Adoption – An Important But Often-Ignored Option

January is “Sanctity of Human Life Month,” with the annual March for Life scheduled for Jan. 23 in Washington, D.C. The theme of this year’s march: “Life is a Gift.” The pro-life/pro-choice debate has been raging since the early 1970s. Even with Roe v. Wade being overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2022, this issue is far from settled. Abortions are still performed in many states.

With so many facets to the arguments, both pro and con, it’s impossible to compress them into simple summaries. Highly charged emotions on both sides rival and even exceed rational considerations. That doesn’t mean, however, there’s no value in presenting perspectives that might be helpful.

 

Like everyone, I’ve got my own point of view. But observing how the national and local media cover the ongoing controversy over abortion, I can’t help hearkening back to my journalistic studies in college many years ago. Back then, foundational principles for reporting the news were emphasized: Being objective, fair, and balanced in what and how news events are covered. These were ideals I aspired to during my decade as a newspaper editor.

 

Unfortunately, those virtues have largely been cast aside in favor of advocacy reporting, selectively choosing to use or not to use information based upon the agenda of the reporter or news organization. I regard it as “skewed news,” shaping information to advance a preferred, very subjective narrative.

 

Getting back to the abortion debate, among the numerous pro-abortion arguments we often hear is “my body, my choice.” A woman finds herself with an unwanted pregnancy. Regardless of the circumstances, she’s facing up to nine months of carrying an unborn child she doesn’t want. ‘Why not terminate it and get on with my life?’ For her, it seems like a decision that affects her alone. Except that’s not true. 

 

Much could be said in response to the “my body, my choice” stance, but let’s focus on one very viable but oft-ignored alternative to abortion: Adoption. Yes, the pregnant woman still must give birth, but adoption relieves her of the responsibility of motherhood if she doesn’t want that. And from the moment a child is adopted, it begins having an impact on other lives in ways we couldn’t even imagine.

 

In our immediate family we have three individuals who were adopted, whose birth mothers had the courage to allow their babies to enter the world and then offer them to good, loving homes.

 

One is a son-in-law, now in his 50s, who lives in another state. Today he’s married, has two daughters and two sons-in-law of his own, two of them being first responders, along with two energetic grandsons. Being the owner of two businesses, over the years he has employed hundreds of people. Through the businesses, he has served many clients, operating with high integrity and commitment to quality. And he and his wife are actively involved in their community in a variety of ways, touching many lives directly and indirectly.

 

His adoptive parents raised him with much love, and some years ago he was able to meet not only his birth mother but also her other children – his half-siblings. She was thrilled to discover what a fine person he had become. Can you see how that one decision to give birth rather than to abort, certainly not a simple one, has made a difference in the lives of hundreds of people? There’s a term for this – the “butterfly effect” – a singular action or decision having an incalculable impact.

 

We also have two adopted grandsons, both sources of great joy for our family. Our daughter and son-in-law – like countless couples across America – were unable to have children biologically. After exploring every possible avenue with no success, they chose to adopt. Again, this meant two other women had to make the selfless, courageous decision: Not to abort an unborn child but to give birth so a couple they didn’t know could adopt him. I can attest that lives beyond number have been influenced because our grandsons were given the gift of life.

 

This isn’t just a matter of human morality. It’s a decision of divine magnitude. Psalm 139:13-16 expresses this well:

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb,

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you…Your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were created in Your book

Before one of them came to be.”

 

Even in the womb, God knows and cares for us, already making special, unique plans for each of us. This is reason enough to advocate for the unborn. As it says in Proverbs 24:11-12, “Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter. If you say, ‘But we knew nothing about this,’ does not He who weighs the heart perceive it?”

 

Reading the gospels we see Jesus Christ’s special interest in children, reaching out to young ones that others saw as having little value or importance. He admonished, “See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of My Father in heaven" (Matthew 18:10).

 

There’s one other biblical perspective on adoption worth considering. Adopting a child provides a metaphor for how God brings people into His eternal family as His children. Ephesians 1:5-6 tells us, “He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will – to the praise of His glorious grace which He has freely given us in the One He loves.” 

 

Numerous other passages address this, but one of my favorites is Romans 8:15, which talks about our spiritual rebirth: “For you have not received a spirit of bondage again to fear, but you have received the Spirit of divine adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba, Father!’”

 

What a beautiful picture this is when a woman confronting an unwanted pregnancy chooses to give the unborn child the gift of life, then enables a loving couple to bring that child into their family, beginning a chain of events that will have an unimaginable, even eternal impact on many other people.

Adoption – the Oft-Overlooked Option

This time of the year is very special for our family. The hubbub of the holidays has subsided, and we pause to celebrate the birthdays of several of family members, including two adopted grandsons. It’s an annual reminder of the courageous, selfless decisions of their birth mothers to bring them into this world and then, because they were not able to raise them, to entrust them to loving adoptive parents.

 

In the ongoing “pro-choice/pro-life” debate, often overlooked is the option of adoption, instead of abortion. If we “follow the science,” as we’ve been admonished so many times, we know that inside a pregnant woman’s womb is a living being – a human being – patiently waiting for the time it can enter the world and live without a sustaining lifeline called the umbilical cord. So, despite the arguments, abortion is the taking of a life. 

 

Sadly, many times women become pregnant and are unable or unwilling to take on the responsibility for raising a child – or another child, if they already have one or more. The alternative, some in our society insist, is abortion. But adoption – ironically the juxtaposition of two letters – is the better option, what we could term a win-win, for the birth mom, the baby, and the parents who adopt him or her.

 

Which brings us to our family. In addition to our two adopted grandchildren, we also have a son-in-law, now in his 50s, a highly successful entrepreneur who employs 60-80 people in his businesses, and is devoted to serving hundreds of clients. He’s also the father of two daughters and now the grandfather of a little boy. The lives of many hundreds of people have been positively affected the brave decision of a birth mother whom he was blessed to meet for the first time several years ago.

 

Abortion, therefore, isn’t simply a “personal decision” for a pregnant woman. Taking a long view, it literally is a life-changing decision for countless people, continuing many years into the future. Of course, adoption isn’t a simple, inexpensive option. To adopt a child often carries a cost that could total well into thousands of dollars. But how do you put a price on a life?

 

Rather than writing what might seem like a strident pro-life editorial, I’d like to offer a very different view on adoption – one presented in unequivocal terms in the Bible. Because it states that every person who is a child of God, who has been “born again,” as Jesus explained in John 3:3-8, has been adopted by the Lord.

 

Romans 8:15 declares, “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom you cry out, ‘Abba, Father’” [literally, “Daddy.”] Eight verses later we read, “…even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body.”

 

The apostle Paul writes more about this elsewhere, as in Galatians 4:4-5, “But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.”

 

Perhaps the strongest statement of all is found in Ephesians 1:4-5, which declares, “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.”

 

Earlier I mentioned the considerable expense of adopting a human child. But that cost, however high, could never approach what it cost God the Father to adopt us as His spiritual children. Romans 5:8 states, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

 

To make provision for our adoption as His children cost the sacrifice of His own Son, Jesus Christ. So that Paul could write in Ephesians 1:7-8, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence.”

 

Across our nation, many thousands of childless couples would love to have the opportunity and blessing of adopting an unwanted child. Many other families with children would generously open their homes to adopt additional children. If only we could hear that option explained and advocated more often as this great social debate continues.

 

From the moment each of our grandsons was welcomed into our family and adopted, our lives were changed forever. Now we can’t imagine what our lives would be like without them. And for the birth mothers, they had the peace of mind knowing they had made the right sacrifice, seeing to it that the infants they carried into this world would grow up in safe, loving homes.

But even more, think of the countless men, women, and children whom God longs to adopt – for all eternity – because of the priceless sacrifice He has already made. If you’re reading this, you’re probably already spiritually oriented. But the question every one of us must answer is, “Have I been adopted? Have I truly accepted God’s invitation to become a member of His everlasting family?” If not, this could become the day of your own adoption!