Friday, September 25, 2009

Pondering the Imponderable

Recently a friend sent me a list of commonly accepted ideas that, when you stop to think about them, leave you scratching your head. Here are some of them, along with others I have collected:

- If you eat a lot of natural foods, will you die of natural causes?
- Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?
- Can illiterate people appreciate Alphabet Soup?
- If corn oil comes from corn, and vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?
- If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
- If a person playing a piano is called a pianist, why isn’t someone driving a race car called a racist?
- Do Lipton Tea workers take coffee breaks?
- If FedEx and UPS merged, would it be called Fed UP?
- Is it true that no matter where you go, there you are?
- If a watched pot never boils, does a watched microwave never beep?
- Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
- If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, are electricians delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
- If we can tell when something is out of whack, how can we tell when it’s “in whack”?
- Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
- Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?
- If we’re feeling blue, should we stop holding our breath?

And perhaps the greatest imponderable of all comes from the Bible: “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?” (Psalm 8:3-4).

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