Enjoying the ‘Now’

Five-year-old Talan and 19-month-old Bryce
found lots of entertainment in a small fan.

I love deadlines. I hate deadlines. “Make up your mind, Bob.” Let me explain.

After decades of journalistic training, I’ve learned to respond to deadlines. Deadlines provide motivation – I need to get something accomplished by a certain day or time. Must keep my commitments. Without deadlines to aim at, the procrastination bug bites. I think of many things to do, anything except what I’m supposed to do: write and edit. So a deadline gives me the incentive to focus on the task at hand and not get distracted.

At the same time, deadlines can keep me from valuing the moment. Concentrating on what needs to be done for then, I’m tempted not to appreciate what’s happening now. The other day, for example, two of my grandsons were here, doing what grandsons do. Silly stuff. Playing. Being cute. On that day, however, I had a deadline. Trying to push a book project I’ve been working on toward completion.

Little Bryce is taking
his first steps, and having
a grand time in the process.

So I had a dilemma: Should I stick to my work and keep on schedule, closing my home office door so the grandsons wouldn’t interrupt? Or should I sneer at the deadline and spend time with the boys?

Ultimately I compromised, taking breaks to play with Talan and Bryce a bit, including taking some photos (they grow up so fast!), and then getting back to the task. Not ideal, but at least I didn’t ignore an opportunity to be with them, time I’d never be able to recapture.

Years ago, as editor of community newspapers, I gave myself to the job. Work weeks of 60-70 hours or more were the norm. I was building my career. But I was also missing out on classic moments when my daughters were growing up.

Hiding in a closet also
is great fun, according
to Talan.

Now my career, for what it’s worth, has basically been built. There still are projects to do – books, magazine articles, workplace meditations, letters and blogs. But I’m also trying to curb my workaholic tendencies so I can enjoy the now, special moments with family that will be etched in my memory (as long as I have one).

That’s why Ephesians 5:16 serves as a good reminder: “Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Moments, once past, are gone forever. Savor them – or lose them.

When I read that verse, it reminds me of boyhood years when my mother collected S&H Green Stamps. You got them at the grocery store, pasted them into collector booklets, and when you had enough you “redeemed” them for useful items at “redemption centers.”

As I recall, the one thing you couldn’t redeem there was time. Hopefully, I’m succeeding in doing some of that now – without the stamps.

Listening . . . and Ready to Respond

Over the weekend my wife and I stayed overnight with a little grandson while mom and dad enjoyed a quick getaway. When it was bedtime, we hoped Maclane would sleep quietly until morning, affording Grandma and Pop a good night’s rest. But Mac had other plans.

So in the wee a.m. hours when he started crying, we waited a few minutes, hoping he’d close his eyes and go back to baby dreamland. But his crying persisted, and soon it was a reenactment of many times when our daughters were young: We went to the rescue.

That’s what good parents and grandparents do. When little ones are in distress, we respond to offer help as needed. To ignore tiny pleas for assistance would be tantamount to child abuse.

Knowing how readily we react to the needs of our earthly children, despite our flaws and imperfections, underscores how much we can trust in our perfect Heavenly Father to answer the cries of His children.

Just this morning I was reading Psalm 30, in which King David makes these observations:

“O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me…. To you, O Lord, I called; to the Lord I called for mercy…. Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help. You turned my waiting into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy” (Psalm 30:2-11).

Without question, these days many of God’s children are pleading for His intervention. As occurred last spring, tornadoes have devastated many parts of the country. Here the "tornado-proof” Tennessee Valley seems to have turned into a new “Tornado Alley.” Twisters struck less than a mile from where two of our daughters live; their homes were spared, but many residents’ homes were destroyed or severely damaged.

A good friend recently received disheartening news about the baby she is carrying. The uncertainty for the remainder of her pregnancy, and for the infant’s future, makes this a very difficult time for her, her husband and family.

Unemployment, health issues, financial struggles and family discord are among other concerns being presented to God in prayer by His followers. How will He respond?

As the scripture passage above and many others assure us – He will respond, often in ways that far surpass our expectations. In Jeremiah 33:3 the Lord promises, “Call on me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things that you do not know.”

And that’s a promise.

Time Continues Marching On

Bryce and Maclane are becoming good buddies.

A year ago we were adjusting to the happy addition of two infants to our family. This week both little guys will have turned one year old; already they’ve come a long way from those tiny blankets that swaddled them on the way home from the hospital. Time still flies – or marches on – whichever verb you prefer.

Maclane, who marked his first birthday about two weeks ago, is toddling around everywhere, and has already proved to be very vocal. His favorite words right now seem to be “momma” and “uh, oh!” – mixed with gibberish only he can comprehend. He seems to have concluded the world is one big toy box.

Later this week Bryce also turns one. Having been born about six weeks premature, he has some catching up to do with his older cousin. But he’s getting that crawling thing figured out, has started building his own vocabulary, and when he’s in the mood, will even wave bye-bye.

Having two infants around reminds us of how wondrous even the smallest things can be – a flower, a tiny bit of fruit, a hole in a sock, even a tuft of carpet that has worked loose and lies alone on the floor. Babies notice such things. And as grandparents, we realize how easy it is to lose an appreciation for life’s simpler things.

Years ago I first heard someone comment, “If I had known grandkids were so great, I would have had them first!” At the time we didn’t yet have grandchildren. But now, with five grandkids living nearby, along with five others in Ohio, we “get it.” Proverbs 17:6 states, “Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”

They are fun to have around, watching them grow, learn and display their unique personalities and interests. I hardly regard myself or my wife as “aged,” but as we spend time with our “young ’uns,” the passage seems right. They truly are a “crown.”

‘Miracle Babies’

Our extended family has grown considerably in recent weeks, adding two newborn grandsons. Both, in their own way, are what I’d consider “miracles.”

After several years of trying to have children, our daughter Sarah and her husband Alan entered parenthood rather suddenly. They learned of a single mother that had just given birth and wanted to find a good adoptive home for her baby. With little ones already at home, the young woman didn’t feel she could handle the responsibility of yet another.

Sarah and Alan had been looking into adoption and quickly it became evident this opportunity was what some people would call a “God thing.” For them, it meant the joy of finally having a child. For the baby, Maclane, it meant a more stable upbringing than he would have had otherwise.

Then, three weeks to the day later, our oldest daughter Amy and her husband Chris also became parents to a newborn, although Bryce’s arrival was sooner than anticipated. Amy had early stages of preeclampsia, a potentially serious condition in pregnancy, so the obstetrician decided it would be best for both mom and baby to induce labor early.

So, little Bryce appeared about six weeks ahead of schedule. The only hitch was his lungs were not fully developed, not uncommon for preemies. He had to spend a bit more than two weeks receiving excellent care in the NICU at T.C. Thompson Children’s Hospital. During that time, Amy and Chris benefited from the facilities of Ronald McDonald House, since they live more than 30 miles from the hospital.

Ironically, Bryce’s aunt Sarah also spent two weeks at T.C. Thompson’s NICU more than 25 years ago, so now they are fellow alumni.

For Sally and me, it’s another opportunity to be proud grandparents, reaffirming the saying, “If I had known grandkids were so great, I would have had them first!”

As Proverbs 17:4 says, “Children’s children are a crown to the aged.” We agree with that, except for the “aged” part. We don’t think that describes us yet – hopefully not for quite a while!