Thinking About Others in a ‘Selfie’ World

We’ve all heard the saying, “There’s no ‘i’ in team.” For sticklers on spelling, that’s true in the most literal sense. But the best teams also seem to be able to minimize the focus on “me” and “I”; players understand that they’re part of something much greater and work to support each other, subordinating their own personal goals.

 

Achieving this might be more difficult than ever in our “selfie” world, with so many people preening and taking photos of themselves from every possible angle with their smartphones. I get it. I’ve done it myself. People like to use photos to chronicle where they are and what they’ve been doing, but this non-stop focus on self can’t be all good.

Recently a friend recalled an observation from a speaker who cited two words we often encounter that do include the letter “i.” In fact, it’s right in the middle of both: Anxiety and pride. I can think of another one: sin. And it’s definitely related to the two others.

 

There’s lots of “I” in the ways we use these words. Like practically everyone else, I’ve experienced anxiety – maybe more than my share – over the past couple of years. I admit that when feeling anxious (yet another word with an “I” right in the middle!) my focus is usually on how I’m feeling, how stresses and uncertainties of living in a pandemic-riddled world are affecting me.

 

Similarly, more often than not, pride puffs up a person. We concentrate on things such as, “What do people think of me?”, “See what I have?” or, “Look at what I have accomplished. Anybody noticing?” Having a measure of self-satisfaction in what we’ve done isn’t wrong, but in excess it can lead to patting ourselves on the back so hard we risk breaking our arms.

 

Throughout human history, long before “selfies” became a thing, inordinate focus on oneself created all manner of problems. The mythical tale of Narcissus provides a classic example. It’s about an impossibly handsome young man who fell in love with his own image when he saw it reflected in a pool of water. We could say this tragic fellow’s thinking was all wet. But to this day we call people narcissists who become obsessed with themselves. Perhaps a few names immediately come to mind?

 

The Scriptures don’t address selfie mania specifically, but they do offer many warnings about the pitfalls of getting controlled by our own interests and desires. When Jesus instructed His followers to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31), He wasn’t giving friendly advice; He was dead serious. He personified that principle by willingly dying on a cross to become the atoning sacrifice for our sins: “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

 

Another time the Lord said, “Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). When His disciples saw Him nailed to the cross, this statement must have echoed loudly in their minds.

 

Thankfully, living and acting contrary to selfie culture doesn’t usually require literally dying for others. We can demonstrate orientation toward others in many ways. Philippians 2:3-4 admonishes, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” That seems to cover just about everything we might do.

 

Years ago, we heard the mantra, “You have to look out for No. 1! If you don’t, who will?” And there’s a measure of truth to that. But biblical admonitions seem to be saying that as we look out for others, even putting their needs and interests above our own, we’re ultimately helping ourselves as well.

 

Many of us remember Jesus’ admonition, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). This is a wonderful virtue on its own, but it also communicates that when we help others, in effect we’re helping ourselves as well.

 

We find this truth affirmed in Proverbs 11:24-25, “One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” This doesn’t guarantee a dollar for dollar return on our generosity, but there’s great joy in knowing God is using us to help others.

So, the next time you feel the urge to take a selfie to make a record of where you’ve been, maybe on vacation or attending a major event, or capture a moment with a special person, go right ahead. But we can also keep in mind that an even better “picture” would be of us stepping forward in ways that put the needs and interests of others ahead of our own. 

Worshiping at the Altar of Self

“Self” certainly receives a lot of attention these days. Go into any bookstore, library or newsstand and we’ll find complete sections devoted to “self-help.” Topics range from how to take good photos to cooking to home repairs and renovation. Books and publications also promise to teach us how to become rich, stay healthy, and become fluent in a foreign language in just 30 days.

These days we don’t even need to venture outside the home for self-help assistance. Google and other search engines guide us to whatever self-help information we need. YouTube offers video tutorials of virtually everything, from installing new software to building birdhouses. If you’re facing major surgery, you can even find videos showing what you’re about to go through (if you’re brave enough to look).

We all need help in these or other areas, and after all, doesn’t the Bible say, “God helps those that help themselves”? Uh, no, it does not – but that’s a subject for another day. The point is, we live in a society enraptured with Self, and not just in the self-help sense.

We often hear people talk about self-fulfillment. Speakers talk to us about self-actualization and self-realization. Counselors provide clients with tips for self-determination. Parents fret over protecting their children’s self-image. Hence, “participation trophies” for everyone, whether they did anything of merit or not. We don’t want Jimmy to think he’s not as good as Johnny. Heaven forbid!

Thanks to the convenience of smartphones, “selfies” are only an arm’s length away. I’ve heard people say they enjoy being with only three friends – “me, myself, and I.” There’s even a magazine called Self. Yes, Self seems to be the center of attention just about everywhere we go.

The problem is, the Bible teaches a secret to successfully living God’s way is learning to take the focus off Self. For instance, Philippians 2:3-4 teaches, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Whoa! Not exactly what Self wants to hear.

It doesn’t stop there. Jesus explained what it requires to be His true follower: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it” (Luke 9:23-24).

Not long after that, Jesus became the ultimate role model, willingly enduring scorn and ridicule, torture, and then crucifixion, not because of anything He had done or deserved, but because we all owed a great penalty for our sins – a price we couldn’t begin to pay – so He paid the full price Himself, giving His life on our behalf. God incarnate denying self.

The apostle Paul, once as full of Self as anyone who ever walked the earth, understood well the importance of denying self. He declared, “I die daily” (1 Corinthians 15:31), not referring to physical death but death to the desires and demands of self, so that he might serve Christ more effectively and consistently.

To believers in the church in Rome, Paul wrote, “…just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life…. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness” (Romans 6:4-13).

Seems God is telling us, if we needing help in how to craft a compelling resume for a new job, hit a golf ball straighter, or bake a special cake for the holidays, by all means seek out all of the self-help we need. However, if our desire is to learn how to love God and others, and to serve Him and those He sends our way, it’s a good idea to shove Self out of the way and let Him take control.