The ‘Gift’ Nobody Would Ever Ask to Receive

Years ago, I reached a conclusion: “Pain wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t hurt so much.” Many people have experienced more pain than me, but I’ve had my share. Recovering from open-heart surgery was the worst, but even severe sore throats and smashed toes are no walk in the park. I’ve encountered enough pain to know it’s not something anyone seeks.

 

However, strange as it may seem, pain might actually be a gift, even though it’s doubtful anyone would put it on their wish list. How can we consider pain a “gift”? For starters, our bodies use pain as a signal that something is wrong. 

Chest pressure – which cardiologists regard as pain – was my first symptom that something was awry with my heart and its supporting arteries. My post-surgery pain served as a consistent reminder not to overdo as I worked through the long recovery process.

 

But it doesn’t take something as serious as heart problems or cancer for pain to take on the unlikely guise of a gift. Imagine stubbing your toe. Immediately pain sensors send signals to your brain alerting you that you’ve made undesirable contact with your living room coffee table. What if you didn’t feel your toe banging the coffee table and you stubbed it again…and again? Your initial bruise might turn into damage of much greater magnitude. 

 

This is a problem some people suffering from diabetes, leprosy, neuropathy, and other maladies face on a daily basis. If nerves become desensitized and can’t give painful notice of injury, the situation can become exacerbated to the point of requiring a trip to the emergency room.

 

Author Philip Yancey has spent much of his writing career exploring the subject of pain and its ramifications. Fearfully and Wonderfully Made and The Gift Nobody Wants are just two of the books he’s written the deal with the topic. Much of his insight came from working with Dr. Paul Brand, who dedicated many years of his medical career to ministering to leprosy patients. 

 

In another of his books, Where Is God When It Hurts?, Yancey writes, “Pain is not God’s great goof. The sensation of pain is a gift – the gift nobody wants. More than anything, pain should be viewed as a communication network. A remarkable network of pain sensors stands guard duty with the singular purpose of keeping me from injury.”

 

Yancey certainly isn’t an advocate for pain, acknowledging it can cause misery whether short-term or long-term, especially for sufferers of diseases like crippling arthritis or terminal cancer. But he notes, “for the majority of us, the pain network performs daily protective service.” Then he quotes the late Dr. Brand who said, “Ninety-nine percent of all the pains the people suffer are short-term pains: correctable situations that call for medication, rest, or a change of a person’s lifestyle.”

 

Where does pain fit within God’s plan for his people? We can look at this from several angles. Jesus Christ was no stranger to pain. He suffered the emotional pain of being misunderstood as well as rejection. He suffered through hunger, thirst and temptation, as Hebrews 2:18 states: “Because He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted.”

 

The Lord endured the agony most of us have experienced, the pain of loss. Upon arriving at Bethany after His friend Lazarus had died and had already been in a tomb for four days, John 11:35 tells, “Jesus wept.”

 

Each of the four gospels recount the unimaginable pain and suffering Jesus went through, being tortured during a mock trial before being crucified and becoming the atoning sacrifice for our sins. This fulfilled a prophecy presented in Isaiah 53:7, “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth; He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so He did not open His mouth.”

 

But what about us as Christ’s followers? Can’t God spare us from pain, much as a parent would desire to do for a beloved child? We’re told pain is part of what we might call a believer’s ‘job description.’ As the apostle Paul wrote, “I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection of the dead” (Philippians 3:10-11).

 

Sometimes God allows His people to experience pain as part of His process for transforming them into the individuals He desires for them to be; to shape our character. One of these traits is humility, which Paul referenced when he wrote: 

“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these great revelations, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ …That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am we, then I am strong [in Christ]” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

 

No, pain is not something we seek. No reasonably minded person asks for it. But in our walk of faith, the Scriptures assure us that when God allows pain in our lives, He has a reason for it. It’s still true “that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). 

Perhaps in our painful times, short-term or long-term, our question should not be “Why?” but rather, “What?” What is the Lord seeking to teach us, to do in our lives – or through our lives? 

Do Bad Things Happen So We Can Do Good to Others?

One of the most common, yet confounding questions asked whenever discussions of religion or spirituality arise is, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Countless articles and books have been written on the topic, with varying degrees of success in providing a reasonable answer. 

 

There’s no denying many people live good lives – at least outwardly – and yet often encounter serious difficulties and tragedies. For those of us inclined to believe in cause-and-effect – that good things should result in more good things, as well as bad things leading to bad consequences – we find ourselves wondering, “What’s the deal?”

 

There’s no easy explanation for bad things happening to people who live upright lives – although that hasn’t discouraged theologians and philosophers from trying. But the Scriptures offer some insight into possible reasons. One of them – even if it may provide little consolation while we’re going through struggles – is that personal suffering equips us to empathize with and console others when they go through circumstances similar to ones we’ve already experienced.

 

In 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, we read these words from the apostle Paul:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.”

 

That, without question, is a mouthful. It’s tempting to try and dissect this passage into itty-bitty pieces, but the gist of it is that as we go through seasons of suffering, and receive comfort from God, we in turn can share what we have learned through the process to offer comfort to others. In fact, the apostle uses the word “comfort” nine times in just four sentences.

 

Consider Paul, the one-time persecutor of Christians who, after his life-transforming encounter with Jesus Christ, had endured adversity in many forms, including persecution, imprisonments, beatings and stoning, shipwrecks, illness and other hardships. If anyone knew about suffering, and the need for comfort while going through it, Paul was the guy. He was intimately acquainted with the subject; a card-carrying authority on it.

 

But how does suffering prepare us to serve as comforters for others? I’ve written about this before, but after undergoing open-heart surgery, I knew about it from personal experience, not from reading about it. So when I encounter others who have either recently gone through the procedure, as I did while serving as a cardiac volunteer at a local hospital, or hear of someone who has just received the unsettling news from a cardiothoracic surgeon, I can relate to what they’re going through. Sharing about my own “journey of the heart,” I’ve tried to offer hope, reassurance – and comfort. Along with what I found to be a good game plan for recovery.

 

Most of all, it’s understanding that we don’t have to go through life’s challenges alone. Whether it’s a health crisis, financial difficulties, the loss of a loved one, overwhelming family challenges, addiction, or some other issue, there are other people who have gone through similar circumstances.

 

Even more important, our faith in God can sustain us during even the greatest adversities. And we, as followers of Jesus, can remind each other of that. During high-stress times, it can be easy to lose focus and forget, so it’s our job to encourage one another to remember. We can point to promises like Isaiah 40:31, “But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

 

And then, drawing from our own experience, we’re able indeed to, as Paul wrote, “comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

Comforting Others With the Comfort We’ve Received

One of the recurring questions we hear when we consider life’s realities concerns pain and suffering. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is there so much suffering in the world? Countless books have been written on the subject, suggesting many possible answers. But the problem remains.

I certainly don’t have any definitive answers or solutions, but I think we find one of the reasons at the opening of one of the apostle Paul’s New Testament letters. He wrote: 

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).

The passage goes on to explain how we can both share in one another’s sufferings and in the comfort we experience as we go through them. We dare not underestimate the importance and power of being able to comfort others with the comfort we have received while going through similar trials. 

A year after undergoing open-heart surgery in 2006, when I returned to the hospital to celebrate my “anniversary,” someone asked if I would consider becoming a “cardiac volunteer.” I would visit with patients who recently had also undergone open-heart surgery. I agreed to do so, and for about five years I dedicated one evening a week talking with folks who had gone through procedures similar to mine. 

I couldn’t take away their pain, but was able to share from my own experience, my recuperation process, and by my own example, offer encouragement that better days were ahead for them. Many of them – and family members who were there for my visits – expressed how reassuring it was to hear my perspectives and suggestions for their recovery.

Recently I heard about an even more vivid example of what it means to “comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” I have a friend, a veteran of the Vietnam war, who heads an organization dedicated to serving military veterans suffering from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), as well as physical wounds from combat, especially those returning from Afghanistan, Iraq, and other battle fronts in the Middle East.

Having suffered severe wounds himself, along with the psychological trauma of combat, my friend can identify with the many struggles and challenges returning veterans are confronting. His organization provides a place where these men and women can gather for rest, recreation, nice accommodations and good meals – along with opportunities to interact with people who can offer the hope and comfort that come from a genuine, growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

My friend told about one veteran who had lost an arm and both legs from an IED (Improvised Explosive Device) explosion in the Middle East. Most of us can’t begin to imagine what that must be like. But during a weekend retreat, which includes a variety of competitions and even hunting, the recovering veteran was able to shoot his first pheasant. The joy he showed was palpable.

Many veterans, even those who have not suffered physical wounds, return home in despair, struggling to reacclimate themselves to civilian life. The suicide rate among this group of heroic people is staggering. So the power of receiving comfort from those who themselves have been comforted is immeasurable.

We might not be able to relate to this particular form of pain, but we all have endured suffering in one way or another. Sometimes the problems were eventually resolved; but often the aftermath continues. Either way, we have the capacity – and privilege – of being able to draw from the comfort God has provided to us and extending it to others. 

Even if the problem can’t be “fixed,” as is usually the case, we can’t put a price on the value of having someone willing to say and demonstrate, “I care” or “I understand.” 

Four P’s of Physical – and Spiritual - Recovery

In 2007, marking the one-year anniversary of my open-heart surgery, I returned to the hospital where the procedure was performed. Thankful I had come through the surgery successfully, I wanted to visit the Surgical ICU where I had begun my recovery.

During that impromptu visit, a hospital staff person invited me to become a “cardiac volunteer,” visiting patients who had just undergone surgeries similar to mine. I didn’t have to ponder this opportunity for long. I remembered the questions I had lying in a hospital bed, feeling post-surgical pain and soreness, and wondering if this was how it was supposed to be. Medical staff, I discovered, are reluctant to be definitive about how you’ll feel, how quickly you’ll recover, etc.

I also thought of the passage in the Scriptures that talks of “…the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). God had indeed comforted me before and after my surgery, and it seemed only right to make myself available to encourage others, sharing my own story and giving them hope that their current pain would only be temporary.

Over the next five years or so, I visited hundreds of fellow open-heart survivors typically feeling, as I had, like a pickup truck had hit them in the chest – then backed up and hit them again. I don’t recommend the experience if you can avoid it. Nevertheless, I could serve as evidence that better days lie ahead.

During these visits I often shared what I called “the 4 P’s of Recovery”: Patience, Perseverance, Positive attitude, and Prayer. Something simple to leave with them as they began their slow and sometimes painful journey toward renewed health and full strength.

Patience is because after any major surgery, healing takes time; it’s a while before you even begin approaching 100 percent again. No sense becoming impatient when you don’t bounce back as quickly as you’d like. Perseverance because during the process, there are things you must do, such as: Taking medications regularly as prescribed. Following the physicians’ counsel regarding physical activity. Engaging in rehabilitation – exercises and therapy – and in most cases, this will continue for weeks, even months.

There’s the need for a Positive attitude – studies have shown that maintaining a positive, optimistic attitude is a key, intangible ingredient for experiencing full recovery. Reminding ourselves that even in the midst of pain and weakness, better days lie ahead. And finally, Prayer – prayer for yourself, as well as having family, friends and other caring folks praying for you. When I’ve had my surgeries, God impressed upon hundreds of people to keep me in their prayers. You can’t quantify this, but there’s no doubting the value of prayers lifted up to God – and His eagerness to answer them.

It occurred to me that at one time or another, many of us must go through another kind of recovery – spiritual – and these same 4 P’s of Recovery apply just as well to our spiritual well-being and progress.

Patience is listed among the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5:22-23. And the apostle Paul, after describing some of the adversity he had faced as an ardent follower of Jesus Christ, said he was able to endure, “in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love” (2 Corinthians 6:6). As with huge redwoods, spiritual giants are not grown overnight – it takes an entire lifetime.

Perseverance is critical, because anyone can start well. Tragically, comparatively few finish well. And one reason for this is they are unwilling to persevere, to hold fast to their resolve when the inevitable trials, testing and hardships come. This is why Paul wrote, “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4). The apostle James seconded the motion, admonishing us to “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you have trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must  finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

The impact of a Positive attitude cannot be overstated, for both physical and spiritual recovery and maintenance. Rather than focusing on the gathering darkness and chaos around us, we can be “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith” (Hebrews 12:2). To avoid lapsing into negativity and despair, we can heed Paul’s advice: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Philippians 4:8). “Accentuating the positive,” so to speak, enables us to avoid dwelling on the negative.

Finally, Prayer is simply talking to God – sharing from our hearts, but also taking the time to listen to Him, whether in reading His Word, hearing a strong, Bible-based message, or listening to wise counsel from a trusted friend who also is a believer.

The apostle Paul actually asked people to pray for him, can you believe it? “Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel…. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should” (Ephesians 6:19-20).

We are not asked, but commanded, to uphold one another in prayer: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). 

In the final hours before His kangaroo court trial and crucifixion, even Jesus wanted others to pray with Him. Confronting His sleepy disciples after going off to pray alone, Jesus said to Peter, “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?... Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:40-41).

There you have it – if you want to experience healing and growth, both physically and spiritually, be patient, persevere, remain positive, and pray. These are key ingredients in God’s recipe for an abundant, fruitful life.

Accepting the Gift Nobody Wants

What was the worst gift you ever received? A gaudy tie for Father’s Day? Or a nifty kitchen appliance when you really were hoping for a romantic gift, like flowers or jewelry? 

A well-intended aunt had a habit of giving some of the most undesirable gifts you could imagine. One Christmas when I was a teenager she gave me several pairs of stretchy red, yellow and white socks, not remotely on my wardrobe wish list.

We enjoy receiving gifts we want. But have you ever thought about pain being a “gift”? That’s the contention of author Philip Yancey and the late Dr. Paul Brand, who collaborated on several books exploring the problem of pain from a spiritual perspective. One of their books is titled, PAIN: The Gift Nobody Wants.

In another of Yancey’s books, Where Is God When It Hurts?, he introduces Dr. Brand, a physician who devoted his life to living and working with leprosy patients in different parts of the world. A great danger these individuals faced, Brand discovered, was suffering or worsening injuries due to an inability to feel pain.

Yancey writes, “Pain is not God’s great goof. The sensation of pain is a gift – the gift that nobody wants. More than anything, pain should be viewed as a communication network. A remarkable network of pain sensors stands guard duty with the singular purpose of keeping me from injury…. For the majority of us, the pain network performs daily protective service. It is effectively designed for surviving life on this sometimes hostile planet.”

He quotes Brand who, drawing from decades of professional experience, determined, “…as a physician I’m sure that less than one percent of pain is in this category we might call out of control. Ninety-nine percent of all pain that people suffer are short-term pains: correctable sensations that call for mediation, rest, or a change in a person’s lifestyle.”

This seems counterintuitive. We recoil at even the thought of pain, seeking to avoid it if possible. Over-the-counter pain medications fly off the shelves at pharmacies and retail stores. Stringent restrictions now govern opiates and other prescription pain medications, seeking to curb epidemic abuse. Many people attempt to avoid or overcome pain by other means, ranging from alcohol and recreational drugs to immersing themselves into various forms of distraction.

But could it be, as Yancey suggests, that “pain is not God’s great goof”? Twelve years ago, while power-walking, I felt unusual chest pressure and soreness in my left arm and wrist. I’d never experienced those sensations before, so when they recurred the next day, I had the good sense to consult my physician. 

A battery of tests determined I not only had several arterial blockages, but also an enlarged aorta which could have taken my life. I had not felt the severe chest pain often depicted on TV and in films, but that pressure was still deemed “pain” by the doctors who diagnosed my problems and performed surgery.

If we’re hammering a nail and hit our thumb instead, pain alerts us so we don’t keep whacking away and exacerbate the hurt. 

One of the problems diabetics often face is that over time, nerve endings become desensitized. As a result, they can suffer bruises or more serious injuries, even aggravate them, without being aware of it because they don’t feel pain to alert them of the damage.

A great example of pain is found in the Old Testament book of Job. In a devastating series of events, Job lost his worldly possessions, his children, and his health. The only thing he didn’t lose was his wife. When she told him to “curse God and die,” Job might have wondered why she was still around.

Job presents a classic discourse on the problem of pain, the subject of countless books, sermons and articles. One important thing to remember is that even in the depths of Job’s misery, the Lord was never absent. As the account of God’s sovereignty and grace concludes, we even see Job’s fortunes reversed.

The apostle Paul suffered from some persistent malady, although we’re not told what it was. He wrote, “I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 2:7-10).

Sometimes, as Paul said, it’s only through weakness – through pain – that we can experience God’s grace most profoundly.

Hard as it may seem, the next time we feel a twinge, an ache, or even a stabbing pain, before rushing for an immediate remedy, maybe we should first thank God for His “gift.” We can also cling to the promise from the Bible’s last book: “He will wipe away ever tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away”  (Revelation 21:4).