Determining to ‘Choose Your Hard’ With Wisdom

Have you noticed that life isn’t easy? When we’re children, our parents ask us to do tough stuff like, “Eat your peas,” “Pick up your toys,” and “Don’t jump in the mud puddle.” Who knew being a kid could be so demanding?

 

We transition to adolescence and our teen years, and things are still hard. We’re required to do homework, clean up our rooms, get our first job, learn how to drive, and be home by curfew. None of those is easy.

 

Even as we get older and more mature, life doesn’t ease up. Getting a college education or technical training to begin a career; seeking full-time employment and then doing the work; finding a place to live, paying bills, and trying to live as a responsible adult. None of which is the proverbial walk in the park.

 

Listening to the radio while driving to another state, I heard a different perspective on the hard things in life. A poem attributed to Devon Brough made the following observations:

“Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard.

Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard.

Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard.

Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard.

Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Pick wisely.”

 

At the very least, this prompts us to stop and think, doesn’t it? Take the first point: When we choose to get married, that’s the easy part. Choosing to stay married, when the ‘richer or poorer,’ ‘sickness and health’ parts start kicking in, is a very different matter. Just within the past week I’ve talked with two friends whose adult daughters are choosing to get divorces. They’ve discovered marriage is hard. Divorce, they’ll soon learn, is hard too. Moving forward they will have to ‘choose their hard.’

 

The hardness of being in debt is something I can relate to easily. Struggling in debt was very hard – the easy part is never forgetting how hard it was. It took a lot of time, discipline, sacrifice and the grace of God to get out of debt. Choosing that ‘hard’ was well worth it.

Researching on the poem above, I saw that some pushed back against its message, noting sometimes the hard things in life are thrust upon us through no fault of our own. While that’s true, we still have the option of choosing how to respond to adverse circumstances, whatever they are.

 

I just finished reading Though He Fall, a biography by Scott Mitchell. In it he recounts an evening outing with some college friends when he slipped and fell off a cliff, dropping of more than 70 feet. He suffered severe injuries to his spine and legs, leaving him a paraplegic. While he didn’t use the phrase ‘choose your hard,’ Mitchell had to do just that. 

 

He could have chosen to wallow in self-pity and resign to defeat because of his disability. Instead, he endured the agonies of rehabilitation, physical therapy and numerous setbacks, determining to maintain a positive attitude anchored in his faith in Jesus Christ. Despite being confined to a wheelchair, Mitchell learned to drive a car using hand controls, graduated from college with a ministerial degree, got married, had a fruitful itinerant preaching ministry, and even pastored two churches for nearly 20 years.

 

The Scriptures are replete with teachings that support the “choose your hard” approach to life, including the all-important decision of whether to follow Christ. After leading the Israelites into the Promised Land, Joshua acknowledged they had an important choice to make, being surrounded by peoples worshiping pagan gods. He declared, “…if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

 

We each face a similar choice today. The world around us presents a variety of ‘gods’ and idols we can worship, including materialism, prestige, popularity, self-gratification, and various ideologies. But no matter which we choose to follow, we’ll find the way is hard, frustrating, and offers rewards that are temporary at best.

 

The alternative is to commit our lives to following the Lord, even though that path is hard as well. It’s our faith that enables us to face, accept and even revel in adversity. We can trust in promises like the one God gave the Israelites during their exile in Babylon: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

 

We also have assurances like Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” And Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

 

God never promised that following and serving Him in this life would be easy. There are no promises of rose gardens in the Bible. In fact, Psalm 34:19 tells us, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”

The ultimate ‘choose your hard’ is whether to live with the Lord and live for Him – or to live without Him. As Joshua said, we must choose for ourselves this day whom we will serve. Choose wisely. 

‘Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do – and Not Do What I Want to Do?’

Over the years many passages of the Bible have intrigued me, but few have struck me more profoundly than Romans 7, in which the apostle Paul candidly confesses his personal struggles.

 

The verses that stand out most are Romans 7:15-17, in which he seems to complain, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.” 

 

There’s more to this sorrowful confession, but consider: These were the words of the apostle Paul. Not tempestuous, vindictive King Saul of Israel. Or Samson, who had a decided weakness for the ladies. Or King David, who was a murderer and adulterer despite being described as a man with “a heart after God.” Or even Judas Iscariot, whose greed and ambition caused him to become the greatest betrayer in history.

 

No, it was Paul, who became a new person with a new name after his dramatic, transforming encounter with Jesus Christ on the road to Damascus. He was a pillar of the early Church, the fellow God inspired to write nearly half of the New Testament. This man of God felt it important to devote nearly an entire chapter to the question, “Why do I do what I don’t want to do – and why don’t I do what I want to do?” 

 

Perhaps you’ve asked this question of yourself. You have a bad habit or a ‘besetting’ sin you’ve wrestled with for a long time. You’ve resolved to stop it. But then you do it again. Or there’s something you know you should be doing, and with the best of intentions determine to follow through on it. But you don’t.

 

What’s the deal? Why do we, like Paul, find ourselves doing what we don’t want to do – and not doing what we want to do?

 

It’s a complex question, but I think Paul addresses the solution in the preceding chapter of his letter to the believers in Rome. Paul assures them, “We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life” (Romans 6:4). 

 

Verses later he adds, “In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:11). Other translations, instead of ‘count,’ use the words ‘consider’ or ‘reckon.’ We’re to regard ourselves as dead to sin – no longer enslaved to it – but alive to God in Christ.

 

Some other verses that relate to this truth and help us to gain a fuller understanding include:

“I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born again” (John 3:3).

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

 

Looking at these passages together, it seems there’s a choice we must make. We have been given new spiritual life by being “born again,” meaning the Spirit of Christ now lives in us, giving us a new nature. However, for whatever reason, God does not remove our “sinful nature” (also translated “the flesh"). We can either choose to appropriate the life and power of Jesus Christ in us, or we can continue to operate according to our corrupted, sinful natures.

 

In my admittedly limited understanding of technology, it’s like having a corrupted, malfunctioning operating system on a computer and installing a new, perfectly functional operating system. But instead of removing the old system, it remains and we must consciously choose which to use – the one that works as intended, or the one that keeps messing up.

 

Sadly, many believers don’t seem to realize they have a choice. They excuse their sinful stumbling as “Well, I’m only human” or “I’m just a sinner saved by grace.” But if we believe the Scriptures, we aren’t ‘only human.’ We’ve been given a new spiritual life. And we’re redefined not as ‘sinners saved by grace’ but as “saints in Christ Jesus’ (Philippians 1:1 and many other places) who can still sin. A saint, by biblical definition, is one who has been sanctified or set apart by God.

 

This is just scratching the tip of a ton of theology, but the reality for Christ followers is that while we can and will still sin, we don’t have to sin. It’s no longer, to use another computer term, our “default setting.” As Paul wrote in the passage above, “it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.”

 

This reminds me of a powerful statement from the Old Testament, in which Joshua was giving his final speech to the people of Israel. He admonished them, “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

Once we understand that God – through His Spirit that dwells within us – has given us the capacity for faithfully serving Him, we too must choose whether to serve Him, or to continue yielding to our old habits and sinful ways. At times the flesh will prevail resulting in sin, but through the power of Christ in us, we won’t be able to say, “The devil made me do it.” 

Discovering the One Identity That Matters Most

Have you watched any of those crime dramas on TV – the ones with forensic pathologists doing extensive examinations of corpses seeking to determine, “Who is this person?” I find it interesting that whether we’re living or deceased, our identity is so integral to our existence.

 

Identity is a recurring theme these days, even dominating news reports at times. Debates abound about whether it’s important to prove one’s identity to participate in an election – voter ID. We hear endless commentaries (or arguments) over something called “gender identity.” Famous individuals make news when they announce their identity as supporters of a particular political party.

But our identity – who we are – doesn’t have to be news-making. Whenever we fill out a survey, they ask numerous questions related to our identity: Are we married, single, divorced, or what? What about race or ethnicity – which one are we? Then there’s that matter of gender again. The difference is that these days, there are usually more than two boxes from which to choose.

 

When we meet someone for the first time, whether in a business context, a new neighbor or even a fellow passenger on a commercial jet, one question we commonly ask – or answer – is, “What kind of work do you do?” In other words, what’s your vocational or professional identity?

 

We can find a sense of “identity” in the sports teams we root for, hobbies we pursue, how much education we have and where we received it, the size of our bank account, which subdivision we live in, the people and groups we associate with, and a host of many other things. 

 

Each of these identity determinants has some value, but shouldn’t there be something about us that transcends such things as ethnicity, net worth, job, or even how we spend time behind closed doors?

 

Reading through the Bible, we see a strange and amazing collection of characters, most of them very flawed, but in terms of identity, they had one reality in common: They saw themselves as inseparably linked to God; He was their single-most reason for being. For instance, we read that “Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God” (Hebrews 11:24-25).

 

Moses’ successor, Joshua, led the Israelites into the Promised Land, fulfilling the promise the Lord had made when they were freed from bondage in Egypt. But a great danger lurked – the temptation to turn away from the one true God and worship the false gods of the surrounding nations. So, as his days as their leader were nearing an end, Joshua gave the people of Israel this charge: “…then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

 

As good an example of someone who had absolute clarity about his identity was Paul the apostle. Speaking to a large crowd in the city of Athens, filled with idols to an multiplicity of gods, Paul explained what faith in Jesus Christ meant: “In him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28)

 

Writing to believers in the city of Galatia, he declared, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20). 

 

Writing to Jesus’ followers in another ancient church, Paul underscored their true identity: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). In another letter to the same group, the apostle wrote, “Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:16).

 

Being Christ followers also clarified one’s identity in terms of calling and service, the apostle asserted, “for we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building” (1 Corinthians 3:9). Imagine being chosen as co-workers with the Lord in fulfilling His eternal purposes on earth.

 

In his second letter to the church in Corinth, Paul wrote, “…God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God” (1 Corinthians 5:19-20). 

 

Perhaps the most compelling statement about the true identity of those who follow Jesus is found in Galatians 3:26-28, which declares, “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

In Christ, traits like ethnicity, social status or gender aren’t taken into account. Our jobs, hobbies, personal possessions and portfolios, even our personal habits, are things we do – but they’re not who we are, our identity, if we have received Him as Savior and Lord. We are “new creations” – the old has passed, the new has come! 

‘The World Needs More Cowboys’

At the risk of giving folks a hint at just how old I’m getting, I recall that as a boy one highlight of my week was Saturday morning when I would watch the cowboy shows. There included Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, the Lone Ranger, Wild Bill Hickok, Hopalong Cassidy, Annie Oakley, and the Cisco Kid. Do you recall any of those?

Then after school and on the weekends when we had run out of TV shows to watch, we’d often engage in games of “cowboys and Indians.” There were no video apps or cable in those days, and the only tablets were what the doctor instructed us to take two of, then call him in the morning. So we actually had to go outside and play. However, growing up in suburban New Jersey, we really knew little about what cowboy life was really like. 

So I was intrigued when I happened across a promo video produced by the University of Wyoming, whose mascot is the Cowboy. The video, part of a broader promotional campaign, is called “The World Needs More Cowboys,” and it’s been seen by at least half a million viewers. Actually, it created a bit of a stir because a couple of professors denounced it as being “racist” and “sexist.” Isn’t everything racist and sexist these days?

The university’s female president strongly disagreed. She wrote, “The campaign takes [our] strongest asset – our iconic bucking-horse-and-rider mark and the Cowboys mascot – and modernizes it to reflect today’s challenges. It redefines what it means to be a Cowboy in this day and age…the inner spirit of curiosity and boldness that all who call themselves Cowboys and Cowgirls can identify with – no matter their race or gender….”

I’m not advocating for the university; I’ve never even been to Wyoming. And if you’ve read my blog long enough, you know I’m a Buckeye that bleeds Scarlet and Gray. But I enjoyed the metaphor. 

In the video important questions are raised: “Restless curiosity. Whatever happened to that? When did we stop thinking up new questions and daring to chase down their answers? Should we blindly follow predetermined paths when they never take us anywhere new?...when there’s still so much to explore off the beaten trail? The world needs more wonder, more outside thinkers hungry for a challenge. The world needs more cowboys…. It’s a shared spirit…the spirit of the underdog, the trailblazer, the kind of spirit that longs for something to prove. The kind that emboldens those who possess it to stand on the perimeter and howl on the unknown with unbendable optimism.”

There wasn’t a Christian undercurrent to this message. But what it proclaims could easily apply for those of us who follow Jesus. Because today, the culture seeks to dictate for us what we should think, what we should say, how we should act. The one-time Judeo-Christian consensus that served to undergird our nation is evaporating before our eyes. As a result, every day we’re becoming more like cowboys than entrenched “settlers.”

When we read the Scriptures, we see this trait in Christ’s disciples. Yes, they were fishermen, tradesmen and even a tax collector. But I doubt any of their mothers ever heard the musical refrain, “Don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys.”

At a time when society and culture are insisting on conformity in the name of “tolerance,” we read the admonition from Romans 12:2, which tells us “do not be conformed to the pattern of this world,” or as a popular paraphrase expressed it, “don’t let the world squeeze you into its mold.” The passage doesn’t say, “be more like cowboys,” but it could have.

Speaking to a multitude that had gathered to hear His teaching, Jesus warned, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:14).

Being a follower of Christ doesn’t mean we can’t ask questions or even wrestle with doubts about our faith at times. Rather, we should strive to be more like the noble Bereans who, “examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true” (Acts 17:11). At the same time, we should be conducting our lives in such a way that we raise questions – among those we encounter: “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15).

Another trait cowboys possess, even with their curiosity, boldness and willingness to blaze new trails, is unwavering commitment to the task, to what they’ve been called to do. Similarly, in a world described as post-Christian, post-modern and increasingly secular, it seems our responsibility before God involves becoming more the exception and less the rule. 

This doesn’t mean we must forsake our beliefs, or the principles and truths by which we live and formulate our faith. To the contrary, we should remember what Joshua told the Israelites as they were preparing to venture into the Promised Land for the first time. There they would encounter a variety of false gods, pagan gods formed of wood and stone. So Joshua exhorted them, “choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

How about it? Are you willing to become a bold, curious, unwavering cowboy for Christ?

Faith is More Than Being a Fan

Every Saturday during the fall, millions of fans crowd America's
football stadiums. But the commitment level of fickle fans can waver.

If you’re into spectator sports, chances are you’re a fan of a particular team, maybe several. How did you choose which teams to cheer for?

Sometimes being a fan is “inherited,” as in “my family has always rooted for XYZ team, so I do, too.” Maybe it’s because of where you have lived. Growing up near New York City, I became a Yankee fan, and later I also rooted for the Mets. Or perhaps it’s because of your alma mater – the high school or college you attended. My family and friends know I’m an avid Ohio State fan, and I’ve been one from the time I enrolled in 1967 and later received two degrees there.

Not everyone’s a big sports fan, of course. But chances are you’re a fan of some entity  – it could be an actor or artist, some other kind of celebrity, a political party, or even a car manufacturer. And in all likelihood, if you’re a fan you feel very strongly about it.

The point is, being a fan, supporter or advocate of someone or something is largely a matter of choice. Even though I’ve live in SEC country for more than 35 years, I’m not a big fan of the Southeastern Conference. Even though I lived in the Northeast as a boy, I didn’t have to become a fan of any of the New York sports teams. And there are particular entertainers I really like, and others I don’t, but no one is forcing me to give them my unquestioned allegiance.

In some ways it’s similar spiritually. Geography might play a role in what we believe. If raised in the Middle East, one’s definitely going to be exposed more to Islam than any other religion. People in the Far East are more typically oriented toward Buddhism, Shintoism or Hinduism, again depending on the nation and culture in which they live. But since faith is a matter of the heart, as well as the head, no one can coerce a person to believe one way or another.

This, however, is where the similarity between sports fandom and spiritual faith ends. Because if my beloved Buckeyes win, I’ll feel happy, and if they lose, I’ll feel sad. I could even choose to no longer root for them. Nevertheless, their successes and failures don’t define who I am or how I live. My faith, on the other hand, does.

Kyle Idleman wrote a book called Not a Fan, in which he explained the difference between being a nominal, once-a-week “fan” of Jesus Christ and being a committed, 24/7 follower. As we survey the contemporary church scene across America, it appears there are many fans of Jesus, but not nearly as many true disciples. This is one reason He cautioned, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

A “warm fuzzy” form of faith, one that’s not too demanding and doesn’t require much of us, has a certain appeal. We can check into the sanctuary periodically, even spend a few minutes in the Bible once in a while, as long as we’re not asked to alter our lives or priorities too much.

But “warm fuzzy” is anathema to the calling God places on each of His children. We see this repeatedly in the Old Testament, when superficial belief – being a “fan” – is dismissed. Deuteronomy 6:4-5, for instance, says, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”

As his leadership of the Israelites was coming to an end, Joshua declared to the people, “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

The world around us presents a multitude of “god” options – possessions, power, status, careers, ideologies, hobbies, family, even sports teams. Any of them can consume our lives and thoughts.

So we have a choice. We can be a fan of Jesus, turning to Him in times of crisis or when seeking specific blessings, while continuing to conduct our lives independently, or choose to follow and serve Him “in spirit and in truth” (John 4:23-24). Because as God instructed the Israelites upon giving them the Ten Commandments, “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3)

As Joshua and his family did, we also must choose this day whom we are willing to serve.

Deciding Which Road to Take

Over the years I’ve enjoyed the writings of the late poet Robert Frost. Perhaps my favorite is his poem, “The Road Not Taken,” partly because it’s so profound in its simplicity.

Even though it consists of only 20 lines, I’ll not quote it in entirety, but here are the key verses:

The most-traveled path is not
always the best to follow.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair….

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

That last thought, “I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference,” echoes as a reminder that taking the most popular, well-traveled path may seem convenient but it’s not always the best.

This poem brings to mind another quote I came across some time back: “It’s better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.”

We used to hear a lot about the pitfalls of peer pressure, how striving to please those around us and following their lead could result in serious consequences. That hasn’t changed. It’s probably been the case since the beginning of time. Shepherds understand that sheep are prone to follow each other, even into calamity, and the prophet Isaiah observed thousands of years ago, “We all, like sheep, have gone astray…” (Isaiah 53:6). In many ways we are indeed like sheep, following the crowd, sometimes without a clue about where we’re heading.

At one time the Judeo-Christian ethic was largely embraced in our society – not only in our churches, but also schools, houses of government, and even places of business. That’s where our notions of loving our neighbors as ourselves, doing to others as we would have them do to us, and being kind to strangers came from. Today, however, society as a whole seems intent on drifting away from principles that undergirded our everyday lives – and excluding God from the entire equation.

Increasingly, those of us who believe we stand accountable before a holy, all-knowing, almighty God find ourselves having to take this “road less traveled by.” Does that mean we’re in the wrong, that mankind has suddenly gotten so smart God is no longer necessary? Have we become so “enlightened”?

I doubt it. Highly intelligent people throughout the centuries have honored and worshipped God and viewed their lives and work as ways of serving Him and others. In our culture we tend to equate “blessings” with prosperity, but ironically we’ve been so blessed in that way many people no longer feel a need for God. That’s doesn’t mean He’s no longer there – or that His ways are no longer right.

Jesus often spoke about this, noting that even the religious leaders were more concerned about what other people thought of them than how they were viewed by God. Peer pressure, and the adoration of men, served as their motivations. This is why the Lord admonished His followers, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33).

Long before Robert Frost wrote his celebrated poem, Jesus spoke about a spiritual road less traveled. “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).

This doesn’t mean becoming regulated by a system of rules and rituals, but rather recognizing that although the vast majority may be joining in following a popular path, they may in fact be heading in the wrong direction. As Proverbs 16:25 warns, “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.”

This is why Joshua, not long before he died, declared to the Israelites he had been leading, “chose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). This is a choice we each must make – it can’t happen by default. If we don’t consciously make this decision, it’s very likely someone will make it for us. And in these times, when people choose the road they will take, it’s not the one that leads to God.