Salvaging Our World of Words

Another old year shoved to the basement, we begin our 365-day ascent toward the apex of whatever the new year holds. Along this trek, we’ll be carrying baggage from the past, along with supplies to sustain us for the future. Much of those “supplies” will consist of words we’ll employ, sometimes for good – and sometimes not.

The year just concluded had more than its share of words, written and spoken. An inordinate measure of them seemed connected to the name “Trump,” many times not in good ways. Having no interest in using my first post of the year to dabble in that topic, it seems more appropriate to contemplate how we’ll utilize words in the coming days.

Not everyone is a “writer,” although nearly all of us write, even if it’s just via texts, email or social media. So, we’ve all the opportunity to use words as tools – or weapons. It’s a choice we all must make.

We not only choose which words to use – and how – but also have the option of not using words at all. That’s where I’d like to focus. It was humorist and social commentator Will Rogers who said, “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” He departed from this life in 1935, more than 80 years ago, but the wisdom of this witticism seems as apropos as ever.

It was not Rogers, however, who originated the novel idea that just because you think it, you’re not obligated to share it for all who will hear it. President Abraham Lincoln is reported to have said, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.” Certainly many other wise observers have expressed similar cautions through the centuries, since the tendency to give someone a piece of one’s mind they can’t afford to lose seems universal.

This is underscored in the Scriptures, which offer dozens of admonitions about the virtues – and evils – of what we say and write. The closest to the statements above is Proverbs 17:28, which declares, "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”

There are others worth noting. Here’s a sampling:

• “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity” (Proverbs 21:23).
• “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered” (Proverbs 17:27).
• “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).
• “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4).
• “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

Then there’s my personal favorite, one I need to remind myself of often. I still have memory lapses, too many, but it’s steered me from trouble many a time: “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).

Even for those of us who regard ourselves as introverts, communication is an integral, inevitable part of daily living. Using admonitions like those above – embracing them even – can help in our desire to be part of the solution, rather than the problem in our world that’s increasingly infected by hate speech, intolerant tolerance and irrational inventive.

Whether we make New Year’s resolutions, set annual goals, or simply intend to “do better” in the coming year, we’d be well-advised to weigh what not to say, as well as what we should say.

THINK Before You Speak

We’re all familiar with the admonition, “Look before you leap.” Makes sense – a leap of a few feet might be of little consequence, but leaping off a cliff or from a building several stories high wouldn’t be a good idea. So preceding our leaping with our looking seems quite wise.

We could say something similar about speaking, especially in these days of quick, immediate communication – texting, email, voicemail, social media. A proper admonition would be, “Think before you speak.”

Recently I came across an acronym that encourages us to do just that. This acronym, THINK, stands for:

            T – is it true?

            H – is it helpful?

            I – is it inspiring?

            N – is it necessary?

            K – is it kind?

Unfortunately, much of our communication these days is anything but these. We don’t seek to check the veracity of statements we hear and read. If we agree with them, if they reinforce our biases and prejudices, they must be true, right? Why bother trying to be helpful when we can belittle and degrade? Rather than inspiring, we too often opt for discouraging and criticizing. Much of what we communicate, whether in person or via impersonal methods, isn’t necessary at all. And sadly, kindness is sometimes our last consideration when we’re intent on giving someone a piece of our mind.

Not to dwell on politics, but since this is a Presidential election year, I think it would be extremely refreshing – surprising, or even shocking – if the candidates would choose to focus on their own strengths and views and policies rather than exerting so much energy in trying to discredit and diminish their opponents. Don’t bet on it.

But we don’t have to be running for public office to find value in a commitment to THINK before we say something.

Perhaps the strongest biblical admonition along these lines is found in Ephesians 4:29, which tells us, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

The Scriptures don’t stop there. Repeatedly passages in the Bible urge that if we don’t have something good to say, it’s better to zip the lip. For instance, Ecclesiastes 10:12 states, “Words from the mouth of the wise are gracious, but fools are consumed by their own lips.” Remind you of anyone you know, or someone you’ve seen on the news?

Proverbs 13:3 offers these words of caution: “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” The Bible’s book of wisdom also states, “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue” (Proverbs 11:12).

Even Jesus taught sternly against waging a war of words. Speaking to religious leaders of the day, He said, “You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks…. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:34-37).

And as followers of Christ, we should be striving to emulate Jesus’ example of saying only what is fitting for the moment. As the apostle Paul wrote, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6).

Then there’s one more admonition I’m often reminded of when tempted to speak impulsively what’s on my mind: “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue” (Proverbs 17:28).

So once again, since we’re still early in the new year, it wouldn’t hurt if we each resolved to THINK before we speak or write.