Refusing to Let Familiarity Breed Complacency

A centuries-old adage declares “familiarity breeds contempt.” This essentially means the more time spent with someone or something the easier it is to become aware of faults and deficiencies, even to the point of becoming resentful or scornful. Upon closer inspection, warts aren’t all that attractive. 

 

I’d propose a corollary to that saying: Familiarity breeds complacency. For a simple example, consider the human thumb. Known scientifically as the “opposable thumb,” it’s distinctive because when the thumb is placed opposite the fingers on the same hand, it allows us to grasp, handle and manipulate objects. Pretty cool, but when was the last time you said, ‘Thank God for my thumbs’?

Years ago, I gained a new appreciation for my right thumb. Heavy traffic I was driving in suddenly came to a stop. Looking in my rearview mirror, I saw the car in back of mine approaching much too fast. Unable to move out of the way, I did the only thing I could think of in that instant. I hit the car horn as hard as I could – with my thumb. The vehicle behind me came to a screeching halt, but my thumb screamed with pain. I had sprained it in the process.

 

Over the next several weeks while my thumb was healing, even the most mundane tasks proved challenging: Turning a doorknob, opening a soft drink bottle, picking things up. My complacency toward my thumb because of lifelong familiarity quickly dissipated. My appreciation level for having opposable thumbs soared.

 

Sadly, something similar to this happens in many marriages. When couples marry, they excitedly exchange “I do’s” – public declarations of their commitment to one another. As the years pass, however, the devotion and fervor they felt in the beginning fades. They become “used to one another” and start taking one another for granted, becoming complacent.

 

If we’re not careful, we can experience the complacency of familiarity with careers, getting an education, pursuing hobbies, even with our faith. 

 

Part of the problem is short memories. We forget why we felt so enthused initially. What if husbands and wives annually on their anniversaries would repeat their vows as a reminder of their promises before God? It could also help to revisit why they decided to get married in the first place, recognizing what was so special about the person they pledged to share a lifetime with. Chances are those qualities are still there; they’re just buried under a pile of complacency.

 

The phenomenon of spiritual complacency is addressed often in the Bible. The Israelites had a special knack for forgetting the blessings God had bestowed on them, starting with their deliverance from slavery in Egypt. This is one reason so much emphasis was placed on memorizing the holy writings. Annual festivals – including the Feasts of Unleavened Bread, Harvest, and Ingathering – were celebrated each year to help them remember what the Lord had done for them.  

 

In Psalm 119:11, the psalmist writes, “I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You.” By “hiding” the Scriptures in our hearts, we not only remember God’s commands, but also His promises, principles for everyday living, and the great things He has done.

 

The New Testament gives us many reminders to help us in keeping fresh what can become so familiar. At this season of the year, much is preached and written about the life, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We could easily say, ‘Oh, I’ve heard that before – many times.’ Maybe, but the truths, realities and ramifications of Jesus’ sacrificial death, the empty tomb and His being raised from the dead are far too important for us to neglect through complacency.

 

We’re exhorted in Hebrews 12:1-3, “let’s run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking only at Jesus, the originator and perfecter of the faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

 

The so-called “Christian life” isn’t easy, contrary to what some would want us to believe. And our contemporary culture is showing increasing animosity toward Christianity and the One who declared, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6).

 

If we’re followers of Jesus, we must beware of the trap of letting familiarity with our faith fall into complacency. As Ephesians 1:3 admonishes, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” By striving to keep our faith invigorated, we’ll never grow tired of reveling in each of our spiritual blessings.

What We Miss by Not Reading Books

One reason I’m a writer, I suppose, is because I grew up an avid, even voracious reader. When you read a lot, you can’t help but learn how words, sentences and paragraphs properly go together.

 

I vividly remember one day when my mom kept me out of school because I had a bad cold. I stayed in bed all day but wasn’t too sick to read. I had borrowed the book, Hans Brinker and the Silver Skates, from the library and read it cover to cover that day. I’ve never succeeded at ice skating, but vicariously enjoyed it through young Brinker’s adventures that day.

 

Bookcases in my room held hundreds of books – fiction and non-fiction, mysteries, science fiction, natural history and prehistory, war and westerns. Through these books I ventured to distant lands and times, gained much knowledge, and discovered the joys of exploring new ideas and using my imagination.

I’ve never outgrown my love for reading. It wasn’t that long ago that over the course of each year I would read upwards of 40 books, some relatively short and others of considerable length. All in the name of learning and growing, as well as being very intentionally entertained.

 

These days, reading seems a lost art. Ask many young people what books they have read recently, and they might be hard-pressed to name even one. They’re reading, but it’s things like text messages, their social media of choice, and Internet websites. Reading in bits and bytes, but not physical books with pages you must turn to discover what happens next.

 

And it’s not just a phenomenon among the young. Many older adults find the time they once spent reading now being consumed by some of the same diversions, along with the vast universe of TV, cable and streaming options. 

 

But there’s something special about books with pages we can touch, with covers made of paper, cloth or leather. Between those covers reside realms of wonder, whether it be facts or fantasy, non-fiction or fiction. Instead of being told what we should think, in reading we exercise our minds and hone our thinking skills, expanding what we already knew and discovering things we didn’t. Compare it to feasting on a sumptuous meal vs. digesting food someone else has already chewed.

 

Of course, when it comes to reading a book, I can recommend nothing more highly than the Bible, the Word of God. Nowhere else can we find such an amazing array of history, narrative, poetry, wisdom, prophecy, guidelines for living, and most of all, truth – God’s eternal, unchanging Truth.

 

The first time I read through the Bible, while a senior in high school, I did it solely as an intellectual exercise. I had read lots of other books, so why not read the Bible and cross it off my list? Most of what I read then made little sense to me. Only years later, after I had committed my life to Jesus Christ, did I begin to grasp the depth and scope of the Scriptures.

 

In 1 Corinthians 2:14 we’re told, “The natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.” With the Holy Spirit as my Teacher, however, I could start understanding what incredible treasure God has provided in the 39 Old Testament and 27 New Testament books.

 

During times when it’s difficult to figure out what to do or which way to go, I’ve found God’s Word an incomparable roadmap. As Psalm 119:105 declares, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” Another passage from that lengthy (176 verses) psalm asks and answers, “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your word. I seek You with all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You” (Psalm 119:9-11). 

 

How can we truly get to know someone and build a meaningful relationship with them unless we spend quality and quantity time with them? In an even more profound way, time spent with God in the study of His Word is never wasted.

 

In America we have access to myriad resources for learning about God and the Bible: radio and TV programs, Internet sites, sermons and messages from gifted preachers and teachers, CDs, DVDs and films. We have excellent books that address many Christian topics. I’ve had the privilege of writing, co-authoring and editing some of them myself.

But best of all, we have the Scriptures available in a variety of editions and translations, all ripe for the reading. Through them we can discover “the way, the truth and the life,” which Jesus declared Himself to be in John 14:6. Faithfully reading God’s Word points us to “the abundant life” Jesus promised in John 10:10, and it can ensure that we will not “ignore this great salvation that was first announced by the Lord Jesus Himself and then delivered to us by those who heard Him speak” (Hebrews 2:3). 

Even When We Know the Truth, Do We Tell It?

Being an old-school guy, I still spend time listening to the radio when I’m driving. I’ve not yet made the switch to iPods or MP3 players – guess I’m still waiting for the next best thing to arrive. Kind of like going straight from the old 8-track tapes to CDs and skipping cassette tapes, even though that’s already an obsolete comparison.

 

Anyway, while scanning the radio recently, I happened upon a song that caught my ear. I don’t even know the artist who sang it, but the lyrics said, “Truth be told, the truth is rarely told.” Wow! Just eight words, but it’s a real mouthful. 

 

There are lots of directions we could go with that thought, but it occurs to me that sadly, this happens even within the Church. Even when we’re not plagued with a global virus that prohibits, or at least inhibits, our assembling together. You would think as groups of admittedly flawed and fallen people gather to be reminded of the love, grace and mercy of God, we’d feel free to be transparent, even vulnerable with each other. Too often, this isn’t the case.

 

I rarely hear the term anymore, but years ago they used to have “come as you are” parties. Often spur of the moment, these involved invitees attending just as they were when the party was announced – wearing pajamas, bathrobes, or whatever. Maybe the downfall of come-as-you-are events was people deciding that no matter where they go, they’ll come any old way they want.

 

Imagine a church marquee announcing, “Come as you are!” with members of the congregation following up on that, welcoming visitors however they are, no facades or pretentions. Maybe some churches are like that, but they’re the exception, not the rule. Yes, it’s become more and more acceptable to ditch the ties and sport coats in favor of jeans, untucked shirts, shorts, sandals, even no shoes. But come as you are – on the inside? 

 

A friend wrote a book called, Behind Our Sunday Smiles, its title derived from our inclination to display false expressions on Sunday mornings, even if we’ve had the argument of all arguments driving to church, or if our personal lives are crumbling. We reason, “If I tell them the truth when they ask, ‘How are you?’ they won’t like me - or won't want to hear it anyway.”

 

Instead of being able to confidently ask, “Can I be perfectly honest?” it’s as the song says, “Truth be told, the truth is rarely told.”

 

Which is sad, because Jesus Christ was particularly drawn to the come-as-you-are kind of folks: 

• Matthew, the much-despised tax collector, who was viewed by his fellow Jews as a sellout to the Romans. 
• The man with leprosy, a social pariah through no fault of his own, who approached Jesus and said, “If you are willing, you can make me clean” (Mark 1:40). 
• The woman who for years had been plagued with a chronic bleeding problem (Mark 5:24-34). 
• The paralyzed man whose friends carried him to Jesus on a mat, asking that he be healed (Luke 5:17-26). 
• The Samaritan woman at the well whose disreputable past caused her rejection by other women in her town (John 4:4-26).

 

There were many others, but each of these saw something in Jesus that enabled them to let down their guard, to cast aside their shame, and approach Him just as they were. Why shouldn’t it be the same in today’s Church, which the Bible describes as the body of Christ (Ephesians 5:25-32, Colossians 1:24)? God never intended for the Church to be a showcase for spiritual giants, but a hospital for sinners desperately in search of healing and recovery. 

 

Isn’t it about time that those outside the Church could no longer say, to borrow the phrase from the film, “A Few Good Men”: “You can’t handle the truth!” Because as Jesus declared, “I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6). He also promised, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

 

As His followers, we shouldn’t only be truth-seekers; we should also be truth-tellers, ones who encourage others to do the same. 

The Person of Every Year

TIME magazine recently announced its annual “Person of the Year,” German Chancellor Angela Merkel. The European head of state was selected over seven other final candidates, but for many of us, we’re poised to celebrate the One who could rightly be called “The Person of Every Year.”

We would be hard-pressed to identify anyone that’s ever walked the earth who has had greater impact than Jesus Christ, whose birth we celebrate each Christmas. For those of us who identify ourselves as followers of Christ, or “Christians,” He is our leader, teacher, example, inspiration, and guide. The Bible describes Jesus as Savior, Lord, the Good Shepherd, the True Vine, the Great Physician, and many other names. Perhaps I’ve left out one of your favorites.

But even for those who don’t profess faith in Christ, even those who vehemently reject Him and His claims to be the Son of God, God incarnate, Jesus’ influence in all of our lives remains unmistakable.

Consider: From time to time the secular media refer to someone who willingly volunteers to help a stranger, even at personal peril, as a “good Samaritan.” In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus told the parable of the good Samaritan to illustrate what He meant when commanding His followers to “love your neighbor as yourself.” That phrase itself has become a virtual cliché, regularly used by people of many faiths – and no faith – to assert our obligation to show compassion, mercy and generosity to those less fortunate than ourselves.

The so-called “Golden Rule,” which admonishes us to “do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12), is another of Jesus’ declarations – downright revolutionary for His time. It’s employed with abandon by those who insist on tolerance for all people, except perhaps for those who believe in and follow the One who said it first.

From time to time we’ll hear about a “prodigal son” who returns to a family, a company, even a political party, after a time of “going astray.” Jesus didn’t use the term “prodigal,” but it comes from another of His parables, also referred to as the parable of the lost son or the two sons, found in Luke 15:11-32.

Jesus was unparalleled in His ability to use what writers call “verbal imagery,” communicating a truth through a vivid oral account. A picture on which to hang a principle. Perhaps this is why so many people remember His stories, even if they don’t understand or dismiss His theology.

Sometimes we hear people being described disparagingly as thinking too much of themselves – “she must think she walks on water.” Jesus did this literally, as recounted in Matthew 14:22-33. And more than one business executive has declared, “I sweat blood to get that account,” a phenomenon Jesus experienced the night before His crucifixion: “And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22:44).

Of course, Jesus’ uniqueness goes far beyond the words He spoke and His activities on earth. He is the only leader of any religion or belief system reported to have died and then be resurrected. Mohammad, Buddha, Moses, Confucius and others don’t and can’t make that claim.

He boldly declared, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father (God) except through me” (John 14:6), and also stated, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). As C.S. Lewis stated, making such statements would mean Jesus either was a liar, a lunatic, or who He said He was – God in the flesh.

And to those who would accept His gift of forgiveness for their sins, possible only by His atoning death on the cross, Jesus made this promise: "In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also” (John 14:2-3).

So as we gather this Christmas with family, friends and loved ones, along with the familiar traditions we have adopted through the years, let’s not stop at reflecting on the pastoral scene of a young mother and father, and a baby in a crude feeding trough – hardly fitting accommodations for the One who would become known as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

Let’s remember that Jesus Christ truly was – and is – like no other. He’s not the person of the year; for many of us, He’s the person of every year.

An Atheist’s Perspective on Proselytizing

Are you familiar with the entertainer Penn Jillette?

He’s not a household name in the Jim Carrey or Tina Fey or Steve Carell sense, but Jillette’s built a solid résumé over the years. He’s perhaps best known as the speaking half of the Penn & Teller illusionist team. A comedian, musician, actor and best-selling author, Jillette appeared briefly on the TV show, “Dancing With the Stars,” demonstrating there was no magic in his dancing.

Wikipedia states he’s also known for advocating scientific skepticism, libertarianism and free-market capitalism. And Jillette’s a straight-forward, unapologetic atheist, stating he’s confident there is no God. So I was surprised to view a video in which he expressed unexpected thoughts about followers of Jesus that evangelize or, as he states it, proselytize.

He described an evening following one of his comedy shows when an individual approached him, very complimentary about his performance. Then the guest, who described himself as a businessman, offered Jillette a pocket New Testament in which he’d inscribed a few notes.

Rather than taking offense, Jillette said he accepted the gift, despite his disbelief. Then in the video the entertainer observed:

“It was really wonderful. I believe he knew that I was an atheist, but he was not defensive. And he looked me right in the eyes.

“I’ve always said that I don’t respect people who don’t proselytize.... If you believe that there’s a heaven and a hell, and people could be going to hell or not getting eternal life, and you think that it’s not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward – and atheists who think people shouldn’t proselytize and who say just leave me alone and keep your religion to yourself – how much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?

“I mean, if I believed, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that a truck was coming at you, and you didn’t believe that truck was bearing down on you, there is a certain point where I tackle you. And this is more important than that.

“This was a really good guy. He was polite and honest and sane, and he cared enough about me to proselytize and give me a Bible.”

What a interesting perspective in our politically correct, “tolerant” society in which intolerance toward people of faith is soaring.

We often hear objections about how “judgmental” and “intolerant” and “narrow-minded” Christians (I prefer “Christ followers”) are in “imposing” their views on others. How “unloving,” the critics declare. But as Jillette points out, if you really believe in heaven and hell, and everything else the gospel message promises, why wouldn’t you want to tell others?

If we saw someone drowning and had a life preserver or a rope to save them, wouldn’t it be unloving not to throw it to them? If they chose not to grab it, that’s their problem, not ours. Or as Jillette said, if you saw someone standing in harm’s way and they ignored your warnings, wouldn’t you try to push them to safety?

The Message paraphrases Proverbs 24:11-12 this way: “Rescue the perishing; don’t hesitate to step in and help. If you say, ‘Hey, that’s none of my business,’ will that get you off the hook? Someone is watching you closely, you know – Someone not impressed with weak excuses.”

If we truly believe Jesus spoke the truth in saying He is “the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6), the unloving thing is to not tell others. It’s a matter of death – and eternal life.

And if you're easily offended by those who wish to talk with you about Jesus, consider this: If you accidentally stepped in front of an approaching car on a busy street, would you be offended if someone reached out to pull you out of harm’s way? You might not agree that Jesus is the one and only way, but at least someone cares enough to tell you about it.