Patiently Pondering Our Perpetual Lack of Patience

Did you hear about the physician who was always in a hurry? He had patients, but he didn’t have patience. (You may groan now.) Truth be told, patience is a virtue deficient in many of us. 

 

Think about it: On the roadways, our patience is tested almost continuously. Slow drivers in the fast lane. Traffic lights taking forever to turn green so we can proceed toward our destination. And the driver ahead of us apparently falling asleep waiting for the light to change. Traffic jams at the most inopportune times. Driving is my greatest reminder that my patience isn’t what it should be.

 

There are many other areas where patience – or one’s lack of it – is manifested: Doctors’ offices. The DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) that might as well be the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone), since we feel like taking up arms. Store checkout lines. Important phone calls that seem way overdue.

 

You could add examples of your own, but the point is we’re a very impatient people. Waiting and suffering through delays are sure blood-pressure boosters.

 

If I hear someone say they’re praying for patience, I cringe. Because I’ve learned one of God’s most preferred and effective ways for developing patience is to use circumstances that force us to be patient. 

 

Patience is one of the most accurate measuring sticks of spiritual growth. For assessing spirituality, we tend to use tangible things like how often we read the Bible; how many Scripture verses we’ve memorized; how regularly we attend church, and how glibly we pray. But a much more accurate gauge might be described in Galatians 5:22-23: 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

 

Sometimes we misread that passage as stating the “fruits” of the Spirit, but as I understand it, these virtues aren’t separate; they’re part of the same tree, rooted in the Holy Spirit. In other words, if we exhibit much love and joy but manifest a serious deficit in virtues like patience, or goodness, or gentleness, that’s a good indication that – like symptoms that reveal an illness – something’s wrong.

 

As believers we should find ourselves growing in every aspect of the fruit of the Spirit, but for now let’s focus on patience. Because for some, patience is the greatest stumbling block. I’ve written about this before, but passages like Psalm 37:7, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him,” and Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God,” have caused me considerable consternation over the years.

 

‘I don’t want to wait, Lord! ‘I want to do something – just tell me what to do!’

 

But how can we make ourselves be patient when that’s not our inclination? Some folks seem calm and composed regardless of the circumstances, and good for them. But what if we’re not wired that way?

 

This is why it’s important  to appropriate the truth of 2 Corinthians 5:17, that we are “new creations” in Jesus Christ. That everyone who’s a genuine follower must be “born again,” as He declared in John 3:3.

 

My friend Oswald Chambers, whose writings in My Utmost for His Highest have ministered to me for decades, explains it better that I can. In one entry he says:

“The mystery of sanctification is that the perfections of Jesus Christ are imparted to me instantly – not gradually…. Sanctification is ‘Christ in me.’ It is Christ’s own wonderful life that is imparted to me by faith as a sovereign gift of God’s grace…. Sanctification means that Jesus gives me His patience, His love, His holiness, His faith, His purity, and His godliness. All these are manifested in and through every sanctified soul….”

 

We want to nod affirmation to those statements, but deep down we’re wondering, ‘Yes, I believe that. But why do I still struggle with being impatient (among other things)?’ This is where the astonishing words of the apostle Paul come in.

 

In Romans 7:15-20 he wrote, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me….” 

 

When I first read this, I initially thought Paul was writing in circles. Later I thought his statement – “Now if I do what I do not want to do it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it” – was a copout. But the truth is, in Christ we are dead to sin – but sin is not dead to us. It can still influence our “flesh,” our sinful nature that remains with us.

 

We may never fully master impatience this side of eternity. It might even be for us the equivalent of what Paul termed his “thorn in the flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7), a constant reminder of how desperately dependent we are on the Lord for living the way He desires.

As we grow spiritually, however, at the very least we can and should experience progress in this area – as well as others. As Paul declared, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13), and that includes being patient even when we see no good reason for doing so. Whenever I try to offer the excuse, ‘I can’t!”, the Lord is poised to respond, ‘I know. But I can!’ 

Finding Ourselves Stuck in God’s Waiting Room

Ever walk up to a cashier who says, “Sorry for your wait”? The first time I heard that I hesitated, wondering if she was referring to what the scales told me that morning. Then I realized she wasn’t saying “weight.” 

 

But many times we do wish people would sincerely apologize and say, “Sorry for your wait.” We’re an impatient people and hate being kept waiting, especially when driving. If we’re at a red light and the person in front of us doesn’t move the instant it turns green, we reach for our car horn to “wake them up.” 

 

When road construction narrows a highway by a lane or two, we see “special” people speed along the berm to get a few cars further ahead. Why wait when you can cut in line, right? And when someone decides to take his or her good old time in the fast lane, we’re inclined to think or say uncomplimentary things about their ancestry.

But our widespread lack of patience isn’t limited to our time on the roadways. Who hasn’t started fidgeting while waiting in the doctor’s office, checking the time every couple of minutes, nervously tapping our toes, or imagining new symptoms we didn’t have when we arrived? Physicians may have patients, but their patients quickly grow impatient.

 

Self-checkout lines at grocery and department stores have become popular because we don’t have to wait behind people at the regular checkout line who dilly-dally, ignoring the conga line of shoppers behind them. Recognizing our proneness to impatience, Amazon has capitalized by offering same-day delivery in some areas. ‘I want it. And I want it now!’

 

Our aversion to waiting becomes evident when we’re ready to leave for a special event but our companion’s still in the midst of final preparations. We grow impatient for someone to answer whom we’ve called on speed-dial. Patience may be a virtue, but our collective lack of it as a society serves as further evidence that we’re not a virtuous nation. 

 

So, it’s not particularly comforting for many folks to discover that waiting – and exercising patience – are important recurring themes in the Bible. They’re among God’s most effective strategies for fostering our spiritual growth.

 

You don’t want to know how many times the word “wait” appears in the Scriptures. The term “be still” is used more than a dozen times. And the words “patient,” “patience” and “patiently” combined are found more than 40 times. So, they must be significant for the Lord and His purposes.

 

In my favorite of the Psalms, we’re instructed, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him” (Psalm 37:7), and then for emphasis we’re told, “Wait for the Lord and keep His way” (Psalm 37:34). Verse 10 implies waiting when it declares, “A little while, and the wicked will be no more….” It doesn’t stipulate how long a “little while” will be. In the eyes of many of us, we’re still waiting for that.

 

What’s the purpose for all this waiting, this ‘being still’? Psalm 46:10 gives us a partial answer: “Be still and know that I am the Lord.” As we’re waiting, knowing we’re helpless – and maybe even feeling hopeless – to do anything about our circumstances, God is taking His time so that when the solution comes, there will be no question that it’s His doing.

 

Often periods of waiting have to do with suffering. Whether physical, mental, emotional or all of the above, we desire for our suffering to end. At such times, waiting and being patient are just the things we don’t want to do. But even in times of great adversity, God’s delays have a purpose.

 

Romans 5:3-5 states, “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.” This informs us that suffering and waiting can be key ingredients for shaping our character and ultimately, our faith.

 

James 1:2-4 expands on that: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” 

 

Reading that, I’m reminded of Hebrews 11:1 which affirms, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Couple that with 2 Corinthians 5:7, which asserts, “We walk by faith, not by sight,” we realize that God’s “waiting room” is an important part of His process for building and strengthening our faith.

 

If the Lord gave us whatever we asked for, whenever we wanted it, that wouldn’t require much if any faith, would it? But He isn’t our servant. He’s our loving, all-knowing Father who promises to answer all of our prayers and requests according to His perfect will.

 

Sometimes we have a need that must be met immediately, and God graciously meets it. As Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Other times, however, our ‘urgent’ needs are merely reflections of our impatience and reluctance to wait on the Lord’s perfect timing – never early, never late, but always right on time.

 

If you find yourself in God’s waiting room right now, keep trusting. The Lord certainly has something far greater in mind than to provide the answer to your prayers right now. In fact, He might even be preparing an answer that you couldn't have hoped for or imagined. I’ve experienced that many times in my life, even though admittedly, I’m still not good at waiting.

Can We Find You in the ‘Impatient’ Parking Lot?

When I was a newspaper editor, there were a few embarrassing moments when we overlooked obvious typos in large headlines. The problem with newspapers on actual paper is that once they’ve been printed and distributed, you can’t press autocorrect and fix errors.

 

I can’t recall the specific instances, but I’ll never forget the feeling of egg-on-face when I picked up one of the papers and spotted the error. Why those stood out like sore thumbs after being printed but seemed invisible prior to that, I never figured out. In today’s digital age, newspapers, blogs and Internet sites have the luxury of being able to correct typos, hoping they were caught before anyone noticed.

 

Do hospitals
need proofreaders?

Imagine how the person felt who produced the large metal sign for a hospital that read, “Impatient Parking.” In-patient, impatient. They’re close, aren’t they? I have no idea how long that sign stood proudly before someone picked up on the problem. But the sign might really have been more accurate. Actually, a sign that reads ‘Patient Parking’ seems like an oxymoron.

 

Because if you’ve ever gone to a doctor’s office or a hospital, you quickly realize that while physicians are instructed to ‘have patients,’ the patients themselves are required to have patience – and lots of it.

 

The issue of patience vs. impatience isn’t restricted to medical facilities and offices, of course. When I’ve sat behind the wheel of my car at a traffic light that’s slow to turn, you could describe my idling vehicle as impatient parking. The same applies to waiting while a shopper at the supermarket leisurely loads his or her groceries into their car while I sit restlessly waiting for them to move so I can claim their parking spot.

 

It boils down to this: I wouldn’t mind waiting if it didn’t take so long. Impatience has been a defining characteristic for much of my life. I’ve never been good at ‘hurry up and wait.’ That’s probably true for more of us than we’d like to admit. Some societies around the world might choose to proceed at slower, more relaxing paces, but many of us in America have grown accustomed to marching orders like “ASAP,” “stat!” and "immediately – if not sooner.”

 

This can present problems for us spiritually. Because God works at His own pace, and often it’s not at all the pace we’d prefer. In fact, one of the common traits of a growing, fruitful follower of Jesus Christ, as described in Galatians 5:22-23, is patience: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control….”

 

Why is this? Because the Lord operates according to His own schedule. Like it or not, it’s always perfect. Not early, not late; just right on time. Consider Philippians 1:6, which declares, “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” 

 

At those times when I attempt to assess my spiritual progress, I typically shake my head in dismay considering how far I am from where I think I should be. The verse above does give me hope and encouragement, since it promises that what God has started in our lives He’s determined to finish.

 

Many of us would like to think we’re making a difference in this world, being used by God in some small way to participate in what He’s doing, but sometimes it seems like nothing is happening. This is when we need to read and meditate on verses like Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

 

In another of his epistles, the apostle Paul expresses similar sentiments to believers in ancient Corinth, a very pagan, ungodly city. He admonished them, “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58).

 

When we think about it, the Christian life is a continual exercise of patience, clinging to faith even when circumstances seem beyond hope. As Paul wrote to Christ followers in Rome, “…but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently” (Romans 8:23-25).

So, if you find yourself in the “Impatient Parking” lot, you’re not alone. But we should take heart. God’s not finished with us yet. He’s busy completing the work He began in us, as well as the world around us. As an older New American Standard translation phrases it, “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”