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| We can try, but no one can truly be an "island." |
In 1624,
poet John Donne wrote, “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a
piece of the continent, a part of the main….” It’s the same today, nearly 400
years later. Some of us might like to live as autonomously as possible, but
being “islands” isn’t possible. We influence – and are influenced by – the people
that surround us, whether at work, in school, at home, wherever we go.
This raises
several questions: What kind of influence will we have on others? What kind of
influence will others have on us? And lastly, who will those people be?
A friend of
mine, Scott, the CEO of a large corporation, offered the following insights:
“The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our
standards. They either help us to become the best-version of ourselves, or
encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our
friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own.
The people around them help to make them great.
We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of
our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the best-version of
ourselves.”
Scott’s
right. To think we can maintain standards and values by ourselves denies
reality. Those we spend the most time with have an impact on our lives whether
we’re conscious of it or not. It’s critical that we choose those people wisely.
Do we want to become the “best-version” or ourselves, or accept a much lesser
version?
When a
President is elected, much consideration is given to those comprising the
President’s Cabinet and chief advisors. Their influence – as well as the
responsibilities they shoulder – help define the Chief Executive’s success or
failure. The new head of a company carefully selects his or her leadership
team, knowing they can help in making key decisions. A football coaches chooses
assistants not only for their skills and expertise, but also for
values that complement his own.
We also
should be diligent in determining who we will “hang out” with on a regular
basis. Are they people who will raise our standards – or ones that have the
effect of lowering them? Because this is so important, the Bible devotes much
attention to it. Proverbs 27:17 points out, “As
iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” This acknowledges there
will be instances of necessary friction and heat; “sharpening” relationships
sometimes produce sparks.
Ecclesiastes
4:9-12 presents profound observations about the impact we can have on one
another. It states, “Two are better than
one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his
friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him
up…. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three
strands is not quickly broken.”
Sooner or
later, we all stumble, fall down despite our best efforts. Who will be there to
help us up? Will it be someone to steady us and get us back on track, or
someone to cause us to fall even farther?
If our
desire is to become the best-version of ourselves, we need others that offer
encouragement and support. Regardless of our standing in society, we’d be wise
to implement the admonition of Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and
good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together…but let us encourage one
another….”
Even Jesus
found it necessary to identify others to help with His redemptive mission, 12
men among many followers to carry on His work. It was a rag-tag, unpredictable
bunch, but 11 of them eventually proved faithful in helping to establish the
strong spiritual foundation upon which the Church – the body of Christ – still stands
and grows. One of them, Judas Iscariot, failed the course, but even he served
as an instrument for Jesus to accomplish His atoning sacrifice on the cross.
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