Breaking Up and Reconciling – Both Are Hard to Do

Way back when there was a lilting tune by pop singer Neil Sedaka called “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do.” I remember silly words it contained: “dum-do-bee-do-dahm-dahm. Comma-comma-dum….” But as the title suggests, the song was about breaking up. Like many in the early ‘60s, it expressed the teenaged angst of love won and lost.

 

Yes, breaking up indeed is hard to do. All of us who have experienced it at least once – and who hasn’t? – know that no matter how many breakups you’ve gone through, it doesn’t get easier. When cherished relationships become broken, it hurts.

The flip side of this also is true: Reconciling can be very hard to do as well. Whether in a marriage, family, close friendships or long-standing business relationships, when those ties become damaged, it can be extremely hard to achieve true reconciliation. It requires humility and forgiveness – which can be difficult to muster when one or both parties have been deeply hurt or betrayed.

 

This is one reason the Gospel of Jesus Christ is so poignant and compelling. After defining a true follower of Jesus – “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17) – the apostle Paul explains this is the perfect example of what reconciliation means:

“All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them…” (2 Corinthians 5:18-19).

 

When we think about a broken relationship we’ve had and how difficult it was (or would be) to become reconciled, imagine the magnitude of what these words express – God earnestly wanting to reconcile us to Himself, despite our rebellion, refusal to obey the commands He gave us for our good, and defiance in worshipping just about anyone or anything but Him. In a word, our sin.

 

Philippians 2:7-8 tells us that God “…made Himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and become obedient to death – even death on a cross.” These words sum up most profoundly what true humility, sacrifice and forgiveness look like.

 

It’s impossible to capture this in strictly human terms. Imagine one of us taking on the form of a caterpillar, or even a beetle. That certainly would be humbling, but even that image in no way conveys what it was like for the God of the entire universe to take on human form in the person of Jesus Christ. And yet, that’s the extent to which He desperately desired to become reconciled with wayward, willfully disobedient people. 

 

And going to the cross, dying in our place to atone for our sins as our Redeemer, was the only way He could accomplish that. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Perhaps we should keep this in mind when we struggle to become reconciled with another person who has hurt us deeply.

 

There’s one other thing I find in this passage that strikes me as amazing: God not only has provided the means for becoming reconciled with Him but also asks us as His children to become agents for this reconciliation. It states, “And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God” (2 Corinthians 5:19-20).

 

There’s so much that could be written about this, but through the centuries this is exactly the apostles, patriarchs of Christianity like Martin Luther, John and Charles Wesley, Charles H. Spurgeon, Billy Sunday, D.L. Moody, C.S. Lewis, Billy Graham, and even Charlie Kirk have been doing: Imploring men, women and children to be reconciled to God.

Best of all, since we also as children of God are given the title of “Christ’s ambassadors,” this is our privilege too. Who do you know that needs to be reconciled to the Lord, to learn that He loved them so much that He sent His one and only Son to die for them, as we’re told in John 3:16? After all He has done for us, isn’t that the least we can do for Him? 

A Faithful Life – and a Legacy That Will Endure

American Christianity said farewell to an iconic Bible teacher and theologian last week. John MacArthur, who pastored his church in California for more than 50 years, passed from this life at the age of 86 and went on to his eternal reward. Over that span he preached more than 3,000 sermons and authored hundreds of books.

 

Sometimes controversial but always steadfast in his trust in the inerrancy and timeless relevance of the Bible, MacArthur was known for his verse-by-verse exposition of the Scriptures and bold stance on foundational biblical principles and doctrines. While some might have differed with some of his interpretations, MacArthur left a solid legacy of unwavering confidence in the Word of God, touching countless lives through his preaching, radio programs, and writings.

 

In 2 Timothy 4:3 the apostle Paul warned, “For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.” We’re living in such a time, but MacArthur wasn’t among those teachers. He was a champion of biblical truth, letting Scripture interpret Scripture rather than shaping the message from the pulpit to fit the prevailing culture.

 

I met MacArthur once at a CBMC conference where he was the week-long Bible teacher. One of his messages pointed me to a life-changing understanding of my relationship with Jesus Christ. He was speaking about how to study the Scriptures effectively, suggesting one way for grasping what a book of the Bible says is to read it repeatedly. He suggested 1 John in the New Testament as a good start, since it consists of only five chapters and can easily be read daily over the course of a month.

 

That’s what I did. Every day for 30 days I read through 1 John, a simple book that offers a clear, concise synopsis of the Gospel. Its teachings gradually became more and more familiar, but I kept stumbling over two seemingly contradictory verses.

 

The verses were 1 John 2:7-8, “Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in [Christ] and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.” 

 

It troubled me that the apostle John was saying in one verse this was an old command “which you have had since the beginning,” but in the very next verse was declaring it’s “a new command.” If one of these verses had appeared at the start of the book and the other at the end, I might have concluded John was addressing different things. But as a writer, I questioned how this close follower of Christ could be saying two apparently opposite things in consecutive verses. I thought, ‘Come on, John, is it old or is it new?!’ 

 

I was in a small group Bible study at the time, and we’d been memorizing specific Bible verses. One was Galatians 2:20, which says, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” The other was 2 Corinthians 5:17, which declares, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

 

These verses also bothered me. While believing they were true, I wasn’t experiencing them in my life. I was still being defeated by some of the same temptations and sins I’d always wrestled with. Jesus didn’t seem to be living in me. And I didn’t feel like a new creation. In my mind I was the same old sinful mess I’d always been.

 

Over time, however, pondering these passages and others, I came to a startling realization. I’d been trying to live the so-called ‘Christian life’ in my own strength, maybe asking God for a little boost from time to time. I was way off base. God wanted me to recognize that living the Christian life isn’t difficult – it’s impossible. That is, without the power of Christ at work in me through His Spirit. 

 

This is why Jesus told His disciples, “…apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). The apostle Paul had learned this lesson well, but also observed, “I can do everything through [Christ] who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

 

Getting back to the two verses in 1 John that had confounded me, they affirmed for me this truth. Admittedly, the context for those words concerns loving one another as believers. However, God used them to help me understand that all of His commands, starting with the Ten Commandments, have been given to mankind from the beginning. As we read the Old Testament, as well as the New Testament, we see even the most faithful have had a terrible time obeying God’s requirements.

 

So, the apostle John was stating the command to “love your neighbor as yourself,” originally found in Leviticus 19:18, is an “old command.” However, through the power of Christ living in us, it is now also a “new command.” That is, we might not be able to love our neighbor as we should – as well as many other things. But by allowing Jesus to work in and through us, we can do what we’re commanded to do.

After years of struggling, praying and then telling God, ‘I can’t!’ His response to me, in essence, was ‘I know, My child, but I can do it through you – if you’ll let Me.’ And I have John MacArthur to thank for putting me on the path to discovering this foundational truth. 

The Command That’s Both Old and New

Many of us are at least somewhat familiar with the Ten Commandments. There was a time when most people could recite them almost by rote, but in these “post-Christian” days, that’s no longer the case. In reading the Bible we discover other commandments, but when asked, Jesus boiled them all down to two: 

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40).

But did you know there’s a commandment that’s both old and new?

 

Years ago, the keynote speaker at a national Christian conference stated the best way to gain a good understanding of a book of the Bible is to read it repeatedly, “until its message becomes a part of you.” He suggested starting with the New Testament book of 1 John, since it’s short, consisting of five chapters. “If you read it through every day for a month, you’ll be amazed at the impact it has on you,” he said.

 

I decided to give it a try. Every day, I dutifully read all of 1 John’s five chapters and learned a lot. However, two verses didn’t seem to make sense. They were 1 John 2:7-8, “Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in Him [Jesus Christ] and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining.”

 

Why did this trouble me? Because as a writer, I’m conscious of how ideas connect and am quick to notice when a train of thought seems to jump the tracks. Verse 7 said, “I am not writing you a new command but an old one….” Yet the very next verse stated, “Yet I am writing you a new command….” Knowing the author of this book was the apostle John, after reading and re-reading this several times I wanted to ask, ‘Come on, John! Is it old or is it new?’ I couldn’t get past the seeming contradiction.

 

As it happened – not a coincidence, I’m certain – I had been trying to memorize two other verses that describe what the Bible says about followers of Christ. Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

 

The other verse was 2 Corinthians 5:17, which declares, “Therefore anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come!”

 

Being relatively new in my faith at the time, these verses perplexed me because they seemed to say that if I was “in Christ” and had been “born again,” then I was a new person. It said I’d been given a new life. Yet in many ways I seemed like the same messed-up guy I had always been, struggling with the same issues and temptations as before. How could I be a “new creation”? How could Christ be living in me if I continued doing the same old stuff?

 

This led to be a turning point in my spiritual journey, an “Aha” moment. One weekend I was assigned to cover and report on a Christian businessmen’s event in another city. As it happened – again, I know it wasn’t coincidence – I stayed in the home of a man who felt his mission in life was to help young believers understand who they really are in Christ, rather than who they think or feel that they are.

 

It would take too long to detail our discussions that weekend. Suffice it to say I discovered I had been trying to live the so-called “Christian life” in my own strength. When I failed, I thought I should just try harder. That isn’t what the Scriptures teach, however. 

 

At a particularly teachable moment, Jesus used the object lesson of a grapevine to admonish His disciples, “If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). He didn’t say “you can’t do a lot” or “you can’t do nearly as much.” He said, “apart from Me you can do nothing.”

 

At another time Jesus told His followers, “A new command I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35). There’s that phrase, “a new command” (or commandment). Since the Jews had already received the commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18), why was He calling it a “new command”?

 

This was my “Aha”: Living the Christian life as God intends isn’t difficult; it’s impossible – in our own strength. This is why Jesus said, “apart from Me you can do nothing.” Later the apostle Paul would echo that principle by writing, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

 

Attempting to live a new spiritual life with old fleshly habits and weaknesses is an exercise in futility. To be a “new creation in Christ” means having the life of Jesus in us through His Spirit. Appropriating the power of the Holy Spirit enables us to do what we can’t do ourselves, no matter how good our intentions are and how hard we try.

 

Summing it all up, John the apostle wasn’t contradicting himself when he wrote, “I am not writing you a new command but an old one,” and in the next verse stating, “Yet I am writing you a new command.” The old, unchanging command is for us to love others as Jesus would. Except our imperfect, sinful selves can’t. We might not even want to. But through the power of the “new command,” we can – appropriating the power and motivation of Christ’s Spirit at work in us. This understanding, at least for me, has been truly transformational!

The Perpetual Question: ‘Are We There Yet?’

Credit: Clipart-library.com

Every parent knows the drill. We’ve embarked on a trip of several hours or more, and about half an hour into the excursion we hear the words from the back seat, “Are we there yet?” And that won’t be the last time the question’s asked.

Children, with attention spans of minutes, seconds or even milliseconds, become understandably impatient having to sit in a car. If you don’t have a video player or tablet to keep them occupied, the problem intensifies. “Just sit and enjoy the scenery” is like sentencing them to a life of boredom.

 

When we've finally arrived at the destination, the echoes of “Are we there yet?” fade. At least for a while. But aren’t we all like this in our own way? That’s why even as adults, whether boarding an airplane, train, or even a bus, we want to know the ETA (Expected Time of Arrival). We might not spend the trip asking, “Are we there yet?” but we’ll check the time frequently along the way.

 

When we’re kids, we can’t wait to become teenagers, especially the magical year of 16. In high school, we can’t wait to graduate and go to college – or do whatever else we have in mind. We anticipate reaching age 21, when presumably we become full-fledged adults. At each juncture, we wonder, “Are we there yet?”

 

Then there are other milestones – starting a career, getting married, becoming parents, earning a big raise or promotion. Eager to “arrive,” we keep asking, “Are we there yet?” For many of us, success is an elusive goal. No matter what or how much we achieve, the answer to “Are we there yet?” is usually, “Nope. Not yet!”

 

Time and experience teach that just when you think you’ve reached your intended destination, you really haven’t. As leadership consultant Tim Kight wisely observes, “If you think you have arrived, you have a long way to go.” Arriving at a certain milestone in life typically signals we’ve only reached the next stage in life’s journey.

 

I’ve navigated the stages of infancy, toddlership (is that a word?), childhood, adolescence, teenage years, young adulthood, mature adulthood, and now what might be termed my “senior years.” Please don’t call me elderly – that’s a term for folks a lot older than me.

 

The interesting thing is, each time I felt that I had “arrived,” I soon realized – as Kight says – I still had a long way to go. In a 200-meter dash or a NASCAR competition, there’s a finish line; but in this race called life, as long as we have breath, there’s yet another stage to run.

 

This is especially true in terms of spiritual growth. Early in my life as a follower of Christ, I’d encounter a major biblical truth and think, “That’s it. Now I’m got this figured out.” Before long, however, I’d come up with new questions, or be introduced to another fundamental precept, that proved to me that in fact, I hadn’t “arrived” yet.

 

Now, decades past the time when I first realized I was “born again,” that I had become as 2 Corinthians 5:17 calls it, “a new creation” in Christ, I’ve come to the conclusion that my “ETA” is still somewhere in the distance.

 

Just as each stage of human growth has its challenges and “aha!” moments, spiritual growth also is a process that takes an entire lifetime. Because there’s so much about God and His plans and purposes to discover. No matter how old we are, or how long we’ve been walking with Jesus, we still don’t know what we don’t know.

 

Writing to believers in the city of Philippi during his Roman imprisonment, the apostle Paul acknowledged he himself had not “arrived,” that he was still “en route” on his spiritual pilgrimage. “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me” (Philippians 3:12).

 

In another letter, directed to the ancient church in Corinth, Paul wrote, “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

So, if sometimes you find yourself peering inwardly, trying to evaluate how you’re doing spiritually, relax. We’re not there yet. 

Grace: Definitely Not a Blue-Eyed Blonde

Some time ago, I was in a Christian bookstore – remember those? – and noticed a book entitled, Grace Is Not a Blue-Eyed Blonde. Curious about the title, I picked it up and scanned the back cover description. As promised, the book was not about someone named Grace, but about an indispensable element of biblical truth: God’s grace.

Many distinctives make Christianity unique among the world’s myriad other belief systems, but in terms of importance, grace ranks near the top.

 

As a friend of mine used to say, “All other religions are spelled ‘DO’ – do this, do that. Christianity is spelled ‘DONE’ – Jesus Christ has done everything necessary for us to experience God’s forgiveness and the assurance of eternal life.” At the heart of this is the biblical concept called grace, which literally means the Lord’s unmerited or undeserved favor – His unconditional acceptance. The Bible teaches we can’t earn God’s love, and if we’re His children, we can’t do anything to lose it.

 

This is hardly a new perspective. It was a driving force for the Christian Reformation, and over the years numerous books have been written to help us in fully understanding what the Bible teaches about grace. Philip Yancey’s What’s So Amazing About Grace? and Chuck Swindoll’s The Grace Awakening are just two that I’d recommend. 

 

We even have the classic hymn, “Amazing Grace,” that’s been sung not only in church sanctuaries and chapels, but also in theaters, auditoriums and arenas around the world. However, when I hear people singing it, I sometimes wonder if they’ve really let the lyrics sink in. Here are a few stanzas from a contemporary rendition of that soulful tune:

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

 

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

 

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

 

If anyone ever was a candidate to fully grasp the incredible, incomparable grace of God, it was the writer of “Amazing Grace,” John Newton. In his earlier life, Newton had served as a captain of slave ships, and even after retiring from life on the sea, continued to invest in the slave trade until 1754. 

 

However, after a dramatic spiritual encounter with Jesus Christ during a storm at sea, that all began to change. Time spent in Africa helped him to understand the plight of slaves in a very different light. Instead of being a participant in the reprehensible system, Newton became an advocate for abolishing slavery. Ultimately, he became an ally of William Wilberforce, leader of the British Parliamentary campaign to abolish the African slave trade, and lived to see the passage of anti-slavery legislation in 1807.

 

In 1788, in a pamphlet called, Thoughts Upon the Slave Trade, Newton described the horrific conditions he had witnessed on the slave ships. Repenting of the deeds of his past life, Newton offered "a confession, which...comes too late.... It will always be a subject of humiliating reflection to me, that I was once an active instrument in a business at which my heart now shudders." 

 

Can you imagine? How could someone live with the guilt of having been engaged in such evil, inhumane practices? As Newton attested in his now-famous hymn, it was possible only through God’s redeeming and transforming grace.

 

Centuries earlier, the apostle Paul had written about a similar, 180-degree change in his own life. Once a proud, enthusiastic adversary of the first-century Church, he turned into one of the most zealous ambassadors of Jesus Christ. He wrote:

“For I am the least of the apostles and do not deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them – yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me” (1 Corinthians 15:9-10).

 

Christianity turns the faith-works debate on its head. While so many belief systems concentrate on how a person can become “good enough” to earn God’s acceptance, the Scriptures teach there is nothing we can do to establish ourselves worthy of His love. Our works, therefore, should be an outflow of our relationship with the Lord. As Ephesians 2:8-10 clearly declares: 

“For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Because of this, we need not wallow in guilt and remorse over past sins. When we turn to God, seeking His forgiveness, He not only wipes our slates clean, but also begins the process of turning us into living testimonies of His grace. Like John Newton, we can experience the truth of 2 Corinthians 5:17, which states, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 

The Day That Changed Everything

Was the first Christmas really on Dec. 25? No one knows for certain. Some experts on biblical history (old authorities?) claim the Christ Child was actually born in the spring. Others think that even if the amazing Bethlehem event did occur in the winter, it might have been on a different date. No matter. What does matter is what happened after that.

For most of the world, the modern calendar traces back to the estimated birth of Christ, which is why we have B.C. (Before Christ) and A.D. (Anno Domini, or Year of our Lord). Every time we make a financial transaction using coins, currency or a check, they bear dates that hearken to Christ’s birth. The cliché, “no room at the inn,” is taken directly from the Christmas story.

 

Many other common references and terms we use today, such as the good Samaritan, the prodigal son, walking on water, turning water into wine, the Lord’s Prayer, faith the size of a mustard seed, the widow’s mite, salt of the earth, and the Cross, are drawn directly from Jesus’ life and teachings. 

 

In addition, He gave us familiar saying such as “judge not lest you be judged” (Matthew 7:1-2), “do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31), “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31), and “it is easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God” (Matthew 19:24).

 

In these and many other ways, our lives would be very different if it were not for that unique, divine day in an obscure Middle Eastern town. However, that’s not the greatest difference.

 

Over the years I have met countless men, women and young people whose lives have been changed for all eternity by Jesus Christ. I am among them, as are many members of our family. Because faith in Jesus is far more than a matter of personal opinion or individual ideology. It means experiencing a literal, life-changing event that alters the course of one’s life for both now and once we step onto the other side of eternity.

 

Speaking to the Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council called the Pharisees, Jesus made the astounding statement, “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again” (John 3:3). Being born again, I have learned, means much more than a changed attitude or a new way of thinking. As Jesus elaborated, “…no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit…. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again’” (John 3:5-7).

 

In 2 Corinthians 5:17, the apostle Paul stated this in a different way: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!... God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:17-21).

 

Then, in another of his letters, Paul looked back not to Jesus’ birth but to His crucifixion and resurrection, without which that first Christmas day would have been just another ordinary day: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

 

So as we celebrate Christmas, commemorating the birth of Jesus, “Immanuel – which means ‘God with us’” (Matthew 1:23), we mark the singular, watershed moment for mankind. Jesus declared, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). It’s available to every one of us – the greatest Christmas gift of all – just for the asking.