Applying the Remedy for Discouragement

Do you ever feel discouraged? Maybe the special meal you planned didn’t turn out as expected. Or the diet you’ve tried hasn’t produced the results you wanted. Or just when you thought you were getting your finances in order, an emergency threw your budget out of whack. 

Perhaps the source of your discouragement is more profound: After years of striving to be the perfect parent, following advice from all the ‘experts,’ a headstrong teenager has you worrying well into the night. Where did you go wrong? Or after watching too much news on TV, the current state of the world has your head spinning, knowing there’s absolutely nothing you can do to fix it.

 

Reasons for being discouraged come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we can’t seem to overcome those feelings. By definition, discouragement means to lack encouragement. This is where we can step up to help one another. 

 

The anonymous writer of the New Testament book of Hebrews understood this, because he wrote one of the Bible’s most powerful passages about applying the remedy for discouragement: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…” (Hebrews 10:23-25). 

 

There’s a lot packed into those three verses. We find it’s not a matter of, “Suck it up! Things will get better. Just be positive.” No, the primary reason we can feel encouraged – to have hope – is because of God and His character. He’s ever-faithful, doesn’t fall asleep on the job, and is busily at work, even when we can’t see exactly what He’s doing. He’s the source of confident hope, no ‘hope-so,’ wishful thinking.

 

Next, I like the phrase, “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” When I was a boy, I spent many hours watching cowboy shows – Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Hopalong Cassidy, Wild Bill Hickok, the Long Ranger. They’d ride about proudly on their “trusty steeds,” and when immediate action was required, would spur their horses into action.

 

Encouragement should work the same way. It’s not about engaging in a mutual self-pity party, commiserating about how bad things are. It’s prodding or ‘spurring’ one another into action, acting on the hope and trust we have in the God who in Jeremiah 29:11 says, “… I know the plans I have for you…plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.”

 

Circumstances might not change or improve immediately, but instead of acting like turtles and retreating into our shells we can continue moving forward, assured the Lord hasn’t forgotten about us.

 

Then there’s the part about “meeting together” to encourage one another. This life, as I’ve stated before, isn’t about mimicking the aforementioned Lone Ranger, living a life of isolation. We need one another, one day being the recipient of encouragement and another day being the one who offers it.

 

While it doesn’t use the word ‘encouragement,’ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 addresses this strongly: 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

 

Where do we find encouragement? Where can we give it? It might be a close friendship in which two people are always there for each other; whenever there’s a need the other promises, “I’ve got your back.” It might be a personal accountability group, a handful of folks who don’t exchange pleasantries but are willing to ask tough questions when needed, along with offering timely help and support. Or it could be colleagues at work, ready to assist one another when workloads become too heavy or demanding.

 

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Barnabas, who’s introduced in the 4^th chapter of the book of Acts. His given name, we’re told, was Joseph. But he earned the nickname Barnabas, literally Bar-Nabas – “son of encouragement.” 

 

His very first act in the Scriptures was to sell a field and donate the entire proceeds to the work of the apostles, who had been commissioned to carry on Jesus’ work after He ascended to heaven. What a way to let the Lord’s closest followers know he believed in them and wanted to support what they were doing.

 

But his greatest moment of encouragement was when he came alongside Saul of Tarsus, after the one-time persecutor of Christians had encountered Jesus Christ while heading to Damascus, planning to carry out more mayhem. Saul – later renamed Paul – experienced a miraculous transformation, but the apostles weren’t buying it. We’re told, “…he tried to join the disciples, but they were afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple” (Acts 9:26).

 

In stepped Barnabas, who obviously spent considerable time with Saul to hear him out. Barnabas boldly stood up for the new believer, knowing his own reputation was on the line. Probably with reluctance the apostles allowed Saul to remain with them, and he proved to be a bold witness for Christ. Can you imagine how encouraging it must have been for Saul to have Barnabas vouch for his transformed life?

 

Their story doesn’t end there, but it’s a glowing example of the powerful impact of one person offering encouragement to another. Through the power of Christ, we can do the same. God might not send another apostle Paul our way, but even a brief time spent with a person needing a kind word or a generous gesture can have more impact than we could imagine. And we’ll discover that by encouraging others, we’ll be encouraging ourselves.

Encouragement: Priceless Gift That Costs Little

Have you gotten over election campaign fatigue yet? Shortly before the Presidential election, a retailer told me sales were markedly down – seems the American public was simply worn out by the overwhelmingly negative campaigning. Feelings of widespread discouragement had set it, to the extent that people lacked even the initiative to go out and buy stuff!

But it doesn’t take rancorous rhetoric, or even the media’s fixation on accentuating the negative, to feel discouraged. Challenges at work can drag us down. Financial pressures – particularly at a time when TV commercials are urging us to give lavishly during the Christmas season – can easily keep our smiles turned upside-down. Sometimes we feel like the person working out on a treadmill or exercise bike who’s going no place really fast.

So as we’re pondering our Christmas lists, wondering what’s the best gift for Aunt Susie, Uncle George or cherished friends, perhaps we should consider giving a gift that’s priceless, yet in reality would cost us very little: Encouragement.

One of my favorite people in the Bible is Barnabas, whom we meet for the first time in Acts 4. We’re told about “Joses, who was also named Barnabas by the apostles (which is translated Son of Encouragement)…having land, sold it, and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet” (Acts 4:36-37).

It doesn’t take long to discover why this fellow deserved the “Son of Encouragement” nickname. As the previous passage points out, he was generous, a wholehearted giver who was eager to support the early Church.

Later we learn that after the conversion of Saul, the formerly zealous persecutor of Jesus’ followers, it was Barnabas who took the risk of coming alongside the Pharisee who had literally seen the light. Barnabas became a mentor for Saul, whose name was later changed to Paul, and they joined in several miraculous missionary journeys.

When they parted ways, it actually was because Barnabas was continuing to encourage. This time it was his nephew, John Mark, whom Paul had written off after the young man had deserted their mission, perhaps struggling with a case of homesickness. Years later, without mentioning Barnabas and his resolve to give his relative the benefit of the doubt, Paul wrote to his own protégé, Timothy, “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11).

Can you imagine the impact it had, first on Saul and much later John Mark, to hear Barnabas say, despite evidence to the contrary, “I believe in you”?

We don’t have to be mind-readers or equipped with extraordinary powers of observation to recognize that many people around us are weighed down by discouragement. Whether it’s the widespread malaise that seems to afflict the world around us, or very personal struggles, lots of folks are discouraged. Do they need to go to professional counselors, or make a series of appointments with psychologists? Or get prescriptions for mood-shifting medications?

For some, that might be the case. But for most of us, simple words of encouragement or kind gestures that say “I care” and “I’m here for you” are enough to lift spirits and enable them to recapture the “merry” usually associated with this Christmas season.

With email, texting and instant messaging, few people actually write notes anymore. So why not send one to someone who could use a lift? Not only will they become heartened to know they’re not alone, but also might be so shocked to receive an old-fashioned pen-to-paper note that they’ll even forget what had them so discouraged.

Perhaps as you’re looking past Christmas and pondering goals or resolutions for the New Year, you might make coming alongside someone desperately in need of encouragement a practical and, as I noted, very inexpensive gift. All it would take would be a little time, a bit of energy, and a willingness to let him or her feel important, that they matter, and offer assurance that better days lie ahead.

In whose life would God like to use you as a Barnabas, an encourager, in the coming days? You might not have to look far. That person might be right in front of you at work, in your church, your neighborhood, or even in your home. It’s the gift that fits any budget.

Being Strong and Courageous

If someone came alongside of you, put an arm around your shoulders and said, “Be strong and courageous,” how would you react? Would you say, “Thanks, that sounds like a great idea!” or would you reply, “Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what I’m facing?”

Over the years a number of people have called me an encourager. I appreciate the compliment, even though I’m not sure it’s always true. The Bible teaches all followers of Christ are bestowed with spiritual gifts, and I do think a gift I have is encouragement. However, as is often the case, a strength can also become a weakness.

Most days I feel encouraged and optimistic, and try to pass that perspective along to others. But sometimes it seems discouragement lurks just outside my door, eager to pounce whenever the opportunity presents itself. I can be cruising along, enjoying my rose-colored glasses view of life, when something happens and BOOM, I’m hyper-discouraged.

Being strong and courageous requires more
than flexing well-toned muscles.

One definition of the word encourage is to “inspire with courage, spirit, or hope.” This makes sense, because when I’m being encouraged by someone else, it takes more than a “don’t worry, be happy” type of exhortation. It’s the act of imparting courage – because often that’s exactly what circumstances demand.

Amid the chaos of this thing we affectionately call “life,” at times it requires courage just to get out of bed and confront the day. Then, after turning on the morning news, we need courage to resist the temptation to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over our heads!

As I recently began reading the Old Testament book of Joshua, it was interesting to see things haven’t changed in the thousands of years since that narrative took place. The Israelites were about to realize the promise God had made 40 years earlier, entering the Promised Land and experiencing for the first time the “land of milk and honey.”

Many of the people of Israel imagined they’d soon be thinking, “We’ve got it made!” They would be leaning back in their recliners, sipping cool drinks, and proclaiming, “Ah, this is the life!” But God was saying, “Not so fast, my friends.”

Joshua had just succeeded Moses as the Israelites’ leader, and was about to command them to cross the Jordan River. But first God had a few choice words for Joshua, instructions he would need to follow more times than he could have guessed.

What did God say? “Be strong and courageous…. Be strong and very courageous…. Be strong and courageous.” Are you seeing a pattern here, that God had a point of emphasis He didn’t want Joshua – or the Israelites – to miss? This command appears three times within the first nine verses of the opening chapter of Joshua.

Why the repetition? Because the Israelites would certainly be entering a land overflowing with everything they needed, but it wouldn’t become theirs easily. They would encounter formidable opposition, other peoples not particularly thrilled with surrendering control of their good stuff.

So the Israelites and Joshua, as their leader, would definitely need to be strong and courageous. It might have been worthy of a picture postcard (if such things had existed then), but the Promised Land wasn’t a place for weak hearts – or weak knees. Interestingly, the people of Israel must have realized that as well. Upon affirming their commitment to follow Joshua, they also exhorted him to “be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:18).

Seems to me the Lord might be telling us the same thing. This was not a directive reserved only for itinerant Israelites. In His last days with the disciples, Jesus was telling them that very quickly “business as usual” for them would be over. His earthly ministry was about to end.

The disciples, clueless about the monumental events about to unfold, were distressed. Jesus told them to calm down: "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).

Turmoil enveloping our world can seem daunting, even overwhelming. Looking to our national and international leaders, can we be blamed for occasionally wondering whether all they’re doing is rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic? If ever there were a time that called for strength and courage, it’s now.

It’s the last portion of Jesus’ declaration that makes this more than Pollyanna thinking. After telling His followers to “take courage,” He added the assurance, “I have overcome the world.”

We therefore have a choice: We can accept what Jesus said as a promise and follow the exhortation of the apostle Paul, who wrote, “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power” (Ephesians 6:10). Or we can dismiss it, arguing, “Jesus, You don’t understand what we’re up against here.”

I’m thinking that being strong and courageous – in His strength – is the better option.

Being Inspired to Be What We Could Be

Do you have someone who has inspired you - or is inspiring
you - to become all that you would like to be?

A quote recently hit home with me: “Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I’ve not read much of Emerson’s writings, but isn’t that true? We all have a vision for what we could be, but isn’t it great when – or if – we have someone who affirms what we believe about ourselves or even better, sees something in us that we don’t?

Over the years I’ve been fortunate to have several people who filled that role for me. There was my fourth-grade teacher who told my mother at a PTA meeting that I was “college material.” Since no one in my family had ever gone to college, these words definitely cast a vision for myself that I didn’t have before. During my freshman year in college, an English instructor commended me on my writing ability and urged me to pursue it, even suggesting I enter writing contests – one of which I won.

My uncle, Joe Tamasy, encouraged and challenged me to always reach beyond my comfort zone to try and learn new things. He taught me not to be afraid to fail, helping me to realize failure is sometimes the surest path to success.

More than 30 years ago, after I was hired to become editor and publications director for CBMC, my boss presented my psychological profile that had been prepared while I was a candidate for the job. The evaluation called me a “diamond in the rough,” stating if they were willing to take a risk in hiring me, despite a lack of experience in magazine and book writing – part of my job description – I could prove to be a prized employee. My boss, in hiring me, took that risk and opened the door to many opportunities for me.

And about 13 years ago my friend, Dave Stoddard, pointed out although I’d been a professional journalist for 30 years, he still saw untapped potential in me. He offered, “if you need a place where you can flourish and become all God wants you to be, we have a place for you.”

Who has been that person for you? Have you ever had someone recognize something in you that until then you weren’t even sure was there – or were reluctant to acknowledge for fear of being mistaken?

Maybe it’s for that reason one of my favorite personalities in the Bible is Barnabas. After the conversion of Saul, who changed from being a fierce foe of followers of Christ to one of His more dedicated followers, Jesus’ disciples were reluctant to embrace this radical convert. But Barnabas saw something in this man, later to become known as the apostle Paul, author of many letters in the New Testament. Acting contrary to popular opinion, Barnabas befriended Saul, became his mentor, and they spent years together in fruitful ministry.

Then Paul and Barnabas had a dispute over John Mark, Barnabas’s cousin, who had bailed midway through one of their missionary journeys. Paul labeled John Mark a quitter, someone that lacked the necessary commitment to the cause. Barnabas, however, elected to part ways with Paul and stick by his cousin, again seeing something in him apparently no one else saw.

Years later Paul wrote: “My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you his greetings, as does Mark, the cousin of Barnabas. (You have received instructions about him; if he comes to you, welcome him” (Colossians 4:10), and “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11). While Paul didn’t admit to misjudging Mark, he obviously had a change of heart – likely because Barnabas took the time and made the effort to inspire Mark to become what he knew he could be.

As it says in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

If you’ve never had someone like that in your life, a person who has inspired you to raise your sights higher, I hope God brings one to you soon. And if you have had someone like that, how about “paying forward” – become that person for someone else. You won’t regret it.

Impact of a Timely ‘Attaboy’

Through the years I have been fortunate to have a number of excellent bosses who made very positive contributions to my career. One of them was gifted in a number of ways, but had one shortcoming: He found it difficult to catch someone doing something right.

By that I mean when staff members made errors or failed to carry out his instructions, this boss would be quick to take note – and let them know about it. When they performed well, however, nothing was ever said. No “Thank you,” or “Nice job,” or “Well done.”

Have you caught someone
doing something right lately?

On the Birkman Method motivational assessment tool we use in Leaders Legacy, the non-profit for which I work, it shows I have a fairly high need in the area of Esteem. That is, a need to feel affirmed or valued by people important to me, including those to whom I report. So when I repeatedly got “caught” when I did something unacceptable, but never when I did exactly as requested – or better, it bothered me.

Twice, after my boss’s tendency had persisted for quite a while, I told him – as tactfully as possible – that once in awhile I would appreciate an “attaboy,” kind of a verbal pat on the back. I would appreciate knowing that he had noticed something I had done well.

He paused briefly then replied, “Bob, I’ve never been that kind of person. If you don’t hear anything, assume everything’s OK.”

Maybe it wasn’t intended, but his response struck me with the force of an emotional dagger. What that comment said to me was, “I really don’t care about you – or what you need.”

In management, it’s easy to catch people doing something wrong. We all make mistakes. But it takes diligence, attentiveness – and just plain being interested in other people – to “catch them doing something right” and then to let them know it.

That does not mean you need to lavish praise on people all the time, but it’s amazing the impact a well-timed “attaboy” (or “attagirl”) can have.

The Old Testament book of Proverbs, perhaps the greatest collection of wisdom ever compiled, makes many observations about the power of speech. Here are two examples of when it’s used well: “A man find joy in giving an apt reply – and how good is a timely word! (Proverbs 15:23), and “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).

So when you happen to catch someone doing something right, maybe in a store, where you work, and especially in your home, let them know they’ve been “caught.”

On the Move With Susan G. Komen

Members of our family had the privilege of joining more than 9,000 men, women and young people in last weekend’s Susan G. Komen “Race for the Cure” in Chattanooga to fight breast cancer. We did so celebrating the fact my wife, Sally, was among the more than 100 survivors in attendance.

It was heartening to see these courageous women (and a few men) gathered together, adorned in bright pink t-shirts and pink ribbons symbolizing the cause. Special pink beads represented years of survivorship, and it was fun seeing some women with upwards of 20 strands hanging around their necks.

Events like this serve multiple purposes: There’s the fund-raising aspect, raising many thousands of dollars for breast cancer research. There is also the gratification of being involved in a cause bigger than oneself. As it says in Ecclesiastes 4:12, “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” In other words, there is great strength in numbers.

A third benefit is the encouragement those dealing with such adversity receive in meeting others that have confronted – and conquered – the disease. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 we are reminded of “…the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” This is one reason I continue to volunteer at a local hospital, visiting patients who – as I did about five years ago – have just undergone open-heart surgery.

And yet another benefit is gaining the sense that whatever challenge we are facing, we’re not in it alone. That there are others willing to come alongside to offer support, words of hope, and their prayers. This is a responsibility all of us that follow Jesus share: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

Life is so much richer when we realize we’re not here just for ourselves, but also for others. It is in the giving that we receive the most.

Part 2: “How Are You . . . Really?”

Recently I commented on our habit of asking people, “How are you?”, without really expecting – or desiring – a truthful answer. But when you have someone who refuses to accept a simple “Fine,” and invites or even insists that you respond with a complete and open answer, that’s a gift.

Fortunately I’ve had friends willing to look me in the eye and ask, “How are you…really?” For them, “Fine,” or “I’m okay” were non-answers and unacceptable. They were willing to devote the time and energy necessary to listen patiently. That spoke volumes.

In our instant, microwave, gotta-have-it-now society, few people are inclined to wonder how others are doing. But we all desperately need someone who values us enough to do just that. We can be surrounded by hundreds or thousands, yet feel totally alone unless we know someone cares for us – genuinely cares for our soul.

It’s been my privilege to mentor a number of men, and one of my questions always concerns how they are doing – looking straight at them so they know I want a full, honest response. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” How can we “sharpen” one another if we’re afraid to rub rough edges together?

Another passage, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, states, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!... Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

A key for survival in this complex, uncaring world is to reject the lone-ranger, all-by-myself mentality. God designed us for relationship. Near the dawn of creation He conceded, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).

So if you don’t already have someone, find at least one individual willing to ask, “How are you?” and await your answer. And try to be that kind of person for someone else. You just might – to paraphrase Clint Eastwood’s “Dirty Harry” – make their day.