Not Always As They Seem

It’s become increasingly evident that often, people we think we know – we really don’t know at all.

Case in point: The two brothers of Chechen descent that allegedly orchestrated the Boston Marathon bombings and had plotted further mayhem. Some neighbors and fellow students described them with adjectives like “quiet,” “nice,” “friendly” and even “kind.” Huh? Hardly terms that fit makers of pressure-cooker bombs that killed and dismembered people near the finish of one of New England’s most celebrated events.

But such a disparity isn’t unusual. Mass murderers are often depicted as aloof, introverted, or moody, but rarely does anyone say something like, “Now there was a potential serial killer if ever I saw one!”

People being not always as they seem isn’t restricted to perpetrators of heinous crimes. Recently a single day’s news included multiple reports of prominent entertainers and media celebrities being arrested for alcohol and drug-related violations. One being a popular, perky actress who never would have been envisioned as a mean drunk.

In dealing with people, what you see
often isn't what you get.

And it doesn’t stop there. What about the revered preacher, author of best-selling books and star of weekly TV and radio shows, caught in secretive, sexual indiscretions? Or the iconic business executive found guilty of ethical wrongdoing? Even the “perfect couple” next door, envied by all, shockingly filing for divorce?

We think we know people, but do we…really? What’s the deal?

The Bible offers insight. In the Old Testament, God had sent the prophet Samuel to anoint one of Jesse’s sons to succeed Saul as Israel’s king. Samuel studied each son and wondered, “Is this the one?” Apparently they all passed the look test. But with each one the Lord responded, “Nope. Not him.”

Finally, Samuel discovered Jesse had one more son – David, a shepherd boy still tending the sheep. So Samuel had Jesse summon David. When the boy arrived, God informed the prophet, “That’s the one!”

Earlier Samuel had received the explanation: “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

That’s our problem. We can only look on the outside, drawing conclusions based on perceptions. God, however, examines the heart – the inner person. He knows one's true thoughts, motives, desires and aspirations.

In Leaders Legacy, the non-profit I work with, we use a motivational assessment tool called the Birkman Method. A key descriptor of this resource is “Usual Style” or “Usual Behavior.” This relates to outward behavior – what we observe about other people, the basis for conclusions and judgments we form about them.

However, “Usual Style” is actually learned behavior, what individuals find enables them to be most effective in life. This often contrasts sharply from “Needs” – underlying requirements or expectations that must be fulfilled to bring contentment and peace.

Realizing what you see in people isn’t always what you get, I’ve given up trying to be a good judge of people. Their external behavior can be very deceiving. God alone is capable of judging properly and accurately, because He can see what’s going on inside. As Proverbs 21:2 says, “All a man’s ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart.”

‘Where Was God?’

On April 15, the Federal income tax filing deadline, the adage, “The only certainties in life are death and taxes,” took on terrifying new meaning. The bombings near the finish line of the revered Boston Marathon took several lives and maimed many others, shattering a popular – and traditionally joyous – community and regional celebration.

The fact one of the victims was Martin Richard, a bright, engaging, eight-year-old boy, barely on the cusp of a promising life, made the sinister plot to cause pain, mayhem and devastation even more horrific and incomprehensible.

Initially, thoughts centered around who had perpetrated such a criminal act – and why. But inevitably the question arises: “Where was God?” Or as others might phrase it, “If God is so good and loving, how could He allow such a terrible thing to happen?”

Similar questions arose in the aftermath of the Dec. 14, 2012 shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School, in which 20 children and six adults were killed; after terrorists commandeered the jets on Sept. 11, 2001, taking more than 3,000 lives; following the bombing at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City on April 19, 1995, when 168 people died, including 19 children under the age of six. And sadly, after too many other senseless acts.

So, where was God when these events took place?

There are many possible answers to this question, but I don’t believe we can assert He was uncaring, indifferent, distant, or even non-existent. In each case, He was there in the hands, arms and legs of the first responders who ran to assist the injured. He was there making certain the number of casualties was not greater. He was there in the eyes, ears, lips and embraces of people that offered listening ears, caring touches and compassionate words to all affected. And I believe He was there in ways we can’t conceive.

But there’s one aspect of the question, “Where was God?” that concerns me.

Let me offer an analogy: Picture a neighbor who makes every effort to reach out to you, offering friendship. He or she – or they – Invite you to their home for dinner or a casual visit. They extend kindnesses, like a freshly baked pie or cake, or volunteering their help. They happily greet you whenever they see you, but you consistently ignore them or look the other way.

You rebuff their every attempt to enter into your life.

Then comes a day when you desperately need their help. Perhaps your car has broken down and you need to get somewhere quickly. Or you have some kind of domestic crisis. Then – and only then – do you acknowledge their existence. You go to them, soliciting their help. How would you reasonably expect them to respond?

Now imagine God being that neighbor. For decades we have systematically schemed to exclude Him from every aspect of our daily lives – schools and institutions of higher learning; public facilities; sporting arenas; hospitals; governmental and civic events; the media; retail stores, insisting on “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” In some communities, freedom to conduct Bible studies in private homes has even been challenged.

The omnipresent God cannot be evicted by legislation or mandate, but He’s graciously withdrawn His restraining presence. Perhaps He’s said, “OK, if you don’t want me around, I’ll stay out of your way. See how that works for you.”

When things are going well, no problem. We don’t even sense God’s absence, His lack of involvement. We don’t need Him. But when calamity strikes, we suddenly wonder, “Where was God?”

I’m not suggesting in any sense that God orchestrates such heinous events. Or that His faithful followers are somehow immune from life’s calamities. But we shouldn’t be surprised when, after deliberately seeking to eliminate Him from our everyday lives, He doesn’t instantly intervene when evil intentions become evil actions, resulting in intense pain and suffering.

The Bible describes God as “my hiding place and my shield” (Psalm 119:114). Another passage views Him as “my fortress and my deliverer…my rock, in whom I take refuge…my stronghold” (Psalm 18:2).

Our nation was founded with reverence for God – and awareness of His protective powers, as described above. But in today’s “enlightened, progressive” thinking and philosophies, our society has chosen to dispense with that. Proverbs 29:18 states, “When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild. But whoever obeys the law is joyful.”

If that’s true, should the chaos surrounding us be such a great surprise?