 14:1-3).

If you were on a boat in the midst of a storm, it would be very reassuring to know the vessel was securely anchored. With Christ – in the midst of change, turmoil, even distressing circumstances – we have that anchor, unaffected by the howling winds and crashing waves we might be forced to confront.

A Little Bit of the Real Thing, Without Catching It

Have you gotten your flu shot yet? If not, you’ll probably want to do so soon – being laid up with the flu isn’t something anybody puts on a bucket list. It’s interesting, isn’t it? We go to the doctor, or local pharmacy, to receive a vaccination containing a tiny bit of the real disease, a killed or weakened strain, so we won’t catch the disease itself. Just enough so we don’t get infected.

An effective vaccine gives you just enough
of the disease so you don't catch it.

A vaccine – for maladies like the flu, shingles, measles, polio, rubella, diphtheria, whooping cough and smallpox – contains dead germs that cause our bodies to produce antibodies, defenders against the live germs that cause the disease. The result is immunity against foreign invaders, antigens that can attack and afflict a healthy body. (Thus sayeth Google.)

End of science lesson. My point is, being vaccinated physically is usually a good thing. But spiritually? Not so much.

We often hear of individuals, particularly young people, turning their backs on the faith in which they were raised. They might have belonged to families that attended services every time the doors opened. Their parents might have been prominent in their spiritual community. In some instances their fathers were revered pastors. But for these offspring, teachings they heard and faith they saw demonstrated – or thought they were seeing – weren’t enough.

The question becomes, why not?

First off, faith in Jesus Christ isn’t something one inherits or passes on to the next generation. You can’t write it in your will. You can demonstrate it through your own life, and be remembered for it, even as part of your personal legacy, but you can’t bequeath it to anyone.

Genuine faith is both personal and individual. No one can give it to us. Unlike disease, faith can be communicated, but it's not communicable. But perhaps we can become “vaccinated” against it.

Young people are amazingly perceptive. They can spot counterfeits from miles away, especially of the “do as I say, not as I do” variety. They are justifiably suspicious of people that don’t practice what they are so fond of preaching.

And in today’s religious culture, in efforts to make the Bible and talk of God more “palatable,” the message has sometimes become so diluted as to become virtually meaningless – and “harmless.” Sounds a bit like a vaccine.

This might be one reason the apostle James wrote words some people through the centuries have found troubling, referring to the importance of inward faith being evidenced by outward behavior. “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead…. As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead” (James 2:17,26). Similar to a vaccine?

He wasn’t suggesting the Bible teaches we can earn God’s acceptance or that the biblical doctrine of grace (undeserved, unmerited favor) is in any way lacking. But he was pointing out professed faith, without actions that flow from it, might be as counterfeit as a supposed apple tree that never bears fruit.

If our walk fails to align with our talk, no matter how piously and properly we speak, maybe we should check to see whether our faith is genuine – or if we’ve only been vaccinated. 

Happy, Happy, Happy

A Facebook friend, in response to one of my comments, recently observed how we feel about things and life in general, like being happy or sad, is largely a matter of choice. There’s a lot of validity to that. I recall years ago someone wrote a book called Happiness is a Choice. I never read it, so apparently I chose to be happy without it.

In many instances we can actively choose our attitudes. Urban Meyer, head coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes football team (it’s my blog, so I can mention them if I want!) has been using a formula with his players supporting this concept: E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome).

That idea finds affirmation in many quarters. We all remember the lilting Bobby McFerrin tune, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” I’ve not become an avid fan of the TV reality series “Duck Dynasty,” but noticed Phil Robertson, the original Duck commander (head quack pot?) has written an autobiography called Happy, Happy, Happy. Better than sad, sad, sad for sure.

"Happy" can come and go in
an instant. "Joy" stays forever.

Being essentially a glass-half-full kind of person, finding the happier side of things might be easier for me than for some others. But I only agree with the notion that we can choose to be happy to a degree. Since our state of “happy” is strongly influenced by happenings around us, remaining happy about everything would require some level of lunacy or cluelessness.

Suppose you’ve had an enjoyable time at the mall, bought a few nice things you needed – or wanted – and you’re feeling happy. Then you notice the fender on your car, smashed, taillight in smithereens on the pavement. You search for a note from the offending motorist, but there’s none. It was hit-and-run, and now you’re calling your insurance agent, unsure about the extent of your uninsured motorist coverage. How happy are you now?

Or you’ve been having a bothersome pain, so you go to your physician, who orders a couple of tests and some blood work. “It’s probably nothing to be concerned about,” she assures you in her best effort to avoid admitting, “I don’t have a clue what’s wrong with you.” A day or two later you receive a phone call and learn the “probably nothing” is definitely something, and it needs to be treated immediately. How happy are you now?

Or you report for work, as you have the past dozen years or so, ready to tackle another day of challenges. Your boss calls and asks you to come by his office. As compassionately as possible, he informs you the company is being forced to make some regrettable cuts – and sorry, you’re a “cut-ee.” How happy are you now?

There’s even a misconception that if you’re a follower of Christ you’re supposed to be continually happy. After all, doesn’t the old hymn say, “and now I am happy all the day”? But in reality, the state of being or feeling happy is neither requirement nor expectation for following Jesus.

Checking with my trusty concordance, the word “happy” appears less than 30 times in the entire Bible. However, there are more than 200 variations of the word “joy” in the Bible. In reality, happy is to joy what a housecat is to a tiger. Totally different animal.

Yes, there are many times when happiness and joy intersect. But joy can exist – even endure – when happy goes away. That’s the promise Jesus made to all who follow Him.

He said, “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:9-11).

One thing Jesus never promised His followers was they would always be happy or without problems. In fact, He assured just the opposite. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). In place of “take heart,” other translations use the words “be courageous” or “be of good cheer.” In other words, we can rejoice even when we find nothing to feel happy about.

Gazing at the world around us, some of us may be delighted by what we see, others may feel distressed. You might have just experienced one of the happiest moments of your life, or you may be enduring a great personal loss or tragedy. Regardless of the circumstances, even when we feel overwhelmed, incapable of choosing to be happy, we can experience the joy only Jesus can give. 

No Thrill in Waiting

Waiting for a special event to start, like a charity run supporting
a good cause, is tolerable. But we still want to get on with it.

“Wait!”

In today’s society, wait is among our most-hated words. It doesn’t matter whether we’re in a line at the bank, the grocery store, fast-food restaurant, retail store, the gas pump, or the post office. Especially at the post office! We don’t like waiting. “Time’s a-wasting. My life is starting to pass before my eyes!”

No one has time these days for waiting. No wonder the lurching launch of Obamacare, the Affordable Health Care Act, stirred such frustration. If people are supposed to sign up for it, they certainly don’t like having to wait to do so.

FedEx, the Internet, email, text messaging, even the almost-extinct fax machine, all have come about in part because of our reluctance to wait to communicate.

The adage said, “A watched pot never boils.” Today it is “a watched microwave never beeps.” If we’re online and click on a web link, we don’t want to wait for it to appear. We expect it to leap to our screen instantaneously. If we have to download computer software, we wring our hands as we wait for it to finish. So super-fast connection speeds are essential.

And I hardly need to mention the frustration of having to wait in a traffic jam. We’ve all been there and know it too well. Is it a traffic accident, construction, malfunctioning signal? It doesn’t matter. Just don’t make me wait!

Our capacity for waiting in a line for food,
however, depends on how hungry we are - and
what's next on the agenda.

Because of the ever-escalating pace of life, patience and the capacity for waiting have become lost virtues. TV programming and commercials consist of images rapidly changing every few seconds so we don’t lose interest. Theme parks have special express lines for people who don’t appreciate the thrill of waiting 30 minutes or longer for popular rides.

But the fact is, much of life is devoted to waiting, often for good things: Anticipating a happy event, such as a wedding, the birth of a baby, an important ballgame, a birthday or anniversary, or Christmas. Applying for admission to college and waiting hopefully for a letter of acceptance. Interviewing for a job, then awaiting a call back. Having a medical procedure done, especially for a potentially serious problem, and then waiting for the results. If the wait ends with a good report, we consider it worthwhile.

So is it any surprise that God in the Scriptures often asks us to wait? Over the years, in facing a variety of slow-to-resolve issues both at work and at home, I’ve often meditated on Psalm 37. I found it comforting, reassuring – and troublesome – to read, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…” (verse 7) and “Wait for the Lord and keep his way…” (verse 34).

King David, who wrote many of the psalms, must have spent a lot of time in God’s “waiting room,” since he also penned passages like “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14). When we read something like that, we want to respond, “Yeah, David, that was easy for you to say!”

However, he also made it clear the waiting was not futile, that his trust in the Lord’s timely response was rewarded. That’s why David could write, “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand” (Psalm 40:1-2).

Does God have you in His waiting room? Or have you been there recently? I’ve spent much time there myself. Most of the time it’s proved well worth the wait. Is waiting easy? No. Is it fun? Not at all. If we’re willing, when He asks us to “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10), we can be assured He has a good reason for doing so.

Wanting What We Want – and Mad When We Don’t Get It

This Phillip Martin illustration shows conflict at its
worst - two people determined to get what they want.

My friend Brad, an attorney, specializes in mediation and conflict resolution. Factors that contribute to conflict are complex and diverse, but in many cases he has found a singular, common cause – people don’t get what they want.

Think about it: Marriages descend into turmoil because one or both spouses insist on getting their own way and become furious when they don’t. Close friends part because expectations aren’t met. They risk destroying loving and long-term relationships because they don’t get what they want.

Churches split because quarreling factions arise, one side set on a certain course and another side insisting on a different way. Professional athletes angrily accuse owners or management of “disrespecting” them because their demands aren’t met. In both scenarios the complaint is much the same: “We’re not getting what we want.”

When we think “conflict,” many of us turn our thoughts almost immediately to Washington, D.C., where Democrats and Republicans choose to take positions of arrogance and stubbornness over compromise and mutual understanding. Leaders of both parties engage in bitter conflict – to the detriment of the American people – all because of the belief they’re not getting what they want.

Of course this is nothing new. Throughout the history of mankind, conflicts of all magnitudes have spawned battles and wars because people didn’t get what they wanted. Look at any major war and you’ll find an element of this to some degree.

Fame and fortune offer no antidotes for conflict. Celebrated comic duos like Abbott and Costello, Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, all experienced intense conflicts, even if not as highly publicized as such clashes are in today’s media. The same has been the case through the years with many of the great musical groups, including the Beatles, and Simon and Garfunkel. So-called “perfect Hollywood couples” announce separations due to “irreconcilable differences.” Translation: “We’re not getting what we want.”

We even find this reality represented over and over in the Bible, which doesn’t sugarcoat such strife. “I want what I want” conflicts started with Cain and Abel. They continued with Abraham and his nephew, Lot; Joseph and his jealous brothers; Samson and Delilah; David and Saul; Barnabas and Paul. And let’s not forget the classic example: Judas Iscariot.

James 4:1-2 tells us, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.”

So what’s the solution? Like conflicts themselves, resolving them usually isn’t easy or simple. But the passage above points out an important principle. When we don’t get what we want, we should appeal to God for it rather than trying to get it through our own feeble and faulty efforts.

And if He says no, if our prayers aren’t answered – at least not in the way we want – we should be willing to accept that He knows us better than we know ourselves, and that His plans are better than ours.

After all, as 1 Timothy 6:6 states, “godliness with contentment is great gain.” This might seem unrealistic in our “it’s all about me” culture, which seems to dismiss contentment as foolish, impractical, even weak. But it’s God’s way; and His way is always better.

Ambassadors of More Than Good Will

In October, the U.S. Senate confirmed the appointment of Caroline Kennedy as U.S. ambassador to Japan. (Can you believe, by the way, that Caroline turns 56 later this month? How time flies, at least for us Baby Boomers, who remember her as the wee little girl running around the White House when her father, John F. Kennedy, was President.)

Ambassadors have been in the news a lot lately. Debate continues over the Sept. 11, 2012 terrorist attack on the diplomatic mission in Benghazi, Libya, in which four Americans were killed, including U.S. Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens, and 10 other people injured.

The United Nations in New York
City is filled with ambassadors who
represent their respective countries.

The fact ambassadors and embassies are making headlines is newsworthy in itself. Because unlike most political offices, in which those elected often seek publicity to promote their legislation and causes or to further their careers and ambitions, ambassadors aren’t there to call attention to themselves.

Typically, ambassadorships are bestowed as rewards for meritorious service, gestures of appreciation for aiding the President in some way, or a graceful transition from more rigorous public service. But ambassadors – unless you come from a famous political family or get assassinated on foreign soil – rarely generate front-page attention or lead off the evening news.

We sometimes hear about “good will ambassadors,” but the real task of the ambassador entails much more than shaking hands and being friendly. The duty, simply put, is to represent someone of greater authority – like a chief executive, or a foreign state – speaking on his or her behalf. Their jobs are not to espouse and seek to advance their own agendas.

So it’s interesting to read a Bible passage describing followers of Jesus as ambassadors. “Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ. God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:20).

We often hear people that don’t share faith in Jesus basically telling His followers to “shut up.” Talking to others about Him, they contend, is offensive, intolerant, narrow-minded, bigoted, and not nice. While nonbelievers have every right to believe – or disbelieve – as they do, followers of Christ don’t have much choice.

Imagine, for instance, Ms. Kennedy arriving in Japan and rather than properly representing U.S. interests on various issues, she elects to take opposing stances. At state dinners, instead of being a loyal, steadfast representative of the United States, she consistently badmouths our nation and undermines all diplomatic initiatives. And when given an important message to deliver, she refuses to do so. What kind of ambassador would she be?

In a similar way, the Bible declares, God has entrusted His people with an urgent message and desires for us to communicate it as faithfully and effectively as possible. This message, the same passage states, is “the message of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:19). In another passage, the apostle Paul explains, “…the gospel that was preached by me is not man’s gospel. For I did not receive it from any man nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ” (Galatians 1:11-12).

That’s the essence of being an ambassador – not speaking for yourself, but on behalf of the person or entity you represent. Certainly, like a foreign ambassador, those called to serve as ambassadors for Jesus need to do so with “gentleness and respect” as they’re instructed in 1 Peter 3:15. At the same time, it’s not our place to promote our own agendas, personal opinions or philosophies “in the name of Christ.” We are to speak for Him – consistent with what He’s revealed to us in the Scriptures.

But to refuse to speak – to fail to communicate God’s message at the appropriate time and setting? For the believer, that just isn’t an option.