Importance of ‘Me’ Is Greatly Exaggerated

We spent a couple of days recently babysitting for two of our grandsons while their parents took a much-needed getaway. It was fun, but also tiring as we monitored their non-stop antics. It also served as a good reminder that humans, no matter how small, don’t need to be taught the importance of “Me.”

 

Whether it’s actually buried somewhere deep in our DNA, I don’t know, but it’s obvious we’re all born with a “sin gene,” the propensity to exalt self from our early conscious moments. We don’t have to teach our kids how to be selfish and self-centered. It comes naturally. Some “experts” would attribute this to an innate self-preservation instinct, but that doesn’t explain why a child perfectly happy with one toy suddenly becomes upset when a sibling picks up another one.

 

Unfortunately, the focus on “Me” doesn’t seem to diminish as we get older. In some respects, it might even intensify. Years ago we heard a lot about the “Me Generation,” and that segment of society seems as self-absorbed as ever. The coddled individuals who all received participation trophies, regardless of how they performed in their youth sports, now expect the good things of life delivered to them on silver platters with little or no effort on their part.

 

But let’s not just pick on one generation of people. Consider: What happens when we hear about someone’s misfortune, or a storm devastating another part of the country, while our life is going well and there’s nary a cloud in the sky where we live? We’re inclined to feel badly for the other folks but for us, “Life is good.” There’s even a line of clothing that goes by that title.

However, things may be going extremely well for other people, but if our immediate sphere of existence has been upset – by illness, personal problems, or bad weather – life is bad, right? What happens if, to borrow a term from “Star Wars,” there’s a “disruption in the force”? Our personal world has been turned upside-down? Life is bad – because it’s all about “Me.”

 

One of the secrets to a rewarding life – one that I’m still trying to learn and master – is it’s not all about me. I haven’t been placed on this earth, and allowed to live this long, for a non-stop exercise in self-realization. Life’s at its best when we take advantage of the privilege to enhance the lives of others.

 

That’s why one particular scripture passage, one I like to call the “do nothing” verse, has become so significant for me. Philippians 2:3-4 tells us to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

 

Do you see it? In just a handful of words, God is declaring that the importance of “me” is greatly exaggerated. In fact, even about Jesus Himself we’re told, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28, Mark 10:45). 

 

Jesus demonstrated this truth on numerous occasions. In His time, the primary form of transportation was walking. Roads weren’t paved, so sandaled feet got very dirty over the course of a day. As the Passover Feast was approaching – as well as His sacrificial, atoning death on the cross – Jesus paused before an evening meal to perform an act of service for His disciples: Washing their feet.

 

After pouring water into a basin and using a towel to wash each of the disciples’ feet, He declared, “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you” (John 13:13-15). 

 

Can you imagine, God incarnate, literally stooping to wash the filthy feet of His followers?

 

Where do we see illustrations of this in our society today? We don’t see it in individuals who turn peaceful demonstrations into opportunities to riot and destroy property, even harming others. We don’t see it in people demanding their “rights” as we all strive to cope with the ongoing pandemic. We don’t see it with politicians doing and saying anything to ensure they gain or retain public office in an election year.

 

If anything, we’ve degenerated with the Me generation. Maybe it’s time for some healthy self-searching and admitting that, it’s not all about Me.

What If It’s Not All About Me?

Someone has surmised that being a narcissist must be the most stressful job in the world. Because it’s so hard to keep the universe revolving around oneself!

There's a bit of Narcissus in each of us.

You know the story of Narcissus, don’t you? He was the fantastic-looking guy in Greek mythology who caught his reflection in a pond one day; Mr. Handsome became so captivated by it, he couldn’t look at anything else. He wasted away while acting as his own mutual admiration society. Seems our own society is infested by lots of Narcissus wannabes.

Years ago we heard a lot about the so-called “Me Generation,” which many have identified as the Baby Boomers. (That’s my generation, by the way.) Out of this arose the mantra, “It’s all about me,” leading to a subsequent generation known as the Millennials that has sometimes been termed the “Me Me Me Generation.” Today, doting parents – many of them products of this mindset – are overindulging their children, leading them to believe they comprise the center of the universe. 

Now we’re hearing about college students staging protests, or requiring “safe zones” to protect them from anyone invited to speak on their campuses that espouse viewpoints differing from their own. It doesn’t take long watching TV commercials to see the focus there, too, is often on “me.” We’re told we should have things, ranging from cars to lavish vacations, because we “deserve” them. The question is, what exactly is it that we did to be so deserving?

Do you remember how, in his inaugural address in 1961, President John F. Kennedy famously stated, “My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country”? As a nation, it appears we’ve drifted a long way from that kind of thinking.

We even find this narcissistic/”Me” philosophy insidiously infiltrating churches and worship services. I’m not opposed to contemporary praise music, but if you listen to many of the songs’ lyrics – after you get past the endless repetition of phrases – they sound a lot like, “God and me, me and God, God loves me….” If these are worship songs, are we certain about who’s the object of worship?

Sometimes we act as if Jesus said something like, “Greater love has no man than…to immerse himself in self-love.” But of course, that’s not what He said. Not even close. He did say, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends” (John 15:13). Then Jesus proceeded to provide the ultimate example of this by surrendering His own life on the cross for our sins.

Before Jesus stepped into the public arena, John the Baptist had attracted quite a following. People thronged to see this curious fellow dressed in camel’s hair and eating locusts, making bold statements about the coming Messiah. He probably appeared on the cover of Jewish People magazine numerous times. But once Jesus appeared, John quickly recognized he no longer needed to be the center of attention. “I indeed baptize you with water…but He…will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire” (Matthew 3:11).

When someone asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment, the notion of “it’s all about me” was conspicuously absent in His response. Instead, He replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40).

Jesus wasn’t condemning a healthy esteem for oneself. If we hold a low view of ourselves, it’s hard to express much love and concern for others. As the apostle Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus, “After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:29). 

But if we’re truly following the Lord, our focus should be outward, not inward. Not, “What’s in it for me?” but rather, “What can I offer to others?” As we’re told in Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing from selfishness or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

It’s not wrong to appreciate God’s goodness and faithfulness to us, or to rejoice in His loving care and provision. I could never recount how many times and the many ways my family and I have experienced those things from Him. But as we read the Scriptures, it seems the model for praise is to concentrate on who God is, with worship, wonder and awe, and consider what He wishes to do through us – not just to marvel at what He can do for us.

Jesus declared, “By this all men will know you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). The world continues to insist, “It’s all about me!” But we can truly stand apart and reflect Christ’s work in us by demonstrating our conviction that it’s not about me (or us), but instead, about serving God and caring for the people with whom we can have influence and a positive, meaningful impact.

It’s ‘All About Me!’ – Or Is It?

The other day I saw a news report declaring 2014, “The Year of the ‘Selfie’” – the fascination so many people have developed for taking photos of themselves in different settings with their smartphones.

Sure, it’s fun to go to a nice place on vacation and take a “selfie” in front of some well-known sight, but people these days are going to extraordinary lengths to put themselves into the picture. At the Tour de France, for instance, spectators jogged just ahead of the competing bikers, arms extended and smartphones angled strategically to prove to all the world, “That’s me. I was there!”

I wouldn’t be surprised to learn about someone taking a “selfie” in Pamplona, Spain while racing to stay a step or two ahead of the charging bulls.

Even as children, we quickly learn
the lesson, "It's all about me!"

You don’t even need to be holding the cell phone. People “photo-bomb” by popping into the mix when photographs are being taken of others, at events ranging from weddings (“See, that’s me with the bride and groom”) to awards ceremonies (“Can you believe that’s me there with DiCaprio?”)

Years ago we heard a lot about the “Me Generation.” We’ve become so me-conscious we don’t even need to use that phrase anymore. It’s assumed. And thanks to the wonders of technology and portability of smartphones, we have ever-improving ways for declaring to the world, “it’s all about me!”

“Me, me, me” is being repeated so often it sounds like the vocal warm-up session preceding an opera or vocal concert.

I’m not stumping for all-out altruism or iron-clad vows of self-denial. No need to get extreme. Not that there’s any real danger of an epidemic of selflessness, anyway. But wouldn’t it be nice to see more people demonstrating more awareness of persons other than “me, myself and I”?

Reading the Bible, it seems evident God isn’t a “selfie” fan. "Unselfish" is the word He’d rather His people emulate. As it states in Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Maybe one reason Jesus Christ came during the time in human history that He did, rather than in the 21^st century, is He didn’t want people flocking to take “selfies with Jesus” and then post them on social media. Quite to the contrary, He instructed His followers, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

But this isn’t easy, especially in a society that in one way or another constantly insists we must “look out for No. 1.” So how do we overcome this tendency? Is there an antidote for “me-ism”?  Let me offer a few suggestions:

·       Perform an act of kindness – or more than one – for people that can’t possibly repay you. That way you don’t have to examine yourself as much for ulterior motives.

·       Find a local organization or project you believe in and volunteer your time and talents to help advance its mission and help those that will benefit. How about tutoring, mentoring, or working in a soup kitchen?

·       Contribute to a charity or non-profit that provides services to meet urgent needs. And if you’re already contributing, give more – or find additional causes to support.

·       Do something special for a neighbor, even if you don’t know them well. And try to do it anonymously so you won’t be doing it to gain an expression of gratitude or receive a similar gesture in return.

If you do any, or all, of these you might discover Jesus was right when He said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). And you’ll begin to understand why.

The REAL Root of All Evil

There’s a common misconception the Bible teaches money is the root of all evil. What the passage (1 Timothy 6:10) actually says is, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” There’s a big difference.

Throughout history money – the love of it, that is – has served as stimulus for many forms of evil: Greed, envy, jealousy, unethical behavior, arrogance, murder, robbery, burglary, muggings, bribery, extortion, and many others we could name.

But if there’s a singular root of evil, it’s not money. It’s pride. If you look at the list above, you’ll note in one way or another, each form of evil is a manifestation of unhealthy pride, unrestrained emphasis on self and self-interest at the expense of others.

This isn’t to be confused, of course, with proper expressions of pride – like satisfaction with a job well done, or being pleased with the accomplishments of a loved one. But pride presents its sinful side when “I” and “me” become paramount.

We see pride manifested in competitions for “biggest” and “tallest,” for instance. The Council for Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat (did you know there was such a council?) reported developers of new super-skyscrapers all over the globe are installing huge, useless needles atop their buildings in a quest to market their structures as the world’s tallest. The still unfinished One World Trade Center in Manhattan and Dubai’s Burj Al Arab are just two examples.

At this time of year, football fans across the country are caught in “We’re No. 1!” hysteria. For some reason, when our favorite team excels, it’s our chests that get puffed up.

Even some churches display pride in its worst forms – practicing one-upmanship with the size of worship facilities, flaunting statistics about membership and baptisms, even seeming downright self-righteous about “correct” doctrine, traditions and teachings.

This is hardly new, however. If you believe in the biblical story about what theologians call the “original sin” and “the fall of man,” it seems the first sin was not disobedience by eating the forbidden fruit, but Adam and Eve’s being suckered in by a prideful appeal.

In Genesis 3:1-7, the serpent (Satan) approaches the first couple and asks, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” Eve replies they were told to avoid only one tree, explaining God had said, “you must not touch it, or you will die.” Then the serpent responds, “You will not surely die…. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

At that moment pride, in all its insidiousness, reared up. The passage doesn’t record this, but I can imagine Adam and Eve eyeing each other and saying, “Hey, that’s right! Who does God think He is, anyway? Who is He to tell us what to do?” The rest, as they say, is history.

In his classic book, Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis wrote, “There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which every one in the world loathes when he sees it in someone else; and of which hardly any people…ever imagine that they are guilty themselves…. There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves…. The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit; and the virtue opposite to it, in Christian morals, is called Humility.”

The world around us tells us pride is okay, even commendable. “Look out for yourself,” the mantra advises. Baby Boomers (I’m a card-carrying member) have been called the “Me Generation,” describing our zeal for “self-realization” and “self-fulfillment.” But for those of us who have become followers of Christ, such attitudes pose a contradiction. If we take a deep, honest look at Jesus, pride should be instantly dispelled. His life – and death – personified humility.

Jesus had every reason to burst with pride, to “lord it over” everyone around him. But instead, God incarnate became humble. Philippians 2:8 states, “And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross.” He calls His followers to die to self as well.

The Old Testament records what God said about pride: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight” (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

God says, “If you want to be proud – be proud about that!”