Adoption – the Oft-Overlooked Option

This time of the year is very special for our family. The hubbub of the holidays has subsided, and we pause to celebrate the birthdays of several of family members, including two adopted grandsons. It’s an annual reminder of the courageous, selfless decisions of their birth mothers to bring them into this world and then, because they were not able to raise them, to entrust them to loving adoptive parents.

 

In the ongoing “pro-choice/pro-life” debate, often overlooked is the option of adoption, instead of abortion. If we “follow the science,” as we’ve been admonished so many times, we know that inside a pregnant woman’s womb is a living being – a human being – patiently waiting for the time it can enter the world and live without a sustaining lifeline called the umbilical cord. So, despite the arguments, abortion is the taking of a life. 

 

Sadly, many times women become pregnant and are unable or unwilling to take on the responsibility for raising a child – or another child, if they already have one or more. The alternative, some in our society insist, is abortion. But adoption – ironically the juxtaposition of two letters – is the better option, what we could term a win-win, for the birth mom, the baby, and the parents who adopt him or her.

 

Which brings us to our family. In addition to our two adopted grandchildren, we also have a son-in-law, now in his 50s, a highly successful entrepreneur who employs 60-80 people in his businesses, and is devoted to serving hundreds of clients. He’s also the father of two daughters and now the grandfather of a little boy. The lives of many hundreds of people have been positively affected the brave decision of a birth mother whom he was blessed to meet for the first time several years ago.

 

Abortion, therefore, isn’t simply a “personal decision” for a pregnant woman. Taking a long view, it literally is a life-changing decision for countless people, continuing many years into the future. Of course, adoption isn’t a simple, inexpensive option. To adopt a child often carries a cost that could total well into thousands of dollars. But how do you put a price on a life?

 

Rather than writing what might seem like a strident pro-life editorial, I’d like to offer a very different view on adoption – one presented in unequivocal terms in the Bible. Because it states that every person who is a child of God, who has been “born again,” as Jesus explained in John 3:3-8, has been adopted by the Lord.

 

Romans 8:15 declares, “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom you cry out, ‘Abba, Father’” [literally, “Daddy.”] Eight verses later we read, “…even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body.”

 

The apostle Paul writes more about this elsewhere, as in Galatians 4:4-5, “But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.”

 

Perhaps the strongest statement of all is found in Ephesians 1:4-5, which declares, “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.”

 

Earlier I mentioned the considerable expense of adopting a human child. But that cost, however high, could never approach what it cost God the Father to adopt us as His spiritual children. Romans 5:8 states, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

 

To make provision for our adoption as His children cost the sacrifice of His own Son, Jesus Christ. So that Paul could write in Ephesians 1:7-8, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence.”

 

Across our nation, many thousands of childless couples would love to have the opportunity and blessing of adopting an unwanted child. Many other families with children would generously open their homes to adopt additional children. If only we could hear that option explained and advocated more often as this great social debate continues.

 

From the moment each of our grandsons was welcomed into our family and adopted, our lives were changed forever. Now we can’t imagine what our lives would be like without them. And for the birth mothers, they had the peace of mind knowing they had made the right sacrifice, seeing to it that the infants they carried into this world would grow up in safe, loving homes.

But even more, think of the countless men, women, and children whom God longs to adopt – for all eternity – because of the priceless sacrifice He has already made. If you’re reading this, you’re probably already spiritually oriented. But the question every one of us must answer is, “Have I been adopted? Have I truly accepted God’s invitation to become a member of His everlasting family?” If not, this could become the day of your own adoption! 

Wonders of Adoption

Within the next couple of weeks, two of our grandsons will be celebrating their birthdates just days apart (separated also by about seven years). My wife and I have been blessed by a dozen grandchildren in all, and each is unquestionably very special to us. But these two little boys – brothers – are unique to our family. Because they’re both adopted.

Mac and Cam, in some ways very
different - but in the most important
way, very much alike.

Whenever I see Mac and Cam, I marvel for several reasons. First of all, even though they don’t carry any of our DNA, they are definitely as integral to our family as any who share in our bloodline. The court and legal papers say so – and even more important, our hearts say so. They belong to us, and nothing they could ever do can change that.

Second, they are part of our family because their birth mothers made selfless, courageous decisions to let them be born and then find a loving home for them where they enjoy a mom and dad who love them unconditionally. The birth moms were “pro-choice” – they chose to reject abortion and then chose a couple to provide them with a secure, nurturing home.

In an age when many in our society seem to view abortion as an option of no greater consequence than taking out the trash, adoption is the viable – and ultimately, Scriptural alternative. Interestingly, the words “abortion” and “adoption” are very much alike if you simply transpose two letters, a “d” for a “b” and a “p” for an “r” One represents death; the other stands for caring, merciful life.

Whenever the topic of adoption comes up, I also think about how intrinsic that term is for the heartbeat of the Christian faith. For instance, Ephesians 1:4-5 makes this intriguing declaration: “…[God] chose us in Him (Jesus) before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will.”

That passage alone could provide the grist for a number of sermons, but for our purposes here, it’s interesting that it says God “predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ.” Clearly the basis for this was Jesus’ death on the cross as atonement for our sins, and His resurrection, giving us access to God the Father. 

But this isn’t the only place the term is used. In Romans 8:22-23 the apostle Paul writes, “We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.”

Earlier he states,“For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, ‘Abba! Father!’” (Romans 8:15). Then in the next verse Paul adds, “The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God.” This speaks to the assurance we can have as followers of Jesus, the unchanging, eternally secure relationship we have when God welcomes us as members of His divine family.

So as we prepare to wish them both a very happy birthday, I’m so thankful that in these two sweet little grandsons we have an everyday, visible reminder of two things: a very practical, humane solution for unwanted pregnancies, and the eternal truth of our relationship with our Lord. 

In human terms, our boys are both secure in the love and unwavering acceptance of their mom and dad, as well as our extended family. And even more, as disciples of Christ we have all the privileges of adoption into God’s everlasting family – a choice He made on our behalf. The Lord reached out to us because He desired to have a relationship with us. This was something we did not and could not initiate, but one we can and will appreciate. Forever.

Adoption: A Most Delightful Word

One of the kindest, happiest words in the English language is adoption – particularly because it’s something we do voluntarily.

We have pet adoption centers, where lost and abandoned animals can find new homes and loving owners. You can “adopt” a highway, contributing financially to support its ongoing maintenance. Churches sometimes adopt a neighboring community, setting out a strategy for serving and ministering to its residents. Cities sometimes adopt a “sister city” in another country, using that connection to conduct meaningful social and cultural exchanges.

And you can adopt a child, whether an adolescent from a troubled home who has been shuttled around the foster care system, an orphan, or an infant whose biological parents either do not wish to raise it or are incapable of doing so.

Cam had his "day in court" last week.

Our family has been the delighted beneficiary of the latter on two occasions – seven years ago when we welcomed Mac into our clan, and just last week, having little Cam legally declared Mac’s adoptive brother after the requisite waiting period. To say they are a blessing would be among the greatest of understatements.

In both cases, the birth moms made the courageous and caring decisions not to pursue abortions to end their unwanted pregnancies. Instead, they determined to find a loving couple to take on the permanent responsibilities of parenting, nurturing and providing for their babies. That couple, in God’s providence, was our youngest daughter and her husband.

The interesting thing about adoption is that while the boys do not carry their parents’ DNA, they are every bit as much their sons as if they had been biological offspring. Our family regards them the same as the grandkids that do carry our genetic imprint. We can’t imagine life without them in our family.

It’s noteworthy that the concept of “adoption” is also important in God’s grand scheme of things, since it’s cited in numerous passages of the Scriptures, particularly the New Testament. It serves as a descriptive for how we become part of His family. 

Cam is one happy little boy.

In Romans 8:15 we’re told, “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.” That term, “Abba,” best translated as “daddy,” showing the tender, intimate relationship we can enjoy with God as chosen members of His eternal family.

Galatians 4:5 states Jesus came, “to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.” And Ephesians 1:4-5 declares, “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to himself.”

These and similar passages affirm becoming children of God is not automatic, but a gracious, intentional choice by the Lord, welcoming us into His fold. Even when we don’t feel like members of His family – or if a time should come when we don’t want to be – we remain adopted according to His perfect, unchanging will.

In Christian circles we sometimes hear discussions about the “security of the believer.” Can we mess up so badly that we lose our salvation? Is it like pulling petals off a daisy, “He loves me…He loves me not”? Knowing we have been adopted by God should quell such fears.

Just as our two adoptive grandsons were chosen to join our family, and by court decree can do nothing to undo that, we too have the everlasting assurance of being members of God’s family according to His holy, perfect decree. What the Lord has done, we can’t undo.

As Titus 3:5-7 affirms, “he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.” That, my friends, is what we call “Good News.”