The Problem with Having Short Memories

Memory Lane. Young or old, we’ve all traveled this path at one time or another. We can look back fondly at our childhood, as I sometimes do, especially when reminiscing over the lazy summer days of playing stickball in our neighborhood, walking to the movies, or playing a game we called “dice baseball,” with each number rolled representing hits, outs or walks.

 

I also reflect on the highlight of my high school years, playing drums and percussion with our marching, concert and dance bands. To this day, hearing certain songs – like “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” and “Satin Doll” – transports me back to those exhilarating days.

 

But there are also not-so-good memories, ones we wish we could sweep off Memory Lane. They might involve troubled, even abusive childhoods. My friend Sondra Umberger, for instance, wrote a trilogy of novels drawing considerably from trauma she experienced as a young girl; memories that took years to work through as she sought emotional and spiritual healing. Tragic losses can have a similar effect, leaving sad, dark clouds over those moments of our life’s journey.

 

It’s not just things from our childhoods that inhabit Memory Lane. We remember happy events like weddings, births of children, jobs we loved, friends we made, pets that brightened our lives. Then there are painful recollections – divorce, family challenges, jobs we didn’t like, financial struggles, damaged relationships.

 

Much of the time Memory Lane reflects one’s long, arduous journey through life. At times, however, Memory Lane seems remarkably short.

 

We do that with our favorite sports teams. Last year they may have won the championship, making blissful memories for us. But this year they’re struggling; victories haven’t been automatic. So, fans become restless. Some start thinking, “Fire the coach!” Or, “Last year was last year. This is this year! What have you done for us lately?”

 

This happens all too often spiritually as well. We happily enjoy God’s blessings during good times, but when adversity casts its shadow over our lives, we’re quick to wonder, ‘Where’s the Lord?”

 

The ancient Israelites were notorious for this. God had used a series of plagues to convince the pharaoh to release them after centuries of slavery in Egypt. Then He parted the Red Sea, making it possible for the people of Israel to cross and escape the pursuing Egyptian army. During their trek toward the Promised Land, the Lord miraculously provided water, manna and quail to satisfy their thirst and hunger.

 

Despite all this, the Israelites grumbled continually. “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you [Moses] have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death” (Exodus 16:3). In other words, ‘Yes, the Lord set us free from the Egyptians, but where’s He now?’ They had witnessed one incredible miracle after another, but complained, ‘What has He done for us lately?’ They suffered from another plague – short-term memory.

 

The Passover, which Jews observe to this day, was established to counter this. “Then Moses said to the people, ‘Commemorate this day, the day you came out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery, because the Lord brought you out of it with a mighty hand…'" (Exodus 13:3).

 

Because we all have this chronic tendency to forget God’s kindness and faithfulness to us in the past when confronting present challenges, the words “remember” and “in remembrance” appear often in the Scriptures. Sometimes they prod us to recall what the Lord has already done for us, encouraging us to trust Him for our current and future needs. 

 

In Isaiah 46:9, God strongly admonishes His wayward, forgetful children: “Remember this, fix it in mind, take it to heart, you rebels. Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me.” What a reminder to hearken back to the wondrous things the Lord has done. In addition, in essence He’s saying, “Do you know who I am? Do you really understand?” 

 

Later in Isaiah we find the prophet’s fitting response: “I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord, the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has granted us, and the great goodness to the house of Israel that He has granted them according to His compassion, according to the abundance of His steadfast love” (Isaiah 63:7). The prophet wasn’t referring to a time of ease and prosperity. God had called Isaiah to declare His truth to a people whose short-term memory was causing them to disregard all He had done for them in the past.

 

Hebrews 10:32-36 presents an interesting combination, urging us to use memories of what the Lord has done in the past to give us confidence for the future: “Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering…. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.”

 

So much more could be said about the benefits of strolling along our spiritual Memory Lane and recalling how God has worked in our lives to bring us to where we are today. The “steadfast love of the Lord” hasn’t changed or diminished. Even in uncertain times, we can trust in Him. “A man’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?” (Proverbs 20:24).

Memories . . . and Then There Are Memories

My sister, Ida, and me during our wild and crazy days!

A longtime friend, Jim Mathis, is a very accomplished photographer. I enjoy the craft, and think I’m fairly good at it, but Jim’s probably forgotten more about the art of photography than I’ll ever learn. So for me he’s the camera world's E.F. Hutton – when he speaks, I listen.

Recently he wrote about the problem with cherished photos from 30, 40 or 50 years ago. Many have become discolored or faded with the passage of time. Today, a service Jim offers through his photography shop is salvaging old photos. He says his restoration techniques can make the pictures last for hundreds of years. (I think he’s telling the truth, but don’t plan on being around to check the guarantee!)

What he’s doing, however, is more than preserving aging images. In essence, he’s assisting people in salvaging fading memories.

A few months ago I had several hundred old photos digitized. Reviewing them took me on a tour of Memory Lane: pictures of my mom, dad, sister and grandparents; my childhood home; long-departed pets; old cars; travels to picturesque settings like Europe, the Grand Canyon, Jamaica and Disney World; our grandkids not long after they were born.

My father explaining how my life was about
to change with a baby sister on the scene.

As I reflected on these images and experiences they represented, it occurred to me there are memories – and then there are memories. Some worth holding onto as long as we can; others we should discard as soon as possible.

With photos it’s easy. If it’s someone or something you want to remember, you keep the photo – even have it restored if necessary. Photos that carry bad memories? Those we can tear up or throw into the trash.

If only our cerebral memories worked the same way. The bad ones – hateful words directed our way, destructive relationships, painful losses, devastating failures – those tend to linger much longer than we’d like. If only they’d fade like old photographs.

Maybe that’s why the advice of the Bible is to remember the good, but to forget the bad. Put the negative stuff in the rearview mirror – and don’t look back.

The apostle Paul wrote about this. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14). He had a lot to forget – days he proudly persecuted Christians before he became a follower of Jesus himself.

In essence he was saying, “I could dwell on my vengeful, self-righteous past. But I can’t change that. God has forgiven me and for the rest of my life, my goal is to do what He asks of me.”

We all have things in our past we wish we could undo – if only God would grant us a “do-over.” But that’s not possible. And they haven’t invented time machines, at least not yet, to enable us to revisit the past and correct what we did wrong. So we, too, need to be forgetting what is behind.

But the Bible doesn’t tell us to forget everything. We can learn from failures to make course corrections. We can delight in happy memories that have helped make us what we are today. And as we seek to grow in our faith, we can – and should – remember what God has done for us, and for others.

The ancient Israelites often were commanded to do one thing in considering their heritage and what God had done for them: Remember. The 11^th chapter in the book of Hebrews, sometimes called the “hall of faith,” is a series of remembrances about the Old Testament patriarchs.

Jesus’ very last words to His followers urged them to remember – and anticipate. “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). He also promised, “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am” (John 14:3).

So the lesson is this: Baggage from your past, memories dragging you down or acting like chains that keep you from moving forward, bury them in your “forgetter.” But memories of special moments, along with experiences that have helped to shape you into who you are and who you’re becoming, never let those fade. Restore them if necessary. And revisit them often.