Just a Little Farther Down the Road

About 15 years ago, I collaborated with my late friend, David Stoddard, to write The Heart of Mentoring. To sum up the book’s message, we wanted to suggest that everyone should be a “mentored mentor.” In other words, each of us should be mentoring someone else, and we should find someone willing to be a mentor for us.

Today much is said and written about mentoring, with good reason. As we trudge along this journey we call life, it helps to have someone to offer wisdom, advice and guidance whenever we encounter occasions of uncertainty. Which we will. Daily life is more complex than ever; competing and often conflicting messages are plentiful. If we’re humble enough to admit it, having someone to show the way – or least assist us in sifting through the alternatives – can be indispensable.

If we don’t already have a mentor, we might be inclined to admit it could be useful to find one. But when challenged to mentor another person, a typical response would be, “Oh, I’m not qualified to mentor anyone. I don’t know enough.” As if being a mentor requires being an expert or recognized authority.

That’s hardly the case. As we stated in The Heart of Mentoring, all that’s necessary is that you be just a little bit farther down the road from the person you’re starting to mentor. You might be a bit older, or a bit more experienced. It doesn’t require a lot. A college student can mentor a high school student. A young married person can mentor a single person. A long-time married person can mentor a newlywed. Someone who’s been on the job for several years can mentor someone that’s newly hired. And anyone can mentor a child or adolescent.

We can mentor others not only by talking about our successes, but also our failures. Why do we have to make all of our own mistakes? We can benefit from hearing about the mistakes others made, and trying to avoid repeating them.

When it comes to mentoring, the demand always exceeds the supply. But as I’ve learned over more than 30 years of mentoring and discipling others, the return on investment can’t be beat. It’s a great example of the principle Jesus taught, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). Because by investing time and a little energy in meeting with someone over time in a mentoring relationship, we receive not only the satisfaction of helping another person, but also learn ourselves – gaining from their perspectives and unique life experiences.

Mentoring might be unpleasant for both parties, as Dave and I acknowledged in our book, if the mentor takes a condescending, “I’m doing you a favor” approach. However, if it’s understood and approached as a mutually beneficial relationship, in which the mentor recognizes he or she can learn from the “mentoring partner,” it becomes not only a good experience – it can be life-changing.

One of my favorite passages from the Scriptures related to this is Proverbs 27:17, which reminds us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” As I’ve made myself available to other men, offering to share some of what God and life have taught me, I’ve found them “sharpening” me, too, through their insights and questions.

A great thing about mentoring – or if you prefer, discipling (in a spiritual context) – is that it multiplies. Once someone starts being mentored, they can begin mentoring another individual and before long, the pattern starts repeating itself. As the apostle Paul wrote to his young protégé, Timothy, “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others” (2 Timothy 2:2).

That’s at the heart of what Jesus was commanding when He left His disciples with the Great Commission: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations…teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20). Jesus expected His followers to multiply – as they have through the centuries, from a mere handful to countless millions around the world. And this has occurred simply by men and women willing to be used by Him to pass along to others what the Lord has given to them.

If you’d like know more about what a mentoring process looks like, I’d suggest getting a copy of The Heart of Mentoring. I assure you it would be money well-spent. But most of all, if you don’t already have a mentor, try to find one. Ask God to direct you to the right person. Also ask Him to identify someone you could start mentoring. In both cases, it will be time well-spent.

Giving . . . Until It Helps

One thing I like about social media – and admittedly there are things I don’t like – is what you can learn that doesn’t make headlines in traditional media. For instance, author J.K. Rowling (you’ve heard of her “Harry Potter” books, right?) is reported to have become the first billionaire to fall from the Forbes World’s Billionaires list – because of charitable giving.

Lots of rich folks have been deleted from the list simply because they no longer possessed a net worth of more than a billion bucks. But apparently, Rowling’s the first to be eliminated because she’s too generous. Seems that rather than being a free spender, she’s become a free giver.

The report said she offered a simple explanation: “You have a moral responsibility when you’ve been given far more than you need, to do wise things with it and give intelligently.”

I don’t know about you, but this seems like the proverbial breath of fresh air. There are other mega-wealthy individuals known for their largesse, notably Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, who donate huge percentages of their incomes to causes they support. And just because Rowling’s now been “downgraded” to the ranks of multi-millionaires doesn’t mean she’ll have to fret over becoming a ward of the state any time soon.

But in these days when we hear so much about the needs of the oppressed, the down-and-out and the disenfranchised, it’s refreshing to hear about someone who’s as interested in doing something about it as saying something about it.

I know virtually nothing about Rowling. (I may be one of the few people who’s never read a Harry Potter book, or viewed one of his movies for that matter.) So I don’t know what sorts of charitable causes she favors. But at least she’s acting on her convictions enough to become a member of the “I Used to Be a Billionaire” club.

Chances are, you’re not a billionaire. So it would be easy to offer the excuse, “Well, if I were a billionaire, I’d give a lot of it away, too!” But we’ve all heard of billionaires and millionaires that share a common attitude toward their money: “It’s mine, mine, mine!” It seems how much you have isn’t really the determinant of how generous you are.

Rowling was hardly the first to recognize a responsibility for using one’s resources to help others. Jesus Christ made this statement about 2,000 years ago: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more” (Luke 12:48).

Elsewhere, in preparing His disciples to go out on their first missionary foray, Jesus told them, “Freely you have received; freely give” (Matthew 10:8).

So even if we’re not a Rowling and never will be, the underlying principle is worth considering. For example: How do you feel when the pastor starts talking about money during his sermon, teaching what the Bible says about financial stewardship? Or when you’re watching a PBS drama or seeing a video of “golden oldies” music, and they have the nerve to interrupt your enjoyment of the program by asking you to support the network?

Do you think, “Well, that preacher done stopped preachin’ and started meddlin’”? Do you feel resentful that they would ask for your money? Do you protectively reach for your wallet or purse, as if they were planning to snatch it away from you?

Yes, we all have needs – along with our share of wants. But if we have a car, a decent place to live, a computer and access to the Internet, we’re wealthier than most people around the world. So it’s not a question of whether we can give. The issue is, are we willing to give?

So while pondering the “moral responsibility” to give, perhaps it might be good also to consider the privilege we have of giving to assist those with needs we don’t have. We just might discover the reality of what Jesus asserted: “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).