Being Neighborly Has Become Increasingly Difficult

One of the better known passages from the Bible is “love your neighbor.” The statement appears at least seven times in the New Testament, and once in the Old Testament (Leviticus 19:18). But for a number of reasons, this is one of the commandments that’s easier said than done.

For one thing, it’s hard to love someone you don’t even like. If we pay attention to what’s going on in our divided society these days, it doesn’t seem as if there’s a lot of loving our neighbors going on. Epithets and curses being exchanged by opposing sides, lots of shouting down and very little listening. This is one reason Jesus, in discussing the command, made this seemingly outlandish admonition: 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may sons of your Father in heaven…. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not the tax collectors doing that?” (Matthew 5:41-46).

How would you rate yourself in doing this? I’m afraid I wouldn’t get a passing grade on this, at least at times. This is one specific area where I’m still very much “working out (my) salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).

Another factor is how we define the word “neighbor.” In Luke 10:25-37, an “expert in the law” decided to confront Jesus about how to attain eternal life. The questioner summed up the Mosaic law in two commands, “‘Love the Lord your God will all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind,’and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Jesus replied, “You have answered correctly…. Do this and you will live.” But then the religious leader asked for more clarity. “And who is my neighbor?” In response, the Lord told the parable we know as “the good Samaritan,” a term we commonly use still today to describe a stranger’s act of kindness toward someone else in need. 

In the story, Jesus was saying our “neighbor” is anyone to whom we might have an opportunity to provide an act of service, whether we know them or not.

Recently, however, I was reminded of a reality that also impedes our ability to love our neighbors. It was “Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor” Day, and one of those online questionnaires asked about familiarity with neighbors, the folks who live right next door or across the street. The survey asked a simple question: “When was the last time you interacted with a neighbor?” The results were interesting:

21% of the respondents said “within the last 24 hours.” 

22% said “within the last couple of days.” 

16% said “within the last week.” 

20% said “it’s been awhile,” and 2% said they don’t have any neighbors.

As a boy growing up, we had front porches for catching the evening breeze, and it was rare when we didn’t see and interact with our neighbors. We didn’t have air conditioning to keep us huddled inside to keep cool. We didn’t have a plethora of TV channels, not to mention apps on smartphones and tablets to keep our eyes looking down instead of outside to see what the neighbors were up to. We were much more inclined to have occasional neighborhood get-togethers.

It’s not unusual today to have neighbors just down the street whom we’ve never met. And it’s not just our own reluctance to take the initiative to socialize; the neighbors seem equally reticent. So we spend many of our days without seeing or hearing from our neighbors; how can we love our neighbors when we don’t even know who they are?

I’m as guilty of this as anyone, so I’m not preaching – unless to lecture myself. Somehow, despite societal pressures to isolate, we need to do a better job at reconnecting with our immediate neighbors, as well as “neighbors” we might happen to encounter during the course of a typical day. 

Mr. Rogers said, “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood,” but how can we know unless we look out the window or step outside our doors to confirm it? 

Love Your Neighbor. But Which Ones?

When considering God’s commands for mankind, we typically think about the “do-nots,” especially those specified in Exodus 20, Deuteronomy 5, and elsewhere. These include: Do not worship other gods; do not profane the name of God; do not murder; do not commit adultery; do not steal; do not lie; do not covet what others have.

But “don’t” commandments like these are relatively easy to observe. We would know if we murdered someone, or committed adultery, or stole something. If we’re told not to do something, and then we do it, we’d have to be in denial not to realize we’ve broken the command from God. The more difficult commandments are the ones framed in the positive, things the Lord said we should do.

Maybe that’s why, when a religious leader asked Jesus which is the greatest of all commandments – as recounted in Matthew 22 and Mark 12 – He didn’t offer a lists of don’ts. Instead, Jesus summarized the intent of all the commandments by stating two “simple” things to do: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There are no commandments greater than these” (Mark 12:30-31).

Sounds easy, right? Not really. How do we know when – and if – we’ve fully observed either one? The greatest commandment – to love God with all that we are and all we have – has been the subject of countless sermons, and many more to come. For now, I’d like to look at the second great commandment: to love our neighbor as ourselves. 

To underscore just how hard “loving your neighbor” can be, one time Jesus told another leader – called “an expert in the law” – that to inherit eternal life, he also should love God, and “love your neighbor as yourself.” Seeking clarification, this official inquired, “And who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29). Maybe this question was sincere; maybe the guy was just looking for some kind of exception. You can’t really love everyone, can you?  Regardless, it was a good question. One we each should ask of ourselves.

It applies to the ongoing debate about immigration on the southern borders of the United States. Opinions and positions are strong, and in many respects, polarized on this question. But I think it applies just as much – or perhaps more – to “neighbors” who without question reside legally within our national borders. 

Obviously, our “neighbor” could be someone who lives in the house or apartment next door, or across the street. It could be a person, couple or family we meet at church, whether we know them well or not. The “neighbor” Jesus is talking about could be the individual in the next office, or cubicle, or a person we meet on a sales call.

If we broaden the description, we might find our “neighbor” is the homeless person begging for cash downtown, or living in a makeshift tent under a bridge we drive over every day. Our neighbor could be a military veteran, homeless or not, who has returned from a field of battle bearing injuries and scars, some we can readily see – and some that we can’t. Most times, mental and emotional damages aren’t as evident or easy to identify. Are we as individuals, and as a nation, doing all we can to help these “neighbors,” not only to meet their immediate needs, but also so they can return to productive living?

One group of “neighbors” too often overlooked consists of native Americans, men, women and children who live on reservations, often in extreme poverty. Many of us have no idea of the plight they endure every day, or that the rates of suicide and alcoholism among American Indians far exceed the national average for all segments of society. How well are we loving these “neighbors”?

So while our elected officials continue to wrangle over questions surrounding immigrants who seek – legally or not – to cross our borders in hopes of becoming beneficiaries of the so-called “American dream,” we’d be remiss not to search our own hearts and ask how well we’re loving and tending to our “neighbors” who are already here.

Because, as 1 Timothy 5:8 tells us, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 

And, as we seek to become more diligent in loving our neighbors as ourselves, we find ourselves drawing closer to loving God the way we should. Because as Jesus said,“whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40).