Doing and Listening – Striking the Delicate Balance

There are all kinds of people in this world: Tall, short and somewhere in between; skinny and uh, not so skinny; of various colors and hues, ethnicities, interests and beliefs; loud and quiet; and, it seems, an ever-increasing number of other classifications.

But two primary groups span all of the other differences – those who do things and get things done, and those who spend most of their time talking about what should be done or what they intend to do.

In the Bible, we find those two distinctive types depicted vividly. For instance, we see the “Proverbs 31 woman,” an incredibly industrious person. Starting with the 10^th verse in the last chapter of Proverbs, this woman is described as, “a wife of noble character…worth far more than rubies.” 

Over the next 21 verses, the passage proceeds to list her activities and accomplishments. She “selects wool and flax…works with eager hands…. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.She considers a field and buys it…plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously…sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night…. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” It says everyone in her household is “clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed, she is clothed in fine linen and purple.” Whew!

More is said about this woman, possibly a specific individual or maybe a composite of what a godly, hard-working, determined person should be like. Entire books have been written about “Mrs. Proverbs 31” and her virtuous traits. But the passage then contrasts this woman with her spouse: “Her husband…respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land” (Proverbs 31:23). 

I wouldn’t say my wife and I match the two types perfectly – not hardly – but she’s a lot like “#31,” while I’m like the elders at the gate, sitting around, talking with great intensity, seeking to solve the problems of the world. While guys like this expend copious amounts of words, perhaps accomplishing little, the gals say in essence, “Enough of the talking already. Let’s do something.”

We see another example in the Scriptures of “do vs. talk about doing” personalities. Luke 10:38-41 introduces us to two sisters, Mary and Martha, during an impromptu visit they receive from Jesus. Mary, it says, sits at Jesus’ feet, listening intently to what He has to say. “Busy bee” Martha, however, becomes “distracted by all the preparations that made to be made.” 

Finally, in frustration Martha goes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” In other words, she’s saying, “What’s up with this? While Mary’s chilling, absorbing Your pearls of wisdom, Lord, somebody’s got to make sure everyone has a nice hot meal. Help!”

Who can blame her? Think back to Mrs. Proverbs 31, who knew something had to get done. Rather than sitting around trying to figure out who should be doing it, she went ahead and did it. That fit Martha to a T. And Ecclesiastes 4:9 does say, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.”

But then Jesus has a strange response. He says, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her” (Luke 10:41). That’s it. End of story. If Martha has a comeback in this little conversation, the Bible doesn’t enlighten us on what she says.

So, what are we to make of all this? Seems to me the Scriptures are telling us there is a place for both types – at the proper time. In the business world, we find executives who plan meetings to discuss future meetings. In politics, we see many elected officials who wax eloquent with words, but aren't so abundant with their deeds. When all is said and done, they’ve said a whole lot more than they’ve done.

But as we read in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…a time to plant and a time to uproot…a time to tear down and a time to build…a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them…a time to be silent and a time to speak.” Just as we can err in devoting too much time to talking and listening, and not enough to working to accomplish things, other times we need to hit the “Pause” button, to “cease striving” as Psalm 46:10 says, and just listen, think and meditate. 

Especially when it comes to discerning what God is telling us and what He wants us to be doing. In its entirety, Psalm 46:10 says, “Cease striving and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Other translations put it, “Be still, and know that I am God.” We may be well-intended, but we can become so busy try to do for God that we impede what He wants to do in us and through us – all for His glory. 

We need to remember, He created and sustains the universe. The Lord doesn’t need our help. But He graciously allows us to participate in His work. The question for us is, “What is the work God has for us to participate in?” There’s a time to be a Martha. But there’s also a time for being a Mary. Our challenge is to have the wisdom, as Jesus said, to choose which is better for the moment.

Four P’s of Physical – and Spiritual - Recovery

In 2007, marking the one-year anniversary of my open-heart surgery, I returned to the hospital where the procedure was performed. Thankful I had come through the surgery successfully, I wanted to visit the Surgical ICU where I had begun my recovery.

During that impromptu visit, a hospital staff person invited me to become a “cardiac volunteer,” visiting patients who had just undergone surgeries similar to mine. I didn’t have to ponder this opportunity for long. I remembered the questions I had lying in a hospital bed, feeling post-surgical pain and soreness, and wondering if this was how it was supposed to be. Medical staff, I discovered, are reluctant to be definitive about how you’ll feel, how quickly you’ll recover, etc.

I also thought of the passage in the Scriptures that talks of “…the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). God had indeed comforted me before and after my surgery, and it seemed only right to make myself available to encourage others, sharing my own story and giving them hope that their current pain would only be temporary.

Over the next five years or so, I visited hundreds of fellow open-heart survivors typically feeling, as I had, like a pickup truck had hit them in the chest – then backed up and hit them again. I don’t recommend the experience if you can avoid it. Nevertheless, I could serve as evidence that better days lie ahead.

During these visits I often shared what I called “the 4 P’s of Recovery”: Patience, Perseverance, Positive attitude, and Prayer. Something simple to leave with them as they began their slow and sometimes painful journey toward renewed health and full strength.

Patience is because after any major surgery, healing takes time; it’s a while before you even begin approaching 100 percent again. No sense becoming impatient when you don’t bounce back as quickly as you’d like. Perseverance because during the process, there are things you must do, such as: Taking medications regularly as prescribed. Following the physicians’ counsel regarding physical activity. Engaging in rehabilitation – exercises and therapy – and in most cases, this will continue for weeks, even months.

There’s the need for a Positive attitude – studies have shown that maintaining a positive, optimistic attitude is a key, intangible ingredient for experiencing full recovery. Reminding ourselves that even in the midst of pain and weakness, better days lie ahead. And finally, Prayer – prayer for yourself, as well as having family, friends and other caring folks praying for you. When I’ve had my surgeries, God impressed upon hundreds of people to keep me in their prayers. You can’t quantify this, but there’s no doubting the value of prayers lifted up to God – and His eagerness to answer them.

It occurred to me that at one time or another, many of us must go through another kind of recovery – spiritual – and these same 4 P’s of Recovery apply just as well to our spiritual well-being and progress.

Patience is listed among the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5:22-23. And the apostle Paul, after describing some of the adversity he had faced as an ardent follower of Jesus Christ, said he was able to endure, “in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love” (2 Corinthians 6:6). As with huge redwoods, spiritual giants are not grown overnight – it takes an entire lifetime.

Perseverance is critical, because anyone can start well. Tragically, comparatively few finish well. And one reason for this is they are unwilling to persevere, to hold fast to their resolve when the inevitable trials, testing and hardships come. This is why Paul wrote, “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4). The apostle James seconded the motion, admonishing us to “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you have trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must  finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

The impact of a Positive attitude cannot be overstated, for both physical and spiritual recovery and maintenance. Rather than focusing on the gathering darkness and chaos around us, we can be “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2). To avoid lapsing into negativity and despair, we can heed Paul’s advice: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Philippians 4:8). “Accentuating the positive,” so to speak, enables us to avoid dwelling on the negative.

Finally, Prayer is simply talking to God – sharing from our hearts, but also taking the time to listen to Him, whether in reading His Word, hearing a strong, Bible-based message, or listening to wise counsel from a trusted friend who also is a believer.

The apostle Paul actually asked people to pray for him, can you believe it? “Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel…. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should” (Ephesians 6:19-20).

We are not asked, but commanded, to uphold one another in prayer: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). 

In the final hours before His kangaroo court trial and crucifixion, even Jesus wanted others to pray with Him. Confronting His sleepy disciples after going off to pray alone, Jesus said to Peter, “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?... Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:40-41).

There you have it – if you want to experience healing and growth, both physically and spiritually, be patient, persevere, remain positive, and pray. These are key ingredients in God’s recipe for an abundant, fruitful life.

Faithful vs. Fearful: It Matters Who’s Victorious

2003 photo of "Old Faithful," by Phil 
Konstantin, via Wikipedia.

When you hear the word “faithful," what comes to mind? A loyal pooch – maybe even a service dog – that’s always there when needed, no matter what? A spouse who has never strayed, even in times when their own trust was put to the test? Or perhaps, an employee who has worked for a company without fail, even in periods of great adversity? The geyser, “Old Faithful,” in Yellowstone Park that spouts off predictably every day?

I’m tempted to think in those terms as well, but at its heart, faithful means to be “full of, or filled with faith.” This faith, in turn, might be the single-most factor that enables a canine to be there whenever needed, a spouse to remain true to his or her wedding vows, or a worker to continue to carry out job responsibilities even during tough times.

As we read the Scriptures, we find the term “faithful” used somewhat differently, however. For instance, in one of my favorite verses, 2 Timothy 2:2, the apostle Paul admonishes, “And the things you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, these entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” Okay, you might be thinking, but what does Paul mean by “faithful”?

We get a clue in the 11^th chapter of Hebrews, the so-called “hall of faith,” which presents an impressive list of people who exhibited extraordinary faith throughout biblical history. This list begins with Abel, who died at the hands of his envious brother, Cain, and proceeds to cite people like Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Gideon, Samson, David, Samuel the prophet, even a prostitute named Rahab.

So, what was it that singled them out as faithful people? I think there’s a simple answer to that: They weren’t fearful. Or to state it another way, they weren’t filled with fear.

Each of these men and women, if you study their stories in the Scriptures, could have found many reasons to be fearful. Instead, they chose to remain faithful – to the God they believed in and served, and to the unique callings the Lord had placed on their lives.

We might argue, “Yes, but that was centuries, even thousands of years ago. What does that have to do with us?” Times may have changed, technology may have revolutionized ways in which we live, but the nature of humanity isn’t very different from what it was back in their day.

Look at it this way: If you find yourself out of work, or employed but in a job you detest, are you faithful – filled with faith – or fearful? Should you (or a loved one) receive a frightening diagnosis from a doctor, are you faithful or fearful? When you encounter financial challenges of one kind or another, and can’t see a way to resolve them, are you faithful or fearful? When the “happily ever after” you anticipated when you exchanged wedding vows with your spouse hasn’t materialized as expected, are you faithful or fearful?

How we respond in these and other circumstances – which prevails in the perpetual battle of faithful vs. fearful – makes all the difference in the quality and fruitfulness of our walk with Jesus Christ. 

As the Hebrews faith chapter concludes, “These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect” (Hebrews 11:39-40). Whenever we find ourselves in the spiritual shopping aisle, confronted with the choice of Faithful or Fearful, it’s proven: Faithful is always better.

Moneychangers – and Making Room

This marks a first for me and for my “Just Thinking” blog: Since I started it in 2008, the content has been solely a product of what I happened to be, appropriately enough, just thinking. But recently I came across a brief devotional message by my longtime friend, Mike Connor, that impressed me so much I wanted to share it with all those – many or few – who kindly read my writings. It was part of a collection of reflections his church, St. John’s Lutheran in Salisbury, N.C. and a sister church in Bethlehem, Israel, Christmas Lutheran, compiled for the Advent season. Here is Mike’s meditation, and I’ll follow it with a few comments of my own:

“Jesus went straight to the Temple and threw out everyone who had set up shop, buying and selling…. Now there was room for the blind and crippled to get in. They came to Jesus and he healed them” (Matthew 21:12,14).

“As a child, I was quite impressed with ‘The Cleansing of the Temple’ account. I imagined Jesus standing up to the bad guys, very similar to the inevitable saloon fights depicted in old TV westerns. Even now, I still focus on Jesus banishing the bad elements from the temple and concluding with His scripture, ‘My house was designated a house of prayer; You have made it a hangout for thieves.’ We understand these merchants and money changers were personally profiting and thereby detracting from Temple’s true purpose, but their removal is not the end of the story. This bold action of Jesus makes room for those who were being excluded. At that time, the blind and other individuals with disabilities were marginalized. Many believed that personal disabilities were a result of sin and a sign of God’s disfavor. The compassion of Jesus is radically counter-cultural.

A St. John’s friend recently encouraged me to consider how this scripture relates to us as the Temple of the Holy Spirit. What is taking up space in my life and impeding spiritual growth? I have to confess that I live a privileged life and would like it to stay that way. I also want this for loved ones. It is natural to desire good health and a problem-free life, but when I’m not careful this focus takes up too much space in my spiritual walk. I’m open to God’s direction, as long as it doesn’t disturb my plans. 

When I admit my brokenness and seek healing, I’m making more room for the Holy Spirit. These experiences occur in both personal contemplation and intimate fellowship with others. It’s a true blessing to be in relationship with people of faith who are open about their brokenness. I’ve had the privilege to experience this with loved ones, including Palestinians living in the West Bank. Jesus calls us to be selfless and compassionate, but we need not consider it a command or something we “should do.” Rather, we find our true soul when we relinquish our selfish egos. We create space for the Holy Spirit to work both in ourselves and throughout our community. 

Dear Lord, we thank you for your Son’s compassion. We confess the many times we hold onto our selfish desires and block your Holy Spirit’s creative power. Help us focus on selflessness so that we may grow in our relationship with you and further your kingdom. Amen.” 

– Mike Connor 

Frankly, what impressed me first about my friend’s meditation was the rendition of Matthew 21:12,14. It’s taken from The Message, a Bible paraphrase by Eugene H. Peterson. It says that once Jesus evicted the profiteers – other translations term them “money changers” – then “there was room for the blind and crippled to get in. Then they came to Jesus and he healed them.” I had never seen this passage phrased in this way before, and it struck me like the proverbial ton of bricks.

Although we weren’t there when Jesus did chased out the Temple retailers, I suspect we’ve all experienced something similar, both in our personal lives and in our congregations. Getting so caught up in self and our wants can hinder us from advancing spiritually. As Mike wrote, “I’m open to God’s direction, as long as it doesn’t disturb my plans.”

And our churches, many of them featuring slick media presentations, high-tech musical equipment, and carefully crafted worship formats: Have we become so professional, so well-programmed that we leave no room for “the least of these,” as Jesus described the hungry, the thirsty, the poor and needy, the sick and those in prison (Matthew 25:34-46)?

Are you thinking this doesn’t apply to you or your situation? Well, how do you respond when God sees fit to disturb your plans? Or how would people in your congregation react if, midway through a worship service, a group of homeless people walked in, a heavily tattooed addict stumbled toward the altar, or a prostitute sat down next to you? As I write this, I find myself convicted. Is there room for the crippled and blind to get in? 

Nestled in the Hollow of His Hand

“My life is in your hands!” “My fate is in your hands!” I remember seeing reruns of some old-timey movies in which one of these hackneyed phrases was repeated. Often it was the plea of some poor, helpless “damsel in distress.” Whether that was good or bad depended upon whether the person she addressed was the conquering hero, or the dastardly villain. 

Those cliché-riddled films were fantasy, and silly at that, but how would you like to look at someone and be thinking the same thing: “My life is in your hands”?

And yet, in many respects, this is very much like how the Scriptures describe our relationship with God. In particular, many passages in Psalms talk about the hands of God, and how He uses them to provide for us, protect us and guide us. Psalm 95:7, for example, says, “For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.”

Another, Psalm 20:6, declares, “Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with saving power in his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God” (Psalm 20:6-7).

One of the great verses in the Bible that offers assurance to followers of Jesus Christ is John 10:29, in which He says, “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of My Father’s hand.”

But then there are those who don’t care to have the Lord involved in their lives. Like the feisty rebel in an old film, they resist: “Unhand me, kind sir!” But a risk comes with that: “Since they show no regard for the works of the Lord and what his hands have done, he will tear them down and never build them again” (Psalm 28:5).

So, what’s it like, this being held in God’s hands? Recently I came across a statement by the late Jean Vanier, a Canadian philosopher, theologian and humanitarian, that captured it better than I could. While stretching out his arm and cupping his hand as if holding a little, wounded bird, Vanier asked:

“What will happen if I open my hand fully? We say, ‘The bird will try to flutter its wings, and it will fall and die.’ But what if I close my hand? We say, ‘The bird will be crushed and die.’” Then he smiled and said, “An intimate place is like my cupped hand, neither totally open nor totally closed. It is the space where growth takes place.”

This is how our loving Heavenly Father holds us; not so loosely that we might fall and suffer greater harm, nor so tightly as to crush us to death. Whether we’re facing a dire crisis, as I did several weeks ago in undergoing unexpected, emergency brain surgery, or just struggling somewhere along our spiritual journey, we remain in His caring, protective, providential hands.

And when our last breath in this life is about to be taken, His hands will be there to welcome into our eternal home. I’m not a tattoo person, but some weeks ago Sam, son of a delightful man I had the privilege of mentoring for a number of years, got a tattoo uniquely designed as a tribute to his dad after his passing: It’s an image of someone walking through the gates of Heaven about to be received by the hands of God. Probably for the first time in my life I thought, “Now that is one beautiful tattoo!”

So as we step into another calendar year, not knowing what the future may hold, we can do so with confidence, knowing we’re being held in the all-powerful, yet loving hands of the Lord.

Resolving Not to Make Any More Resolutions

We’ve nearly reached the end of the year, and across the country millions of people either have or will be making resolutions for the New Year. These will range from losing weight to getting their anger under control to whittling down debt to spending less time on their smartphones. The problem is, resolutions rarely work.

Say, for instance, you resolve to lose 15 pounds. After the first of the year you start working out, cut back on eating “the good stuff,” and actually make a lot of progress, shedding maybe 10 pounds. Then you have a close encounter with the Cheesecake Factory or a similar establishment, and almost overnight find you’ve gained back five of those lost pounds. The biggest problem with losing weight, after all, is that it’s so easily found. In frustration, you mutter, “Well, forget that!”

Or you resolve to become an advocate for world peace, but then have a loud argument with your spouse. Rather than a peacemaker, you show yourself to be a peace-breaker. “Stick it in your ear, world peace!”

My solution to such resolution failures is simple: Don’t make resolutions. Instead, I set goals. For example, years ago a friend gave me a one-year chronological Bible, and last year I set a goal to finally get around to reading it through. I started the year off well, keeping pace with the daily readings, but then fell behind a week or so for some reason. If it had been merely a resolution, I might have said, “I quit!” 

But since it was a goal for the entire year, I pressed on, reading an extra section or two from time to time, and got caught up. At some points I even got a few days ahead in my readings. There were a couple of other setbacks along the way, but now I’m just a few days short of reaching my goal. Next I’ll have to decide how to structure my Bible reading and study in the New Year.

Years ago, I learned three things about goals: They should be 1) realistic, 2) measurable, and 3) attainable. For instance, even in my younger years I was too big to be a jockey, so aiming to ride the winner of the Kentucky Derby would have made no sense. But I can set a goal of doing vigorous cardio workouts at least three times a week. Realistic. Measurable. Attainable.

Let’s shift our goal focus to the spiritual realm. The Scriptures speak a surprising amount about goals. For instance, the apostle Paul said, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:14). His life’s focus was on Jesus Christ, and his consuming goal was to remain faithful to His call.

Paul, who had a penchant for using athletic metaphors to teach spiritual truth, told believers in the ancient church in Corinth, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize” (1 Corinthians 9:24). Okay, his goal was to win the race – essentially to be the last man standing at the end. But how did Paul intend to accomplish that? Discipline.

He proceeded to write, “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever…. I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize” (1 Corinthians 9:25-27). Like a well-trained athlete, the apostle determined not to let physical desires and lusts sidetrack him from fulfilling his goal of pleasing and honoring his Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ.

How we pursue a similar goal is up to the individual. It’s like the question, “When is it best to have a quiet time?” – setting apart a portion of the day for Bible study, prayer and meditation. The answer is, “whenever works for you on a consistent, daily basis.” The point is, personal time alone with God is a worthwhile goal; how and when to do it is up to our discretion.

One worthy goal mentioned in the Scriptures is one that seems woefully out of step with our noisy, turbulent times and culture. Paul exhorted Christ followers in the Greek city of Thessalonica, “Make it your ambition [goal] to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody” (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12).

There’s a lot we could unpack from this passage, but basically the goal is to live in a respectful, God-honoring manner that proves attractive to those outside the faith. After all, God did command us to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28), not only physically but also spiritually.

So, while the making of resolutions seems a popular pastime at this point in the year, I’d suggest that setting reasonable goals are a far better approach. That way you can pursue them year-long, and if you mess up or unwittingly take a detour, you can stop, dust yourself off and reset your course, keeping the ultimate goal in sight: to please and bring glory to the Lord Jesus Christ, who achieved His own goals to teach, die on the cross, and rise from the dead so that He might offer a new life to us through His Spirit.

Start formulating your realistic, measurable and attainable goals so that by the end of next year you can be like the soccer announcers who scream, “Goooooooooal!”

A Time for Giving and Forgiving?

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring – except for those who continued to grouse.

Gifts have been unwrapped, given and received, and for some it’s permission to shed their festive holiday facades and resume their miserable pre-holiday moods. Their inner bah-humbug can finally re-emerge into the open. As if there had been no times for glad tidings and good cheer at all. But does it have to be this way?

Leading up to Christmas we had Black Friday, then Cyber Monday, followed by Giving Tuesday. But why does the giving have to stop with Dec. 25? Perhaps there’s a need to continue giving, long after the ooh’s and aah’s of Christmas have silenced, unwanted gifts returned, and retailers resume scheming about what the hot products will be for next Christmas.

There’s a practical, fiscal reason to start with. Non-profit organizations are preparing to close their annual budgets, hoping to settle into the black as a new year begins. So, having enjoyed the blessings of material giving as both givers and recipients on Christmas morning, it might be good to designate the day after as a time for giving to noble causes we believe in, as well as rack up some last-minute tax deductions.

My wife and I make charitable donations throughout the year to entities whose services we value. These include our local church, a variety of ministries, and several agencies devoted to assisting the poor and needy. But I find it fun to give a little extra just as another calendar is ushered out. 

When Jesus said, “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35), He wasn’t uttering an idealistic platitude. Being able to share from our resources to enhance others’ lives benefits not only them, but ours as well. This practice helps to shift our attention from ourselves and our wants, responding to the legitimate needs of others.

Can you imagine how God felt when He looked upon a broken, sin-riddled, hopelessly wayward humanity and sent His own Son to serve as the atonement for their grievous sins? I don’t think there’s any way we can fully comprehend what this meant for Him, but we do know, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall have eternal life” (John 3:16). Among the many wonderful things our Lord is, He’s a giver. And perhaps we never look more like Him than when we ourselves are giving, freely, unselfishly, even sacrificially.

But there’s another kind of “giving” that many of us would be wise to pursue and apply that could be revolutionary. How about engaging in some healthy, life-changing for-giving? Almost every day we hear about someone who suffered harm of some sort, whether it was inflicted physically, psychologically or emotionally. The damage might have resulted from neglect rather than overt action. Regardless of how it came about, in its wake we find resentment, bitterness, anger, even hatred.

Sometimes wrongs committed seem beyond forgiveness; other times unresolved conflicts fester, escalating far beyond the level of the original damage. Either way, lack of forgiveness has a way of destroying the unforgiver, as well as the unforgiven.

Contrast this to the image of the young man in the news whose unarmed brother was unwittingly killed by a police officer who somehow confused his apartment with her own. Upon her conviction, the surviving brother, rather than spewing words of rage and hatred, actually stepped forward to embrace the clearly distraught woman in a grand and wonderful act of forgiveness. 

This did not bring his brother back to life. Nor did it erase the grief he felt in having lost a beloved sibling. But like chains taken off a prisoner, the young man’s willingness to forgive freed him of the burden of bitterness that was certain to remain if he didn’t.

On the cross, Jesus in the throes of deadly pain, said an incredible thing: “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Those who had wrongly convicted Him of crimes He had not committed knew they were ridding themselves of a “problem,” but hardly realized the magnitude of their murderous scheming: That they were seeking to kill God incarnate, who had come to redeem fallen and unreconcilable humanity.

In 1 John 2:12, the apostle declares, “I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his (Jesus’) name.” In His so-called Lord’s Prayer, Jesus provided an example when He prayed, “and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matthew 6:12). When God has forgiven us for so much, who are we not to forgive others – no matter what they have done?

So if, as echoes of Christmas frivolity begin to fade, you find yourself wallowing in unforgiveness, give yourself one more gift: the gift of forgiveness. Not only for the one who has offended or harmed you, but also for yourself. This world is so filled with pain – why inflict yourself with more of it? After all, we might rightly say that Christmas is for giving and forgiving.