Salvaging Our World of Words

Another old year shoved to the basement, we begin our 365-day ascent toward the apex of whatever the new year holds. Along this trek, we’ll be carrying baggage from the past, along with supplies to sustain us for the future. Much of those “supplies” will consist of words we’ll employ, sometimes for good – and sometimes not.

The year just concluded had more than its share of words, written and spoken. An inordinate measure of them seemed connected to the name “Trump,” many times not in good ways. Having no interest in using my first post of the year to dabble in that topic, it seems more appropriate to contemplate how we’ll utilize words in the coming days.

Not everyone is a “writer,” although nearly all of us write, even if it’s just via texts, email or social media. So, we’ve all the opportunity to use words as tools – or weapons. It’s a choice we all must make.

We not only choose which words to use – and how – but also have the option of not using words at all. That’s where I’d like to focus. It was humorist and social commentator Will Rogers who said, “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” He departed from this life in 1935, more than 80 years ago, but the wisdom of this witticism seems as apropos as ever.

It was not Rogers, however, who originated the novel idea that just because you think it, you’re not obligated to share it for all who will hear it. President Abraham Lincoln is reported to have said, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.” Certainly many other wise observers have expressed similar cautions through the centuries, since the tendency to give someone a piece of one’s mind they can’t afford to lose seems universal.

This is underscored in the Scriptures, which offer dozens of admonitions about the virtues – and evils – of what we say and write. The closest to the statements above is Proverbs 17:28, which declares, "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”

There are others worth noting. Here’s a sampling:

• “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity” (Proverbs 21:23).
• “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered” (Proverbs 17:27).
• “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).
• “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4).
• “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

Then there’s my personal favorite, one I need to remind myself of often. I still have memory lapses, too many, but it’s steered me from trouble many a time: “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).

Even for those of us who regard ourselves as introverts, communication is an integral, inevitable part of daily living. Using admonitions like those above – embracing them even – can help in our desire to be part of the solution, rather than the problem in our world that’s increasingly infected by hate speech, intolerant tolerance and irrational inventive.

Whether we make New Year’s resolutions, set annual goals, or simply intend to “do better” in the coming year, we’d be well-advised to weigh what not to say, as well as what we should say.

What I Learned Since I Knew It All

Are you old enough to remember the Encyclopedia Brittanica? How about the World Book Encyclopedia, or Encyclopedia Americana? Funk & Wagnalls, anyone? Once they were the repositories of knowledge, collections of information that, if nothing else, looked impressive and scholarly.

This classic Brockhaus Encyclopedia, photo courtesy
of Wikipedia, was an early storehouse of knowledge.

Today the only people owning these factual stockpiles call them collector’s items. No one knocks on your door anymore trying to sell you a set of encyclopedia. The reasons are simple: We have Google and other search engines that provide everything we need to know ligerally at our fingertips. And the information’s current. To keep encyclopedias up to date, they produced annual volumes to review what had transpired and was learned over the past 12 months. And even those were outdated before they got off the presses.

Of course, long before encyclopedias were even invented, there was another all-knowing resource. It was – and still is – called the “teenager.” If you’ve raised teenagers, or remember what it was like to be one, you realize young people have a special gift. Or maybe a curse: They know it all – or think they do. I’ve been a know-it-all teen, and have been a parent to teens, so I’ve experienced this complex condition. Maybe it’s instinctive to becoming independent, but they go to sleep one night agreeable and compliant, and the next morning wake up thinking they’ve acquired the wisdom of the universe.

The know-it-all syndrome doesn’t necessarily end when the teen years do, however. I recall numerous times as an adult – and probably many more that I’ve forgotten – when I was quick to make people aware of how much I knew. In retrospect, I’ve discovered I haven’t always known as much as I thought I did.

A little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing. In fact, knowledge – even truth – used recklessly turns into a lethal weapon. Because my style for communicating face to face tends to be direct, even off the cuff, there have been many occasions when I came to regret not being more tactful.

Someone might say, “The truth hurts,” but it doesn’t have to; it’s always better when the truth (at least as we understand it) is conveyed in a context of sensitivity and compassion, whenever possible. That’s why I often ponder some of the principles the Bible teaches about our eagerness to “tell the truth.” For instance, Ephesians 4:15 admonishes, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

If that doesn’t seem clear enough, the ancient book of Proverbs offers this warning for those of us prone to be know-it-alls: “The wise don’t make a show of their knowledge, but fools broadcast their foolishness” (Proverbs 12:23).

The writer of Proverbs apparently was well-acquainted with the perils of verbose know-it-alls, because he offered more insights: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin” (Proverbs 13:3).

And there’s my all-time favorite, sound advice for reining in someone like me who’s always ready to tell others what I know – even when they haven’t asked my opinion: “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19)

So if you, or someone you know, has a teenager stealthily hiding within, itching to demonstrate how he or she is like a walking, talking encyclopedia, these passages might be good ones to use as reference.

Just Too Tough to Tame

We’ve all heard the phrase, “too tough to tame.” It’s been used as a title for numerous books, including romance novels! It’s a description sometimes used of dominating, relentless athletes. Sometimes it’s applied to executives, shrewd businesspeople or wily politicians. NASCAR refers to the demanding Darlington Raceway in South Carolina as “the track too tough to tame.”

But of all things, do you know what’s the toughest to tame? The tongue.

In the New Testament book of James, there’s a whole section subtitled in some Bibles, “Taming the Tongue.” It states, “the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3:3-6). Talk about not mincing words!

The tongue can cause a little spark
that results in a great fire.

The passage notes many kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures can be tamed, “but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be” (James 3:7-10).

Isn’t this true? Have you ever been victimized by someone else’s tongue? Have others suffered wounds because of yours?

We see evidence of the untamed, untamable tongue every day: TV and radio talk shows, where biased and bombastic tongues wag out of control. In the news, when the “offending” and the “offended” seem equally outspoken, interested only in self-expression and not with the lost art of listening to others. If there were some proven way to tame the tongue, most political campaigns would have to be disbanded.

Some of us have friends that delight in sharing the latest and juiciest gossip, even if disguised in the form of “prayer requests”: “Please pray for so-and-so, whose wife just ran off with such-and-such.” Runaway tongues meet nimble fingers on social media, where negativity and criticism run without restraint. If you can’t say (or comment) something bad about someone then don’t say anything at all, has become today’s prevailing philosophy.

I’ve been guilty of this myself. Caught up in the fervor of reading social media posts of those that are for or against something, whether it’s a political candidate, cause, or controversy, there’s nothing easier than adding a snide comment either in agreement or opposition. Email is another way of linking tongues with fingertips, expressing feelings in haste, only to realize too late we’ve already leaped when we should have looked.

The Bible was written long before the advent of social media, the Internet and email, but it was already warning against the reckless use of speech, whether pouring directly from the mouth, or in the form of words appearing on a page, smartphone, or computer monitor.

Ephesians 4:29 offers perhaps the soundest advice of all concerning what we say to others:

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Admittedly, this is an exhortation I need to meditate on – and apply – on a much more consistent basis. As I’ve mentioned before, remembering Proverbs 10:19 has kept me from causing needless harm many times: “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” But there are still times when I slip, when I blurt out words that fit the “unwholesome talk” description. At such times, “Oops!” isn’t a good enough excuse.

So what’s the remedy for a wild, unruly tongue? It can never truly be tamed, but keeping some “words to the wise” in mind can help us avoid a lot of trouble. For instance:

• “Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk from your lips” (Proverbs 4:24).
• “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue” (Proverbs 11:12).
• “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).
• “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).

So in these days when verbal assaults seem dramatically and tragically on the rise, perhaps we can do our part to speak – and write – in ways that prove to be sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Are we seeking to build up and benefit rather than tear down and destroy? Rather than being part of the problem, with judicious words we can become part of the solution.